What double standard annoys you the most?

[KryHeart]

For instance, I absolutely hate it when guys say something to the effect of, "I hate it when girls order salad" or "I like a girl who will eat anything I will eat" or something like that. This sort of diet usually includes high-fat foods like pizza, burgers, fast food, etc.

BUT THEN, these same guys complain about girls who gain weight, "let themselves go", have muffin tops, thighs touch, etc. I know this doesn't apply to all guys, but not every girl in the world can pig out on junk food and just jog it all off. Some of us need to diet and hearing "You're so skinny; why are you worrying about it?!?" is infuriating because if I didn't diet, I'd either be working out for two hours a day or I'd be huge. -__-

So. What double standard pisses you off?

Updates

+1 y

Yeah, I'm aware my example isn't quite a "double standard", but I wouldn't really know what else to call it. :/

[Malcom_Reynolds]

Nearly all of them. Not all of these directly affect me, but still annoys me.

-All guys love to drink (especially beer)

-Guys have terrible handwriting

-Guys can sleep around but any girl who who does this is a slut. (Yes ladies I recognize this)

-Guys are only about looks and girls are only about personality

-Only guys cheat

-Girls are cleaner than guys

-Damn near anytime the phrase "Be a man" is used.

-The counter to that phrase "Ya but I'm a girl" is equally bad.

-"You have no idea what it's like for a girl," while technically true in real context is usually either not applicable or relevant to the situation.

-Girls are allowed to cry.

-Gender roles in relationships

-Girls are allowed to enjoy action movies, but guys can't enjoy chick flicks

-Guys a girl meets in a bar are just trying to sleep with her

-Different physical entrance requirements for the military.

-A guy talking down to a woman is a misogynist, a girl talking down to a guy is an independent woman.

-Guys pay for the first date

-Guys confidence requirement

-A guy who makes less money than his partner is a trophy.

-A guy who loses any sport to a girl is a pansy.

-A guy submissive to a girl is whipped, a girl submissive to a guy doesn't attract attention.

-Girls can't walk around without a shirt on. (This isn't about me wanting to see more boobs, this is about the fact that despite man's fascination with them, they are not sex organs. Breast feeding in public still causes a stir. Why?)

These are just off the top of my head. But given my philosophies on equality, nearly all of them, even if they benefit me, annoy me.

PS. The reason why most of the expectations that girls are apparently supposed to meet I didn't include is because I don't enforce them and while I'm sure are prevalent, I don't see them as much so I'm not as aware of them.

[KryHeart]

I think these are mostly just stereotypes. I personally don't have a problem with gender roles. I think they're great as family builders, but I think you should have the choice of which one you'd like to play. Boobs are an object of sexuality, as they represent fertility. In North Carolina, it's legal for girls to walk around topless, but no one does it because it's not socially acceptable.

[Malcom_Reynolds]

Stereotypes can create and perpetuate double standards.

I'm not talking about whether or not they can legally, I'm saying whether or not it's socially acceptable.

An object of sexuality and a sex organ are not the same thing.

[KryHeart]

Well, you said "why do breasts cause such a stir"? I'm saying, because they're sexual objects, haha.

[Malcom_Reynolds]

Actually I said breast feeding does.

But that's beside the point, the point is that while something might be considered by many a sexual object, that doesn't mean that they should be taboo and viewing it should not cause a stir. Just about anything can be made into an object of sexuality, arguments about numerous female articles of clothing (mostly swimwear) being too sexually suggestive. I think the conservative views on these matters are a little archaic, and again it's not equal rights.

[KryHeart]

Yes, it's "equal rights". Our government is doing nothing to take away a woman's right to walk around without a shirt. As I said, it's legal in North Carolina. And by god, if it's legal here, then it has to be legal most everywhere else. I'm not sure what the point you're trying to make is. Girls are allowed to dress sexually, as are men. You may receive negative reactions for it, but lots of people receive negative reactions for dressing too conservatively too. That's life.

[OpenClose]

I get what you're saying, that IS a frustrating double-bind, you know? The problem is that we, as a culture, consume way too much in the first place. Our meal sizes have basically quadrupled in the past 50 years or so. If anything, he might be eating too much, though criticizing him for it will accomplish nothing. But there's no reason to criticize someone for eating too little.

What's my least favorite double-standard?

Basically, if a man rejects a girl who doesn't meet his standards:

-He's a jerk, has unrealistic standards, and should accept her exactly as she is. He should take whatever he can get.

If men don't meet women's standards:

-He's not a "real man". "Real men" are dead. He needs to "man up". And there's NOTHING wrong with her expectations.

Here's another one: The common slut/stud, with a twist.

If a man sleeps around:

-He get a sort of admiration for "earning the divine presence of a woman." (Not actual admiration, more like resentment an jealously.)

If a woman sleeps around:

-She's a "slut" for having low standards. She's obviously desperate if she gives in to her sexual desires, and "settles for the likes of a man."

It's just so damned sexist in both directions. The only reason I think it persists is because of the previous double-standard: It's considered an achievement to meet a woman's standards, and if a guy expects anything more than a vagina, he's a jerk. So male attention is "something you just get" and so having sex, as a woman, is seen more as "giving in" to something that's basically given.

These are unhealthy ways of looking at things and they need to change. Not just one or the other, but BOTH and ALL, because they all depend on each other.

[Anonymous]

This isn't guys vs girls, but one double standard that your example reminded me of is when people say to naturally skinny girls, "Wow you can just eat whatever you want and not gain weight? That's so cool" but if the girl is fat, it's like, "OMFG WHAT ABOUT YOUR HEALTH?" It's VERY rare that someone will judge a skinny girl for eating junk food, but as soon as a bigger girl does, it's suddenly an issue :P

But about gender, the one that annoys me the most... it's not really annoyed, it's more like frustrated and sad. My boyfriend can walk down the campus sidewalk at night and not be the tiniest bit afraid. I try NOT to be paranoid about sexual assault but I can't help it. I'm aware that fear depends on the individual as well, but I don't know any guy who immediately thinks "oh god, this is my rape" if he's alone with a stranger.

[KryHeart]

Oh my gosh, I never would have thought about the second one, but you're so right. o.o I live in a kind of sketchy place right now, and I would never go off my college campus (or even half a mile away from my dorm) by myself at night. But guys do it all the time. -__-

Annnnd, I get the junk food thing. I never thought about it like that before, but skinny doesn't equal healthy. :/

[DutchAtheist]

I have to interject something here. My ex had anorexia and it was complete torture for the both of us. Whereas fat people are generally looked upon as normal and 'fun', skinny people get looked at like they are looking for attention. Plus, people blamed me for her condition. I guess it is like all these things: two sides of the story.

[KryHeart]

Oh, trust me, I completely get that. It's so sad. I think nowadays, it's more socially acceptable to make fun of someone for being very skinny than it is to make fun of someone for being fat. If you pick on a chubby kid, you're being a "bully" but everyone is willing to say, "Oh she's too skinny" or "You don't want to look like that stick." I'm neither extreme, but I've witnessed both and I hate it. You're right. Two sides of the story. :/ Society just sucks.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah it's just more of the same old "body hierarchy" bullsh*t, but reversed.

I will add that I don't think fat people are generally looked upon as "normal and fun," a lot of people assume they have a plethora of problems like binging, emotional eating, laziness, chronic insecurity, even low intelligence. It's similar to the "skinny = attention whore" thing in the sense that they're just pulling assumptions about who you are out of their ass.

[OpenClose]

"My boyfriend can walk down the campus sidewalk at night and not be the tiniest bit afraid."

1. Over 90% of sexual assault happens in the bedroom with people you know.

2. 71% of murders and 80% of general assaults are against men. Most of which DO happen in the open.

If you were to go by statistics, he has much more of a reason to be afraid. The fact that you are more fearful than him is because you're taught to be, and he's taught that if he can't defend himself, he's "less than a man.

[OpenClose]

This isn't to illegitimate your fear. But it's to debunk the myth that guys have no reason to be afraid while walking around, but that women do.

[OpenClose]

Rape Myth #1 here:

link

[Opinion Owner]

I already know this. I suppose I could have gone on to elaborate that I'm paranoid about guys I know as well, but guys tend to get pretty pissed about that and I'm tired of arguing about freakin' rape.

[caligirl3]

i think the fact that if guys sleeps around they are studs or the man, and other guys want to have that guys charm and ability to talk a girls gstrings off, but if a girl would kiss two guys the same night she is a whore, slut, skank ect.

And I also hate when people judges other, I think its a double standard cause if you aren't perfect (which no one of us is) then you can't judge and then go so far as to bully them and then at the same time they can't handle to hear what others thing of them.

[DutchAtheist]

It bugs me that it is generally accepted that 'men are pigs/a**holes/afraid of commitment'. Because to my experience, there are a lot more women/girls that cheat or suddenly end the relationship than men. I've seen friends, left absolutely devastated by a break up, whereas to girls generally cry for two days and then quickly move on to the next guy like nothing happened. Let's just assume that both sexes can be real a**holes, okay?

[KryHeart]

Well said, and I must say, I agree completely. Modern times have left both genders on a more level playing field, so bad behavior nowadays should just be bad behavior. Regardless of who commits it.

[MikeK]

BEST ANSWER!

Girls ALWAYS cheat or leave... and the fact they're so nonchalant about it is FRIGHTENING!

[KryHeart]

Always is an exaggeration. I know plenty of girls who have never cheated, myself being one of them.

[DutchAtheist]

To be fair he did say "OR leave".

[KryHeart]

Well, that's kind of a 50-50 chance isn't it? Especially the couples that are constantly on-off.

[TheUglyOne]

I agree with your example as being lame for other guys to say. I eat salads, and I mean salads, no cheese, no dressings, just raw leafy vegetables. People mock me, then they wonder how I "stay so fit" lol

[KryHeart]

That's my kind of salad! Haha, I think it's hilarious when girls are like, "Oh, I'll be healthy and eat a salad...oh, wait, can't forget a gallon of ranch." But I totally understand.

[MikeK]

The fact that women practically don't have to do anything and are applauded just for having a snatch...

I could go on with over 100+ double standards that favor women over men but if I had to pick the #1, it would be...?

Girl power sh*t -

If a man fights a woman and wins, he's deemed as a creep or a woman batterer.

If a man fights a woman and loses, he's deemed a p**** and is looked at as such.

No matter what, the man loses.

[KryHeart]

I'm going to have to say...that a man probably shouldn't be fighting a woman anyway.

So yeah. He's gonna lose. :/

[MikeK]

Meh... I kinda agree too, but you always get that one girl who wants to prove "she's just as good as a man"... smh

[KryHeart]

I hate those kind of girls. -__- We are not biologically built the same. Men and women are not equals. Neither of us are better or worse than the other, but we are not biologically engineered to perform the same tasks in society. Such as men being infinitely larger.

[MikeK]

See, you understand that :)

and this is why men should be appreciated a little bit more than women

I've said it a million times before - MEN protect women, Women DO NOT protect men

[KryHeart]

Hahaha, ummmmm, I don't think men should be appreciated more than woman.

We have your offspring, fool. Don't be ungrateful. :P

We're not equal, but the roles we play are of equal importance. Men are built to do manual labor and women are here to nurture our young and make sure the species keeps on going. Both are equally important, sir.

[MikeK]

Fair enough... :)

If only you knew me... you'd know that's a big leap of faith for me! You should be proud - you've convinced me :)

[KryHeart]

Haha, well, I'm honored. :)

[tikitaki123]

a lot of the time girls complain about how guys are too much into looks and whatnot but then we (myself included) will brush a guy off super quickly if we don't find him physically attractive right off the bat.

[MikeK]

Very good answer

[Anonymous]

Girls that have insecurity issues and lack confidence and are shy tend to always want the confident guy that they dream off and don't even give the guy that lacks confidence a chance because they don't want to deal with him because they have the same issues. Does that count as a double standard?

[KryHeart]

I feel ya on this one. I have that same issue with guys sometimes. I'm a nerdy/dorky girl, and I tend to attract the nerdy/dorky males because we have common interests. And they always expect me to want to date them, but I don't want to because so many of them are bitter and have no confidence. I can't deal with insecurity, and hate it when someone wants me to put up with it for them when it's not my problem. :/

[Opinion Owner]

People lack conference for a reason, if you feel you don't fit into society or things in your past, many reasons why. Doesn't make someone not datable, if you can show them that you can help build each others confidence, just saying.

[KryHeart]

Oh, I understand this completely. Everyone is allowed to their insecurities. I have many of them. But having insecurities doesn't make me an insecure person as a whole, you know? And personally, I need to be able to look at my boyfriend as an equal (especially going into adulthood) rather than someone I need to constantly encourage and pat on the back and comfort. It gets tiring and I feel like I'm babysitting, not dating. :/ Dating should be pleasant for both parties.

[Opinion Owner]

O wow, I don't mean that insecure! But I guess some guys are like that. I

[Anonymous]

That men get a "man cave" filled with cool sh*t and we just get a kitchen and dirty diapers! LOL.

[lananoel]

Women are whores but men get away with the same thing

[Anonymous]

I the that guys can sleep around but if I do I'm a slut.

[MikeK]

That double-standard is being erased...

[KryHeart]

It's still sticking around though. :/ I hear all the time about "players" and when people comment, there's always someone quick to defend the guy saying, "Oh, well he IS a guy" and they chalk it up to testosterone and other hormones. But if it's a girl, "she should have been more careful." Like, if a girl gets pregnant, people (especially other girls) always slam the girl. But very rarely do I hear anybody talking sh*t about the guy. It sucks. :(

[MikeK]

Women help to perpetuate that notion that "Oh well he IS a guy"...

I see A LOT more women sleep around than men with little or no repercussions... the only criticizing girls receiving for being "slutty" comes from other girls - not guys... so if you've got a problem with it, take it up with your female counterparts :P

[KryHeart]

I hear guys talk all the time about girls who sleep around, haha. I don't know who you're hanging out with, but that's not how it went down where I grew up. In all honesty, location may play a part. I live in a suburban/rural southern area. Girls are typically more heavily criticized here, but it may be different in other areas.

[MikeK]

Maybe - I've grown up in urban areas primarily and women always get away with pretty much whatever they want

[papercut2]

That's not exactly a double standard, but yeah..

[KryHeart]

Yeeeah, I thought about that as I was posting it, but couldn't really think of another way to put it. :/

[papercut2]

I hate it when a girl expects to get everything she wants, but hates it when her boyfriend/husband doesn't have time to spend with her