So this is somewhat a continuation of my question from yesterday. I was able to witness a several marriage proposals last year and early this year. Some were extravagantly public - where the guy proposed at my friend's workplace in front of her colleagues and family/at a resturant/during her brother's basketball game to where he came during a halftime break... to where some were private - guy proposed at the first place they went on vacation/surprised her at home with a dinner waiting. For all the public acts of display, as much as I found them to be romantic... I couldn't help but felt awkward for my friend who was crying her eyes out with makeup running and having loads of eyes on her. Personally I feel an intimate proposal is more special. What about you guys? Girls: how were you proposed to/do you care to be proposed to (where do you imagine it to take place)? Do you want it to be public where family/friends/strangers are there to witness it all or perhaps you prefer it private? Guys: I get that you'd care to make your lady feel special, but do you personally believe in public displays of affection or care to keep it between you two/semi private when you propose? Do share your romantic side on how you imagine in setting things up/how you proposed.
Private or public proposal?
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+1 y
Thanks for the replies all! It's awesome to hear all the variety of ways you guys proposed or got proposed to. I personally like the gesture of a semi private engagement were my guy would ask me in a private setting with limited close friends to capture the moment or assist in setting things up.
Side note: please quit being a parasite on my feed @roblovesdemialways - I get you disagree with the views of other people, but there's no need for cussing them out! So shoo your rude behavior!
Would you rather a marriage proposal be private or public?
I’ve always felt public would be the way to go, because it’s the toughest out of the two (private v. public) to do, so I didn’t want to go the private route just because I was too nervous or shy to do the public. Of course, it shouldn’t matter too much whether it’s public or private, as much as the content and substance of the proposal itself and the feelings between the two individuals. I also think one has to know their partner and their preferences, because they might indeed prefer and find a private proposal better. In the end, deciding which is best has to be decided by all of the important factors in mind. The important factors to consider when deciding on a private or public proposal are: the specific public venue, the comfort level of one’s partner, the right timing, and the right people to ask to get involved because surely you’d want some way for the entire thing to be documented or recorded. There are pros and cons to both and I guess the main downside of public proposals is that your partner can lose focus or become distracted from the background crowd if it’s public. I’d imagine it would be hard to devote all her attention to you because of everything going on around. Public seems to be less intimate and less personal because now everyone else is involved. Private can be more personal and intimate, and since there’s no background noise to be distracted by, you two can be in the moment and focused specifically on your emotions involved. Really, the only reason why I contemplate public proposals is because I didn’t want to feel like I was avoiding them because I’m nervous, but I also don’t want to just forego the private proposal if it’s truly the better of the two for my situation.
I prefer a private proposal. It's a very intimate moment, and I'd feel much more comfortable experiencing it with just her. It's not TV, family time, or public time.
I'd want it to be private. I don't want a whole massive thing planned thing like some people do crazy stuff just to propose. I'll say it's nice that they put so much effort into planning a proposal but I'd prefer it to be something small and private. I could literally just wake up, my partner proposes and I'd be more than happy because I don't really care how a proposal is planned. Just knowing my partner would want to spend the rest of his life with me would be more than enough. I'd want it to be a memory that only we'd share together. Plus I know I'd for sure cry and I would absolutely not like to cry while there are people around so private it is.
My husband asked me in private, just the two of us even though the whole family knew what was going on before I did! He asked me to go into the back yard because he had something to show me. We sat down on the big tree swing and swung a little, talked a little, smooched a little; then he stopped, got down on one knee, looked me in the eye and asked me to be his wife for life! I asked him if he had asked my Daddy if it was OK with him, he had, so of course I said yes! By the time we went back into the house his parents and sister were now there too!
I've seen it done both ways. And feel a little on the fence about both. While my best friend (daughter's mom) had a beautiful proposal at a winery, and it was public it worked great for her and her husband. When I proposed, I was more private about it, I was at home making dinner when I proposed. I don't really like outside influences when I make a huge choice, which I do believe plays a bit in the whole thing. If I did it again, I may switch it up a nice dinner, or something special between me and the person I'm with.
I dont believe in proposals at all. Nor marraige. The male supplication is so idiotic, and that its always the male is sexist. But the stupidest thing is, she can say NO. So how stupid does someone have to be to Publicly make a situation where the answer can be a rejection, infront of loads of people? And if she doesn't want to, she'll still say yes infront of all those people, so its also pointless, inconsiderate, and setting someone up for disappointment. Also, why should other people have to be delayed/distracted/go along with it? The whole thing just reeks of autism
I agree with you. If I am to propose to my lady I rather do it in private where it is only us, her and Me. For 2 good reasons, 1. I want her answer to be clear and a honest one and free of pressure from her surroundings. And 2. When we started being in relationship it was Me and Her and nobody else so, why would I do something that is so important to me to display to a bunch of people that I don't know even our close friends fall in that category like an asking for there approval instead of hers? 🤔
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Private Private
Those are things that shouldn't be done as a show off but a meaning of how much you care and how much effort you're ready to put in this relationship, unlike many, I don't really share anything about my relationship on any social media because I believe it's our business, yes I would say 'Yay! Got engaged.' only for the sake of letting my friends know about it rather than having to go through messaging them individually, but I prefer the details to be kept private.
Definitely private. I was involved with one of my friend's proposal where we kinda surprised her with some dancing and then he popped the question. And all of her close friends and his close friends showed up.
I personally would like to do it somewhere private where it's just the two of us.
I proposed to my wife at a Dueling Pianos, piano bar. Her favorite place.. I handed her a piece of paper with two check boxes on it that said "Will you marry me, Check yes or no" I know corny and weird. I put the ring on top of the paper and slid it over to her. She cried, and checked yes. We kissed. and the rest is history.
The people who propose in public look like attention seekers to me. What matters is not the intimacy and love you feel but to look cool and make the experience look cool for, what? To upload a video on YouTube or brag or what?
If have to marry and have a proposal intimate, please. However I don't want to marry so I expect no proposal at all.
Personally, I wouldn't make it public unless I 100% knew that she was just waiting to say Yes to me. If she's anything less than dying for me to propose to her, from an emotional standpoint. Then I'm just going to make it private. The only reason I would ever make a public proposal anyways is to give her the story. A story she could tell her friends and be ecstatic about.
Private. It can be in a public place like a park or the beach, but make it private. Don't gather a crowd of people, don't kneel in a crowd of people, don't give a speech to people. Or maybe go when the place isn't super crowded. But I have really bad anxiety and having a bunch of people watching would make me embarrassed.
Definitely private. Public proposals are way too over the top, show-off-y and pressure-inducing for my liking. Private proposals are much more comfortable and the recipient can answer honestly and without the peer pressure of an audience. Though I wouldn't mind doing it in a special way and/or catching it on film.
Private, for sure. Public would make me uncomfortable and awkward; it's a private and special moment for just you and your S/O, no need to showcase it.
For a real overkill kind of person I really actually hate public proposal. I want it done privately. All of Time Square doesn't need to be breathing down my neck and streaming a moment like that.
Hmm... I don't mind either way. Private is fine, but if its in public it has to be in a different country while on vacation without friends or family involved.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
For myself, private. I'm a private person all around.
I was talking about this with a female co-worker one day and I asked her how she'd want her boyfriend to propose and she said private herself. Even if she 100% wants to marry him, if he were to ask in public she would purposely reject the proposal in front of everyone because he should know she wants it to be private.
I hate when people propose in public because there is no point in it and it might be awkward for both of them if she rejected him in front of all these people who're watching them. I personally prefer it to be in private to avoid awkwardness
Private. With people around I would be very very pressured and wouldn’t be my real self and have a 100% real reaction. It would be like a %80 real reaction.
I'd prefer my proposal to be private, because I would most likely feel very awkward if others where there and I don't want to feel pressured into making a decision
Feeling pressured? Really then why be with him in the first place you three women who I called bitches should live by yourselves and become cat ladies and spare some poor men all your miserable bullshit
Oh sure, let's try to peer pressure someone into getting the government involved in our relationship! That's not manipulative or a dick move if I wanna keep the government out at alllll xD
I'm going to propose on the jumbo screen at a baseball game. Yeah, not really. I prefer to keep my life private. I don't even like putting things on social media as it just seems distorted and fake.
Private. Proposing in public, in my opinion, is like forcing the other to accept, to not humiliate you in public. Keep it private, the answer will be more honest.
@EclipseoftheHeart simple because I tell it like it is and what gets up these "womens" asses is they don't like to hear the truth or be called out on their shit
It should be done casually. Like we are having dinner at our place and he just mentions that we should get married.. then he asks "if I have an objections to being married to him?'' and I'd say ''no''. Lol😂 No rings.. no special flowers or whatever.. Just the two of us together planning our future.
I can tell just from these few comments you're one if those flaky wishy washy high maintenance girls who's all about her drama. Just don't get involved with any guy spare him the headache of dealing with you
@sonnysunshine actually no it's not horrible it's better that way because if she says yes in public you'll spend the night in cloud 9 then later on when you're alone and she has that private talk and rejects you, you'll start to wonder what you did wrong and try to convince her to say yes again only to no avail and you'll be left wondering why she didn't say no in the first place only to have her say because I didn't want you to feel embarrassed in front of everybody. Basically setting you up for one big mind fuck the whole time, when in fact that type of conversation should of been brought up before any type of proposal even takes place where the two of your stand if you can see a future with one another instead of going through this charade of being a mind fuck bitch
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