Should I say something about this s%! t Christmas gift?

Question

My extended family do a secret Santa for Christmas, done it a few years now. We use an app which gives you the ability to add things to your wishlist. So far been pretty happy with the gifts I've gotten over the years even if it wasn't on my wish list. However, this year I was very disappointed and honestly caught off guard. Opened my gift to find a "mystery bag" in side, within the bag was a snakes and laders game for 4 year olds, and the dice game jinks... so basically both kids games and obviously not things on my wishlist (Things on my wishlist list were a few books, chocolate etc like things that are super easy to get). It was kinda a punch in the gut and honestly ruined my mood for the rest of the day.

Im probably not going to go to the family Christmas next year so ill probably pull out of the secret Santa and just leave it at that and maybe not mention anything about the completely thoughtless gift.

I've kept the games to donate to some kids next Christmas who will appreciate them more than I will.

lilBigPotato · Accepted Answer

Do you know if the gift was "thoughtless"? If it's a mystery bag, then the person obviously didn't know the exact content, but there might have been some description like boardgame/card games and the person thought it's something you enjoy. Sure, a mystery bag is always a gamble and you can argue that it was not a good idea but that doesn't mean that the person didn't spend some time thinking about what to get you.

The wishlist on secret Santa apps is usually meant as a fallback if you can't come up with anything at all because you might draw someone you've never seen or talked to. It's the boring option people try to avoid. It's what you pick if you actually don't want to think about what you get the other person.

Secret Santa isn't really about the gift you receive, it's usually just something small and inexpensive that you can easily get yourself anyway if you want it. It's to make someone a surprise and meant as nice gesture, maybe learn something about the person in the process and put a smile on their face. And as it's always with surprises, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. The few secret Santas I've participated in always gave me something silly or useless. It's what I expect going in. Guessing what my gift will be, from who it is and why they chose it is the fun part about secret Santa, not receiving something you wished for. That's how I also choose mine.. I try to make someone smile, not necessarily give them something they need.

Honestly reading that it felt like a gut punch and made you upset the whole day because of it reads like it's a little kid who got the wrong playstation game for Christmas. Sure you can tell the person that their gift was shit and that you hate it, but if they spent even a tiny bit of time thinking about what to get you, it might feel like a gut punch and make them feel upset for the rest of the day... Your choice if that's something you want to do.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Nope. Don't say anything. Might have been lazy choice or thoughtless, but is Secret Santa ever a great event to participate in even if you offer a "wish list." It's sort of a forced gift giving from someone who would never give you a gift otherwise.

Leave gift giving to people who care enough about you to give from their hearts and their friendship toward you. And they know you well enough to give something you'd enjoy.

It sounds like the person thought they were giving a gift to someone else, (a young child) or there was a mixup. Forget it, and don't participate in the future. Doesn't mean you can't show up for the family gathering. I can't believe they force anyone who comes to do this! That's awful.

Shiprex · Accepted Answer

Sorty to hear the disappointment of others thoughtless efforts. It's people who are lazy.

I had 2 secret santas with colleagues and kids at the place I work. Since the event was at my secrets place, he knew it was from me but my gift was a F-CAWF chicken mug tve kids found hilarious.

But what was sad was one kid (11 year old) got her SS a gift but her SS didn't get her something. The night before last day I had to get her something similar to her list items.

Merry Christmas by the way

SamIam96 · Accepted Answer

I agree, what a completely thoughtless gift. You've gotta wonder what they were thinking. If you decide to say something, try to keep an open mind. God knows what's going on. Maybe it was a mistake? Maybe it was intended for someone else? I know... unlikely.

Still, is this insensitive gift so bad that it's worth straining your relationship with them? Better to regift it. If you can, give it back to the person who gave it to you. Or, maybe a toys-for-tots drop off.

NathanDavis · Answer

I think you should...  just post a sarcastic thank you on the family group chat... lol... "the kids will appreciate it"

HawkPerception · Answer

Just regift it. It's not a big deal. It's just a family get together. Not your partner gifting you anything.

Honestly I don't even want gifts for Christmas. I just enjoy people's company... and the booze 😂

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

A wish list is a wish list & like a wish some wishes come true & some wishes don’t.  Don’t say anything about your gift. Regift it next year to someone in your extended family.

Massageman · Answer

Passing it forward is a nice idea.

WellBye · Answer

Girl, please. Who cares? I get terrible gifts every year, especially from my mom, she outdoes herself with awful gifts each time. I couldn't care less, it's not worth whining about. I just keep them to regift at my friends' kids birthday parties or something, at least that spares me from having to choose/buy gifts.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

Christmas shouldn't be about expecting good presents. Just my opinion. As an adult I buy myself the things I really want and appreciate the thoughtfulness of any gifts I receive. Just think about what you said. The gifts I receive are more important than my family. So much so that I'm willing not to see them if I don't get the things I want out of them. Obviously do what you gotta do. Have a good day.

live2dance25 · Answer

I can understand you being upset. Sometimes things don’t work out as planned and your idea to donate the items and move forward sounds like the mature, adult way to deal with things. I personally wouldn’t say anything to avoid ruffling others’ feathers.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

I haven't gotten anything for Christmas since I was a teen, but I still have my family and I think that's the best Christmas gift of all, mostly since I've lost friends over the years and their families have to go through every Christmas without certain people, it truly keeps me from even caring about gifts tbh

msc545 · Answer

So, you got an inappropriate gift. It sounds like that gift was meant for a child. Since it wound up with you, the best thing you can do is give it to a child. The best gift you can give yourself, however, is to calm down and relax. It wasn't directed at you personally.

Ironco · Answer

Really, at 28 you still give a shit about gifts? At your age you drink, cook and talk smack about everything. The gifts don't mean anything anymore... And this is coming from a guy dressed up as Santa...

molonski2 · Answer

Yeah , I wouldn't worry about it , no big deal , just gift it to some poor kid that needs , it's all good , don't take to heart.

Desi_Butcher · Answer

Well yeah that's a bummer... Must be some kinda prank or just a mix up from the giver.. don't u think?

slatyb · Answer

Not directly, but if people are ignoring suggestions you made prior to the occasion, that's just rude.

glennos89 · Answer

At least you got some gifts I didn't get any this year

Still-alive · Answer

nah don't say anything. i guess on the positive side some kids will get your gift when you donate it and have lots o fun lol

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Nope dont say anything after all it's the thought that counts

Anonymous · Answer

If you don't like it, you should say something.

exitseven · Answer

yes, say Thank you.

Should I say something about this s%! t Christmas gift?

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