How to start feeling attracted to what’s safe, healthy and right for you and not just familiar?

[Pearl222]

[aaron13547]

For me the more i don't want to do something, is the more reason to do it. What felt familiar to me at the start if adulthood was never safe and healthy. For me i had a point in my life where it was like "dude you been doing this all wrong"... I fought that for a while trying to hold onto what was "normal" to me. Then I just accepted it. What I thought was safe and healthy was not. To find what "normal" people called safe and healthy, i would have to make myself very uncomfortable to find. It felt like everything i did was wrong for a long time, trying to be "right", trying to go against what I knew... you have to trust yourself. For me, at that change point of my life I felt like there was nothing I could do worse then what I had already done, so no pressure, lol. I couldn't get worse so changing had very few cons and lots of pros. After all I knew exactly what not to do, those were the things I "wanted" to do. Thinking like That made it easy to trust myself. So think about exactly what safe and healthy would be for you, if you didn't have memories to influence how you do things. When you get that idea do everything you can to make yourself uncomfortable until you find that new idea of safe and healthy in uncomfortable things.

[Zack-Bann]

A change of scenery is usually the best medicine for that


If you have the same habits and hang around the same people you will feel the need to get involved with the same types of people


But if you widen your horizons you will start to give chances to new experiences and some of those will be a lot healthier for you.


(Some won’t be though so you need to be careful)

[AvaRay]

When u hv healed, chaos loses its charm..

U stop mistaking intensity for intimacy, n pain for passion..

Familiar doesn’t mean right, it just means unhealed n what once felt like love now looks like self betrayal..

So no, I don’t chase adrenaline anymore but I crave peace that doesn’t demand my sanity, connection that doesn’t cost my self respect..

Let others call it boring, but for me I call it alignment..

Because the woman I’ve become isn’t impressed by games, she's turned on by consistency, clarity, n calm n also that's why chaos can no longer sit at my table..

It’s simply no longer on my level..

That’s not arrogance, it's just my style.. 😎🥂

[Richardjd]

Perfect answer as always

[Nikki1989]

You need someone who is consistently courteous, respectful, and reliable. These traits signal true, long-term security.

[jahaims]

Therapy