How do you solve bottlenecks in your free time activities lists (details in description)?

Question

I like to read... a lot... so lately I started to read The Expanse book series (yes, I know it's also a TV series on Amazon Prime, but I prefer to read)...

also, I talked with a friend about Dune, and then there was a related thread on one of the forums I frequent... so I decided that Dune comes after The Expanse... I reread it every year anyway :D

and on another forum I found out that the Hunger Games Trilogy just got a follow-up novel that was published 10 days ago...

so now I don't know if I should pause The Expanse and read the Hunger Games Novel, and return to the series afterward? put the novel at the end of the list? I just wish I had more time for reading!!! :D

how do you solve bottlenecks in your free time activities? do you experience them at all? :D

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

I like to sort of hyper-focus in general, on all things. That's where I feel best. This includes conversation, working, especially. Though if something is unsatisfying, unfulfilling to me, I will double dip, double fist, do two things, sometimes three, at once. But ideally, I like to fully immerse myself. I only jump around, from one thing to another, when I can't focus deeply, and want or need to get at least some things done. This can also help create momentum, I've found. I do the easiest, quickest things first, and work my way up to the mentally taxing tasks.

A manager of mine, many years ago, noted on my annual review that she noticed I liked to do things based on easiness, not on priority of importance. She and I disagreed sometimes on priority, lol. But, admittedly, I did not agree with one company policy, and since I was supposed to be the enforcer of it, I would give other employees more time and latitude on it, which technically broke the rules. Anyway, prioritizing is important, but it's also not always that cut-and-dry. I also liked to organize the administrative stuff first, before anything else. It's a strong need/desire to get to a clean slate, get those ducks in a row, before feeling like you can tackle other things.

I'm very organized and I really dislike clutter. I'm highly, naturally motivated to get rid of it. And getting rid of it often means doing something that will take considerable time or energy or brainpower. So I try to find the balance between the clutter and the work.

A stack of books looks like a to-do list to me. To some people, it doesn't, but to my mind, it does. I also have a self-imposed rule that I won't put those books (or most objects) elsewhere, stored, out of sight, because I want them there to pressure me to hopefully soon deal with it. Out of sight really is out of mind, and that's a bad way to get things done. Even when it comes to wardrobe, you don't wear what you don't see. We wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time. Because they fit the best, look the best, and mostly, are the most comfortable. (You can switch your hangers around, one by one, every time you wear an item, and by the end of the year, you'll see how much you never use, and should/could maybe get rid of.) You could apply this to books, if you wanted to. If you keep choosing every other one, over x, do you really need to read it/keep it?

Books are tricky, because they take several hours to 'process', if we are looking at it as a purely objective process. Yes, there's entertainment to be had, knowledge to be gained... depends whether it's fiction or nonfiction, and what genres, right? I saw a q on another social media site recently, asking if people feel any guilt not finishing a book (aka DNF it.) Most people said no. Some said yeah, a bit. I think it broke down more into wanting to get their money's worth, and some OCD-leaning types, as opposed to the much smaller group which tried to finish for the author. (That's valiant, for sure.) Really, we should not have to finish something we purchased, and usually for entertainment. But with books, it might take multiple hours before you get a payoff.

I only bounce from one book to another, simultaneously, when I am not enjoying the first that much. Though the topics could be very different. I could see circumstances where you read one in the morning, one on a lunch break, and one in the evening; all to fit different states of mind. (Romance for at night, right?)

But humans are not good multitaskers. (Probably no creatures are.) Women have a bit of a leg up on men, in multitasking tests, but in general, few are great at it. Though I've seen many brain scans and men are much more singularly focused than women. Women's brains pull in more information from more areas of the brain (to include senses, memory, emotion, facts, etc. etc.) Thus, "Honey, are you listening to me? Did you hear me?" No, he wasn't. He was tuning you out. They excel at this, lol. And the TV being on in the same room affects them less. [Insert the standard disclaimer about exceptions to the rule.]

I think that the more we try to do more things at once (or in a day, in a week, etc.), the more we are taxing our minds, and creating a certain amount of anxiety or discomfort psychologically. But for an ADHD mind, do the same mechanisms apply? It's interesting that you give an ADHD focusing drug like Ritalin to a non-ADHD person, and it will make them less focused, not more. I'm wondering if this factors in here at all.

I wouldn't put books to read on a list. I'd let the physical presence of them be the reminder. I put things on lists that have no other physical reminder. And I have a list on my phone (which I need when I am out and about, and you forget all the not so important things you've been searching for; especially when you're standing in a store with potentially thousands of items. You focus on what is in that moment. That's enough to process right there.)

Have you ever read about state of flow? I'm interested in this. It's a very great state to get into. It's calm but mentally active, and highly productive. I wonder if it happens in a passive state, just listening to music you love, or reading a book you love. I don't know. I'll just paste my notes here, in case you're interested. It's a bit long, but you can parse through.

Flow: An optimal state of consciousness where we feel our best and perform our best.

An altered state of consciousness where every action, every decision, seems to flow effortlessly, perfectly, seamlessly. It’s rapt attention, total absorption, being so focused on the task, everything else seems to just disappear.

Flow only shows up when our attention is in the here and now.

Intuition tends to get turned up.

Frown muscles tend to be engaged.

The term was coined by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832), rausche (sp?), or ‘overflowed with joy.’ Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) wrote about flow. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (1934-2021) is considered by many to be/often referred to as the ‘Godfather of Flow Psychology.’

The flow triggers are your tool kit to drop into a state of flow. So far, researchers have identified twenty-two. There are probably many more.

The Golden Rule of Flow (aka the Challenge-Skills Balance) is that we pay the most attention to flow when the tasks slightly exceeds our skillset. So, to create flow, to get into a state of flow, you have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. You need to stretch but not snap.

You need complete concentration. Ideally, start your work session in relation to your physiology. Then block out 90-120 minutes for uninterrupted concentration.

Practice distraction management ahead of time. Turn off all potential distractions. There was a study of coders that found a distraction costs them a minimum of 15 min, and that’s if they can even get back into flow at all.

Flower Triggers:

The triggers are primarily dopamine triggers. These triggers drive focus, attention, alertness, excitement. There are a number of ways to get dopamine. Novelty, unpredictability, complexity, awe (which creates perceptual vastness). Getting things right gives us a small dose of dopamine, and that increases pattern recognition, etc. This is the same dopamine that comes from risk-taking, whether they be physical, social, emotional, spiritual. The dopamine reward used to be thought to be the taking of the risk, but we now know that it is a driver, to drive motivation. There are many intrinsic motivators, but from a psychological perspective, there are five, and they are all designed to work in tandem, in a specific order and sequence.

The most basic human motivator is curiosity. When we are curious, the focus comes for free. We don’t have to struggle to focus, or burn a lot of calories trying to pay attention. Curiosity is designed to be built into passion. Passion breeds purpose, which breeds autonomy. We want freedom to pursue our passions, and once you have the freedom to pursue, you can potentially get to a state of mastery – the ability to perform something well.

All humans are built for flow; flow is peak performance. The potential is universal. We are capable of more than we know. This is a commonality among all.

People scoring the highest for overall life satisfaction are also the people with the most flow. Flow is satisfying.

Motivation gets us trying; learning allows us to keep going; creativity is how we steer the direction we will take; flow is how we amplify the results beyond all reasonable expectation.

Sorry this is so long. Maybe the joke here is that you "like to read" ha ha.

Take care.

7Phoenix7 · Accepted Answer

Right now I'm watching Dexter series, and there are other series I'm wanting to get to as well but I'm keeping my focus on Dexter.

If there's a movie that im into then that's different. I'll watch it, only 2 hours.

But I like to bingewatch one good af series, and finish before starting another lol.

WindAtMyBack · Accepted Answer

These are not college text books with a deadline for getting them read. This is for enjoyment, which should be the deciding factor.

Will reading a series as soon as it's published increase your enjoyment? How much do you like the current series you are reading? Do you hate starting a book and not finishing it?

These are all questions that only you can answer. But do any of them really matter? Are you simply over thinking it?

When you have time to read, read whatever you want. If you are itching to start on Hunger Games, then do it - and don't feel guilty about temporarily dropping the other one. If you never get back to the first series, it means you weren't really enjoying it that much.

I have started and stopped books as many as 3-4 times before I finally read it through, and enjoyed it. Some books are slower starts than others. It doesn't bother me in the least if I start and stop a book.

I absolutely do NOT make lists. That would be stressful which defeats the purpose of reading in the first place. It's totally leisure, and I don't feel bad at all about jumping from one book to another.

Can you read two series at once? My father always did that. He had one series he read at home, and kept another in his car to read when he was at the coffee shop or restaurant.

Blunky · Accepted Answer

I've had to force myself to not start another book until I finish my current one. I still buy them when I find them and I'm running out of bookshelf space but that just means there will always be something to do in that corner of my house.

I will say, the Expanse books are far, far better than the show on prime. The ridiculous acting just doesn't do most of the characters justice and they give different characters more emphasis / screen time trying to over-villify them. The show makes a lot of the characters seem incompetent but that's the theatre world for you.

molonski2 · Answer

So by bottlenecks you mean select the thing you most wish to do?

I'd personally go on feel for that day , so in your case all these books , they may be suited to a particular mood. So have a written list , refer and decide as the time arises.

So , I always have multiple things , if its an activity , its weather , mood , need for that sport training , honestly I do put work things off all the time and then end with an extreme deadline.

MemeSupreme · Answer

i just don't rush it and accept it's gonna take longer to do whatever that is or won't be able to  or i'll sacrifice one or two days of a lot of my free time so i don't gotta worry about it lol

DryGermanGuy · Answer

I don’t create such bottlenecks in the first place. My hobbies, reading, biking, watching movies… are supposed to make fun and not feel like a chore I have to organize. 🤷‍♂️

BadApple69 · Answer

First off glad to hear you are spending free time reading. I too enjoy a good book when I can.
Personally all the books you mentioned are good stories but…. Throw them all away. Read expeditionary force by Craig Alanson. It’s a long series I just started on book 10. It’s worth the read.

I know… I wasn’t any help…. I just complicated things ever farther. Sorry about that

fuddly · Answer

No I don't allow my hobbies to stress me out 🙂

I would say my free time activities as follows

My children
Cycling
Gym
Gardening
TV news drama
YouTube
Netflix
Decorating

But if I ever found myself short of time I can drop everything except of course my children🙂🙂🙂

I finished one book in past 3 years
I started loads. Mostly Kindle.

Books of physical paper is small in my life now
I really nausea recently when I was in a bookshop

Staximus · Answer

Everything has an order of urgency or importance in my mind. Whatever needs to get done first gets done first

Agape93 · Answer

For books I make a list, starting with what i already started, to the one I want to read last. I have about 9 books in my list right now.

For everything else I prioritize based on importance vs time frame.

exitseven · Answer

I just try to set time aside for myself and hope for the best.

Sunrising · Answer

I prioritise everything and if nothing is very important, I do what is the easiest to complete, or what I prefer to do first.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Make time for self care. HAFTA! by the way read expanse. Hg can wait

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