My mom said I spoiled my beauty by putting on weight?

[Anonymous]

You think this is true? Poor me.

Updates

6 d

She said another girl was happy because I ruined my beauty by putting on weight.

But yeah she's said lots of critical things to me such as 'now your age shows,' etc.

I'm prettier than my mom. Like even when she was younger she wasn't as pretty.

Updates

6 d

Do you think my mom purposely sabotages me? I for sure know she's very jealous of me, but now I wonder if there is much more sabotage involved here than I consciously know of

[Anonymous]

No, your mom is not right. Weight change does not spoil your beauty. Beauty is not a fixed size or a single number on a scale, and your worth as a person has nothing to do with how much you weigh.

[Asker]

Sometimes I really feel my mom blames me for her pathetic life as though it's my fault she lived a bad life.

[Opinion Owner]

It hurts when a parent makes you feel responsible for their unhappiness. Please know that her life choices and feelings belong to her, not you. You are a separate person. You did not cause her pain, and you do not have to carry the weight of her past.

[Asker]

I guess her logic is that wha thappened to her was unfair so I deserve to suffer too because why should i get a good life when seh didn't that's nto very fair.

I've almost started to believe somehow I deserve to live a bad life because it's not fair that she ahd a bad life

[Opinion Owner]

That thought is a trauma trap. You do not deserve to suffer just because someone else had a hard life. Pain is not a pie where taking a piece away from someone else means you have to eat a piece yourself. Your life is your own.

[Asker]

But I feel responsible for her jealousy.

As though why did she suffer in her life when some of her suffering was not her fault but my father's.

So it feels like life was unfair to her and it probably pained her when things were good for me to see that so somehow I deserve to suffer to make her feel less bad

[Opinion Owner]

This feeling comes from deep love and empathy, but it is a false guilt. You did not cause your father's actions, and your own happiness does not take anything away from her. Get therapy

[AngryCarl3]

Your Mom sounds like a nut, to be fair. I don't know how much you weigh, so I can't say whether she even has a valid point.

[EmmaMary]

What an absolutely adorable mother you have! smh

[Asker]

She also says things like 'you have one thing beauty don't spoil that too' when I was very depressed and would often cry

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[Nikki1989]

Your mother sounds like a real ass. Ignore her.

[RachyRach]

Your mom sounds like a bitch tbh.

[Asker]

She said another girl was happy because I ruined my beauty by putting on weight.

[RachyRach]

If she wasn't as pretty as you then sounds like your mom is jealous of you.

[Asker]

Yeah she shows many signs of being jealous of me.

I think her jealousy even confuses her like she's a mom why is she jealous.

[RachyRach]

If anything your mom is lucky you're still a part of her life. If it were me she'd be cut off completely

[Asker]

Can I tell you a secret?

She was away recently. I didn't say bye to her before she left. She would email/message me initially.

I didn't respond.

THe emails stopped so did the messages

Then she is so manipulative she knew she is returning so she sends me this email I miss you thsi is my flight time.

No response from me.

I knew she sent the email because now she needs me

[RachyRach]

Yeah I'd cut her off if I were you. No communication at all.