Do girls get frustrated with the cold shoulder treatment?

[Anonymous]

Hey, there is this girl at work who I like. We get on great and hooked up at a recent staff night out. It turns out she was already seeing someone so now it is awkward at work as she kep this quiet. I'm a bit annoyed at her tbh. There is def something there between us though and I like to think the truth came out on our night out. How is best to play this one at work? We haven't really spoke since like we did before it happened and I can sense there is tension. I want to tell her how I feel about her but don't think it is a good idea? I have said hello in passing but kept things short which is different than how we used to be. Does giving a girl you recently slept with the cold shoulder increase her interest or just annoy her.? I thought if I carried on as normal as if it never happened that is how it would appear so I didn't do this. Any tips girls to help plz?.

[Tamikaze]

You are describing a hot mess of a situation. This is exactly the reason to leave sex out of the mix until you are dating and exclusive. It just creates the opportunity for disappointment when you put the cart before the horse.

Relationships are about an emotional attachment. It takes time to build that. So, let me break this down for you:

1. Office flirting-means next to nothing.

2. One night stand (yes, that is what you had)-casual sex means next to nothing. Only sex in a relationship with someone you have a mutual emotional attachment with means anything more than...sex.

3. Now you want to tell her how you feel after a whole lot of nothing between you two AND her new found distance from you?

So, don't do it. Don't tell her how you feel. She is obviously uncomfortable with what happened. If you two were drinking, even one drink on her part, your one night stand was probably a big mistake in her book that she regrets. As you said, she is seeing someone else. She may be concerned this will get out. She is probably guilty.

Going from fun flirting to a regretful night of sex rarely results in a fixable situation that can go back to the start and possibly progress to a relationship. She now sees you and associates you with something she feels badly about. I would suggest you let this go, do your best to move on and forget about flirting or doing anything to get her interest back. Instead, be nice, not very chatty, definitely not flirty and just show her you are cool with her but that is it. If she wants to extend an olive branch to you or change things up, that is up to her. Good luck.

[Asker]

So let me break this down for you.

We get on great, are good friends and everyone at work thinks there was/is something going on.i have just returned to the company after six months away and we carried on where we left off. I think deep down she likes me but had already struck up a relationship before I rejoined. At the party she kissed me and asked me to hers. I was just wondering how is best to play this one out?

You seem very patronising and bitter.

[Tamikaze]

I am not patronizing nor bitter. You sound very unwilling to accept that this girl is now uncomfortable and guilty. Usually you have to tell women that sex means next to nothing. First time I have had this debate with a guy. So, anyways, giving her the cold shoulder will work very well, if you want to stop talking to her altogether.

[Chanel123]

That would annoy her for sure! You have to tell yourself this is a girl that you work with so don't let your personal life affect your work life. Don't give her the cold treatment just be how you were before. I can understand why you were annoyed with her tbf, but that's not your fault. And hey, she hooked up with you even though she was seeing someone at the time... She can't be THAT serious about the other guy then?

What kind of girl is she generally? Tree carefully. And be careful not to get your heart broken, it's the crappiest emotion a person could ever feel.

[Asker]

We are close and she just kissed me out of the blue at the party. Everyone at work thinks we are together as we have fun together. She is a lovely girl, I was hoping after what happened it confirmed what I thought but we haven't spoke about it sine and just carried on as if it never happened so I'm confused.

[Anonymous]

If she has a boyfriend, then telling her probably won't help you. And personally I think the cold shoulder thing would just make her annoyed and cause more tension. I'd try to remain friendly, wait and see if she is happy with her boyfriend. If she is, you know it wasn't meant to be. If she isn't, be there for her AND IF she breaks up with him, you'll be in a good position. Basically, don't try to ruin your relationship with her, or her relationship with her boyfriend. Because that won't make you look good.

[Vandal]

You'd assume they do.

Bad idea going for a girl who is already seeing someone, though. Especially one that's willing to hook up with other people while she's seeing someone else.

[Anonymous]

Given a girl the cold shoulder after having sex with her , Is never good .