Do you think a marriage proposal should be a great public display or a private intimate moment?

[Desconhecida]

[Craftsman]

There's a lot to be said for both sides of this one.
Making it public lets the world know that the one proposing is serious and wants the world to know how much love is felt, and how sincere the proposed commitment is. The down-side of the public proposal is that it seems to put pressure on the one being proposed to to say 'yes' so everyone can cheer and applaud. There is a component of manipulation by the proposer in this.
The other side of that is the more private, more personal and intimate setting. In this case, in the extreme, is between just the two participants. There is much less pressure to conform to and abide by the social expectations. In this scenario, the one proposing faces the very real possibility of a 'no', because there is no crowd or family to pressure a 'yes.' Similarly, the one being proposed to is not under pressure from a crowd or family, and faces only the 'push' from the one proposing. If the recipient of the proposal does not see a future with the proposer, then it is easier under these conditions to say 'no.'
It seems to me that 'in private' the risk of rejection is greater on both sides. That may be a good thing, since the interaction can be much more honest and sincere.
For that reason, I think the private, intimate moment is the better choice. Then, if the proposal is accepted, a big show can be made of a 're-play' for family, friends and the greater public. If the intimate proposal is not accepted, then much public embarrassment and loss of face is avoided for both people.

[CallmeTheKnight]

Private. The public is just manipulative peer pressure.

[BipBipLeddus]

Private, or at least privately. When people make a spectacle out of it, I feel bad for the one being proposed to.

There's 1 of 4 options when those public proposals happen:

1 - this person wanted to be proposed to in a way that made them the center of attention
2 - this person wanted to be proposed to WITHOUT being the center of attention
3 - this person was NOT ready to commit, and now they have to break that news in front of everyone and look like an asshole, OR
4 - this person will say yes while not ready to commit and their relationship will suffer, or worse, fail, before they even have a date set because they said yes to avoid looking like an asshole in that moment

[Daniela1982]

Only if you know for sure that they are going to say yes as it would be super humiliating and awkward if they turned you down.

No? You said NO?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Everyone is different and wants different things... And it's not my place to say how others propose or would like to be proposed to.. But for myself, personally,... I'd prefer a private, intimate, non flashy proposal... I'm simple... I care more about the love in which they propose than a flashy engagement ring or a flashy proposal...

[Lonewulf57]

There's something to be said for both ways.

As an introvert, I prefer intimate settings so we can focus only on each other. In that respect, I also think in terms of not wanting to stress her out by putting her in a position that I don't want to be put in.

An extrovert is proud to publicly pronounce their feelings to the world. Personally, as each is the antithesis to the other, I naturally think an extrovert is playing to the crowd, NOT their intended. However, that's because extroverts lose energy in intimate situations, whereas introverts gain energy in intimate situations.

[SenileOldMan]

I did it the private way with my wife. I wasn't shy or anything. I've gotten a guitar and sang love songs to her in public even though I can barely play guitar and I can barely sing. I'm cool with embarrassing my wife and myself. But for a decision as important as marriage, I didn't want to pressure her in any way. After she said "yes" though, I did the formal proposal of getting down on my knee and proposing in front of all our friends. Then I got on the stage and sang how much I loved her boobs and butt.

[music_bubbles]

This is dependent upon the individuals involved. Personally, I would prefer a private intimate moment. I feel like there is less pressure if it's not surrounded by many people, you don't want to feel pressured into saying anything whether it's yes or no.

[Shaftaloo]

I think for me private is best. If it has to be a surprise, close friends and family presence is acceptable, but in a public place for strangers to see? No, I wouldn’t be happy. I don’t want the video to spread either.
I really prefer to talk about marriage and come to an agreement instead of getting surprised. Unless you’ve been already talking about it and the only surprise is what your ring is going to look like, which I’d also prefer to choose my own ring😆
But if he’d like to be a romantic, I wouldn’t ruin it for him.

[TheBootyChest]

In the middle, I think it should be small, but if there is a group it should be the people who know us, not complete strangers.

My one time proposing was actually at the beach with my photographer friend who was helping set this up. I wanted both our parents to be there but her mom felt that it should be without them. So instead I had our parents meet us after I proposed. Both the ring and the dinner were all a surprise to my girlfriend at the time.

[Red_Dawn123]

Private. Less pressure on her to give me an honest answer. And if she says no…well, Less embarrassing. Proposing to someone is an intimate act signifying that you are ready to spend the rest of your life with that person. That’s pretty intimate. Should be private in my opinion.

[NamerOfStars]

Both. I don't think I'd want to put someone on the spot like that, in front of potentially hundreds of people. Would YOU feel comfortable saying no under those circumstances? I'd say make it private.

Then wait. Wait until some time has passed; enough that the initial rush has worn off, but not so much that you've begun to make plans in earnest. THEN do the big public spectacle. Best of both worlds that way.

[JasM0]

First, let me say that proposals are like buying a car. Do your due diligence. You want to ensure that you’re creditworthy - meaning that the recipient of your offer will accept your offer. You can test the waters without spoiling the moment.

Next, Make it private, personal, relevant, and intimate. Close friends and family only will make it a life long moment.

Best

[Youryeodongsaeng]

Letting the whole world know that you want to marry this person, or keeping the marriage proposal between friends and family?

I think that depends on the couple. It's not my say to judge whether or not should proposals should be made public or private.

[Novacane]

This is a great question! I would say I think it should be a private thing for sure because it s between you both. Now that doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it in public, by all means, do it, I just don't think there is a need for people to stop and clap.

[Sasha_Gee]

Private. That extra social pressure is not something I want if my partner proposes too soon and I'm not ready. I'm sure that the other people will look at you as a villain for rejecting. But if I love him I don't care if it is public, I will say yes regardless! 😅

[shaysh87]

People like to propose in public because they like the attention

Strangers may cheer for you because that is expected of them. But honestly deep down beneath our happy exteriors , none of us really care. And when we go to sleep by the end of the day, we won’t be remembering you.

In all honesty , it’s a bit cringy for you to announce your proposal in front of the entire place

[Xoxocutekitty]

The proposal itself can be private (in the morning or afternoon), but I would definitely want to have a planned special dinner to 'celebrate and show off' with both of our parents and any immediate siblings.

Marriage is about families merging (or at least them acknowledging they will have to put up with each other for a looong time).

[Wraith_Cemetery]

Only show-offs and social media obsessed people make a big spectacle of the proposal. They want to make a big event out of it so they can blast it all over social media. We're definitely in a "look at me" culture right now.

For me, it's an intimate moment and isn't necessary to do out in public in front of everyone.

[libsaretards]

This really depends on the woman. When a man is proposing to a woman, he is trying to convince her to marry him. This means it is about what the woman is comfortable with. Normally I'm not one to kiss a woman's ass, but this is the one exception to that rule.

[Jersey2]

I think it is cheesy as fuck to propose in public. It puts undo pressure on her to say yes. I wanted a real answer so I proposed in private and then went back to a house full of people who knew it was happening but she did not. It would have been on me if it was a no, not her.

[OmegaSTC]

I think you should do what would make the person being asked the most happy. However I do NOT think you should fake proposals for instagram posts. Doing photo shoots of proposals where the girl is pretending to be surprised is a disgusting habit in our society, and it’s evidence of social media constantly sucking any ounce of authenticity from our lives.

[AdithyaR]

Proposals should never be public unleiits discussed in prior by the couple.
Cause public proposals put a lot of pressure on the one who being asked. If they say no, they're the villain in front of tbe crowd. It's actut very manipulative.
If both partners had already discussed that public proposals is something they'd like then great, it's super sweet. But otherwise not a great option.

[Anonymous]

how about your partner giving you an answer first unlike me which i never got an answer to that question no matter how many times i asked my significant other if they would marry me. never got a yes or a no i always got left hanging with no answer. it took me 2 years to work up the courage to ask them and a year and a half (6 months prior to asking them to work up the courage to buy them a diamond engagement ring which i never bought anyone that the most were promise rings). so imagine how i feel never getting an answer when i asked the love of my life if they would marry me