Why do girls let themselves go?

[Marathonmama]

As a woman so much is dependent on our looks. If you look good everyone is nice to you like you and life if 5000x easier it’s true!! Why do so many women let themselves go? I have a ridiculous body I run 8 miles a day and go to the gym! As a result it’s 41 in hotter than most girls half my age, I have the same measurements as my girl Alessandra Ambrosio!! That’s part genetic blessing but it’s mostly hard work!!! I keep in great shape have tons of energy as a result I have a crazy sex drive. My husband great bod in great shape and he’s aroused all the time we have sex everyday I’m not on my period and on those days I blow him. Many times we have sex 2-3 times a day usually we have sex 2x a day!! He can’t get enough and I give it to him lol why is this so hard for women my life is easy and happy because I focus on my appearance then after that I’m super sweet to everyone!! These are things totally in your control!! Why let yourself go?

[Crimsyjo]

I let myself go when I had an abusive boyfriend ten years younger than me that accused me of trying to attract the father's at the school during school runs. Banned me from wearing legs. Accused me of cheating if I was putting make up on to visit a female friend. And taking every penny I had to the point I didn't even have bus fare to take my daughter to hospital appointment as he took the only money I had for the ticket the night before. I was unhappy and depressed and dreamed of either trying to take my kids and escape or murder him in his sleep. I put on huge amounts of weight.

I got out of that relationship. Took 8 years to heal mentally and physically. I lost 6 stone in one year. I too go running and gym. I buy nice clothes, sexy lingerie, make up. I have a very high sex drive. I don't have the perfect figure after being so much bigger when things were so bad. I'll never have a flat stomach again. But I get to fuck hot guys in their 20's regular who seem to love my curves and body. I feel the best I've ever been. I even feel pretty (even as a skinny 19 Yr old I never did). I'm old enough to know and not expect to be attractive to every male. And it's really unimportant. I do get insecure seeing other "better" women but I am the best I can be right now.

Your lucky to have a supportive loving husband. Your lucky to have the lifestyle and genetics to support your appearance. That's great. Just remember tho that not everyone has been so blessed and a little compassion could go a long way.

[Crimsyjo]

*haha wearing leggings not 'legs' by the way. Damn auto correct

[petitedollbabee]

It’s not simply a case of choosing to “let yourself go”. Life gets in the way for a lot of women. Work, kids, etc, we don’t all have the luxury of spending copious amounts of time on our image. And not all of us care about how we appear to the world. Some of us are happy as we are, we don’t feel a need to constantly chase after our appearance to please other people.

[morganherrel]

This is a terrible excuse. All girls need to do at this point is eat less to become attractive. It's really that easy. Eating less SAVES TIME AND MONEY. Instead, they don't take care of themselves and become unattractive. Men are left with comparatively limited options.

[Marathonmama]

I have all those things. Works kids etc I choose to stay fit and look good and as a result I’m happy and life is easier. Yes I have great genes but I work my ass off to look like a freakin supermodel. It’s not easy to have a body like this at 41! I just had a neatly 3 hour sex session with my husband it’s not easy but it’s worth it

[petitedollbabee]

That’s great for you 😄 everyone has different priorities too.

[morganherrel]

It can be justified even if one is not just trying to please others. It's really about self-love and self-care.

Eating less has been shown to have various emotional and cognitive benefits... And most Americans would live longer if they it.

I respect the "priorities" argument because I think it might be correct sometimes, but in so many cases people are actually behaving contrary to their real priorities when they let themselves become ugly.

[Marathonmama]

What are yours if not your husband

[Crimsyjo]

@morganherrel "All girls need to do at this point is eat less to become attractive."

OMG I can't even be bothered to say all the evidence this is total bs on so many levels 🙈😂😂😂

[Marathonmama]

@Crimsyjo he’s not wrong

[Crimsyjo]

You can be a size 6 and still not "attractive". Do you think all men think you are desirable because of your body? Maybe your face is ugly. 🙄

[morganherrel]

@Crimsyjo In the past, you would have had a valid point. But today's young women are so unattractive, especially since the body positivity movement began, that all you need to do is stop eating so much and you're already more attractive than most women. *Even if you have an ugly face*, all you have to do is stop being fat and you're suddenly very competitive in the dating market. That's how bad the pool is lol

[Crimsyjo]

@morganherrel hahaha 😄 oh dear! That sounds so terrible. For me when I'm attracted to a man his face is what I'm attracted to. He doesn't have to be 6 pack perfect or muscles. Tho yes there is a point where fat is too fat. But I'm realistic for men in age group (likely a bit of a tum). Also... I'm not flat tum or skinny thighs and plenty of men find me attractive. And no not desperate men. Men aged in their 20's lol. With perfect 6 pack hot bodies. One kept saying I'm stunning and he loved my boobs but he said my face was amazing too. 🤷‍♀️ and really no reason to lie after sex. And I've had a few guys twll me skinny women are boring or not nice to hold in bed. But that's obv cos I'm gonna attract guys that like my shape. And other types will attract guys that like their type. Just like some men love big boobs. Some hate them and like very small boobs.
And sorry I was being flippant about "ugly face".

[Marathonmama]

@Crimsyjo yes all men if not all men find me attractive because I have the body of a super model I am a 32B-24-34 I have literally identical measurements to my girl Alessandra Ambrosio who’s the most stunning women to ever live. Yea nearly ever guy would find me attractive and want to F me because I have an amazing body

[morganherrel]

@Crimsyjo thanks for sympathizing lol. I'm happy you are able to find men who appreciate you. I believe you when you say you have appeal, but maybe it also supports my theory that 20's men are looking to older women when the 20's women don't have their act together.

Yeah skinny doesn't appeal to everyone. I just think it's a very effective way for even an "ugly" girl to get more attention in today's market given the nature of the today's competition. It's a huge differentiator today, whereas it was probably more of the standard back when you were 19.

[Crimsyjo]

@morganherrel I have been shocked seeing some young teenage girls look 40 because of very overweight and unfit bodies. Women with tums not due to pregnancy. I'd like to say I'm not judging but I guess it's hard not to. I'm rather "not gonna show" judgement.

And oh dear... see... I'm not sure how authentic this asker is with the opinion above - pretty confident that all men love her and are salivitating to fuck her.. I'm pretty sure there are men that would turn down a "beautiful" women with such distasteful arrogance. Although plenty that would fuck just because. But those same men would fuck women of much less "beauty" too so I'm not sure the value she truly holds above all others? I think the word narcissist comes to mind.

[Marathonmama]

@Crimsyjo I’m a size 0

[morganherrel]

@Marathonmama I don't know I think that's hot af
i think that alone is enough to make a girl hot in today's dating pool, no matter how bad her face is (with exceptions)
and with the exception of women who change too much after pregnancy or have unique illnesses or conditions... there is really no excuse for being unable to do it...
I believe it's entirely within their control, whether they want to admit it or not

[Marathonmama]

@morganherrel exactly and you have no idea how nice and accomodating everyone is to me, male and female, because I’m a hot chick…. Girls have live so good if we’re attractive. There’s literally nothing I would need thst people won’t do for me because of my figure and my looks. I don’t say that to be stuck up in saying it because it’s true I also love looking great for my hubby. I had a little push up corset and a g string on when my husband was eating I had my tiny little Tatas all pushed up and I saw him his eyes didn’t leave my chest lol and hecstatee banging me right in the dinner table it’s awesome at 41 and 19 years of marriage being able to drive your husband crazy like this

[morganherrel]

I think it's great that you are enjoying the rewards from that, but I have to agree that you come across a bit narcissistic sometimes (just pointing that out for your sake, no judgment)

[Marathonmama]

@morganherrel where’s the narcissism?

[Crimsyjo]

Some traits of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) include:

Sense of self-importance
People with NPD have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and may expect to be treated as superior.

Need for admiration
They may require constant praise and admiration from others.

Exploitative
They may take advantage of others to get what they want without guilt or shame.

Lack of empathy
They may be unable to recognize or understand the feelings and needs of others.

Envy
They may be envious of others or believe that others are envious of them.

Arrogance
They may behave in an arrogant way, brag a lot, and come across as conceited.

Preoccupation with fantasies
They may be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty, or the perfect mate.

Control
They may have an intense need for control to maintain their facade of being perfect and superior.

Manipulation
They may use manipulation tactics such as gaslighting or love bombing to get what they want.

**you literally show every trait on this list and that's just from *knowing* you in this one post.
Which has a valid question. Just the rest of what you say is complete narcissism. But it's cool. I don't have to live with you or deal with you (as a partner of a narcissist your hubby is probably totally pussy whipped simp who feels he has to lick your feet and stare at you or face your wrath). So as interesting as this convo has been with the guys here- its pointless trying to reason with a narcissist and i will eloquently bow out now! Enjoy your life! 😄

[Marathonmama]

@Crimsyjo how do I show any of those traits? A single one of them please show me

[DrPepper12]

Ummmmm... Sex is great. I'm glad you two are screwing like rabbits. I think it's wonderful that you're both in tip top physical shape (and sexually experimental as well as with a little bit of exhibitionism 😉). In my case it was when the kids were younger it was virtually impossible without any family to support us to do anything. We were still in okay shape but now that the kids are older and don't need our help as much anymore we've both mostly gotten back into our old exercise routine.

[Finchie40]

Yea if every girl though like you did , relationships would be lasting a hell of a lot longer , probably forever lol But the truth is if we all thought the same way , this whole planet would be an orgy pretty much barely anything would get done because we all be fucking lol

[Marathonmama]

My husband goes to work we’re productive we raised our son and we still bang every night last night we had a 3 hour love making session I had 5 orgasams!!5!!! We had another 1hour + session today & 2 more orgasms

[Finchie40]

That’s awesome , I am so jealous

[Marathonmama]

Are you staying fit in good shape? Staying away from porn etc

[QuietRunner]

@Marathonmama
great sex sessions you are having

[Finchie40]

Yes I am , I am not into porn , I barely watch it , as for staying fit , I am back and fourth with it , as for relationships, I am back in the market because my last one didn’t work out , but I am hoping to find a girl just like you

[Marathonmama]

Well stick with it

[Marathonmama]

@QuietRunner yes sir

[Finchie40]

That’s what I am trying to do, stick with it lol

[NotTacocaT6969]

Not everyone lives their life with the desire to be appealing to others.


There are also hundreds of things that can cause weight gain that are beyond a persons control.


For example; How would you like it if a medication needed to save your life made you gain 200lbs that won’t go away no matter how much you diet and exercise?


Doesn’t sound like fun does it?

[Marathonmama]

You don’t live to be appealing to your husband? The men the dedicated his life to living and protecting and providing for you? What’s wrong with you?

[NotTacocaT6969]

You would marry someone who likes your looks more than your personality?

What’s wrong with you?

[Marathonmama]

I asked you why you would dedicate yourself to looking hot for your freaking husband he would lay his life on the line you won’t go through the trouble to look cute in a skimpy bikini or some sexy lingerie for him?

[BetaBucks]

There is almost nothing that causes weight gain that is beyond an adult's control. Only forced feeding under threat of violence. Everyone else makes a conscious decision to eat more than their bodies require. Yeah, some bodies require less, and health conditions impact the requirements, but consuming less than what's required, causes weight loss for 100% of all mammals in existence.

[Marathonmama]

@BetaBucks exactly just being lazy and not caring. I am 41 and still have a better body than most bikini models!! It’s because I care I want to look and feel good and keep my husband excited!

[BetaBucks]

We would be dramatically advanced as a species, with less disease, poverty, conflict and suffering, if everyone thought the way you did. Unfortunately, the world is mostly filled with gluttonous narcissists.

[Marathonmama]

@BetaBucks thank you

[Marathonmama]

@BetaBucks give me a follow we can chat if you want

[Crimsyjo]

@BetaBucks "almost nothing that causes weight gain".
Well child birth. I was skinny until after my first child. My whole shape changed. Like ribcage everything. Not all women bounce back into shape. I was mid twenties. Younger women are supposed to easier. And genetics play a part. I did after some years get much better (but never the same) and then baby no 2! A emergency cesarean that cuts all through your tummy muscles and takes months to heal. So no post birth exercising allowed.
So yeah... maybe "fat" isn't nice. But we can't all be as lucky as the asker here.

I also run, gym and care about my appearance. And adore dressing sexy and taking care of my men. But I'm never gonna be a supermodel.

[BetaBucks]

Even pregnancy requires a person to eat more to gain weight. And obviously every woman should. But it is still a willful decision. And after pregnancy, every woman can choose to eat less to lose the weight. Obviously most don't, but it's a woman's decision, either way. And not a criticism. It's a free world, and we can pick whatever weight we want.

The other things you mention are factors that affect our/your caloric needs, but in the end, the amount people consume is the deciding factor. Again, it's not a dig at anyone. It's just a reminder that this is not a factor outside of human control. With the exception I first mentioned, like forced feeding. Hopefully that's extremely rare though.

[Crimsyjo]

@BetaBucks I think a lot of people who never had weight issues think it's so easy. Just eat "normal". Don't eat too much. Eat a little less sometimes. I have a friend opposite problem too. Severely underweight. "Just eat more" seems like an easy simple thing to do. But the bod8es response (hungry/not hungry) doesn't always align with our brains knowledge of what we should do.

You are right that food is probably 95% always the cause tho. My first pregnancy I did eat a lot thinking "I'm pregnant so it's ok". But saying "just eat less" doesn't take into consideration the mental and psychological reasons for overeating or undereating. Lke depression, comfort, sadness, lonliness, stress.
The asker seems to have been lucky early on in life with a long term partner that supports her. Tho I do wonder why she feels the need to come 'brag' if everything is perfect. I wonder if her perfect life attitude to those around her has alienated other people so she is quite lonely.

[BetaBucks]

I've had weight problems and dysmorphia as far back as I can remember, so I can empathize with anyone that feels bad about their appearance. And I was given dishonest advice for the first half of my life too. I would never put anyone down for their appearance though. But I will encourage people to take ownership of it. At least in terms of health. Not aesthetics, unless they're specifically looking for that.

I actually think the asker is acting in bad faith to be honest. This reads a lot less about supporting each other and a lot more about putting others down. While I agree with the principle of self-care, I don't agree with making others feel bad about it. And I hope nothing I said made you, or anyone else, feel bad. I just want to promote the right beliefs on the topic. And I come from a family of dieticians who dedicate their lives to saving lives through diet. It's the single most important thing in Western society in my opinion. But still needs to come from a place of compassion, not malice.

[Crimsyjo]

@BetaBucks ah yes I get that. And sorry you had to deal with those issues. I grew up thinking I was fat and ugly even though I was skinny. I shake my head now looking at pictures and wondering how I ever thought I was fat then!
That's why I too agree with you... that we should all look after ourselves, fitness promotes mental health not just for looks, and also yes diet. But I've had problems with food all my life not helped by my mum hiring a "nanny" who tried force feeding me.

But anyways... it seems food and mental health are a combined thing. So many people either use food as a crutch for mental issues. And mental issues have increased enormously since the media promote images of perfection to unrealistic standards in most people. I'm not model perfect but I'm learning to feel beautiful. In my own right. And my eating habits are way better. After dieting most of my life I am happy to say I don't diet! I actually am capable of eating when I'm hungry and stopping (I do think the contraceptive hormones were contributing to overeating as I stopped them last year). I used to *have* to have chocolate every day. Now I hardly think about wanting it and if I do a small square or two is enough. I don't desire puddings after meals. I used to always "want something sweet". But if I did want something i would. I'm not perfect or happy all the time but I'm definitely in the best place mentally that I've ever been. And I hope i get a happy ever after relationship one day soon. Hopefully a man that won't try to change me as all my partners get jealous and start wanting me to dress different and undermine my self confidence.

[BetaBucks]

Well I really hope you get that relationship one day soon too. You will.

You mentioned something about chocolate that rang true to me. I stopped eating candy this January, and every time I try to eat some, occasionally, it outright makes me sick. It made me realize how much of an addiction it really is.. and once you break it, your body just doesn't want it. Or, like you, just wants a tiny bit. I used to eat multiple full bags of candy in one session. At one point I had a mini trash can in my car that was filled with bags of candy.

And I'm sorry you had to deal with those issues too. We probably both grew up being criticized constantly. It gets in our heads after a while... Then, one day, I was a bodybuilder and still staring in the mirror going "I look like shit."

[morganherrel]

That's such a niche exception that affects so few people. 40% of young women are obese in America, and most of those have no excuse that it's "outside their control."

[Marathonmama]

@morganherrel they also don’t know what to eat because they’ve been lied to for decades I wouldn’t know what to eat if it wasn’t for my hubby

[morganherrel]

@Crimsyjo Having children is such a good reason for why the female physique changes at that stage of life. I feel concerned when I see 20's women looking worse than actual mothers of children. It makes them look older and less capable of having children than they should be at that age.

[Apple1996]

Because it's not worth the effort to look good. I'd rather be ugly, fat and happy then have to try super hard just for some validation. When you die ain't nobody gonna care what you looked like. They're gonna care more about what type of person you were

[morganherrel]

Yes, the type of person who had low standards for herself and stopped trying. Who lacked the conscientiousness to make the cake and eat it too. Who lacked a decent sense of aesthetic taste independent of others' validation.

[Apple1996]

@morganherrel it's not low standards. It's being comfortable and happy with who you are. Being a try hard is never attractive

[morganherrel]

@Apple1996 Being comfortable and happy with low standards. Not putting in any effort for fear of being "try-hard". Work ethic and conscientiousness are widely seen as virtues, friend.

[Marathonmama]

So looking good is being a “try hard” my husband is in great shape too!! Is that a try hard

[Apple1996]

If y'all are happy being that way it's fine. It just personally wouldn't bring me joy

[Marathonmama]

What wouldn’t bring you joy? Being attractive to your husband and at 41 and 19 years of marriage still being able to drive him crazy sexually?

[morganherrel]

I think she means that augmenting her romantic value to her husband and quintupling his sexual attraction to her would bring no joy at all

[Apple1996]

My husband is already into me sexually without the looks part

[morganherrel]

yup, so tripling how much her husband is attracted to her would bring no joy

[SixFootSexy]

Good for you! A lot of stay at home moms feel so entitled, they don't work out or take care of themselves, much less cater to their man's needs both in and out of the bedroom. Most men would love to have a wife like you. Keep it up and tell women what they're missing by not doing this for themselves and their husbands.

[BetaBucks]

Because people are lazy and feel entitled to constant indulgence. Then get mad at the world when their bad decisions result in mildly negative experiences for them. Then, massively negative experiences when they suffer through chronic health conditions and early death. In the end, people are too impulsive to give a fuck about anything other than the easy, quick feelings.

[morganherrel]

ouch, this is more true than most people would be willing to admit

[BetaBucks]

For sure. But I also look at it now and see I was being too harsh. it's probably not helpful to make people feel worse about themselves. I should probably just do more to encourage healthier behavior.

[morganherrel]

agreed!

[Apple1996]

I am lazy and entitled but not mad at anyone about it

[BetaBucks]

That's cuz you aren't capable of anger. Just craziness lol

[ProbablyClueless]

They just decide that the effort isn't worth the reward anymore

[Marathonmama]

That’s a shame

[ProbablyClueless]

I agree. But, I think it makes sense. If you're someone who doesn't regard fitness as a functional thing, and you simply care more about aesthetics, I can see how you'd lock down your spouse and then let things go a little.

I'm not planning on being one of those

[Marathonmama]

It’s functional and aesthetic I have a body like a super model I have 32B-24-34 measurements same as my girl allesandra Ambrosio! So I look amazing but I have a ton of energy I just had a 10 mile run!! My husband is in great shape too it turns me on!! Plus he is in great shape he’s constantly aroused and as a result we had a 3 hour sex session last night. We have sex usually twice a day I’m 41 he's 42 we’ve been married 19 years and still haves 2x a day that’s a result of being in great shape

[ProbablyClueless]

Oh wow, 19 years? That's fantastic. I envy people who were able to find their person at a young age. I wasn't in the right mental state or social circle to find my spouse during college. How long were you dating before you got married?

[Marathonmama]

Year and a half then engaged for a year

[Anonymous]

For the same reason men do I'd imagine.

When you consider how SHALLOW most women amd men are today you really can't blame them to an extent. When you realize you'll never be enough regardless of what you do. why stay on the treadmill (pun intended😆).

As long as you exercise an eat right enough to Stay healthy that's all that really matters. F*** everyone's opinions outside of your doctors.

[avery58]

Because it's everyone's personal choice at the end of the day, some just don't care.

[Marathonmama]

Obviously it’s their choice I’m asking why they choose that thank you for acknowledging it’s a choice

[avery58]

The reason is because they don't care

[Marathonmama]

That’s so sad but never wanna hear them complain

[avery58]

They most likely don't

[Marathonmama]

Not my experience

[AliceGregory]

For some people, enjoying food and leisure are more important than their worth in a relationship.

[Marathonmama]

That’s horrible

[AliceGregory]

Yeah but that’s why I resolved to stay fit

[Marathonmama]

Me too! I’m a 32B-24-34 I’m 5’3 110 and I plan on staying this way for me and my hubby

[AliceGregory]

That's wonderful! Could you PM me?

[exitseven]

People get older and it is harder to stay in shape, especially after you have had a couple of kids. I workoiut hard and every year it gets harder and harder.

[HighValue]

The ones that claim they don't have enough time often spend multiple hours every day playing on their phones. They have the time, they just don't want to put in the effort.

[Bricealan]

I don't see that! I see MORE men turn into useless blobs of shit... more so than women!

[Bricealan]

P. S... I DO see some women do just what you describe... Sad.

[EnjoytheDay777]

I think it's great that you have the healthy mentality to go all out and keep yourself fit and sexy tight, wish more people did

[msc545]

People will dislike yuou for your arrogance. I already do.

[Marathonmama]

That’s your thing! Where was I arrogant?

[Alex-Snow]

It sounds like you both have a great sex life... enjoy !!!

[Anonymous]

I've never understood that, if I were a woman I'd love to feel my body looks good and guys are noticing my butt and love the attention + sex is great too

[Crimsyjo]

Most women do or would. Many think it's an unachievable standard tho with all the tv and multimedia hype on what is perfect and anything below that standard being "ugly". So many women give up.
My 13 Yr old for instance... she is super tall and skinny and people say she could be a model. She's pretty when she makes an effort. But most time hides herself in baggy scruffy clothes. I found notes in her room saying she wishes she was pretty and maybe better off dead.
Yeah we are in process of getting help.
But my point is... if a woman doesn't feel pretty on the inside she just ain't gonna believe it's pretty on the outside. And what is pretty or beautiful anyways? We all are out there to someone. Just as someone will also think your ugly.
So yes I agree women should make the most of what they got and put in effort. To be the best they can be. Regardless of anyone else's opinion. The asker is lucky she has a husband who adores her. It's easy to be confident with that support.

[Ironco]

I'm happy for you, but life will kick most of us in the ass, everyone is different.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

Love this response. 👏

[rebeliouse]

I dont know but its so dam annoying they let themselves go and then wonder why guys cheat with younger girls! @Marathonmama

[dsrice071966]

I don't think women let themselves go, I think men do more often. I try to keep fit but it is harder to do as you get older.

[eagle1951]

maybe they don't see the need to keep doing things anymore

[Marathonmama]

That’s so sad

[eagle1951]

yeah it is, but I get it , doing that myself these day

[MasterKS]

if every women thought like you do, sex would be 100 times better!

[Twalli]

It's hard work.

[Marathonmama]

But it’s worth it. I put on a little orange cami and panty set a Mets hat sat on my hubbys lap. Waited for the game to be over while he poked me 😉 after the game was over he sent our son to his room and we had a nearly 3 hour sex session he literally F’d my brains out lol it’s not easy but it’s sooooo worth it

[Danny_dan92]

They value other things

[jahaims]

Different people find value in different things

[Anonymous]

because life happens

[Marathonmama]

Sure and how do you respond to it? I know having the body of a freakin super model helps and people are so much nicer to you