I want to be the feminine partner in my relationship?

[Anonymous]

I’m currently in my first relationship ever I’m 20 he’s 22. The guy I’m with has only been in a couple of situationships so I’m probably his first love too. We were long distance for a few months and that was when he used to tell me how much he wants to see me and all the plans he’s going to make just to see me;however, he missed my theater performance because he was going out with his friend that he goes out with every day. I love him so much but my detachment game is so strong since he never takes the initiative, he never plans dates we just go to the same place (I recommended) every time. We go out only once or twice a month (because I wait until he asks me out) but I only appreciate that he comes all the way from where he lives to a place that’s near my house. But he took me out for dinner only on our first date and then he made no plans whatsoever. A flower where I live costs 1 dollar so every time we walk past a flower shop I pray he notices so he gets me one, he never did. I mean I’m still young to be with a man who can’t treat me like a woman, he never holds the door open for me (he literally walks out and doesn’t look back), he crosses the street and then lets me cross by myself. I told him I have a reading week so I’m staying home from uni he said he wanted to see me, I asked him where are you taking me he said I don’t know and then kept asking me where I want to go. Is this normal? Am I overreacting? I’m only asking for a man to take care of me, I mean I can take the initiative once or twice, but do I have to do that for the rest of my life?

[Anonymous]

It's normal for an inexperienced younger guy to be like this. Young men these days are taught that women are strong and don't need help from men and if you do anything chivalrous it's condescending and sexist. He thinks he is being nice by letting you pick where you want to go on dates.

You can try having a polite but serious conversation with him about taking the initiative and being the leader in the relationship, and that will likely be the first time in his life he has been told it is okay for a man to act like that. If you're willing to give him time, he may change his behavior to fit your needs.

[Anonymous]

As a woman who wants to be the feminine partner in a relationship, you are a high value woman compared to many today, and you deserve a good man who appreciates you and treats you like you deserve. He does not prioritize you, which means he's taking you for granted. You deserve better.

Considering your feelings for him, I wouldn't say you should end the relationship immediately, but you need to somehow communicate your dissatisfaction and your needs and give him the opportunity to change for the better. If he doesn't, dump him and find a man who treats you right.

[Nikki1989]

Quality men are challenging to find. Romantic men, even harder.

[AI Opinion]

Your feelings are completely valid, and wanting to feel cherished in a relationship is important. Being the feminine partner doesn't mean doing everything yourself. It's natural to want your partner to take initiative and show thoughtfulness. Try having an open conversation with him about how you feel. Sometimes, people aren't aware of what their partners need, and communication can make a difference. Relationships are about mutual respect and understanding, and finding that balance will help both of you grow together ❤️.

[OlderAndWiser]

Don't worry about "who is right and who is wrong." Just focus on two things:

1. Am I getting what I want to get from this relationship? and

2. Do I have any valid reason to expect him to change how he conducts himself?

[DryGermanGuy]

Communication is the key to a working relationship. So do not only tell us, tell him!

[slatyb]

"He missed my theater performance" -- you are an option, not a priority. Stop wasting your time with him.

[Avicenna]

If you’re not happy in the relationship and see no prospect of change, you should break up with him

[Anonymous]

Avoid feminism.