Do I give them a chance?

[whattothink]

As a big girl I have a hard and fast rule that when I lose weight I won't give any guys that turned me down or made fun of me a chance. Well I have a couple friends that never wanted to be more, but we have messed around while I am still this size. I've recently started a jogging regimen and expect I will be looking pretty good in a year/year and a half. So do I give these guys a chance? This is a grey area...

Yes

No

Other- explain yourself.

[Arwens-Fire]

You are putting the cart before the horse.You're talking about something that may or may not be probable,but moreso...something that HASN'T even happened YET.Who says that these guys will even be thinking about you in a year?Who says they won't have a relationship by then?Who says you won't have a relationship by then?I believe you are short changing yourself with this type of thinking because its a little unrealistic.I think you should be focusing on actually feeling better about yourself,living in the NOW rather than living in the future.Focus on your current goals of weight loss because that can be difficult in itself.

Secondly,I can't imagine why anyone would want to give someone a chance who made fun of them in an offensive way UNLESS that person lacks self esteem.Also,some guys turn women down for numerous reasons.Realizing those reasons are a great deal more important than an askewed idea of vengence.

[whattothink]

Seems everyone is taking this the wrong way. I will not give the guys that turned me down or made fun of me a chance. I am talking about the guys that didn't want anything further that I fooled around with. And one in particular that I do like a little will still be single since he is perpetually single and I know he will go for me once I'm skinny. It's just one of those things that pops in your head. Not something I am fixated on.

[Arwens-Fire]

I stand by my response.Also,no one is putting s gun to your head forcing you to "mess around" with these guys.Maybe it would be advantagious for you to make better decisions concerning WHO to "mess around" with,consider dates with etc.Plenty of guys don't want to take things further even with skinny girls.Why?Some are serial daters,not that into a girl etc.You control who you are involved with.Maybe you need a better screening process and stop acting like a victim.Looking at it further,this post

[Arwens-Fire]

sounds incredibly immature.The guy who is perpetually single...so what?If he is perpetually single...I bet he is single for a REASON and you're not going to change him.You would seriously think of someone as a future mate like that?Sure,he will go for you when you are thinner...and that's. Most likely just because you have a vagina.That's it. Wise up.It seems like you have made poor decisions of who to get involved with,you got played,and now you want some pay back by rejecting them in return.

[Arwens-Fire]

Sorry,but you sound delusional.Absolutely and completely delusional.

[whattothink]

Well considering you don't know the circumstances and I do you are just jumping to conclusions. I do not want any payback. And I did choose to get involved with them. Only one I wanted to go with further and I CHOSE men generally who didn't do relationships because I worked 80 hour weeks. Also the reason he is perpertually single is due to his kid that he feels he should give his full attention to, but when he finds the right person he will settle down.

[Arwens-Fire]

If you desire opinions that are more thorough,give the proper information to begin with.If you don't give enough information,how do you expect any of us to be able to decipher the situation?Exactly.We can't.We go off of what you have written...period.And I maintain my opinion...you sound a bit delusional.But good luck to you.Try crossing bridges as you get to them.

[ShesSoSilly]

You are right in not giving those guys a chance if they are treating you badly for any reason. Its funny if they even think they have a chance I would laugh in their face. Be rude but think you'd just forget that... pfffft.

As for the other guys that are interested in you now I think if they want more or the same thing(s) you do then I don't see why not. But if they continue to only want sex and you want more don't do that to yourself. Find someone who is worth you and your time(:

[blackwaterhattie]

The ones that made fun of you, no. I wouldn't, anyway. The ones that just turned you down... if they weren't a**holes about it, then I say go ahead. Because they allowed to have a type, you know? They are allowed to have their preferences, that's fair. What they are not allowed to do is treat women who are not their preference like garbage. If they didn't do that, then they aren't bad people. They just like what they like, and that is okay.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

If you don't want to be more with them now, don't be more later.

[Janson]

if you feel like they deserve you, then sure..why not

[confused415]

When I lost weight, a lot of past flings came back into the picture. It was pretty interesting seeing the power of the weight loss. One guy even went as far as to say that if I lost 20 lbs he'd ask me on a date! Of course since they were crushes at some point I gave some a chance, but honestly, don't. They are in the past so keep them there. They weren't there when you were chubby but they are now? Jerks.

[whattothink]

Yeah I completely understand that, but what about the guys that mess around with me now, and it's either not the right time, or I am not totally their type at this time?

[confused415]

Just continue seeing them. They love you as you are now, why won't they later? They can be a great foundation to the new you.

[whattothink]

No no I'm not with them at all. But I have been in casual friends with benefits type situations with them.

[Anonymous]

Don't forget changing your eating habits is also a huge part of your weight loss too. Plus I think you should wait until you loose the weight to answer that question. But if I answered it now ide say see who comes around then and wait for someone new someone who really likes you. I just lost 30 pounds so I know how hard loosing weight could be and I still have 30 or 40 more to go.