How can you overcome loneliness?

Question

no202920022 · Accepted Answer

For most of my life I struggled with loneliness. In my school you were either in the “in” crowd, were rich, or knew somebody (like were related to the staff or something). If you weren’t, you weren’t cared about and were a nobody. My friends were always bad influences for me. I ended up losing all of them except for my best friend. Even with my favorite person who is my best friend I still was so lonely. I would cry day in and out and always just say things to my mom like “I just wish people liked me” and “I just want to have friends like everyone else”. I feel like my loneliest year was 2021. I was pretty lonely this year, and then I decided to get my first job in July just for some extra cash. I failed to mention I was also a very shy, low self-esteem teen. My mom kept telling me I would make friends at work and I thought she was wrong. Turns out there are quite a few people around my age, and we all (but one guy because he’s moody and rude to everyone) get along very well. One of my friends always tells me she doesn’t want me to leave work because she’ll be alone without me. She also is always happy to work together. My other friends joke around and mess with me. We are always laughing. We have inside jokes too. In fact, one of my closest work friends came in to get milk or something yesterday and came to my work area and chatted with me for about an hour while I worked on my stuff. She just wanted to chat and hang with me a bit. They often call me by my name when speaking to me (some people won’t care about this but I do.) Example is: “bye *my name*” which just makes me feel included and seen. So my advice is to get a job with people your age.

CubsterShura · Accepted Answer

A lot of people say just go out, put yourself out there. I'm someone who puts herself out there a lot but in reality I'm lonely even in the middle of a bunch of people because I can't keep up with them and can't connect with anyone. So I could join all the big groups out there but reality is that I'll feel lonely anyway.

What really helped me was trying to spend more time with each friend individually, so if I get along with someone and want to be good friends with them then hanging out with them alone, making plans with them, having deep conversations with them, that is how I slowly built a small but very supportive group of friends!

But don't underestimate parties or big social events, they are great to MEET new people. But then if you want to be closer friends with the people you meet don't just see them in group events (parties, group hikes etc), spend a significant amount of time with them individually.

My ideal ratio is going to big social gatherings once every few weeks to see all the acquaintances at once and meet new people, and spending majority of time with people I'm already friends with.

And reach out to them when you need help! Or even if you just want them to listen to what you are going through. This is really hard for me but I'm so glad that I did because I actually got help in need. I was really sick and I don't have a car, but a good friend gave me a ride on his car he took me to the hospital and back, and also gave me a ride to the pharmacy to get some medicines. Usually I'm suffering alone and if I did that this time I'd be fucked because I was that unwell.

Telekinetic-Potato · Accepted Answer

You'll never get friends if you make that your main goal in life. It's a rule of life, same with dating.

Any kind of relationship is based on some form of connection. An understanding or perspective about the world that you share. It could be a love of cars or an ideology that underlies the support you have for specific public figures, music.

We become connected to people when we look at them and feel like there's something there we can understand and have empathy for.

The problem is if you spend all your time trying to beat your loneliness, you focus so much on your negative feelings that you become empty. Which is draining for other people.

The most outgoing people you see who spend time around many people, they are usually opinionated, busy etc. Not the type of person you would consider empty.

I think the best way to beat your loneliness is to sit in your room by yourself for a few days (or do this before you go to bed) and really ask yourself: what are the things that make me happy and what do they all have in common?

Everybody has one that's a little different but once you figure this out, you'll have a better idea what direction to take your lifestyle in.

And when you're living your life for yourself. Not being selfish, but you're genuinely loving and caring for yourself. That's when people will see you. And the right ones will gravitate towards you.

Sonorous · Accepted Answer

It really depends on what's making you feel lonely.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

What kind, because you can be surrounded by friends and family and still be lonely, or you may not be around people and feel lonely.

If you are all alone, go out and try to find people to talk to or make friends online at least, one never knows what will happen from there.

If alone around people in person, not sure on that cause I haven't figured that out yet.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I believe loneliness goes away when you are kind to others and have realistic expectations about your friendships meaning you recognize that all people have flaws and no friendship is going to be perfectly comfortable or satisfactory. Lonely people often have unrealistic expectations and over value friendships, not recognizing that quality is not as common as quantity.

BlueScorpio · Answer

I didn't grow up being surrounded by whole bunch of people or friends, I had some friends but I wasn't very well known or popular. High-school was the time where I talked to some people but didn't hang out with anyone after school much. So you get use to it, plus as an introvert it helps with not always feeling lonely.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

By mot going anon.
By reaching out to others who needs support.

by talking to people here…call them up, say hi.
by getting out of the house.
by stop using social media.
by not looking at what other propel have/do.
by doing things that make you feel love. by caring for yourself internal soul…

by not asking what others do…but do it yourself.
the world need you!!

Haha456 · Answer

As a lonely girl, I can tell you that when someone says they are lonely. It is due to the fact they don't reach out much to people in the world. Find every reason to talk to others. If you see a neighbor you recognize, say hi. If they are friendly, they usually are going to respond with a "how are you?". Small talk with them. Out of every 100 people that you small talk with, 1-5 people will end up being your friend.

aaron210419 · Answer

Don't dwell on being lonely, keep your mind occupied, and have a couple of good friends around. Then embrace it, don't think of it as being lonely, think of it as being free. Free to set your own schedule, free from answering to anyone but yourself, and free from heartbreak and manipulation. Take time to find yourself and remember who you are as a person, but don't close your heart off completely so when the right person comes around you won't miss it.

Daniela1982 · Answer

It is not easy as you can have a lot of friends, yet still be lonely. I guess counseling would be in order.

blackgaletiger · Answer

Sometimes the only way to overcome loneliness is to find your escape. Something that you can invest in and commit to. Online stuff is one whether it be certain groups that cater to your needs

SeriouslyFunny00 · Answer

By reading books, working out, billiards, dancing (I currently dance to Rihanna's music haha), listening to music or podcast, making a drink, cooking, or walking around.

CA4444 · Answer

I feel lonely too sometimes, it’s part of life. Focus on yourself and your purpose and hopefully your will find nice people along the way, or nice people find you :)

Jakey29 · Answer

Personally the most classic way is to try having short conversations with everyday people. Make sure though, it doesn't come off as flirting. As a guy, I often ask other guys, how do they stay fit etc. You could perhaps start with talking to ladies like that. A bit of admiring what they are, people are hungry to feel admired, but let it be genuine. All the best 🙂

chicosuave · Answer

Try and get as many followers on instagram and you will feel less lonely

OddBeMe · Answer

Confidence. I’d recommend clubs like toastmasters that gets you comfortable talking to strangers. Perhaps it’s basic depression issues instead of lonliness and you just think you should have more friends.

Midgetmcwidget · Answer

Get a dog, they leave you alone or give you the chance to be lonely

lilyanony1 · Answer

Socialise and have fun with new people, get new hobbies. Reach out to people you know.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

I always say you are never lonely if you have imaginary friends.

itsalyssaagain · Answer

Become your own best friend.  Develop hobbies.  Find solace in your family (if you can. Even if it’s just one person).  God.

MCheetah · Answer

Masturbation. ... Unless you're entitled.

dustybiker · Answer

Commit to a new hobby. Something you’ve wanted to try but haven’t yet.

pers0n · Answer

It depends, there are different definitions of loneliness.

Naiomiiiii · Answer

I was living alone and sometimes I felt lonely and I tried to do things that involved people I read books, played thought about anything and everything and I listened to podcasts, I went for walks but that made me feel lonelier

Sisters_Of_Time · Answer

Alters! Or well try to meet new people! The first step is scary but it's better than staying where you at now!

Anonymous · Answer

Go help other people. There are a gazillion people who need help with something, and a gazillion other lonely people also.

Blackmoonsns · Answer

Love yourself be there for yourself get hobbies find interesting people to spend time with.

es20490446e · Answer

By going to places where there is... people.

Still-alive · Answer

Just focus on your hobbies works best for me.

AmeerX · Answer

By finding a penfriend to talk to. Or if you are rich then go find your true love 👍

Anonymous · Answer

Good question

TallAnon · Answer

It sounds obvious, but the real answer is; To get out of your comfort zone and to be around people.

Anonymous · Answer

I can tell you how, but will you actually do it? Probably not.

Gabriel-Chicanito · Answer

Smxs, you're better off byyourself, than w/some people. And smxs, rent u a hoe.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

If you live alone, try getting a roommate or a boyfriend. Maybe a dog will help too.

trina_x · Answer

i can never but i try to

Blackcupcake · Answer

you learn to enjoy spending time with yourself

Tina19 · Answer

Get a pet for yourself

TheFlak38 · Answer

women are lonely by choice

CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS · Answer

You can message me if you want

PainusNdeeAnus · Answer

You can’t overcome it  You endure it

Ryfyle · Answer

Pure hatred for the world at large.

Jack0ff779 · Answer

Better to be alone then hurt by anyone

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

I'm extremely lonely

Anonymous · Answer

Travel the world

Hotboy_booblover · Answer

I suck boobs..

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