Why is there tension between us if he doesn't like me?

[Anonymous]

So I know for a fact that this guy I have a crush on doesn't like me, he showed it in various ways when I tried to get close to him.. he used to stare at me a lot with a smile and usually got really nervous around me (couldn't look me in the eye for example..) but not anymore.

He's usually talkative around his friends, but I noticed that whenever I'm around he just stops talking and looks a bit uncomfortable, now why is that? Personally, when I don't like someone, I barely notice them and act natural, so why does his behavior change if he doesn't care about me?

[Bidsy]

we are in the same plane girl... I am having exactly same consequences you have mentioned for 10 years onwards... Things really have not changed a bit.. In the meantime he were in several relationships and broke up.. I also had a stable relationship and was about to get married... But one funny day I got drunk and phoned him and conveyed my feelings for him and he was just shocked that how could I stick to that old feeling even now? He seemed to be happy and from now he wants friendship from me and does not want to loose me.. But there is still that tension,, that chemistry,, that firework--- whatever you say... is present there.. I really don't know anymore whats on earth is going on and where it will lead.. I also really don't know how to stop the drama...

So I would suggest you to seat back, wait and watch and don't jump to any conclusions right now.. Time has answer for everything and It will require time.. Concentrate on your work (job/study)...

[harveykinkle]

Maybe because he knows you like him but he doesn't like you and it makes him uncomfortable ?

[Asker]

that's a possibility.. he doesn't have to be so dramatic whenever he sees me though, it makes me feel like I can't walk around freely if say.. I want to talk to someone I know just because he's there as well

[jenn1600]

I think he likes you and he just acts differently around you because he's nervous

[Anonymous]

It seems that he starts focusing on you because you're getting more attractive to his eyes.

[Michaelmwm19]

sounds like he likes you, I'm that way around people I like.

[Asker]

Judging by his actions lately.. it looks like he feels quite the opposite.. he went as far as to run away the opposite direction when he saw me getting near one time, which in itself I find kind of weird (and funny for some reason..)

[Michaelmwm19]

lol, he likes you, I used to have strong urges to run away from people who I liked, they made my heart beat really fast and make me nervous.

[Asker]

But wouldn't he make a move already if he liked me? I've shown interest so he should know how I feel, it seems like he doesn't really want to spend time with me or get to know me better, guys can be so confusing I swear..

[Michaelmwm19]

Ive had a girl smile at me several times and look me right in the eye, and I still dident know/think she liked me. I'm gonna let you in on a big big secrect, all the other men will hate or love me for this, but were idiots, stupid, slow, dumb, to womens signals, well most of us, and sometimes just so unobservant.

[Asker]

I gave more than subtle clues, in fact I've been quite assertive with him, for example, I asked him "so what are we doing on holiday break?" (I meant to ask what are his plans in general but it came out like I've been planning to do something together, how embarrassing), and his answer was "doing nothing" , it was like two weeks ago.

[Asker]

This whole situation makes me quite depressed because I feel like I've ruined my chances with him .. I don't know why but every time he's around I just can't be myself and I say really stupid and random things impulsively and act very awkward.. maybe that's why he pulled away.. I still catch him glancing at me often, but it's nothing like before when he smiled at me and got all excited..

[Michaelmwm19]

Yeah I know how that feels, have you tried talking to him about your feelings? the tension is there because of something unsolved probably.

[Asker]

I feel that it will complicate things even more if I'll just spill everything.. also, I don't think that he is willing to talk, he's been keeping his distance lately.. I guess I should distance myself as well.. at least that way the tension will decrease and I will be able to move on