Would you regret it more If you never had kids or never married / found love?
Which is more important: kids or marriage?
What is your opinion?
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Guru Age: 63 , mho 73%+1 yI voted "Marriage/True Love". Its not that kids, are unimportant or to be ignored. They need love and great care to teach them to be responsible and independent. They need to know their parents love them - always, even after they move out!
That's my point... the kids WILL move out from under the parents roof. At that point, those same two people will be back together as a couple instead of raising kids. It's far more important to consider the long term situation, because kids are a temporary situation in the house.
When my stepdaughter was about 16, she started some argument between my wife and I. I told her to knock it off, because that tactic to pit her mother and I against each other isn't going to happen. I flat out told her, in front of my wife, that she WILL be leaving the house in a few years while her mother and I would continue living together - without her being there. She was shocked to think she wouldn't be living with mommy (without me in the picture) in the future. But she got the message, this was OUR house and WE made the rules here, not her.03 Reply- +1 y
So your daughter loses all her significance just cus she’s loved out of the house? She’s no longer a priority just cus she will end up living apart soon?
Tells much more about you as a parent than anything else. Kids are magical beings of yours but that’s only if you are the type of person who can see that - +1 y
You missed my point completely.
Most Helpful Opinions
- Master Age: 28 , mho 34%+1 y
Having never had either though, I don't know what I'm missing, but I think I'd
probably regret not finding love more.
The idea of having kids doesn't sound too appealing to me personally, but the idea of finding that someone who you connect with, sounds nice, though I don't think marriage is necessary for commitment, to me, as I'm not religious.00 Reply
Xper 4 Age: 26 , mho 44%+1 yThe two go together. A happy marriage produces happy kids. Statistically speaking kids are drastically more likely to become successful when they have two parents in their lives (there are people who beat the statistics, but their chances are much lower than kids with two parents). Presumably the "two parent" thing works out best when both parents are in a loving relationship.
In many ways I can attest to this from personal experience. My parents were the best parents were the best parents possible to me in almost every way except one: the relationship they had with each other. My parents had a pretty bad relationship with each other and it had a highly negative impact on both me and my siblings. I don't want to bash on my parents because they did so many things right, but they did do that one thing very wrong. The idea that your relationship with your spouse has no impact on your kids is very false. The quality of relationship kids see their parents have will have a drastic impact on them. I know from experience.10 Reply
449 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. 1000% kids, I cannot imagine life without them
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Get married then have kids. Don't have kids before you marry unless circumstances suggests you have no choice after you made the choice (in most cases). You can always adopt. But solidify your marroage FIRST. You don't want to just have kids with anyone.
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Then get married. You can't have it both ways. These are other people's lives you fool around with if you don't do the right thing. Kids are not toys. Their people. And if you don't make the right choices and have them in a stable environment you going to ruin their lives. It's best not to have kids if nobody wants to get married.
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You don’t need to get married in order to have kids. You just need to find someone who loves and appreciates children equally as much as you. I plan on just finding a decent man who loves children and just have kids with him. As long as both parents love the kid immensely, it is better than marrying the wrong person then stay stuck in an unhappy marriage where mom and dad are always fighting
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Yes you do. Because once you have sex sex is a marriage and marriage is always about having sex. Even if you don't legally get married, you still getting married and wanted you have sex. Having somebody who loves and appreciates children doesn't guarantee anything because you're still creating an environment and you're also destroying and environment. Most children do not understand the reason why they are born and many if not all of us do not ask to be born. And the moment you start doing that you are doing it out of your own selfishness and therefore your own child can end up with a bad future because you're setting up a future that is not good for them. You still in a marriage with that person just not legally. It's not better because you're actually making it worse. You will have far less protections on married and you will marry. And marriage is never about happiness. Marriage will always have fighting. And you still have that fighting and if you're not married. You're not going to avoid it. It is what it is. That's why I tell people all the time and you can't handle it you should not have children and you should stay single you. You Can't Always Get What You Want. That is not how life works. If you're not careful you going to make your own child have resentment towards you, because of your Reckless decisions.
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Because what you're saying you're allowing a man to not really respect you and you're saying you can walk out anytime. And that's exactly what he will do once he gets tired of you. At least when you're married, you going to be held to a greater accountability he will not have a choice the same way you're not going to have a choice. A man who wants to commit to you would just commit to you. There's nothing to hold him down or a woman down to responsibilities when you're not married. The only protection you'll ever have will be child support and that's going to be that you're not going to really have anything. Or else you're going to have to be on government assistance. And that's not easy to get.
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Once you have sex you can't turn back. You tied to them until the day one of you die. Why do you think so many people who end up engaging in sexual practices especially if it's on the healthy they create unhealthy soul ties and it turns them mad? Some end up in psych wards, want to commit suicide. Some succeed, others fail. And then you just got people who go crazy and then they want to kill you. you don't want to have kids or just tie down with anyone. Because you don't know what you're birthing into this world, with who, and why. Only you can guarantee what you can do in offer into a marriage. Just like only the other person can guarantee what they can offer into a marriage. You're not going to avoid those things by not getting married. You going to deal with that the moments you get yourself involved with a person. Especially when it ends up sexual because now you're creating totality. You want to avoid those things you have two choices. Why the change your mindset, change what's in you that's not good and healthy so you won't attract the wrong kind of person and you end up doing the wrong things. Or even if you end up with the right person. You end up doing the wrong thing you still going to have that same result, it's just that the other person that is the right person and I no longer want to be with him and they're going to have to have that with another person. Or your best to do as I have always done and stay single. Before you put yourself in a bind you going to have no choice but to deal with. Because if you God forbid end up with a serious problem, a lot of people are not going to feel sorry for you and they're going to say you should have thought about this before you done it. Don't make others mistakes because they have no choice but to live it.
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He will not need to walk out on me because we were never together, in the first place. We are connected by a child , which we both desperately wanted and appreciate. Even if we have a bad relationship, a man who loves loves kids would always keep in touch with his own child. Men who just abandon their kids are bad people in general which is why I am very selective with the type of guy that I have kids with.
Getting married is not as simple as you think. Why do you think couples get divorced all the time? Because they married the wrong person and now they are unhappy. A child cannot have a decent upbringing when he grows up in a mad house where mom and dad are yelling and cursing at each other everyday. And when parents are angry, they tend to release their anger out on the kids. Very common thing
Marriage is not a joke where you just marry whoever you have sex with. You are making the decision for them to be your life partner , not sex partner - +1 y
If you have this attitude you definitely don't need to have children. Because you are showing you have poor and negative you about sex, marriage life, love, children, Parenthood, relationships, dating, etcetera everything points that you are not in the sense of reality.
If you actually think that way about men you should not be involved with a man at all. You been connected with a child have nothing to do with it. A man can attach and detach it will he can make his own decisions. We women do not have that Liberty. And not every man who leads a relationship and doesn't keep contact with the child is not a bad man. Some men have their own reasons for not being in contact with them. It's not about you being selective it's about getting married.. No couples get divorced because they're selfish and Studies have proven and showing overtime that those who have premarital sex especially before they were 18 years old and shacked up before marriage have an increased risk of getting a divorce. Particularly women who have more than two sex partners. No they do not get married to the wrong person and not now on Happy. An unhappy person is just unhappy. And I have study that also proven that a miserable person is just a miserable person. If they were miserable before they dated and married they will still be the same miserable person after they date and get married. That's why you got to get yourself in order before you end up getting yourself involved with another individual. You are looking to invest in another person's life. You don't want to just barge into it. - +1 y
And I could personally disagree with you with that especially as somebody who grew up in that kind of environment. A decent upbringing has to do with having structure, moral, and living a life that you also want for your kids. You must practice what you preach. A child can still be a good person and go through all of that. What a child can end up becoming just like your parents and still go through all of that. I have grew up in that kind of environment. And I still turned out okay. What you're talkin about is destructive and unhealthy. These are just people who don't know how to handle a proper relationship. It has nothing to do with marrying the wrong person that just people that are toxic and unhealthy. They'll do that with anybody they are with.
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A sex partner is still your marriage partner. But who you marry legally is still your personal choice. That's why there is sin and they are things that aren't. You still have to make informative choices and you can't just have sex just to have sex. Because it's going to be the same thing even if you're not married. You already made them your life partner the moment you lose your virginity to a person. They just may or may not be in your life and that is still a personal choice between you and that individual or yours alone. Everything in his life is a choice. When you get married and it don't matter how much you yelling and screaming argue with each other. You are still married at the end of the day. If you don't like it, change. Or just stay unmarried. What that teeth is a child is that they can't trust you for Jack's what. Anything you try to teach them they going to learn themselves or they're going to learn from other people who are the most sane in the brain. And I can say this as a child who done it. I can say this who is friends with people who also done it. It is a choice. And my friends who are now married and made the same decisions can tell you the same thing even for the ones who got divorced. You are sadly misinformed. Everything you talk about is exactly why people are in that rut. You just going to make the same mistakes. But whether you do it worse or better than your parents, it is entirely up to you. But none the less the same mistake.
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Because everything I'm telling you add tell my own pants that growing up as a child and that's what makes it very sad. When you have to have your own child telling you how to be married. You got to be a team player. Just because you get married that does not change. It's just that some people they were better off before they got married and then you got other that do better because they got married. There are some that were better off as people because they didn't have children, and then you got people that were already good and they did better when they had children. Or even those who never believe that they will be good with children and then all the sudden what they have kids they became better people. You got to give it a chance if that's the life you really want. It's okay to be afraid, but you can't let fear control you and allow you to steer you in the wrong direction and now you going to make permanent choices you can't turn the clock on. That's how serious it is. If you don't take it seriously from the beginning nobody else is going to take you seriously. Your own kid won't take you seriously. Some of them may God forbid want somebody else to be a parent because you can't parent them. You'll be there birth parents. But there's a difference between being a birth parent and being a mom or a dad. Most people grow up having a mother and father as parents but not everybody has a mom and a dad and may not be their biological ones.
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I don’t believe that any parent needs to live an unhappy life with a lot of fighting and yelling and anger especially around kids. I don’t want my son to grow up thinking that mom and dad are supposed to be unhappy fighting or that yelling should be a normal thing around the house. I also do not want to release my frustrations on my child due to unhappy marriage. This is the reality of marrying someone you do not love.
Kids need a healthy happy strong home in order to be the best. No child likes hearing fighting everyday.
sex is also very meaningless nowadays. Casual sex is everywhere and most people lose virginity before marriage to someone else other than their husbands. Many girls lose virginity at 16-20. But they end up marrying at 30. Virginity really should not define who you want to spend life with.
We all want to find love and get married and have kids in the perfect world but marrying absolutely anyone will not always be a happy result - +1 y
Look. Would you need to understand is that marriage and life does not give a damn about what you believe and what you don't believe. If you don't believe that any parent should live with unhappy life with a lot of fighting and yelling then they need to stop with the arguing, the fighting, and the yelling. Stop being unhappy and learn to build your own happiness with the net marriage that's your new life now. If you don't want your son to grow up with that, then be responsible to not do that. If you don't want to release your frustrations on your child then don't do it. If you don't love a person then don't be getting married. Don't have sex with them. You are called to love and it is an order to love. If you want them to be in a strong happy home then you must build that. You going to have fighting everyday it was a you are the problem is that you argue fairly.
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Listen, sex is only meaningless unless you make it meaningless. If you don't want sex to be meaningless then you get married then have sex and you get involved with a person who equally share your values. You don't go around somebody who wasn't a virgin and you can't guarantee you're going to be happy with them. You don't go around dating somebody who believe in casual sex and already has that kind of past. You don't go around dating somebody who masturbates and watches pornography and is subjected to themselves to that and then you want to complain about how your sex life is. And at this point you can't worry about all the girls and women who lose their virginity at those ages. But a lot of them don't stay married and a lot of them are unhappy because they made those choices. Virginity does Define you it is you. I should know I'm a virgin myself and it does matter. Because everything we talkin about reflects everything why people aren't happy! Do you not understand that sex is a part of what you choose a gift from your spirit! It is of your Spirit, your soul it has nothing to do with your body. But what you choose to partake in it with your body! That is due to ignorance because you lack of knowledge and wisdom. Without it you perish and you cause your Offspring and your generation to parish.
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You can't find love. Because it's not to be found. It's what is to be given. And if you want love in your life and you must already have it within you. It is for you to give in to share not just for you to be given too or just have. If you want married you get married. It's not about having a perfect world but it's about what your perception is for your life. And if you want Perfection you must work for it. Just like I strive for Perfection and my classes as a college student, I work for it and I obtain can I receive. Because I've worked for it. You can't worry about what other people do in the world you can only be concerned about what you choose to do. Because once a man comes into your life he's going to judge you for the fruit and the laborers that you do. And what's your lack thereof. A man needs a help meet. And if you're not that help meet, then you will be without a man by your side. A man has to be able to depend on you just as much as you need to be able to depend on him. He has to see that by The Works of your labor the same way you got to see him flavor. That's why he goes to your friends, that's why he goes to his teachers, that's why he checks people at your job, that's why he goes to your family, because he has to know who you were before you met him. He has to see who you were when you was in your mama's belly and your baby pictures before he knows what kind of woman you become today. He has to see that. Both the good and bad and he must decide with good judgment if you are somebody that is most qualifiable as a mate. It's very much important because it's you. It is what makes a person recognizes your existence. Because if you have no existence, then you have no life. If you have no life, then you're just a walking Corpse basically. You have a soul for a reason. A soul that has a conscious and unconscious to recognize good and evil, moral versus what is immoral. He will judge you. He's not going to look at other women if he's only going to see you.
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That's the more important reason why I kept myself. Because I understand all of that. And it starts by loving who I am and all that I am because of everything that my late mother gave to me since the moment of my conception and birth. When I see baby pictures of me and my mom and the love that she has giving me, whether verbally or non-verbally, it's things that she instilling Within my spirit. The same with my father. The point being is that as you get older and you grow up as a child, you can experience love and you can have that love taken away too by the very people who supposed to give you that love. Or being neglected. And that can actually affect the way how you perceive and give love. I have experienced all of it. And that's what made me have an anxious attachment Style. Where I want but now I also do not desire. How can I have a stable relationship or marriage with a person when my own attachment style is not stable? I will be giving him my own toxicity and that toxicity will be going to my children through me. And I will be the one that not only has to carry for 9 months I would be accountable spiritually as well as physically for knowing. That is irresponsible. And then you'll be creating a cycle of Torment, and unhappiness just like my family has for so many years.
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Do you know that runs in my side of the family? Abusive marriages, relationships, divorces and remarriage besides fornication and adultery? You think I'm going to be stupid enough to pass that on? I'm not even thinking about being a mother and already I'm thinking as a mother. That's Parenthood. That's responsibility. That doesn't begin the moment you start becoming a parent. Me being wife doesn't begin the moment I get married. It begins now. And that's what you be judged by. That's why I tell people as well as young kids. Don't have sex before marriage and do not follow other people choose to do panic because what you do now is going to follow you as you get older. The past doesn't have to Define you if you don't make yourself have a bad past you going to regret talking about. I don't want or need that shame hanging on my head. I don't care what any other woman choose to do. I care about what I choose to do. Just like I don't care what any other man choose to do. Is that person expects to be in my life he just better hope that he hasn't done things I will not tolerate or accept. Because I owe no one a relationship just like they don't own me a relationship. And that's final.
Yes, we are to love everybody. But we do not have to love someone romantically if we don't want to. - +1 y
So don't be with somebody you know you're going to eventually hate. That's why I don't throw the word love around cuz I take it very seriously. I believe in responsibility and accountability. If you're going to do whatever it is that they want it's free will. But they are responsible for their choices and they have nobody else to blame but themselves. I don't pity people who make excuses for their own actions. Especially when it's unreasonable and it's illogical. it's not that hard to stop hurting each other, this is hard for people to change because they don't want to change. Don't do it? don't complain when trouble starts. Mature Adults fix their problems. Immature adults who act like immature Children whine and complain about it. Huge difference.
A good husband is mature, respects and they honor you. They do what they have to do when they don't complain about what needs to be done. They don't fight with you for the sake of fighting. They work along with you. You'll have your dispute, but you learn to argue reasonably. You don't raise your voice at each other, you learn to listen to each other not just be hearers. Be doers as well. But together. Love is a choice. So when you say you love somebody you give your all no matter what. You will have your miserable days and you will have your sunny days. But what matters is that you have a partner that is able to be with you throughout all of it and still love you and you both change together for the better. As long as you have that you don't have to worry about your children feeling a certain way. Because they're going to go through it with their own friends and people when they grow up too. It's part of life and you can't avoid it. I grew up with that conflict everyday I hate it too. But I've learned so much about marriage through it and now I impart those same lessons to you. Don't run away from what's hard. Because the best things in life doesn't come easy. - +1 y
Just like I wanted to be a college student, what do you think that means? That means I'm in a marriage contract with my college the moment I applied for it. And I had to meet certain qualifications too. Just like when I apply for work I get a job, I end up in a marriage with them. And that everybody fit the bill do They? The same rule applies.
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I think that life would be very unhappy and unfulfilling If you are married to someone who you cannot have fun with. You will keep thinking to yourself “ what If I meet someone who can fulfill me?”.
And not only this , if you marry someone who is not right for you, it’s very difficult to not fight. Many divorced couples fight which is why they chose to divorce. When you are unhappy with someone , It is very very hard to not be angry with them especially if you are around them all day. You are going to commit adultery if you don’t love your spouse. This is why marriage is very serious and you should not just marry any random guy. Always marry someone you love or you have fun with. Because you cannot be happy being married to someone you don’t like or someone you cannot have fun with.
It’s only a matter of time before you get divorced. Unless you enjoy being sad and unhappy for life , then you should marry someone who you don’t love.
But if I cannot find a husband , it shouldn’t mean I can’t enjoy children. I value kids more than husband. There are many parents who marry the wrong spouse then divorced. Now they are single moms with kids. Be very careful about who you marry - +1 y
So here is the solution for you if this is all of your concerns.
1. "I think that life would be very unhappy and unfulfilling If you are married to someone who you cannot have fun with." BEFRIEND men who you feel you have a connection with the hobbies, desires for the future, etc with. What do you consider fun? Do you like bungee jumping? Connect with men who like it too. Do you like to travel? Maybe join a group who are travel experts, expats [don't know how to spell it], etc. There is so MUCH you can do to screen out men who you can have fun with. If they can't be a good friend, don't have them as a potential lover.
2. "You will keep thinking to yourself “ what If I meet someone who can fulfill me?”." That is not a man's job. That is YOUR JOB. If your not fulfilled as a person, then you will just be miserable and make another person miserable. That's not fair to them. They deserve to be with a woman who is equally happy and enjoys life as they do. They want POSITIVE people.
3. "And not only this , if you marry someone who is not right for you, it’s very difficult to not fight." This is your fear and perception. That is untrue. You can mary somebody who is right for you and STILL fight. In marriage and dating, you WILL have your fights. It is not avoidable. It is said that a couple who doesn't have don't have a healthy marriage. It often means their avoiding problems that will lead to a blowup. It's normal to have disagreements. It's not NORMAL to abuse each other. And my married friends and divorced friends can tell you that. Marriage is marriage. That's how it goes. You will have your fights. It's normal. Just don't attack the other. If you lack control, get professional help for yourself. - +1 y
4. " Many divorced couples fight which is why they chose to divorce." That is also a myth. That's a coverup to hide the REAL problem. Which is a couple's selfishness, incompatibility, lack the willingness to change, be kind and loving, self-sacrifice, bad outside influences, and the top main reason, poor sex lives. With finances being number 2 and abuse and adultery being number 3. Couples will always fight. It's HOW you fight that matters. Is it's constructive or DESTRUCTIVE. If it's destructive, they need counseling. Not divorce. They will have to learn how to be married.
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5. " When you are unhappy with someone , It is very very hard to not be angry with them especially if you are around them all day. " That's okay. That's normal. But it's all the more reason you learn about yourself, learn to forgive, learn to LET GO. Not hold on to grudges, resentments, bitterness, bringing unhealthy competition, and so forth into your marriage. You don't bring in poison. So if you have these tendencies, you're better off not married or dating. Let alone having children. Because you're going to treat them the same way once they start forming opinions on their own. And they won't always agree with you. Children aren't stupid. And I tell parents this all the time. Don't underestimate your children. Just because they have issues articulating certain words. It doesn't mean they don't know it's meaning. It doesn't mean they can't feel the tension in the environment. You can try to be the perfect parent, wife, girlfriend, etc and STILL FAIL. Life and marriage especially are about growing, maturing, and LEARNING. Go with the pace of learning. It is not the same as other's marriages.
6. "You are going to commit adultery if you don’t love your spouse." FALSE. 1 Corinthians 7 clearly states this. When one or both parties sexually neglect one another it may TEMPT the other person to desire elsewhere. Hence why you do not have sex before marriage, and when you get married, have sex OFTEN. Every day if possible. And that is me paraphrasing. People say it's religious yet it's proven every single day in modern times right in front of you. People aren't taught better, shown better, or don't care. Find somebody who DOES. And when you get them, don't ABUSE them or take advantage of the relationship. Treat them how you also wished to be treated. Simple as that. - +1 y
7. "But if I cannot find a husband , it shouldn’t mean I can’t enjoy children. I value kids more than husband." You have to change this way of thinking. Because what your doing is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don't want a future like that, give it to God, and let Him guide your path. He knows your desires but you have to work with him on it and listen to him. Just like I am listening to him with my life and it is going well. Trust that you will be prepared for that life. Don't rush and be so quick to judge. That's how you keep repeating the same mistakes. Like I tell all of my close friends too. Don't rush the process. It will happen when you are ready. And it can help when you least expect it. So until that time, prepare. Don't slack. Take time to heal from your past, your childhood, and learn to love yourself again. Bring that little girl back that you harbored in your heart for so long. She longs to come out and explore the world without fear or shame again.
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And if you ever need my help. Don't be afraid to ask me. But you have to listen and I will have no doubt you will succeed. Your a strong young woman and I can hear and see that without personally knowing you. I know you're meant for greater things. Don't give it up. Don't give up on your dream. It will be the biggest regret and mistake you'll ever make. You want marriage and good family life? You will have it. But trust is key.
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You can't be afraid to do what is hard. The world already doesn't care about you. YOU have to care. You can't allow the world to get your heart heartened. Don't make that mistake I made growing up, that's how I became bitter of men. But God taught me better. He taught me it's not my fault how I got treated. But I am responsible for allowing it to enter my heart when his words should be written in my heart. So if a man cannot move your spirit. Don't be with him. I don't care how handsome, charming, flirtatious, rich, etc he is. Heck, I don't even care if he says he's Christian and can move mountains! If he feels WRONG in your soul, and your intention is telling you something and it feels off, and your friends, good strangers are pointing out something wrong about that person, don't be with them. And for love of Georgia, don't SCREW THEM.
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It seems like you see marriage as a lame boring partnership rather than someone you are passionate about. I want a man who I actually want to Stick to forever, not someone I stick to just for the sake of sticking to them
I want to marry someone I am naturally compatible with , not someone I try hard to be compatible with.
1. I want to marry someone I have fun with , not marry a hobby to have fun with, there is a big difference.
2. I want to find a man who I can have fun with regardless of whatever activity I am doing. When you walk in a park with a man you are passionate about , it can be more fun than going on a 10 week vacation. This is what passion is
3. Not that’s not true. Only couples who ar ridiculously incompatible with each other will fight everyday. There is a difference between fighting everyday than sometimes
4. I want to marry someone That don’t have to fight with often than be married to someone I constantly have to avoid arguments with. It must be very hard when a marriage lacks so much compatibility that we try harder to obey each other rather than enjoy each other. Why go into a marriage 90 percent of work when I can have 25 percent of work?
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5. I can’t spend everyday for the rest of my life “ letting go”. In order to let go everyday is a disappointment because I have to admit to myself that I am married someone who is not good enough but I will not complain anyways. You need to understand that different people have different habits. Some husbands are mean , some husbands are lazy and we cannot change that. He will not listen to your every order or obey you like you king. This is not the reality like you dream about. If my husband is being mean asshole to me everyday , which he will not change because he was not a nice person since the day he was born. I do not have to “ let go” of such bullying everyday. Why “ let go” when I can find a nice man who respects me?
6. I can be unfaithful if I marry someone I don’t want to be with. Marriage is supposed to be fun and being around this person can make you feel so happy that you don’t want to be with anyone else on earth. If you are married to someone you don’t care about , you will always be thinking , is there someone else who can make me much happier in this world than my current boring lame husband?
Marriage is not about preserving a boring partnership that you don’t really care about. It is about enjoying life and finding the RIGHT person who makes life better. Not trying hard to preserve a marriage that doesn’t work. You only have to put in so much work , because that person is not right for you.
Find someone who is right , you don’t need to try so hard to maintain the marriage - +1 y
And what makes you think I can be fulfilled by a husband that I don’t love? What if I find another man who is more exciting , more compatible , more wonderful , someone I can actually have fun with? I AM UNFULFILLED being Married to someone I don’t care about. that’s why I would cheat.
- +1 y
Lame boring marriage who says it has to be anything about that? You can only truly have passion when you truly love yourself and have a passion for the zest of life that is can actually be gift to you. If you want a man that you want to stick to Forever, then you find somebody you want to stick to Forever. And then you stick with them forever. I have nothing to do for the sake of sticking to them. Because if you don't want to stick with them, then you're wasting your time and theirs. If you want to marry somebody next compatible with you've got to do that. But you have to work for it anyway. Okay but that's why you have a friend so you can develop that.
With the incompatibility had nothing to do with fighting. I am very sorry. I can tell you never been married before. Doesn't matter when and how many times you fight, you're still going to have those
It has nothing to do with compatibility when it comes to fighting. You fight because you like proper communication. Nothing to do with compatibility. And there are plenty of articles that points this out as there is nothing that is perfect. No. You go into a marriage 100% And you work 100% every day of your life. You don't do 100% anything that's the only 100% you work with. You do 100% one day it just batting zero and you got to work for that one hundred percent again for that day. - +1 y
If you actually feel that way then my question is to you why do you actually want to get married? Because it sounds like to me you have no logical reason to even be married, or to be a mother. First of all, if your husband is doing that again you are attracting that kind of person because you already think a man is like that. You actually have a bad view of men and that doesn't sound healthy. If you want to be unfaithful you have no business actually dating at all let alone getting married. Honestly that's how you think about marriage or dating you definitely don't need to be involved with anybody. Because what you have is dangerous, toxic, and negative. You going to track another person just like that. If you don't love somebody don't get married to them it's just a simple but don't pretend to love somebody just because you say you want to. If you think it's like that you really don't need to be involved with a man please do not be involved with a man. Because you're just making excuses for yourself so you can actually be free to sleep with how many men you want. That's not a wife or girlfriend. You really have to change that. No you cheat because you want to not because you feel like you have to. If it's in you to cheat, that doesn't make you a good woman at all. If a man hears everything that you're saying they want to avoid you like a plague. And I'm not saying this to be mean I'm telling you the hard Cold Truth. You are better off alone if that's how you think. And it's no offense to you. There is no such thing as a perfect man and you need to stop because you are no perfect woman either.
- +1 y
think that you just want to get married for the sake of getting married. In other words, you are not looking to marry a man that you love or someone who enlightens you.
For me, I marry because I meet someone who makes me happier in life. I marry because I actually want to be with the person forever rather than getting married because it’s better than being unmarried.
- Guru Age: 23 , mho 33%+1 y
Even if you want kids, which I don't, you must admit that you would rather be married without kids than be a single parent. If anyone says they would rather be a single parent, they don't know what they're talking about.
13 Reply- +1 y
@nopedydoo Then you have no idea how hard it is to be a single parent.
- 612 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. Master Age: 30+1 y
Marriage for me.
Not big on the whole kid thing.00 Reply - Explorer Age: 62 , mho 38%+1 y
You can always adopt, be a big brother/sister, coach etc.
But it's better to marry, have sex, then have kids in that order.20 Reply I wrote kids, but honestly, both. Kids with my true love. But I already found her so.
00 Reply520 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. Money and love!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
No kids, no marriage. Just the good life without these unnecessary and abstract obstacles.11 Reply- 520 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. Master Age: 56+1 y
Marriage & True Love and If a couple is meant to have kids then they will
00 Reply For an individual, I don't know which is more important. However, kids are necessary for the survival of our species. Marriage is not.
00 ReplyI picked "kids". I didn't see the "true love" option.
Don't do me like that. 😂
Marriage isn't required for true love.00 Reply- Xper 5 Age: 36+1 y
Definitely kids over marriage.
20 Reply - Anonymous(36-45)+1 y
Kids have been the best thing I have done in my life.
Marriage was the worst thing I have done in my life.00 Reply - Anonymous(25-29)+1 y
Obviously this is a question for gals because neither of those matter to most men
01 Reply- +1 y
kids and love don't matter to men?
- Yoda Age: 30 , mho 49%+1 y
Love, but fuck marriage and fuck childbirth.
21 Reply 590 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. Neither of them are important.
00 ReplyI don't like marriage or kids
00 ReplyNeither really been there done that!!!
00 ReplyNeither matters to me.
00 Reply- Xper 7 Age: 27+1 y
marriage to me, as not sure i want kids or not.
00 Reply - Anonymous(25-29)+1 y
None...
00 Reply
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