When will I have lost enough weight to finally feel good about myself?

[Anonymous]

This is a question for all girls struggling with weight-loss or who have lost a considerable amount of weight.

I have been steadily losing weight for the past 2 years. I have lost about 11lbs. I currently weigh 135lbs and have a BMI of 23. I find myself constantly questioning my progress and undermining my self-image. When will this stop? When will I have lost enough weight to finally feel good about myself?

Updates

+1 y

I am not asking for a validation of my weight. I am asking for methods on creating a better self image and self-acceptance, preferably from someone who has experience in the subject.

[Shygirl901]

I have the same issue... I have always been overweight and told by family that I was overweight (by parents mostly, but sometimes by siblings as well). So needless to say, my self image sucks.

Well in the past year I have lost almost 45 pounds. Because I was tired of being told I was fat and that I needed to lose weight. Now they are worried that I am giving myself an eating disorder.

I can't say that I will ever be actually happy or content with the way I look but I do feel much better about the way I look now.I have accepted that I naturally have a rounder shape than others, that even if I weighed 100 pounds I would still have a round face. I really had to look at myself and find something that I like about me. What on my body did I like? I liked my shoulders... so I found confidence when showing of my shoulders. I focused on my shoulders and did not focus on how chubby my legs,butt, and belly looked or how much work I still had to do to get myself to a place where I truly like the way I looked.

It takes a long time to build confidence again after it has been destroyed by yourself or others. I am constantly having to think before I speak about myself to keep from being negative about myself all the time. And others have had to stop me from being negative about myself too. It is something you have to work on every day.

[madmisskelly]

First of all, throw out the BMI thing. They don't at all take into account your frame size or muscle mass.

If you feel at all concerned, go to a dietitian. They will give you a better idea of what you should be aiming for so you have more of a goal.

I can completely identify. I was a chubby teen, and I have always struggled with weight. I'm about 130/135 and 5'1 which is normal for my frame size and muscle mass.

I have always struggled with what I see in the mirror. I almost always see myself as bigger than what I am, I always see myself as a work in progress and that I always have some weight to lose. I always say that I'd like to lose 10 pounds, which almost always gets a response of "dont! You'll look anorexic!" which I can never understand.

You've gotta switch that around. Instead of making weight loss the goal, make toning the goal. Keep up going to the gym, toning, weight lifting, trying new cardio exercises. Working out really changes things, and you view your body in a much different way.

[Anonymous]

To create a better self image, just take a "before" picture of yourself. Compare yourself to that image in 1 month, 6 months, and a year. Results speak for themselves.

The BMI metric is absolute rubbish. It doesn't take into account your body composition, only the total mass.

The more accurate way to keep track of your progress is to measure body fat % and the corresponding lean body % mass. If you lose weight, the scale in the bathroom won't be able to tell you if that weight was fat or lean muscle.

[evette]

Great I am proud of you! You should not allow weight lost or gain determine weather you feel good about yourself or not. It starts with you, like your self for who you are inside no one is going to like love and appreciate you better than you. Don't get me wrong know, keep losing the weight and yes that make you feel good but don't base you total happiness on weight lost.

[Anonymous]

Why are you asking us?

My diagnosis is that you need to stop looking to others for external validation.

[Opinion Owner]

That's my point ... You need to stop looking for external validation in order to have a better self image. There will always be someone "better" out in the world, or even people who simply prefer different options, like vanilla vs. chocolate. That's why its impossible to base your self esteem off of what others think. Only YOU can figure out what makes you feel internally good about yourself. It's usually a value, rather than an achievement too.

[Asker]

I am not one of the pretentious little girls on the site asking "Who you date me if I have a big ass?" or "What do you think about my body?". I have a real problem that I have dealt with most of my life and all I'm asking is for someone with a little insight into the problem to give me advice on how to further my progress. I did not ask to get judged by someone who doesn't even have the decency to answer a question in their own name.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't even think you understand what I'm saying! I'm not judging you .. I'm trying to explain that finding self esteem through inner values is the only way for "enough to be enough." I'm not trying to insinuate that you want me to say "Oh, your weight is fine." I'm trying to say that when we measure our self worth by external goals (getting to a certain weight, acheiving a specific salary, landing a certain relationship) ... we will always feel like we can be "better."

[Anonymous]

I agree with the below answer.