How do you feel about public marriage proposals? Also, would you girls rather be “surprised” by the proposal or would you prefer to have discussed it?

Question

Honestly, it makes me cringe when I see public proposals. I would also liked to have discussed it before he asks me to marry him.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

I dislike any public display that appears to be showing off. Plus, if it's a surprize, there is always the chance that there will be a refusal, which happens some of the time.

Public displays such as that are a form of "bragging" and "look at me." Distasteful.

For example, I'm going to give a gift to a very generous professor I know. I know him through two programs where I am on a board with him, and go to general meetings of these groups he's involved with and he has helped make me a part of.

I could give this gift to him publicly, but it's that same bragging and look at me. It could also make other people feel small or misfire. I know he won't hate the gift, but just like the possibility of a proposal refusal, the same thing could occur with an inappropriately given gift.

It's not a gift if you don't want it or like it.

mandyfire98 · Accepted Answer

I'd prefer to have a private marriage proposal. I think it's between me and my significant other. Not for everyone else.

NamerOfStars · Accepted Answer

When my Dad got admitted to medical school, the plan was that he'd move down to Austin and take my mother with him; when she questioned whether Texans would approve of unmarried people living together (it was the 70's), Dad said "Oh, I thought we'd get married" and then avoided further conversation by falling asleep. You wouldn't think that worked to avoid something, but it does.

I always figured if I was going to propose, I'd try something similarly low-key, then wait a while until she'd mentally moved on, and THEN do the big public display. Possibly even outside the church immediately before the ceremony: "Will you marry me?"

"Um, yes. Isn't that why we're here?"

"Will you marry me right now?"

Wallythewalrus2 · Accepted Answer

We had discussed it and she basically said marrying me would be the thrill of her life. About a month later, we got a puppy that she absolutely adored! About six months after we got our dog, I tied the ring around his neck and waited for her to notice. The most intense ten minutes of my life! Finally, she noticed something hanging from his neck and saw it was the ring. She cried and said she will worship me, the way I deserve to be, until her last breath. To this day, I have NEVER seen a more beautiful bride.

Finchie40 · Answer

I think public proposals are disrespectful, mainly to the person that isn’t proposing , by being put on the spot in front of everyone, I feel proposals should be private and intimate and just between the 2 of you

AviatorTom · Answer

A public proposal is risky. She might say no because of the pressure, even though she would say yes in private.

Avicenna · Answer

Not a fan, but it their proposal and their life

MiddleAgedClimbee · Answer

We knew it was coming, I'm not sure that we formally discussed it. I actually bought the main engagement stone through her parents neighbor who was a jeweler and got a very nice price on it and then had him set it in a special band.

the only way I would propose in public is if we had discussed it beforehand. I chose to propose in private in the fall of 2003.

molonski2 · Answer

As they say..
Never ask a question you don't know the answer to? I would hope it had been discussed already at length privately , rather than some stupid out of the blue proposal.
It may be possible to do both , but for me , I'd much rather it be private.

Billlewis · Answer

Ms. Becky, I'd like to express my sincere apology for being so dismissive of you the othe night, and at the risk of stating the obvious, may I please tell you that,

'Id crawl a mile through broken glass, just to kiss your gorgeous ass... you make me want to beat my meat, and grovel at your luscious feet'

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

The shit is bullshit. It's using social pressure to get the yes answer. It's on par with rape in my opinion. Just like when a dude sends flowers to her work... It's some psycho shit to force a woman's opinion in a certain way. I find it cringe.  Yup, that's pretty cringe.

wysiwyg2525 · Answer

It's BS. It like your seeking approval from socity and from others. If it goes south your going to look like a fool. Just save yourself from embarrassment. This is personal and you should make it comfortable for the person. Most people don't like to be put on the spot. It's like forcing them to say yes because all eyes are on them. Women should tell all these guys that do this no. They need to teach desperate men that is not ok to do this.

JTPeterson · Answer

I feel like it should be talked about first if a woman wants a meaningful rememberable proposal then I honestly think public is the way to go because it makes her the center of attention and shows that the man has no fear in professing his love in front of lots of strangers. Now if a woman wants it done privately without a seen at a random place then I would just ask the woman on the spot if she will marry me

YesterdaysChild · Answer

If the proposal was made by someone I don't even know, that might be a laughable problem. This girl I'm sure knew what was going to happen so no surprise there.

Orangekiss · Answer

Usually, the girl knows by their relationship that he will propose and is expecting it. She just doesn't know when, so there still is that element of surprise.

KatherineJ · Answer

I knew it was coming, and we had discussed it (a lot). He proposed in a public space, but surrounded by family, so it wasn’t a big deal.

NathanDavis · Answer

I wouldn't make a public stunt myself...  very much rather for that to be an moment of "us" and only us... and for it to be truly intimate and close

DextroShade · Answer

Public proposals are stupid and put pressure on the would-be bride to say yes. I waited until we were completely alone to propose to my wife because I wanted her to say "Yes" just for me and not for the audience. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't truly want to be with me and will not settle for anything less than genuine desire.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

Set in such a situation, I would say "no". I prefer to talk about the private stuff in a private space.

jarkitor20 · Answer

I think a public proposal is good but you have to be 1000% sure first that the person will say yes. It is good to talk about it first too to know if they want it publicly

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

I think ima keep mine private, I don't want anyone's ooos and awws when I'm proposing, I want it to be a special moment shared with the woman I love.

A-John-W · Answer

I'm not really a fan, it almost always feels fake. Like a show for the people around, when really it's between the couple themselves - I also think it should be discussed beforehand, as you should be able to talk about sensitive topics like that rationally with your partner, and it doesn't take away from romantic situations which is the only argument I could even think of for the contrary

katiesmuff · Answer

I've seen some done publicly on TV and they were pretty neat and the girls were truly surprised. As with any marriage proposal she always has the right to decline.

HawkPerception · Answer

I would never do that. I've always thought guys that do that are strange. I've planned mine for years and years and it's the farthest thing from public

strateguy632 · Answer

oh like in those films on the big score board at sports. i think bad idea. she would be forced to say yes even if not ready yet or worse say no in pubblic.

Nikki1989 · Answer

My husband proposed to in a crowded restaurant to a standing ovation. Then the restaurant allowed us to have anything on the menu for free. It was perfect.

slatyb · Answer

I would never. It's tacky. Also the diamond engagement ring is ridiculous, invented by the DeBeers cartel to sell diamonds. I'm more of a "Would you like to get married?" guy.

Massageman · Answer

How "public" is "public"?  I proposed to my wife in a "public" restaurant , but in the booth and not on my knee.  (This was WAAAAYYYYY before today's social media).

Rimaisme · Answer

I hate it. You're most likely forced to say yes and worry about how public perceives your reaction

Jennz6 · Answer

Discuss it, maybe pretend it is a Surprise when in public

Alex-Snow · Answer

I think I would refer it to be private... at least whenever I get married I'd loke it to be that way. It should be a special moment not a public spectacle.

collie22 · Answer

Sounds romantic but I don't think I would like that much attention at that moment 😊

Simslover92 · Answer

I'm fine with a public proposal and would prefer to be surprised.

exitseven · Answer

I never proposed to my wife. We both just knew we were going to get married. Looking back I wish that I made some grand gesture like that.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Honestly I don't like them it just puts pressure on the person that being proposed to say yes. To me when you propose it should be in a more intimate setting show her that your taking this seriously. It's not circus bafoonery

XXblack88 · Answer

If someone was proposing to me, I would prefer they not do it in front of everybody.

RingOfFire · Answer

It's unfair to have her under pressure like that to say yes.

Staximus · Answer

I'd rather it just be her and I, somewhere nice and scenic

Andro36 · Answer

That is definitely not for me. I thibk it is ridiculous

Sharkstealth · Answer

Talk about geeky. A bunch of Asian continent young people with even the points per letter.

Christoff92 · Answer

It's ok. My cousin proposed to his wife then girlfriend at his parents 25th anniversary.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Very cringe, a proposal should be done in private.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree, private is the only way to go. And how many guys have made fools of themselves when they get rejected publicly?

Anonymous · Answer

My boyfriend knows never to do that to me. I have very bad anxiety and he would never do that!

BCRanger10 · Answer

I don't like them.

Al_Musafir · Answer

Unnecessary, cringe and full of show off.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Public proposals are too risky in my opinion.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

It's pathetic.

RHK36 · Answer

It's tacky, but to each their own.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

People just LOVE attention

LiamJHayden · Answer

I dislike them.

boobliker · Answer

can go very wrong.

krin_m · Answer

Meh, I don't care for them.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, I think it should be done in private.

jaskin777 · Answer

Surprised

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I agree with you.

Paul09 · Answer

Cringy asf

In_Trance · Answer

Indifferent

How do you feel about public marriage proposals? Also, would you girls rather be “surprised” by the proposal or would you prefer to have discussed it?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

How do you feel about public marriage proposals? Also, would you girls rather be “surprised” by the proposal or would you prefer to have discussed it?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.