It really just boils down to compatibility. Finding compatible people is quite hard. What we define as "wife material" is subjective. What one woman thinks makes her "wife material" may not be the same as what I think. Perceptions vary among men as well. Just look up questions here regarding what makes an ideal partner and you'll see various (and conflicting) opinions on each person's ideal. Some of the things that make my girlfriend "wife material" to me for example, are things not many people like.
I suspect there is a general disparity between what men consider "wife material" and what women consider "husband material". I think that in a significant number of cases; each gender's views are in conflict with the other when it comes to desired qualities.
So for example; if I believe that prioritizing one's partner is essential in a potential spouse, I'm not going to be keen on dating a workaholic, even if she, and many people consider that to be a positive factor in her "worth" as a partner. In this case; a clingy waitress is more "wife material" than a distant CEO. The CEO too will probably expect a potential spouse to give her lots of space to focus on work.
Another point (as someone has already suggested) is that too often, people get arrogant when they acquire a high perception of their worth (real or not). Men do this too, but not so much when it comes to relationships (I think). Achievements and confidence are all great. But when we start thinking that it makes us better than others, that arrogance turns off anyone who has a decent perception of their own worth.
I intend to get married, many men do as well. But they are each looking for their definition of a "wife material" woman, as I'm sure you are also looking for your definition of a husband material" man.10 Reply
Most Helpful Opinions
You said it. Look here's the facts,
Half of marriages end in divorce, with about 70% of those started by the wife, out of that a man risks losing everything including his pension and to top it off anybody can just get up one morning and decide that they want a divorce for no reason than being bored.
Marriage is expensive and according to you there are plenty of women out there who are wife material, well here's the kicker that's only according to you and what makes one woman wife material to one woman makes here a whore to another man, sadly you don't get to decide who men marry but men and they alone get to decide what they want not you.
So therefore your ideas about marriage are shot because your looking at marriage from a female perspective and trying to see the other side for which you can never do.
If marriage were such a good thing then explain to me why it's mostly women who are fighting to have the rights to walk away from marriage not men, if it were such a good thing then explain why the marriage day is such a big cost and celebration surely if being married is more important than the celebration then it can be done for a few dollars why the excessive cost that in truth most men are still paying for after the ink has dried in the divorce papers.20 Reply
I think this is kind of all across the board and I do think it has to do with age as well. People are getting married and having kids later than they used to. An aspect of not wanting to settle down is that our dating culture has shifted. Online dating has made it really shallow and people are always looking for the next best thing rather than being happy where they're at and who they're with.
10 Reply
What I believe is the problem is how available sex is. It used to be that for a guy to have sex he basically had to get married. Now sex is so available that a guy sees all the choices and doesn't want to commit. I think its a big problem that everything now a days is about sex. I can't say I am not part of the problem but still.
75 Reply- +1 y
This has some truth, but also this is true for women and not only men. Women can "hookup" for sex, on average, about 10-20 times more easily than men. For every 5 girls a guy bangs, a promiscuous girl can easily fuck 50-100 guys (and even those figures are pretty conservative compared to the most promiscuous women.). I'm not even opposed to promiscuity, but people blunder into it all too readily without considering the long term impact it can have
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
103Opinion
... First of all, no there's not. So many of you are obese and disgusting. Maybe spend the 30 minutes it takes you to cake on makeup going for a run instead. You're body shape is that of a bowling pin. Then there's the sluttiness... you've got a higher sperm count than me!
And really, even if there's some pretty virgin out there you're still not worth it.
My grandfather and uncle got the chaste christians, and now they're bossed around by fat bitches and treated like complete trash while they worked themselves to the bone providing them a wonderful life. My father gets cheated on and divorced, loses half his life's savings for no good reason at all. She was just bored.
And to be honest, I've never met a woman who kept me good company. So self-absorbed, boring, and uninteresting. Women who aren't complete slugs just soak up attention from groups of men and make you compete instead of just trying to be your friend.
It's fairly clear women don't particularly care for men as people. You look at us more as an accessory or tool, like a purse or hairdryer. Men are constantly involved in women's issues but women just whine how unfair men treat them. During times of war men must go overseas to get blown to pieces, how privileged, while women sit back and shame men who try to get out of it.
I've got my friends, I've got porn, and both of those will satisfy me more than any women ever could.
The only reason women were ever relevant to men was because there was nothing better to do. Even now you're only good for busting a quick nut, and most of you aren't even good for that.23 Reply- +1 y
@neesa No bitch, I'm fucking 6'3" and 170lbs. I'm talking about all the girls I see in public and on my campus. Sad part is I live in the 'thinnest' state.
Why do you think there's such a huge push for body positivity and 'plus sized' models? It's to market to women, who are blowing up like balloons.
It's funny that that's the only point you can refute too... Don't even care to make a dent in my claims about women being whores and taking men to the cleaners in divorce? Or how poorly they treat them in marriage?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_feather
No fault divorce
Biased child support and alimony laws
Family court
Becoming a cuck
Never seeing you guy friends
The end of sex
Basically in today a society a man hands over all his power and a loaded gun she can use in shape of big daddy government.
And its not that ,, im not that kind of woman I wouldn't do that,,
Its that you have the potential to at any time.
Easy sex gives a lot less inventive to marry
Because take sex out of it and a man Dosnt need women.
As a guy I can't think of any benefits to me.
The juice isn't worth the squeeze.
Some guys the dumb ones would day go marry the one they love.
Let me put it like this, if 65% of people playing a game lose, you wouldn't play it. And another 15% keep playing because the have to. Leaving only what? 10_20% of winners?
80% of divorces are filed by women. Marriage has become a contract, a game where a man stands to lose everything and become a financial slave.37 Reply- +1 y
Disagree about the part where women don't benefit men besides sex. But I agree with the numerous institutional corruptions that give women the potential to shoot that "loaded gun" at any moment. And more guys now are aware of how hypergamy works, so they know even a good woman could start getting itchy trigger finger if she just holds that cocked gun long enough.
Anonymous(30-35)+1 y“it’s just a piece of paper”
It *is* just a piece of paper. I would enjoy a personalized wedding / bonding ritual, but I'm fine with a purely cultural marriage over a legal marriage. It's weird that women want the paper. I don't believe they generally intend to use divorce to rob men, but at the same time I don't see why it would be so important other that to rob men. Weird.
“there aren’t any women worth marrying”
Loads of women are too fixated on the "strong independent woman" archetype and don't set themselves up as desirable wife material. That and similar attitudes that are prevalent in modern female culture are also detrimental to their personalities. There's excessive arrogance, pride and a demand that men serve their needs, but without yielding ground themselves.
This relates to the phenomenon that women's demands and expectations increases exponentially with their own self-perceived worth. Whereas that's not so much the case for men. Many women try to flaunt degrees or careers and make demands on men to have those things. But I don't care about women having that stuff, so the female CEO and waitress are competing on the same level. So then, even when I can meet all their demands, the waitress is the one that isn't bitching at me about this stuff and isn't being demanding. Yet, so many woman are like "look at my career, look at my education, why can't I find a guy?" and what they seem to not get is that those things they are looking at are simply the wrong things. I don't care about that and so shoving it in my face is unattractive.
Make sense?10 ReplyPlenty of women that are WIFE material? Having premarital sex, wanting to hop from guy to guy if not happy, no godly standards or desire to have a marriage.
Manu of these women are NOT STABLE. they're told to play the field having premarital sex. That's why women like me who do have those values, and is a virgin they don't want me now because top manu women playing games. On top of that, so many people DON'T talk about this before dating they just date have sex, build pipedreams, shack up, have kids, already playing house. Why should they marry when you give them everything they want and don't set a standard? They can't trust anymore no different can I trust men on those levels beyond friendship anymore. I don't blame some of them.
They're are guys who Do desire marriage but hard to find that one partner to keep for life. And actually mean it. These days everybody have options. It was not like that back in the day.10 ReplyWhat is the upside for men? We get married, and like most, it isn't a good relationship, but for some stupid reason, we do. three years later, divorcing, and he get's screwed over, paying alimony?
Why? I don't see an upside for guys!! Ladies, please tell me why this it good for men, and don't say 'LOVE' or 'sex' because that stops with the ring!
There are a lot of wonderful women, amazing, women that I know, and like a lot!! Why can't we just be together, and just love each other, as we do, without some legal bond, that, in the end, seems to FCK the guy?40 ReplyI hate to say this but I've heard women say the same thing i think it has to do more with the fear of commitment men and women hear the statistics on marriage, domestic violence, a friend who says they just want to control you (mind you a person who says this may have their own motive this is a form of control threw fear), all women are gold diggers or just the product of seeing parents go threw a bad marriage and divorce there are good and bad men and women in the world unfortunately but we can't live in fear blaming one gender as a whole for the actions on one individual
00 Reply
+1 yI'm a strange one. I've always loved the idea of getting married to the girl I love. I've been planning a proposal since I was a kid in high school because I want to show her that the kind of guy she's marrying is fun, creative and imaginative, but can also be serious and passionate. Now my girlfriend shares my passion for it and although we're far away from being able to afford a wedding that we want, we've been planning it for fun for about a year constantly now, always adding new ideas to our brainstorm.
00 Reply
+1 yMen often think short-term, and therefore have a hard time avoiding divorce. And many men are willing to marry, you just won't meet them in clubs. Start telling potential suitors you intend to abstain from sex until marriage, it'll weed out all but the serious.
Another reason is marriage often has a religious component. Few men are truly devout, but they used to pretend so they could get laid. Now they no longer have to pretend any belief. Don't get too discouraged, I'm not the only man today who wants something serious.00 Reply
+1 yMany people, especially in the west, have been raised without the timeless wisdom that used to be common, also many are truly deficient inside themselves and are not marriage material themselves, and many are also carrying many fears and disappointments that make it hard to trust. My advice is first be best friends, without sex, for about 3-5 years, through some hardships, and even live together for at least a year, without sex, first. Then if both truly want to marry, and not just to unlock the nookie level, then it's marriage time and may their union be blessed. It may sound like a lot of trouble, but believe me, it's worth it. Marriage is sacred, treat it that way.
10 Reply
+1 yBecause this generation is waking up to how pointless marriage is as we all have access to the history of how modern marriage came to exist vs what marriage once was.
Look up “Adam ruins everything, marriage”.
He explains it with some humor. Makes it less boring.40 Reply
+1 yProbably because we don't want to lose half our stuff every time she decides to divorce us! Marriage is SUPPOSED to be a forever thing and most people today don't seem to know what "forever" means. They get married on a whim and, a few years, months, weeks or even days later, they don't want it anymore and end it, then go off to find someone else to marry for a few weeks.
They meet, they fuck, they get married and a few months later they break up! You're SUPPOSED to DATE someone steady for several months, if not a couple years, to find out if that's the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and THEN, if they are, marry them!
Today it's, "I think you're very pretty, I like your pussy, lets get married and THEN they start finding out if that's the right person!00 ReplyThis conversation is in my opinion, bigger than what was stated. It is also unfair that it is generalized down to just men not wanting to get married. I want to get married and have kids. Yet my wife is now divorcing me after being with her for 10 years, and all she has told me was we grew apart. After this it will be near impossible for me to want to marry again. This is one instance of hundreds of possible scenarios and simplifying this subject is unfair to both genders and anyone who becomes cautious of wanting to get married. Also what is wrong with taking your time to make sure the person you are with will want to be with you forever?
00 Reply
+1 yNothing protects the man if the wife decides to leave him for someone else. Men can get destroyed in divorce settlements, and western women are increasingly raised to view relationships as changeable and temporary, they want the big wedding but don't take the vows as seriously. Thats why I see a lot of men asking each other where the "wife material" girls are, and the answer is usually "head east". Feminism and women's lib has reduced marriage to a largely symbolic display, yet those same women can just up-end the marriage on a whim and walk away everything. Show me a man going through a divorce, 9 times out of 10 there's a ruthless ex-wife clawing for every scrap he owns, even his own kids. Society even encourages this because of the "protect all females" messaging. Marriage would mean more to men if it meant more to women. You can thank feminism for 50+ years of anti-marriage, anti-family, anti-male sloganeering and virtue-bullying.
00 ReplyToo much to lose honestly. Watched my dad get worked in the child support system to the tune of 200k from so called "good women" lol fuck that if we can't leave with what we came with on the off chance it doesn't work I'm not interested. Statistically women are more likely to get the kids and any money's regardless of her ability to financially care for them. Child support alimony naw I'm cool. I'm simple if things don't work out we just should part ways but seen too many vindictive acts with courts n shit
10 Reply
+1 yBecause women don’t really, act as if they want to get married. They might say they do, want a huge 30k wedding bash, but then they go out fck a few more to get their body count up and they do not need a man anyways. Maslow’s basic life needs are summarized as self-actualization, esteem, belongingness-and-love needs, safety needs, physiological needs (food, water, air, sex…) from least important to most. So according to Maslow, love is a need. If a woman believes she doesn’t need a man then she should just stay away from them except for a bang. >90% of women in the West are not fit for relationships let alone marriage.
00 Reply
+1 yBut there aren't any, It's an endless sea of jewish princesses and nagging lunatics. Even if there were I would wonder why someone would retire from a life of drinking freely and connoisseuring hentai to become what has been played up as Homer Simpson for that persons entire life.
Furthermore consider that judicial cases concerning divorce, custody and related matters is ruled with an at least noticable bias for the woman according to most men.
Conclusively you just might say that most men prefer not to get married because the negatives seem to outweigh the positives. Is what I've gathered by interacting with my own gender enough.10 ReplyThere are plenty I just seem to find women that are in it for financial gain. I went into my marriage debt free she convinced me to take out loans to renovate the house we bought together. After the renovations were complete she told me she's having an affair.. Only 4 years later was the divorce finalised. We were only married for 3. With me still stuck with the remainder of the loans.
I dated someone recently who even expected me to buy her household groceries because we were dating. Not even seriously. She admitted she didn't even have any feelings for me.
No thanks.10 Reply
+1 yI've observed that American women tend to approach marriage as a milestone and a status symbol more than anything else. The potential husband is then viewed as little more than a prop, and women try to secure the most impressive prop they can find to show off in front of their friends and family. It's worth noting that I don't have a problem with any of these motives, in principle, but on the timescale of marriage? Forget about it!!!
And what's in it for the husband? Not much really, at least not insofar as you could experience the same benefits in a committed relationship outside of legal marriage. Sure, married men statistically have more sex than unmarried men, but there's no guarantee and celibacy is orders of magnitude more tolerable when single than married. And let's not forget that married men also live longer statistically... but where is the logic in prolonging an unfavorable situation for the sake of prolongation? LOL00 Reply
Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 ySeveral reasons. First, the number of women who would make great wives is very low. Most women either have different priorities or they’re so picky that no guy is good enough. Add to that the divorce laws and family court system, which are heavily biased in favor of women, usually at men’s expense. Every man knows deep down that his wife can leave him whenever she wants, for any reason she chooses, and she can ruin him financially and prevent him from seeing his kids. Long story short, the risks of marriage far outweigh the benefits. It’s not worth it.
20 ReplyWomen are mostly not worth marrying. With my grandparents and before them there was the expectation that the woman would be a virgin, never divorce, and would prioritize raising the kids.
(Most) women nowadays will more likely not be pure for their husband (he should be as well but it's expected even more so of women), they can easily divorce him and take half or more of everything he's worked for including the kids, and women generally don't respect their man as much.
I want to marry and have kids but women benefit far more from marriage than men, especially in the long term. She has to be perfect or else I'm playing a losing game.00 Reply
+1 yHonestly with women having sex with like 20+ dudes by the age of 20 there isn't many women worth marrying.
It might sound sexist as fuck but it's humiliating for a man to marry a woman that has slept around, had mmf threesomes and possibly had sti infections.
Not to mention that it is a high risk monetarily if you get divorced not to mention that she gets to keep the kids and maybe even alymony.
Now a days women cheat as much and if not more than men. It's just not smart for a man to marry when if single we can enjoy hot 20 year olds up till we are 40 as men.
I for one am married and I love my wife to pieces. She's nice but I can see why many men wouldn't want most girls now a days10 Reply
+1 yBecause men are destroyed in divorces, women also file for 75% of divorce so it makes the whole thing seem like a scam. There's literally not a single positive thing in it for a man, it changes nothing for us. We don't usually change our name, we don't care about wearing a ring, we don't usually care about weddings since they are all about the bride. Not one single thing. But there is a huge sacrifice. So why bother?
10 ReplyI warmed up to it with the thought of building a family and children although I am in Japan. The divorce rates aren't so high here, and there's no concept of alimony after divorce and child support is minimal. So a lot of the arguments guys are applying in Western cultures against marriage don't apply so much here.
12 Reply- +1 y
This is why japan is thriving and the west is slowly regressing.
- +1 y
@SomeGuyCalledTom Unfortunately marriage rates are declining even though divorce rates are still relatively low. I think it's more due to the economy than anything else though in my opinion. Japanese tend to not marry of entertain the idea of children until they're relatively financially secured. But I have heard the concern of guys in places like the US about how marriage is rigged against them, and I do think that's a fair assessment... if a really successful man can get cut in half in terms of assets and finances by marrying the wrong one, then it certainly makes sense to be very hesitant here, if not downright against the idea.
1 yWomen are generally delusional, and you can tell by how they handle this simple fact; Women control
access to sex, but men control access to marriage.
Women think they have far too much power when dealing with a successful man and try to test him or play games and have almost zero desire to prove themselves. Most women find the idea of proving their worth offensive. This is mostly due to weak men or “beta-males” who have caused women to have inflated egos because they are desperate and will put up with anything. And the way women act today, ie calling themselves “strong/independent women” or a “girl-boss” and showing your ass and tits to everyone on social media only attracts desperate low value men who would simply has sex with any woman who allowed them to and maybe even support them financially as best they can, but we all know men like that dont make very much money.00 ReplyI mean, you say otherwise, but most western women are not wife material. They're not worthy of marriage. They want to do whatever they want. They look for leaders in the men they want to be with but then refuse to be led. Men want from a woman what we've always wanted since there have been humans on this planet, society can weaken men into accepting less, but not for long, but it cannot change that. Just like women want what they've always wanted. The difference is, women refuse to do their part. They want to go to the clubs, go on girl's nights out, have male friends. They want to live like their single while in a relationship. It is untenable. Why on earth should a man tie himself to such a liability?
00 Reply
+1 yso called men today dont want adulting life they want to be the go get me this because i said so type and not worry about anything. guys want marry till they actually grow up a bit and understand that life isn't a game or a best friend or some other third thing that they consider more important than being married.
00 ReplyI don't want to get married, because there is no point in getting married.
If anything, a woman who DOESN'T want to get married appears more romantic to me than one who insists on getting married, because, to me, people who want to get married simply want a crutch, some kind of a pretend "guarantee" that their relationship is going to last, and that's a red flag from the get-go.
You shouldn't feel the need to look for crutches in your relationship.00 ReplySilly alimony laws for ex wives in some countries are one reason, only idiots would marry there. It's a marriage and not an adoption of a handicapped and not self-sufficient person.
Otherwise it's just a piece of paper that can't heal a shitty relationship.00 Reply
+1 yMy boyfriend literally said the same thing. He saix he just dont believe being married represents how much you love someone. After seeing his bestfriend get married he told me he wants to give me that. He wants to marry me but at the right time.
Some guys never really seen and felt that special moment 2 people share while gettung married.03 Reply- +1 y
Marriage is essential to get the blessing of god so you become a family, bot only to sign some legal papers...
As your as your not married, you both don't have rights over each other and your still strangers to each other, also shouldn't have sex. - +1 y
@TonyMetal_1986
Respect your view on the topic.
We dont have rights over each other but we do genuinely love and trust each other. We plan on building a family and life together. Being married is something we both now want but at the right time and not just to call each other husband and wife. - +1 y
Well that's what i said, except you don'r acknowledge the rights part...
The rights are essential in a marriage, it is a commitment, where a man takes his role and the woman takes her role...
Anyways thanks for respecting my view.
It's a big risk for guys, with little or no reward. Divorce courts are notoriously biased, and without any perceivable gain why bother? A ring just increases liability and risk. If a woman is fine with cohabiting then really you gain nothing. Why would you?
00 Reply
+1 yOne thing is certain... I would Never take anything from him that I didn't work for. I'd marry because I want to be his wife and best friend for life. I want to be the only woman in the world that he wants and needs, and neither of us will give into temption from others because we truly love each other every day which we will show and tell.
10 ReplyI guess ideas of divorce, relationship might go down, financially worried about it, emotionally not ready, hurt from previous experience, doesn't want to change their life style yet or some other reasons I can't list etc
or some people just doesn't see it as a necessity/priority yet in their life and that's ok. Some people wouldn't want to get married regardless of gender.10 ReplyBecause of nihilism. Take a look, there might be some explanation here. Western nations were attacked decades ago and it's still ongoing.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/MPojltjv4M0https://www.youtube.com/embed/knOwcZ0y5IE014 Reply- +1 y
Oh look, you know how to make fun of a kid, how clever, how very in line with your precious Jordan Peterson's teaching, I mean, he is all about making fun of kids, isn't he. That's what I love about you conservative gits. You take yourselves so seriously and deep down you're just immature mama's boys.
- +1 y
@4mazing You make a lot of assumptions, Jordan Peterson is a civic nationalist for one thing. He despises ethnic nationalism. Had you mental faculties beyond those of a teenage boy you would understand that liking some things Jordan Peterson says doesn't mean being his disciple. You commies are as bright as the worst 4 chan Nazis , in fact you remind me of them quite a bit.
It is a piece of paper which complicates what once was a perfectly loving and happy relationship. You are now legally bound to each other you loose financial independence personal independence it is a scam girls are brainwashed from a young age to think marriage is true love but it is government propaganda to combine your finances at tax time to say you make to much money to get any extra credits encourages children which is backbone of the economy it is useless
10 ReplyBecause it's a puce of paper that entitles the non working partner half of the working partners possessions. That's why prenups come up a lot md women in general get very offended when in fact it's more of an insurance type policy in my opinion. Obv this is a gross generalization and does not completely apply to everyone on earth.
02 Reply- +1 y
They don't like prenups because then they can't steal from the man. Once again proving that women that insist on marriage are thieves.
+1 yA lot of guys are scared of their financial exposure in marriage. It's really terrifying to think that a woman (women are notorious for changing their minds about things super randomly, and a million-and-one things can go wrong in a marriage) could walk away with half of your life's work, simply because she woke up one day and decided that she didn't feel like being married to you anymore.
00 Reply- 435 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
+1 yThere aren't any wife material women. You are so wrong. If there is plenty please send one my way, I've never met one.
Also since divorce laws are so rough these days on men, a woman had to be 100% wife material. No deviation is acceptable. If im going to risk getting married she must be perfect.20 Reply
+1 yProperty snatches/gold diggers. You can have a child without signing away half or more of what you've got and what you will earn. Nothing prevents that, and you'd still pay child care if you were to separate - just not give HER money for cheating on you or dumping you.
115 Reply- +1 y
@becks3 No, no, I am not saying that, quite the contrary. It's only the fear of someone doing it to you on purpose without actually loving (or even liking) you genuinely - and than holding you over the barrel for both your family and your property - it would give an unscrupulous person too much power, and men are afraid because there is no reliable way to test anyone's intentions - especially if you fall for them.
I know that in Holland they have changed the property arrangement to not be 'share all in case of a divorce' by default for that reason - now the default is 'each keep their own'. Nothing prevents a woman from working, and I'd finance children to a good standard anyhow. In case she was to cheat though, I really would not like the added pain and embarrassment of losing half of everything as well. In case I was to leave, I'd give at least half, no problem - or otherwise make sure she is set up to be able to raise them.
20 years later, god bless, they are meant to be moving out and living their own lives anyhow - so what a wife has 'earned' in that period by raising children kind of depends on how much of the involved work she did - a father does it as well. i'd support anything sensible, but absolute power corrupts absolutely and neither side should have it. - +1 y
Yes but this concept rarely exists in real life. The way you and your fellow men here describe a woman sounds like a devil straight from hell who crawled out of it just to steal away all of your life.
I think its childish because how often does it happen that a women is so evil and divorces you out o no glod reason at all? Most of the time it's mutual and they see that the love has died down and both are becoming less happy over time. It's rarely all of a sudden and has reaaons both partners are responsible for. Don't make me look for cheating statistics I am sure they are at least somewhat even on gender (my dad cheated on my mom btw).
Most normal countries have reasonable laws for marriage. I don't get the concept of loosing your whole property because where I live the partner who earns more money has to pay for the divorce regardless of gender and you can only loose half of the wealth you have generated while married so not what you had before. And I think it's totally fair when a wife spends 20 years raising kids and and willingly gives up a carreer to have a stable family. Men act like women have nothing to loose in marriage but they do, so very much. After they are divorced they are looking into a big hole. They maybe have no job, no qualifications and no future because they gave everything when they were young. They will suffer poverty when they are old because they don't get enough pension. And the money she gets from the ex husband will just be enough to pay the bills and stay alive. This was the story of my mother and I know first hand she didn't have it easy. I won't say I don't understand you but this is the other side of the coin. We should understand both viewpoints. There is no "evil side" only different ones. - +1 y
@becks3 I don't know. About a decade ago the internet was full of posts about it - probably the tiny minority, but like any 'problem' on the internet it got blown out of proportion. Blame the facelessness of it. Or the fear of extremist feminism.
Have you seen the videos where TV show presenters laugh as a group about a man's penis being cut off? Once you see that level of hatred presented as the norm, you avoid any parts of the norm that can be a risk.
What you described as the legal view sounds about right - but in that case, most jurisdictions would consider you de facto married afeter 2 years of living together anyhow, and then look into the lost income for the stay-at-home-parent. In that sense, marriage is 'done for you'.
If the divorce is amicable, nothing stops you from sharing the property any way you like - are you angry at your dad for not making enough or for not giving your mom more - or at her for not working more along the way? It has little to do with (all, or other) 'men' - +1 y
I am not angry at my parents I just gave you a first hand experience that women can often be the ones who come out of marriage less fortunate than their husbands like it was in my familiy's case. A man might have to give alimony but at least he has a job working for 20 years, has been promoted and has experince. Things the women might not have.
I am angry at these men here who generelize women as evil money sucking monsters who only enter marriage for financial gain and are appearently all gold diggers.
I just hate the one sidedness therefore my commentary. - +1 y
@becks3 you clearly haven't seen how far some women can go in reducing their ex-husbands down to lifeless husks. The stories I've heard are pretty brutal, even my own uncle got the worse end of it. The problem is that ordinary women like yourself dont wanna face the true male costs of divorce. You prefer to believe "well, no smoke without fire", when actually its overwhelmingly women who initiate divorce; they overwhelmingly initiate divorce with zero 'warning' or effort to fix the relationship; and they overwhelmingly engage in attempts to pry the fathers from their kids, absprb all their wordly assets, and even try to destroy the father's reputation among his own family and friends. Go speak to a divorce lawyer with years of experience "who gets it worse from divorce courts?", they know what really goes on in that fucked up system.
- +1 y
@becks3 Yeah, it may be because women initiate, what - 60-80% of divorces. The act of marriage seems to give many a permission to now take it all for granted and expect the next level of - delivery of happiness by a man - I can tell you I am sticking to 'if you are happy with me then let's not change anything - and if you are not then let's not get married'. I don't want to go through the drama, and when there is no leverage over you, there is less to create drama with.
- +1 y
- +1 y
Thats not to discredit your own views and first-hand observations, of course divorce can be tough for women as well. I guess what I'm getting at is that the system is rigged at an institutional level to "reward" women for initiating divorce in as ruthless a manner as possible. With enough systemic incentives, and societal reinforcements of "the mother is always right", then opportunistic women can monopolise on whats seen as an "easy payday". Even if it destroy's the man's life in the process. Notice how most post-divorce depression and suicide is found in men, not women.
- +1 y
Do what works for you. But I for my part would not plan my life with a man who wouldn't want marriage because marriage is best for kids in my opinion and as woman I would always do what is best for my kids and the family they live in.
I would be way to worried about my partner suddenly leaving and then you are left alone with the kids.
Marriage brings tax benefits which means more left for the kids. I don't want to destroy a mans life I just want to garantee my family is stable amd secure for a long time. - +1 y
- +1 y
- +1 y
- +1 y
@becks3 "I don't want to destroy a mans life I just want to garantee my family is stable amd secure for a long time."
That's admirable and perfectly reasonable of you. But the fact remains there are plenty of women out there who have no such scruples. For a man to marry you, he'd have to be satisfied 100% that you would never resort to such dirty tactics in the event of a seperation. Unfortunately for women like you, it's the rotten ones who poisoned the well that everyone drinks from. All the more reason for such women to be named and shamed by their own female peers-- otherwise more and more of them are empowered to act out such dirty tactics. Which just makes even more men throw up hands and say "fuck it, I just won't marry at all, then my risk is 0%"
+1 y1. They don't want to risk losing what they brought into the relationship ( e. g., their house) if they divorce.
2. Because fathers and husbands seem to have no rights these days and what men say to mean nothing legally.
3. How many western police officers take a man seriously if he comes to them reporting that his wife beats him?
4. They can't be sure of the woman really loves or if she's just a golddigger.10 Reply
+1 yFor me I just haven’t met that person yet. Some guys just don’t feel ready. To be honest I don’t think people take the fact that you’re making a permanent decision very serious. Marriage has become like Fast food, just grab n go, but This is more permanent then a tattoo, it’s forever. Divorce isn’t an option.
00 Reply- 369 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
+1 yI’ve wanted marriage since kindergarten! rofl
And yes, I know there are plenty of wife material women for anyone!
I do also believe there are plenty of husband material men. I don’t know why they’re apparently hard for women to find, but I know they’re out there.10 Reply
Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 yBecause it is. And the guy especially has the most to loose generally if it ends up in a divorce. Think of it from the guy's perspective, would you risk your financial future? Literally. I've heard from some divorced guys that can barely survive financially now because of ex wives and/or child support. Would you like that if it was you?
10 ReplyBy saying that it shows they are trying to demean what marriage is. It's more like lack of commitment, not only for the couple but for the kids. Moving in with the boyfriend is just the start, see how things work out. then , we are ok why do we need to get married, sadly they usually have children. Big upheaval.
It's when you are at the move in situation , that's the time to see what he wants. If he waffles on , it's big signal whether to go ahead or walk away...00 ReplyMen don't need to get married to secure access to sex anymore. Plenty of women willing to hook up.
Other reasons may be because women don't want to marry in their 20's like they used to. They wait until they're approaching mid 30's and their fertility has cratered. Men want to have families of their own.00 ReplyIt's depend on country to country. if you see in asia there are lot of marriage scenes. but if you go to america or Europe there are lack of marriage system just like india and China. even divorce rate too high. so I would say there are problem related to social aspect.
00 ReplyActually there are plenty of guys who do. There are multiple reasons why marriage rates are dropping (and divorce for that matter) is due to women going to college and wanting to find compatible mates. So we marry later.
00 ReplyThe only reason people got married more often before was because it wasn't so acceptable to have sex before marriage so it was worth the trouble.
But now why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?00 ReplyCause it’s dangerous for us who’s to say that girl we love may not come back and want a divorce in 10-16 years and take almost everything we worked out whole lives for
20 ReplyGuys might want to eventually get married, though it mostly isn't a pressing problem for them of the present tense. They tend to have a more chilled out view and yet when they are indeed interested in someone for marriage, they will make themselves pretty clearly heard. :)
10 ReplyWhat man in his right mind would get married in this day and age?
There is not point in marriage when you have a 50% chance of divorce.
Divorce = losing most of your money and being a slave to alimony and child support until you fucking die.20 Reply
+1 yI don't want to go through the marriage process. Just seems like a waste of time and effort. I also dont want people who haven't talked to me in ages hitting me up about it. Very little about marriage sounds appealing enough for me to care about it.
00 Reply
+1 yI'm not sure it's a selfish question. No one enters into an agreement to become worse off then they were before. So, getting married should benefit the family her and him. If the gives and gets don't add up to a win, no one is going to get married
00 Reply
+1 yMarriage is legally and financially bad for men. There is no benefit for men, only penalties. For women there are no penalties, only benefits.
If a woman insists on legal marriage she is pretty much admitting she is a thief.01 Reply- +1 y
It is up to women to get the laws changed so men don't get screwed over. Make it so men don't lose any money, property, alimony, etc. and stop stealing their rights to their own children and then men will be interested in marriage.
Until that happens we will know that women that want marriage are just a bunch of thieves.
i dont want to get married and Im a girl. marriage is unneccessary
30 Reply
Anonymous(30-35)+1 yMy uncle once told me once you marry a woman they see you as a provider not as a lover. He got divorce a few years ago and doesn't want no paper to claim he is taken.
41 ReplyIf you want to marry those women then go do it. Obviously they aren't up to snuff for most men.
00 ReplyWhat's in it for me? I don't give a fuck about marriage. That is your dream. Always was. Your dream of your dress and your special day. Men get brainwashed into being a fucking sidekick to women's desires in life.
02 Reply- +1 y
Also, to add to the stories here, I've watched my father spend his entire working life providing for the family. He also found time to help out at home, get us kids up in the morning feed us, drive us off to the bus stop. He also planned special stuff for my mother's birthdays. But my mother was unhappy because they had moved abroad for my father's job, and she was lonely and unhappy in that country. And she took it all out on my dad. And that is why I don't believe in marriage. To have seen my father sacrifice everything, including his own health and happiness for this woman, and for him to be treated so awfully and for her to make all the decisions about how to spend the money he earned. Why the fuck should I go down that road? It's abusive. And society considers it normal.
- +1 y
I have something to add then, my mum worked a job while looking after the whole family and my dad would just sit down and watch TV all day. He refused to get a job, he refused to look after any of us. When my mum was in labour with me, she drove herself to the hospital because my dad would refuse to move. So she made food for my siblings before driving herself to the hospital to have me.
I still don't hate on men, after knowing how my father was. I still have belief that even after knowing how he lazy and awful of human he was, that I'll never marry anyone as awful as him.
He's a horrible human being, and I feel like people should know the other side of things too. That men can also ruin things. Because I'm so tired of reading how women screwed men over. When in fact, anyone can screw anyone over! There's so gender to it.
Women aren’t worth marrying. Majority of women are overly liberal feminists. Guys don’t want to marry a women like that
00 Reply
+1 yI see this question answered about ten times a day on here.
Divorce, divorce, divorce, divorce, divorce.00 ReplyIf it’s just a piece of paper then they shouldn’t have a problem getting it if that’s truly all it is.
00 Reply- Show More (57)
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!
Holidays
Girl's Behavior
Guy's Behavior
Flirting
Dating
Relationships
Fashion & Beauty
Health & Fitness
Marriage & Weddings
Shopping & Gifts
Technology & Internet
Break Up & Divorce
Education & Career
Entertainment & Arts
Family & Friends
Food & Beverage
Hobbies & Leisure
Other
Religion & Spirituality
Society & Politics
Sports
Travel
Trending & News
Most Helpful Opinions