Mom making jokes on my weight even though she's very over weight?

[Lalalove11]

I don't know how to respond. This morning my jeans were tight (just been washed) she said that's all the chocolate you're eating! (I got chocolate from my students and she's been persistently asking for it)

Then I said you're enjoying dinner! (It was a genuine observation, the dinner was tasty) She then had a knee jerk reaction and said YOU'RE enjoying dinner!!

Double standards?

I'm about 5'3'' and 59kg.

[SteveSmith1985]

Wow, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. This isn't just a double standard situation going on here. I don't know anything about your mom, or what kind of relationship you have with her. But it's not just a double standard. Your mother is making these comments, knowing exactly what nerve they're going to hit for you. Especially if she's a woman who has struggled with her weight herself.

So it makes me wonder... why would your mother be wanting to make hurtful comments about your appearance? Is it tough love? Is it well meant? Is it something done out of... anything good? I have trouble seeing how it could be.

I am taking a guess here. Meaning I could be completely wrong. But the first thing this makes me think of is: insecurity.

Is it possible that straight-up petty jelousy, and catty, bitchy comments? In a very normal way... if it weren't coming from your mother? Couldn't it literally be the fact that you (I am going to guess) look more-or-less like she did... when she was young and better-looking? Couldn't she just be... lashing out at you in a way that's inappropriate for a mother... but isn't all that unusual as far as petty jelousy is concerned? Again, that could be totally off the mark. Way wrong.

[slatyb]

How to respond? Are you living at home? Maybe move out so you can control your time with her? If you have your own place, then tell her that you don't need her opinion. If she persists, just get up and leave.

[RageBabe]

She is insensitive and hypocritical; you may want to distance yourself from her.

[RageBabe]

@Lalalove11 Thank you for the MHO!

[nl171]

I had a similar situation. It’s probably her projecting her insecurities

[Lalalove11]

Yes.. it's not a nice situation. How did you deal with it

[nl171]

I just brushed it off and eventually lost weight. I’ve learned to keep my expectations of my parents in check as well

[Lalalove11]

Thing is I'm normal weight my mom is very over weight. But yes I can't even have expectations of her

[nl171]

Yeah I mean based on the measurements you have you are quite petite

[bowenw]

I suggest ignoring her and moving out on your own.

[TheSpaceGnome]

That doesn't seem like making fun, just pointing out how people get fat.

[eagle1951]

wow that's mean

[Lalalove11]

I don't know what to say to her

[Jeff51]

she's insecure about herself.

[TallAnon]

Why not, keep things light hearted

[MasterKS]

I dont know why some mom act such asshole!!