How do I deal with a woman who flirts with my husband at work?

Question

My husband told me about this female coworker who keeps flirting with him even knowing that he is married. He said he doesn’t flirt back but she doesn’t stop. She tries to touch him too. She even suggested going to a bar after work, which my husband declined.
I feel like going over there and cursing her out but that would be too dramatic.

worldscolide · Accepted Answer

Honestly its not your place to do anything about it, He is handling it the best way it can be. He is telling you the truth, and he is ignoring her to the best of his ability. Again its not your place to step in and do anything. Sadly if he was a woman, with a man giving her unwanted attention he could go to HR. But because of his genitals if he goes to HR he will at best get laughed at, at worst he will get fired for making the report.. It sickens me that women get away with all of the things that men can get ruined lives and reputations for.

markscott · Accepted Answer

Punch her. Just kidding. If she just kids a little, that's no big deal. If she is seriously flirting, then there is not much you can do except talk to her about what you see her doing. In practical terms, your husband can do a lot more about it than you can.

sejla · Accepted Answer

It is up to your husband to set boundaries. That is about all you can do unless you want to show up spontaneously one day with a fancy homemade lunch just to mark your territory. The best revenge is acting really happy when you drop off the lunch and if your husband introduces you to the other people in the area you greet them with a smile and grace even the woman who is flirting with him.

Gabbers4482 · Accepted Answer

I get you wanting to get involved. But this is his problem to handle. You can't do it for him. If it really bothers him he will do something about it. Are you sure he's not saying that to get you jealous and make himself seem attractive? I had an ex that tried that shit. In the end he's an adult and he needs to handle this himself. Its your role to support him not do for him.

Melshmallow046 · Answer

My boyfriend had a girl chase him for six years, even though he plainly told her he was not interested and never would be. Even when she was dating other guys, she still made it obvious she would drop them for him. Thankfully for his sake, she stopped when we started dating and won't even look at us now, although she sent me a friend request on Instagram. If she was still chasing him though, I'd be perfectly at ease other than feeling bad for him having to deal with that.

If you can, make sure she sees you with you husband, and be affectionate, even if it's only holding onto his arm. If it continues and your husband feels it's necessary, he should tell a superior at work. It should be an issue for your relationship though.

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

Tell you know Taekwondo and you're not afraid to use it.

okay joke aside, here what you do. Go to your husbands job lookin' fine with a capital F and just bring your husband some lunch, act all wifey and when you see that heffa give her the " dis mine husband trick. come closer and you will catch these claws" look. She'll back off then.. if not then you'll just have to make it look like accident.. like o we don't know why she disappeared... to bad so sad.

abc3643 · Answer

There's nothing to do.

This is all in your husband's court.

Look: He's being honest with you and flying straight so, really, this is just an annoyance to him. If she crosses the line and this becomes sexual harassment, then it's his duty to alert her to that fact and, if she doesn't back off, then he needs to go to HR.

Anyway, don't be too concerned. If your husband acts on her advances THEN worry - and take action complete with all the drama you want.

GhettoGirl · Answer

Let him tap it, you can watch from a far, see if he is different with someone else. You'll be surprised what you can learn. I learned in that fashion my friends with benefits guy spends a lot more time going down on other girls than he ever has me. But it dont help I told him he didn't know what he was doing down there.

Adam1978 · Answer

Your husband should turn her down hard so she get the point. You shouldn't do anything. You can come and pick him up for a lunch date to mark your territory. But you shouldn't act towards her.

Thomas_Shelby · Answer

Good husband, and good on you for wanting to do what you say you do. I think the best thing to stop her from flirting is for your husband to take care of things. You can try to scare her off, but as long as she sees that your husband isn’t firm in denying her, she’s going to keep trying. So, tell your husband to be mean to her, to shut her down completely

Texaskid1 · Answer

Nothing.

He will continue to ignore her and she will get the hint and move on to some other guy.

Do not confront this women as it could be embarassing for your husband and might cost him his job. You could also get arrested for public disturbance or assault.

Avicenna · Answer

He needs to handle it at work, not you in a way that could result in you facing criminal charges. He needs to look at his company's policies for dealing with such incidents and may end up having to report it to HR.

Anonymous · Answer

He should tell her to stop if it's getting too serious. Or if need be, go to HR. But it's his work, so nothing really you can do. You just have to trust your husband. But even if you did do this, it's not going to stop her is it? Because she obviously has no respect for your marriage. So while it might make you feel better in the moment to tell her off, it's not going to change anything likely right?

Kaazsz · Answer

Its just flirting. Girls are constantly flirting. Every girl I know that has a man is flirting with guys when he is not around. Everyone is flirting all the time except the people who can’t flirt and the ones who think it’s a crime.

5_AM_Oracle · Answer

I think saying no on repeat, not going into the advances and basically giving her a feeling that she's wasting her time, should do the trick. Also that is nice of your husband to share :)

CherryRoseChampange · Answer

Tbh, he just needs to be straight up and set boundaries with her. If she crosses it he can try and get her fired for sexual harassment.  If that fails, then catch her and speak your mind.

joanofarcher · Answer

Id rally the squad and kick that bitch's ass.. But In all seriousness its cool that he told you about it. That's a trustworthy man you've got. Chances are you have nothing to worry about.

Korand · Answer

Usually I type these long elaborate responses to give actual support and help. But right now I'm not feeling to good and I'm rather tired so I'll just leave you with this. Kick her ass.

mellowman · Answer

Husband is the one to deal with it. simple things like, "wow, note sure my wife would be on board with that" , "I'll have to remember to try that one at one with my wife tonight", "good one, try it on one of the single guys"

Anonymous · Answer

Drop his lunch into his work or something so that she can see him being all over you and then later refusing her when she tries it. She’ll try to gain power for so long but three more you two do this the more fed up and bruised her ego will become.

Anonymous · Answer

He needs to speak to HR as this may possibly come under the harrassment act

as much as you are wanting to cuss her out if you were to do this it could possibly get your husband into trouble off his bosses

MrOracle · Answer

In time, she will give up and move on to someone else. She may take a while to get the hint, but she will get frustrated or bored and move along.

DeathRowKingPin · Answer

Tell him to record it and law suit. Also prevent a law suit she’d pull on him.
That’s best way to handle it for both parties use hiding camera they’re easy to get
Make millions or prevent her from getting millions and send her my way

Neeceeb7 · Answer

It's not your job to think on it. It's your husbands job to make sure she knows he is happily married and cut it off before it starts

winterfox10 · Answer

He should report the situation to HR, or otherwise make it known that her advances are not welcome in a clear and concise manner. People don't get hints; they just don't.

Cybernizer · Answer

He needs to tell her he is already married. You don't need to do anything because she doesn't know any better. Just make sure she knows about the marriage.

13IsALuckyNumber · Answer

He’s not acting on it so do nothing. He seems to ignore it and doesn’t appear to go along with it, so just let her continue. It doesn’t seem to do any harm to anyone.

Cj_Shway · Answer

depends what he does... buy him some headfones? oooooor nothing

FakeName123 · Answer

You don't. You trust your husband to do. If you can't, then the bigger issue is the trust in your marriage and not that stranger woman.

Apple1996 · Answer

I have no idea, my husband doesn't work with females so I dont have this issue

Izumiblu · Answer

You do nothing. He needs to deal with it and you should stay out of it

nerms123 · Answer

Your hubs should tell her to stop. If she doesn’t he should report her

Aidelwaish · Answer

U can "test" or ask ur hubby : "do u think i should do or say something to her?"

Anonymous · Answer

What should YOU do? It's him who should do something about the situation. You're not his mother. Tell him to bring it up with their boss. Sounds like sexual harrassment to me and that is illegal.

Shamalien · Answer

You should go over there and not curse her, but simply give her a piece of your mind in a very matter of fact way. Heisenberg style "Stay out of my territory"

slatyb · Answer

You trust your husband to deal with it. If you don't trust him, then he's the problem, not her.

MusicMayhem · Answer

Maybe he's giving you a shit test to see if you still care about him...

GuidoThePizzaMaker · Answer

You need to deal with your husband He needs to shut her down

OrwellianHorror · Answer

The fact he's told you about this is a good start. Honestly, he needs to go to HR. Or next time she tries anything have him call you in the phone and hand it to her. Be gentle about it but firm. She'll get the message.

SilentWatchman · Answer

Curse her out, then take your husband home and fuck him Not even kidding

Tslaveee · Answer

Yeah women find a man who’s taken and content as a challenge. Integrated gender workplaces lead to sexual tensions, sex, relationships and assaults

DesertOasisMan · Answer

Knock her ass out! And tell her that’s my man and you better stay away from him if you wish to see the sunrise again.

Twalli · Answer

There's nothing you can really do. It's good that he remains faithful to you despite her obvious interest.

Keith469 · Answer

If it's serious your husband could always speak with HR.

IMainHanzo · Answer

Dont do that, it sounds like your husband has everything under control.

veebee14 · Answer

CONFRONT her periodddddd, that’s the only way it’s gonna stop honey

BigSlice · Answer

I’m just saying if that was a man doing that to my girl he would be in an ambulance.

Jonad · Answer

Put a fish in her car. Oh wait, there's a nasty one in there twice a day already.

Sssss993 · Answer

He should report her for harassment to the company manager or even to the police

skaterr332 · Answer

Hopefully he isn’t giving her any reasons to continue with her behavior. But you should have him call HR in front of you.

yourwildestdream · Answer

give her 2 black eyes and the number for dental implants sweetee

rocket696 · Answer

If you were my wife, you should definitely invite her over for drinks and an all night threesome.

artemis77 · Answer

stern talking to back off or else there will be trouble i bet he enjoys the attention though.

madgoat · Answer

Can he have a word with his line manager?

outside_Toronto · Answer

It will stop eventually if he doesn't respond

Desconhecida · Answer

Has he already notified the HR?

esotericstory · Answer

its sexual harrasment. #metoo for your husband.

prasanp · Answer

let your husband handle it

Iron_Man · Answer

Talk to her and your husband

Muhammad1999 · Answer

Seems like your husband likes the attention.

bush123 · Answer

honestly i have no idea

Anonymous · Answer

I’d be flattered and not worry about it lol

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

Flirt with her husband

MyLastRemnant · Answer

Hire a hit man

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