My husband had a end of year Christmas work party... Mostly female co workers. They went for lunch and then bowling. Then after they decide to go to the club and be was also carpooling. My husband didn't invite me and I felt this was totally inappropriate. I trust him but I think with female co workers you have to set boundaries. Thoughts? It feels like he'd rather do anything without me than with me. When I go to the club I always invite him. what is this about? Am I wrong? He can go out with he's guy friends but I think the female co worker relationship is tricky. But I really want to know other people's thoughts on the boundaries when it comes to females at work as a married person.
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Oh then when he left for the Christmas party he tells me oh yea, I won't be in a rush to get home 😔 just broke my heart. Only been married a month by the way.
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This Christmas party ain't on Christmas so I don't really see the issue. It's not as if he's picking them over you for Christmas.
Also sometimes you don't want to always do things with your partner there is independent things that bring joy because of that.
As for female coworkers welp you just have to trust him really nothing more else you can do unless evidence proves guilt.
If my wife said she was going to a party with some guy coworkers I would choose to trust her.
I guess so... Im really conflicted cause I see this point of view too.
Thanks
It will always be conflicting though time together will slowly make you less worry about it. Unless other red flags and evidence start coming I would try not to worry about it though of course you will because only human after all.
No one can give you marriage advice because they're not in your marriage and therefore don't know the dynamic.
Did you tell him how you felt?
Yeah of course and now it's this whole trust thing. I trust him but the environment in the club is usually to find girls and guys (mostly) and then they were mostly female co workers then he doesn't even invite me, then the carpooling. He already went bowling and lunch that was the Christmas party part. Then the extra clubbing... I could have joined as I always ask him to join me when I'm out with guys out of respect.
And what was his response?
Well he ended up leaving the club yelling at me on the phone that I should just trust him and that I always want things my way. So yeah didn't go so well. I find out he was at the club when he called me. Didn't even know about the club till then.
What did he say when you asked why he didn't invite you?
Or did you ask that?
Didn't ask
Well don't you think you should? I mean you're telling him you have a problem with this. But you're misleading him as to why. Is it because you're afraid of what the answer might be? I mean this isn't going to go away most likely unless he seemingly does something to assuage your fears I feel. And that may or may not happen. So don't you think you should talk about it.
In my opinion if you trusted him you should have let him have his fun then talked about it later. That way you didn't appear as the part killer. Even if you are emotional about this you need to approach it without emotion. Just calmly tell him how you feel.
At least that's my take.
I think I understand your insecurities about it. However, if its just friends, I don't really see the problem with it?
Though, I am new to such things... honestly looking for some advice myself.
It's the environment in the club and then having the female co workers in your car as you go clubbing together... Not extending the invite... It was just a lot and we are in our 'honeymoon' phase.. yikes.
Oh, I see...
well, have you should make it clear you are not comfortable..
would you mind giving me some advice?
Sure about what?
Well, I posted anonymously about it a few times.
Could I DM you?
follow me if its okay? or send me a dm.