Can loneliness make someone become a person they never wanted to be?

[Veronika_p]

Sometimes, people don't become cold because that's who they are. Maybe they've been rejected too many times, disappointed by people they trusted, or made to feel like they're never good enough. After a while, they stop opening up. They become distant, stop reaching out, and eventually convince themselves that they don't need anybody 💔

But I wonder what happens inside them during that process. Does the pain eventually turn into anger? Does being constantly overlooked make someone start resenting people who seem to have everything they wish they had? Can someone who once wanted love and connection eventually become bitter toward the very things they used to dream about?

I also think about people who desperately want friendships or relationships but have experienced so much rejection that they begin pushing everyone away before anyone gets the chance to hurt them again. They want to be understood, yet struggle to let anyone get close. It's almost like they protect themselves from loneliness by creating even more distance😔😕

Of course, loneliness doesn't affect everyone the same way, and being lonely doesn't automatically make someone bitter or unkind. Some people become more compassionate because they know what it feels like to be forgotten. Others struggle with resentment, sadness, or losing trust in people.


Can loneliness slowly change someone's personality, or does it simply reveal feelings they've been hiding all along?

Have you ever watched someone change after years of rejection or isolation? And if you've ever felt yourself becoming colder or more withdrawn because of loneliness, were you able to find your way back to the person you used to be?

[sage2021]

For me it's different because even though I live alone, and have been alone for most of my life, I actually enjoy my own company.🙂 So I am not sad about it, or the major hurts that I have had to live through. I could be a bitter woman for all of the hurtful things that I have had to endure, but I refuse to be that way, or let those hurts change the core of who I am, and change who was born to be. No one can take that away from a person without their permission.

I've been told that I look younger than I am because I don't drag all of my life's hurts along with me. I have taught myself how to put it into perspective instead.

I am the only person in charge of my life and what I do with my life is up to me. I chose to teach myself how to remain kind and generous with people, no matter what I have been through.

I read a lot of self help books when I was 37 years old and reexamining my life. My family and coworkers and friends could see a major difference in me after about 3 months. They all thought that I was in therapy but I wasn't. I did go to a 12-step program for adult children of alcoholics even though alcohol was not my problem or my family's problem. But the Program hit on the way that I grew up and I understood things in a different way for the first time in my life. I went to the Program every week for 2-1/2 years. It was worth all of the work I needed to do.🙂

[ohsheeT]

I can see how this could happen and I pay attention to the people on here their questions their answers and I think there's a couple people that are going through this right now

I'm the type of person that if I feel any of the above coming on I will make it a point to not allow it to happen because I'm one of these people that I need I want that relationship to explore to expand to become

I kind of have unfinished business there are things that I have learned that I have to complete the class LOL I have to experience it to the fullest

But at the same time I had to put myself on hold just because of what I went through for the last past few years and I'm finally starting to snap out of it and there's moments in time where I say it's time do it right now go but then I back off a little bit because I know that I'm not 100% ready to be me I'm there but I'm not there and I know within any day it will click I will click and everything will click

But your question is a very good question because I'm watching or reading questions that are applying to the same thing and I feel bad for them because they won't snap out of it and you can't make anybody do anything you can only try to help but I think they've been stuck for so long you're 100% right

There's just no way in the world that I would allow myself to do that because there's too many important things in life that I need to experience and complete

I know for me the day that I start flirting are the day that somebody starts flirting with me it's going to click and I won't be able to shut up LOL

But if somebody Feels lonely they got to slap out of it Because that's not who they were meant to be

[Rorroto]

Also I know is that it hinders social skills. You lose practice and forget skills and also the lonelier you get the more clingy you tend to get toward strangers (which is probably irritating to the strangers) so that's an instinct you have to learn to suppress.

[Veronika_p]

💯 true 🥺

[Interstate]

Yes and I am in that boat. My life is nothing but loneliness and depression from loneliness of single life. I expected to be married by now, but the pos God is, he is confining me in a life of feeling miserable because of loneliness. And no matter what I do to change it and make it better, God has to interfere, leaving me to feel miserable 24/7. Needless to say I walked out on the Roman Catholic "church" last year. I spent 10.5 years as an usher and 6 as a Eucharistic minister in the church I grew up in, active in my prayer group for 10 years, yearly youth retreats as well as charismatic conferences every year for 6 years. And a miserable life is how he says thank you? The hell with him.

[capriVib]

Depends on the person. I don't think it affects someone that much if they've been alone most of their life. But if they've been rejected a lot, they might start rejecting people before they get rejected themselves. That can turn them into someone they never wanted to be, like a cold, mean, or even cruel person.

And yeah, after a breakup, people often tell themselves they don't need anyone anyway, just to feel better about it.

[Veronika_p]

I agree with you

[Melody90]

Absolutely. Loneliness can make people settle for things they once swore they never would, tolerate treatment they don't deserve, and seek validation from people who don't genuinely care about them. Sometimes, the need to feel loved becomes so overwhelming that people slowly lose sight of who they are. That's why it's so important to remember that being alone is not worse than losing yourself trying to feel wanted.

[Nik1hil]

Yes.

Been There Done that 😔✅

so Yes, Loneliness can do that!

[Nikki1989]

Absolutely. Loneliness can profoundly shift who we are. It is like a cancer; if you don't address it, it will only get worse.

[msc545]

Rejection and betrayal are so painful that the natural and adaptive response is to avoid them and sometimes avoiding them means that you don't have any contact with others.

[exitseven]

Loneliness and rejection gave me the hard edge that I have today.

[Iron_Man]

it can make you starve for somebody’s attention and big-time humble you and make you soft and kiss someones ass

[Badtobad]

Absolutely yes

[Catguy92]

It can definitely hurt deeply

[eagle1951]

sometimes it can

[Paige2006]

Yes! Loneliness = depression

[LotharioENERZY]

possible.