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I’ve started to grow more and more worried about when I will settle down and have children (Page 2)
Anonymous
(25-29) 
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I don’t think it is too late for you by any means. If you’re about 30, in reasonable shape, and willing to date men ranging from your own age to 3-5 years older, you should be able to find someone suitable. This is especially true if you’re not imposing rigid standards like expecting him to be 6’ tall (only 20% of men are over 6’), wealthy, much more attractive than you are, etc. Almost everyone will be struggling financially within five to ten years due to dedollarization, so I wouldn’t let worries about financial stability get in the way. It’s important to find a guy who will work hard, but that won’t be rewarded as well as it used to be. People have children in the third world.
Hello, I was single at 25 and met my now husband when I was 26. I also know a few ladies who let their husband early thirties. We all have life happen at our own time.
Do you have hobbies that you’d enjoy? Maybe take some classes or join some groups to help you get to know people. Also, try to eat healthy and excercise. I’m not just saying this because of vanity reasons. I find with that combo you feel better and when you feel your physical best your best personality shines. With you being introverted try not to burn out. Maybe ask yourself what time of the day you have the most energy and make those your social times.
The only way for you to have all of those things that you mentioned, even if you were younger, is through God, scripture, daily prayer / confession, inviting God into your life and becoming Godly. Then you'd ask God to help find you a Godly man and you would be very detailed in all requirements. Your daily practices would slowly transform you / your soul, increase your discernment, faith, belief and attractiveness to good men and you would meet one. Think about it. You are trying to find a husband and placing all of that on your own shoulders and you have a very limited social circle, limited ability to find a good man and have no idea where to look or how to spot a good one. God already knows everyone, everywhere, their thoughts, beliefs, future, past and suitability.
Your definition of "misogynist" is hilarious. Tell me your an npc without telling me your an npc lol,
But aside from that I really can't feel bad for you because there's a 1000% chance you've passed up Manny good men in your search for some dream guy, because finding a good man is not a were Waldo game they are everywhere you can throw a Nicole and hit a good suitable man. So your just not choosing them for whatever reason. The fact that your clearly indoctrinated with coo coo 3rd wave feminist logic (or more accurately, lack there of). is probably hurting your chances with good suitable mentally stable men as well.
My advice do better And respect men. There's good men everywhere your just presenting them with red flags most likely so the avoid you, or maybe you have some as options but you pass them over. In either case you have the issue. Fix it.
Have a good day. Goof luck to you
I got married 6 months ago at the age of 44.
I didn't meet her until I was 42.
Previously, I was single for 10 years after a bad break up with an ex fiance.
Now I have a wonderful wife and two amazing stepsons!
How old is your wife?
She's 36.
If marriage and children are your goal then your daily actions and activities and priorities should be on finding a compatible life partner.
That is your daily goal/job.
If you just meander about, doing nothing about it, just hoping some "perfect" guy will just plop into your life from out of the sky then you are sabotaging yourself.
To be fair, you're not a "traditional person". That's just your delusion and ignorance at your own lack of personality and charm. You'll make a terrible mother and even worse partner, hence why there have been no "takers" for you. Your daddy issues will always hold you back.
You need to find a man ASAP, the reason you haven't is that your standards are too high for what you have to offer. Stop holding out for Mr. Perfect, he doesn't exist. Find a decent average guy who you can get along with and marry him. Also, be aware that the longer you wait, the worse your options become.
My standards are actually very low. They need to be higher in fact. The only reason it is taking too long is that I am stubborn and antisocial. I can’t find a husband if nobody knows who I am.
@Sarahr123 Other than the basic requirements of a man, the ability to provide and protect, presumably someone who understands concepts like honor and responsibility... and we'll go one further... one with the humility to accept when he is wrong and take positive steps to not be that particular flavor of wrong again, what ARE your standards? Sometimes they aren't as low as people think.
I can't tell you how many blind dates I've been on where some cosmetologist informed me that her man "had" to make at least 100k. But she couldn't cook. And didn't clean, and didn't intend to contribute to household expenses. And her overall BMI-to-IQ ratio was not looking favorable to anyone. Some of them have told me they had low standards. Oh and he had to be at least 6'2".
That's the closest I've ever come to watching reality TV. Can't say I understand the appeal.
Another thing, and I think this profile picture is much better than the one earlier today.
Cheers.
@BoopBoopBeep Thank you! I think I changed my picture again after you commented to a much more casual photo without makeup. This one was taken on my birthday.
Considering the previous two relationships I had, I am told I don’t know what I am doing when I choose men and that I need to start looking for better men. My first boyfriend was unemployed, abusive and extremely rude and controlling. He would check my phone every single day - he’d go as far as checking internet history, emails, how long calls were made for and he’d call them back to make sure they were female. After he called my family and swore at them I had to break it off. It was hard as I was so so emotionally attached to him since he was my first boyfriend and I only wanted one man in my life. If I ever had to take a cab to get home then he’d pay for the cab which was enough to impress me for some reason. I don’t really know what to expect since I never had a father so I would often pay for a lot of things when I used to see him.
The second guy was very insecure and also controlling but not as controlling as my first one. He was 12 years older than me and he would use triangulation abuse a lot. He used to bring up his exes or flings he had to make me jealous - I think this is because he was jealous I had a relationship before him. He was so jealous in spite of the fact that I was a virgin.
Both those relationships gave me bad anxiety and stress. The first one caused me to lose a lot of hair and I looked horrible for six months after it ended.
@BoopBoopBeep I don’t have a height requirement. The first one happened to be 5’11. I wasn’t looking for a tall boy - he just happened to be tall-ish. The second one was the same height as me at 5’7. I am OK with boys being the same height as me or taller. I don’t demand a 6’2 man who is à multimillionaire. I just want someone who will be loyal, loving, caring and sensitive, someone whom I am attracted to, someone who is in the age range of about 30-40 and is earning at least £40K per annum - that would be the same as myself. I don’t intend to work after having children as I want to be a homemaker but it seems like a lot of men would be very happy with that arrangement.
@Sarahr123 None of that sounds unreasonable, and I'm sorry that your first two were so lousy, but it reflects well on you that you take accountability for your part in picking them and sticking by them instead of just playing the victim card. That will certainly up your marketability. The only real difficulty I might see is I know parts of the U. K. (especially around London) are quite expensive. You, your husband, we'll say, one child, making it on 40k/year might be rough if you don't move to a more rural area or even out of the country. The men of value who are making even that money are certainly cognizant of that difficulty. I'm not sure what the best solution is there, but certainly keep that in your mind. Congrats on very low materialism on the other requirements, too. I'm still quite confident you'll find someone.
You seem to have a poor choice in men, and you obviously picked those last two because they excited you in some way. You need to stop looking for excitement and prioritize men who might initially seem boring but who are stable and will treat you well. You probably have at least one guy orbiting you in the friend-zone who would probably be a good partner but just doesn't give you the tingles. You need to get real and ask yourself if settling down with nice, if somewhat boring, guy is worse than getting passed around by jerks until you hit the wall and then dying alone.
I have no male friends. No men know me 😂 When I tell you I never leave the house - I am literally Rapanzel. I went to an all girls school and I have a close group of 5-6 female friends I stay in touch with.
I belong to an orthodox community and everyone I am acquainted with is from the same community where it is frowned upon to make male friends. We need to be very careful not to get caught by some aunty speaking to a boy in public or our reputation gets destroyed within our community. My two relationships were very discreet and when my father found out about the first one I was put under house arrest with no phone for two months. It was supposed to be his way of rehabilitating me and he thought he was being soft with me because he hadn’t slapped me for what I’d done. In hindsight, I understand why he did that and I think it was for what was in my best interest.
In my community we are expected to just have husbands someday but my parents can’t help me find a husband as they’re divorced and my father has remarried since my house arrest so he doesn’t get involved in anything to do with me or my siblings anymore so I am on my own in this and that has been confirmed by my mother. She’s given me the green light to look for a husband but not cross any lines - as in not to have a physical relationship.
I work from home so I never leave the house. I make no exaggeration when I say I probably leave the house once every two months. The only parties I have ever attended in my life have been weddings and even my socialising circle is women. We sometimes join for tea in the evening and we’ll gossip about the usual things women gossip about. What new jewellery, shoes, clothes or bags we bought. That’s my life.
You should hire a matchmaker.
How can you expect to meet a man if you are never anywhere that a man is at?
@BoopBoopBeep We (my friends and I) have come to the conclusion that we are not finding husbands because of the fact that we know zero men and no men know us. My friends are going down a semi-traditional route of hiring matchmakers who will match them to husbands within their communities. I don’t want to do that because I would ideally want to escape the extreme orthodox culture of my community. I may need to look outside of my culture and community for that and that is where the problem is. I could otherwise easily go down the traditional route and find a husband through a matchmaker but I am not willing to marry someone with whom my views are not aligned and I’ll have to live a life pretending just to keep everyone happy. It will be a prison sentence for myself and it would be foolish on my part to do it.
So that leaves me with the only option that gets left which is what you suggested yesterday. I could volunteer at local churches, charities and NGOs and hope to fund a good man who is willing to get married and have children in the next 4-5 years.
You seem a nice lady with a decent head on your shoulders. Some crap taste in men in your history, to be sure, but hopefully you learned from that. I'm confident when you get out in society and can actually interact with men you'll have a list of potential suitors to choose from. I also agree with everything you said about the matchmaker route. I'd not recommend that course of action.
You could hire a matchmaker who is not part of your community, they are out there, my MIL used one such service.
if your standards were "actually very low" you would have already found someone, or more accurately should I say someone would have found you
I think you should bury your anxieties. Love yourself. You come across as someone who has not wasted her years. Someone who have just had other crucial priorities. Go after what you love. Be loyal to it. All you are looking for is on that path.
Give it time, be aware and learn to read people, I'm sure you'll find someone worthy of your time and you'll work on your future together at the best time.
You don't need to have a kid, you just want to have one. Not having kids doesn't make you a failure as a woman or any less of one. Relax. Not having a kid is better than having a kid with a man who is unsuitable to be a good father or husband.
If you want to find a guy who is father or marriage material, you better get out of your house and go out and find him. Jesus is not going to drop him off on your front porch.
I’m 28 years old I’m in the same boat it’s a source of severe depression for me. I honestly am to the point where I feel like existing is pointless
Likewise 🥺
My aunt didn't get married til she was 40 she now has 2 kids.. Calm your tits lol
stop seeing marriage and kids as your only goal in life. Espacially nowadays in the age of self entiteled feminists, Karens and men shaming. Guys mostly in the US want to avoid marriage at all cost, and many also want to stay away from women since they became more of a burden. I see this behaviour also shift to European countries as well, Brits and Germans start the woke feminist way too
In that situation, is it not even easier for a traditionally minded woman who has a family as a key goal in life, even if not the only one?
In a country in which there are lots of women who hate men the ones who do not must have an advantage.
if you live by everything will be alright then it will
There’s no point in worrying about something you can’t control. You’re just going to drive yourself insane.
Look, if you're a traditional and maternal woman, you're an extremely desirable women. Even if you do have to compete with younger women, you can easily win, because they generally have high body counts and bad attitudes. Just meet more men, network a bit, make sure avoidably unattractive (extremely fat, etc;) and I don't see why there would be any problem.
what you call mysoginistic is only the ugly truth. you waited too long sorry. calling it names does not mean it is wrong.
Yes I waited so long I am an ancient 25-year-old old lady and all the men 31+ are happily married with kids now. How silly I’ve been.
She’s still in her prime child bearing years. What makes you think she “waited too long?”
@MzAsh he’s probably a Tate fanboy. Can’t deal with these redpill idiots. 😂
@MzAsh to mz, because most lady get snatched by 21 22. child bearing is not the factor, but availabiliy.
to anonymous content tate, you interpreted me as if i said you are old and ugly i never said that.
i was talking about availability. how can you compete with 22 year olds. sorry not sorry for the honest answer. in fact i agreed with your "more n more worried" that YOU wrote!
22 year old are “more available” because they’re still kids in many ways. Most 22 years old have zero business getting serious romantically.
My mom was almost 45 when I, her first child and only, child was born.
> I am delaying marriage because I haven’t found the perfect person yet.
You'll never find the perfect person. Determine what you need vs what you want.