Do you think I can get back what I lost?

[Anonymous]

Lost almost my entire 20s due to trauma.

I literally got only 2 years of my 20s the rest were spent with complex ptsd in absolute hell.

I don’t know how I survived it.

30s the complex ptsd is lessening but the grief of how much I’ve lost and the regret (even though it’s not my fault I developed such a horrific condition), is eating at me every day.

I know that I was nothing but a living dead person with the complex ptsd. Nothing in my future is ever going to be as bad.

but I feel old. I realized I lived just as much of my life traumatized as I did not traumatized which is depressing. I feel I’ve never gotten to be young and carefree.

so I feel like I’m in this old persons body and not even sure what to do. It reminds me of that saying youth once lost never returns.

so it feels like no matter what I do will never get back an entire life chapter of my youth that was spent in complete hell.

[7Phoenix7]

I think you should find a therapist that you trust and work through your trauma. It’s worth it…

and yes you can absolutely get back what you feel you lost …and so much more.

[Asker]

I find a lot of them are not trauma informed and some have even retraumatized me.

When I read about this on CPTSD forums I realize this is a pretty common sentiment for people diagnosed with CPTSD that some of their therapists have retraumatized them.

I do feel though I should try to find a really good trauma informed therapist it won’t be easy but I shouldn’t let my horrible experiences with therapy stop me from getting help

[Agape93]

Nope but doesn't mean you can't try

[Asker]

Wow you’re terrible

[Agape93]

Maybe, but I know what its like having cptsd, and im showing you enough respect to be honest with you.

[Asker]

Life is nothing without hope. If I say my youth has lost I literally have no reason to live

[Agape93]

Lemme ask you something. If you have a beautiful, delicious cake and some asshole grabs a third of it with his hands and eats it, would you throw the rest away because the part he ate is gone?

[Asker]

But I want to be young and carefree I just don’t know how as I’m no longer young I’m old I feel trapped in an old body

[Agape93]

You're my age, you ain't old. You gotta get outside and find shit you enjoy doing

[Asker]

Im old. I lost my entire 20s. Think of what that would be like

[Agape93]

I did. I spent my entire childhood stuck with a family who forced me to be around a pedophile who tried to molest and rape me. Then I spent my 20s fluctuating between trying to recover from sexual violence and suicide attempts.

[Agape93]

Nothing to say now?