Why don’t guys want to get married nowadays? (Page 2)
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Honestly with women having sex with like 20+ dudes by the age of 20 there isn't many women worth marrying.
It might sound sexist as fuck but it's humiliating for a man to marry a woman that has slept around, had mmf threesomes and possibly had sti infections.
Not to mention that it is a high risk monetarily if you get divorced not to mention that she gets to keep the kids and maybe even alymony.
Now a days women cheat as much and if not more than men. It's just not smart for a man to marry when if single we can enjoy hot 20 year olds up till we are 40 as men.
I for one am married and I love my wife to pieces. She's nice but I can see why many men wouldn't want most girls now a days
Because men are destroyed in divorces, women also file for 75% of divorce so it makes the whole thing seem like a scam. There's literally not a single positive thing in it for a man, it changes nothing for us. We don't usually change our name, we don't care about wearing a ring, we don't usually care about weddings since they are all about the bride. Not one single thing. But there is a huge sacrifice. So why bother?
I warmed up to it with the thought of building a family and children although I am in Japan. The divorce rates aren't so high here, and there's no concept of alimony after divorce and child support is minimal. So a lot of the arguments guys are applying in Western cultures against marriage don't apply so much here.
This is why japan is thriving and the west is slowly regressing.
@SomeGuyCalledTom Unfortunately marriage rates are declining even though divorce rates are still relatively low. I think it's more due to the economy than anything else though in my opinion. Japanese tend to not marry of entertain the idea of children until they're relatively financially secured. But I have heard the concern of guys in places like the US about how marriage is rigged against them, and I do think that's a fair assessment... if a really successful man can get cut in half in terms of assets and finances by marrying the wrong one, then it certainly makes sense to be very hesitant here, if not downright against the idea.
Women are generally delusional, and you can tell by how they handle this simple fact; Women control
access to sex, but men control access to marriage.
Women think they have far too much power when dealing with a successful man and try to test him or play games and have almost zero desire to prove themselves. Most women find the idea of proving their worth offensive. This is mostly due to weak men or “beta-males” who have caused women to have inflated egos because they are desperate and will put up with anything. And the way women act today, ie calling themselves “strong/independent women” or a “girl-boss” and showing your ass and tits to everyone on social media only attracts desperate low value men who would simply has sex with any woman who allowed them to and maybe even support them financially as best they can, but we all know men like that dont make very much money.
I mean, you say otherwise, but most western women are not wife material. They're not worthy of marriage. They want to do whatever they want. They look for leaders in the men they want to be with but then refuse to be led. Men want from a woman what we've always wanted since there have been humans on this planet, society can weaken men into accepting less, but not for long, but it cannot change that. Just like women want what they've always wanted. The difference is, women refuse to do their part. They want to go to the clubs, go on girl's nights out, have male friends. They want to live like their single while in a relationship. It is untenable. Why on earth should a man tie himself to such a liability?
so called men today dont want adulting life they want to be the go get me this because i said so type and not worry about anything. guys want marry till they actually grow up a bit and understand that life isn't a game or a best friend or some other third thing that they consider more important than being married.
I don't want to get married, because there is no point in getting married.
If anything, a woman who DOESN'T want to get married appears more romantic to me than one who insists on getting married, because, to me, people who want to get married simply want a crutch, some kind of a pretend "guarantee" that their relationship is going to last, and that's a red flag from the get-go.
You shouldn't feel the need to look for crutches in your relationship.
Silly alimony laws for ex wives in some countries are one reason, only idiots would marry there. It's a marriage and not an adoption of a handicapped and not self-sufficient person.
Otherwise it's just a piece of paper that can't heal a shitty relationship.
My boyfriend literally said the same thing. He saix he just dont believe being married represents how much you love someone. After seeing his bestfriend get married he told me he wants to give me that. He wants to marry me but at the right time.
Some guys never really seen and felt that special moment 2 people share while gettung married.
Marriage is essential to get the blessing of god so you become a family, bot only to sign some legal papers...
As your as your not married, you both don't have rights over each other and your still strangers to each other, also shouldn't have sex.
@TonyMetal_1986
Respect your view on the topic.
We dont have rights over each other but we do genuinely love and trust each other. We plan on building a family and life together. Being married is something we both now want but at the right time and not just to call each other husband and wife.
Well that's what i said, except you don'r acknowledge the rights part...
The rights are essential in a marriage, it is a commitment, where a man takes his role and the woman takes her role...
Anyways thanks for respecting my view.
It's a big risk for guys, with little or no reward. Divorce courts are notoriously biased, and without any perceivable gain why bother? A ring just increases liability and risk. If a woman is fine with cohabiting then really you gain nothing. Why would you?
One thing is certain... I would Never take anything from him that I didn't work for. I'd marry because I want to be his wife and best friend for life. I want to be the only woman in the world that he wants and needs, and neither of us will give into temption from others because we truly love each other every day which we will show and tell.
I guess ideas of divorce, relationship might go down, financially worried about it, emotionally not ready, hurt from previous experience, doesn't want to change their life style yet or some other reasons I can't list etc
or some people just doesn't see it as a necessity/priority yet in their life and that's ok. Some people wouldn't want to get married regardless of gender.
Because of nihilism. Take a look, there might be some explanation here. Western nations were attacked decades ago and it's still ongoing.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/MPojltjv4M0https://www.youtube.com/embed/knOwcZ0y5IEJordan Peterson lol. The guy who doesn't believe in climate change and thinks the biggest problem the world is facing is woke university students. He's a smart guy, but he's also seriously weird.
@4mazing Climate change is bull shit so no surprise he doesn't believe in it. It's a scam to rob the public through "carbon tax" anyone with any brains knows that. Also Peterson knows that creeping Marxism is an existential threat.
Wow that's fascinating, you have to tell me more about this fiendishly clever scheme...
Well yes, he would do, wouldn't he? The dumb fuck complains about being depressed when he has chosen to decorate his home with reminders of the fucking gulag. How fucking moronic can you be?
@4mazing He could be listening to Gretta Turdburg and sucking soy milk with his antifa buddies.
Oh look, you know how to make fun of a kid, how clever, how very in line with your precious Jordan Peterson's teaching, I mean, he is all about making fun of kids, isn't he. That's what I love about you conservative gits. You take yourselves so seriously and deep down you're just immature mama's boys.
@4mazing Careful your wonderful government doesn't lock you up for "hate speech".
I'm always amused when people promote their ideas through public speaking but simultaneously refuse to acknowledge that speech can have real-world consequences. It's a remarkably thoughtless argument.
@4mazing I bet you think this over real good rotting in a stinking gulag. All about how they lead you around by the nose and tricked out of your ability to speak your mind. Happens to a lot of pseudo intellectual types.
I love that someone who slavishly follows Jordan Peterson and doesn't possess the critical faculties to not fall for climate deniers' propaganda is lecturing others about being tricked by demagoguery.
@4mazing You make a lot of assumptions, Jordan Peterson is a civic nationalist for one thing. He despises ethnic nationalism. Had you mental faculties beyond those of a teenage boy you would understand that liking some things Jordan Peterson says doesn't mean being his disciple. You commies are as bright as the worst 4 chan Nazis , in fact you remind me of them quite a bit.
Is everyone who disagrees with you a commie?
@4mazing No some are Nazis or civic nationalist but I know a commie by his posts. You're so party line I bet you got some Soros money for coming on here. No one actually believes that shit.
Climate change denial and antisemitism. How entirely unsurprising.
@4mazing Antisemitism, you're not even earning our check now. Not that I care, let Soros waste his money.
It is a piece of paper which complicates what once was a perfectly loving and happy relationship. You are now legally bound to each other you loose financial independence personal independence it is a scam girls are brainwashed from a young age to think marriage is true love but it is government propaganda to combine your finances at tax time to say you make to much money to get any extra credits encourages children which is backbone of the economy it is useless
Because it's a puce of paper that entitles the non working partner half of the working partners possessions. That's why prenups come up a lot md women in general get very offended when in fact it's more of an insurance type policy in my opinion. Obv this is a gross generalization and does not completely apply to everyone on earth.
What century are you living in though? Women work these days too just letting you know 💀
And in some cases the woman is working and the guy isn't, like... Just marry a woman who has career ambitions then it's sorted, she's not gonna put her career on the line at all.
They don't like prenups because then they can't steal from the man. Once again proving that women that insist on marriage are thieves.
A lot of guys are scared of their financial exposure in marriage. It's really terrifying to think that a woman (women are notorious for changing their minds about things super randomly, and a million-and-one things can go wrong in a marriage) could walk away with half of your life's work, simply because she woke up one day and decided that she didn't feel like being married to you anymore.
There aren't any wife material women. You are so wrong. If there is plenty please send one my way, I've never met one.
Also since divorce laws are so rough these days on men, a woman had to be 100% wife material. No deviation is acceptable. If im going to risk getting married she must be perfect.
Property snatches/gold diggers. You can have a child without signing away half or more of what you've got and what you will earn. Nothing prevents that, and you'd still pay child care if you were to separate - just not give HER money for cheating on you or dumping you.
Yeah because if you were to leave her fuck her too am I right? Raising your kids for 20 years isn't worth anything. You just want to spite someone. Men have no empathy for this situation, they'll never understand.
@becks3 No, no, I am not saying that, quite the contrary. It's only the fear of someone doing it to you on purpose without actually loving (or even liking) you genuinely - and than holding you over the barrel for both your family and your property - it would give an unscrupulous person too much power, and men are afraid because there is no reliable way to test anyone's intentions - especially if you fall for them.
I know that in Holland they have changed the property arrangement to not be 'share all in case of a divorce' by default for that reason - now the default is 'each keep their own'. Nothing prevents a woman from working, and I'd finance children to a good standard anyhow. In case she was to cheat though, I really would not like the added pain and embarrassment of losing half of everything as well. In case I was to leave, I'd give at least half, no problem - or otherwise make sure she is set up to be able to raise them.
20 years later, god bless, they are meant to be moving out and living their own lives anyhow - so what a wife has 'earned' in that period by raising children kind of depends on how much of the involved work she did - a father does it as well. i'd support anything sensible, but absolute power corrupts absolutely and neither side should have it.
Yes but this concept rarely exists in real life. The way you and your fellow men here describe a woman sounds like a devil straight from hell who crawled out of it just to steal away all of your life.
I think its childish because how often does it happen that a women is so evil and divorces you out o no glod reason at all? Most of the time it's mutual and they see that the love has died down and both are becoming less happy over time. It's rarely all of a sudden and has reaaons both partners are responsible for. Don't make me look for cheating statistics I am sure they are at least somewhat even on gender (my dad cheated on my mom btw).
Most normal countries have reasonable laws for marriage. I don't get the concept of loosing your whole property because where I live the partner who earns more money has to pay for the divorce regardless of gender and you can only loose half of the wealth you have generated while married so not what you had before. And I think it's totally fair when a wife spends 20 years raising kids and and willingly gives up a carreer to have a stable family. Men act like women have nothing to loose in marriage but they do, so very much. After they are divorced they are looking into a big hole. They maybe have no job, no qualifications and no future because they gave everything when they were young. They will suffer poverty when they are old because they don't get enough pension. And the money she gets from the ex husband will just be enough to pay the bills and stay alive. This was the story of my mother and I know first hand she didn't have it easy. I won't say I don't understand you but this is the other side of the coin. We should understand both viewpoints. There is no "evil side" only different ones.
@becks3 I don't know. About a decade ago the internet was full of posts about it - probably the tiny minority, but like any 'problem' on the internet it got blown out of proportion. Blame the facelessness of it. Or the fear of extremist feminism.
Have you seen the videos where TV show presenters laugh as a group about a man's penis being cut off? Once you see that level of hatred presented as the norm, you avoid any parts of the norm that can be a risk.
What you described as the legal view sounds about right - but in that case, most jurisdictions would consider you de facto married afeter 2 years of living together anyhow, and then look into the lost income for the stay-at-home-parent. In that sense, marriage is 'done for you'.
If the divorce is amicable, nothing stops you from sharing the property any way you like - are you angry at your dad for not making enough or for not giving your mom more - or at her for not working more along the way? It has little to do with (all, or other) 'men'
I am not angry at my parents I just gave you a first hand experience that women can often be the ones who come out of marriage less fortunate than their husbands like it was in my familiy's case. A man might have to give alimony but at least he has a job working for 20 years, has been promoted and has experince. Things the women might not have.
I am angry at these men here who generelize women as evil money sucking monsters who only enter marriage for financial gain and are appearently all gold diggers.
I just hate the one sidedness therefore my commentary.
@becks3 you clearly haven't seen how far some women can go in reducing their ex-husbands down to lifeless husks. The stories I've heard are pretty brutal, even my own uncle got the worse end of it. The problem is that ordinary women like yourself dont wanna face the true male costs of divorce. You prefer to believe "well, no smoke without fire", when actually its overwhelmingly women who initiate divorce; they overwhelmingly initiate divorce with zero 'warning' or effort to fix the relationship; and they overwhelmingly engage in attempts to pry the fathers from their kids, absprb all their wordly assets, and even try to destroy the father's reputation among his own family and friends. Go speak to a divorce lawyer with years of experience "who gets it worse from divorce courts?", they know what really goes on in that fucked up system.
@becks3 Yeah, it may be because women initiate, what - 60-80% of divorces. The act of marriage seems to give many a permission to now take it all for granted and expect the next level of - delivery of happiness by a man - I can tell you I am sticking to 'if you are happy with me then let's not change anything - and if you are not then let's not get married'. I don't want to go through the drama, and when there is no leverage over you, there is less to create drama with.
@becks3 Plus you are angry and screaming your arguments at me - I just lost some aspiration to get married based on that.
Thats not to discredit your own views and first-hand observations, of course divorce can be tough for women as well. I guess what I'm getting at is that the system is rigged at an institutional level to "reward" women for initiating divorce in as ruthless a manner as possible. With enough systemic incentives, and societal reinforcements of "the mother is always right", then opportunistic women can monopolise on whats seen as an "easy payday". Even if it destroy's the man's life in the process. Notice how most post-divorce depression and suicide is found in men, not women.
Do what works for you. But I for my part would not plan my life with a man who wouldn't want marriage because marriage is best for kids in my opinion and as woman I would always do what is best for my kids and the family they live in.
I would be way to worried about my partner suddenly leaving and then you are left alone with the kids.
Marriage brings tax benefits which means more left for the kids. I don't want to destroy a mans life I just want to garantee my family is stable amd secure for a long time.
@becks3 Be careful your fear doesn't drive you just where you are hoping not to go. Good luck.
How can you tell if I am screaming by text?
I was actually calmly writing these lines and I thought we had a civilised conversation so far but it seams I was wrong and you can't agnolidge a womans side in this matter. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt but ok.
@becks3 You're adversarial. You don't seem to notice it either.
@becks3 Such a lack of self-insight will drive a man away.
@becks3 "I don't want to destroy a mans life I just want to garantee my family is stable amd secure for a long time."
That's admirable and perfectly reasonable of you. But the fact remains there are plenty of women out there who have no such scruples. For a man to marry you, he'd have to be satisfied 100% that you would never resort to such dirty tactics in the event of a seperation. Unfortunately for women like you, it's the rotten ones who poisoned the well that everyone drinks from. All the more reason for such women to be named and shamed by their own female peers-- otherwise more and more of them are empowered to act out such dirty tactics. Which just makes even more men throw up hands and say "fuck it, I just won't marry at all, then my risk is 0%"
1. They don't want to risk losing what they brought into the relationship ( e. g., their house) if they divorce.
2. Because fathers and husbands seem to have no rights these days and what men say to mean nothing legally.
3. How many western police officers take a man seriously if he comes to them reporting that his wife beats him?
4. They can't be sure of the woman really loves or if she's just a golddigger.
For me I just haven’t met that person yet. Some guys just don’t feel ready. To be honest I don’t think people take the fact that you’re making a permanent decision very serious. Marriage has become like Fast food, just grab n go, but This is more permanent then a tattoo, it’s forever. Divorce isn’t an option.