Do you think getting married and having kids is better or a burden?

Question

LaurenM1997 · Accepted Answer

I don’t want kids but I class fur babies as kids so I’d say no

Flower7 · Accepted Answer

Both are bad.

AviatorTom · Answer

I was married for 20 years, we raised 3 great kids. It was a rewarding experience, nort always easy but definitely worth it.

The answer to this question depends on the individual... and the couple. Marriage and kids is good for some, marriage without kids is good for others, and for some, no marriage and no kids is preferred.

Anonymous · Answer

Voted "worth the effort." Certainly the data shows it.

Statistics show that married men and women tend to live longer, be healthier and are more economically successful than their unmarried counterparts. This also conducing to a more stable social order with less crime, suicides and other related pathologies.

Evolution makes it that males and females have an instinct to mate and reproduce. It turns out that when social institutions - particularly where backed by religious sanction - reinforce and put legal and other structures around that natural instinct, both individuals and society benefit.

Having said that, there are exceptions and I am one of them. As the father of three children with my girlfriend of 15 years, honestly, I have no problem - personally - with family life out of wedlock.

My girlfriend and I never found the idea of marriage as something we wanted. A large ceremony, an expensive ring and a permission slip from the state seemed to diminish the natural and spontaneous beauty of what we share. (The religious question is a bit more complicated and, honestly, we have never fully reconciled it in our own minds.)

My girlfriend and I love what we share. It is emotional and intimate, but also animal and instinctive. It is our most deepest thoughts and feelings and our most primitive instincts and mating drives. Marriage did not add anything to that.

In that connection, the three children we have had together - the greatest gifts a woman can ever give to a man - are part of that. I love my children at the deepest level, but there was something even instinctive in that.

My children are the result of my urge to mate. To impregnate my girlfriend and she to bear young. That might seem clinical, but to us - again - they are natural and beautiful. Our being married would have added nothing to do that.

When I see my children I see three beautiful little lives, three distinct little personalities and I feel unconditional love. Yet there is something added to that by the fact that my natural instincts compelled me to make them and my every male instinct is to protect them.

My natural instinct is to impregnate a woman with my sperm and to make babies. I don't need a wedding ring for that. That to me is as amazing and mysterious as the more emotional and romantic feelings that I share with my girlfriend and with - in a different way - my children.

Interestingly, I have experience on the other side of that coin, too. I met this gal at a business event, I did not know her and had never met her before but for whatever reason we hit it off. Things got sort of "flirty" - for lack of a better term - and just escalated.

So we went back to her place, originally just for a drink - or at least that was the theory - and we ended up having sex. Important note, as it was not planned it was unprotected sex. So I spent the night, we had some more sex in the morning and I left. We never spoke or saw each other ever again. In my mind - and I guess her's - it was just a really good night.

Flash forward to about 4 1/2 years ago. I get a phone call. It was the same woman. It turns out that I had gotten her pregnant. She decided to have the baby but decided to raise him - a boy - without me, and so did not tell me she was pregnant.

Then she decided - again about 4 1/2 years ago - that our son needed his father in his life. So she tracked me down - which probably not that easy - and informed me that I was a father. A test confirmed it and so now I have a son in his early teens in addition to the three children - two boys, one girl (10, 9 and 7) - that I have with my girlfriend.

That said, I don't regret that night one bit. I am not going to lie - it was awkward at first getting to know my son. However, I have to give his mom credit. She raised a good kid. He is well mannered, treats his younger half siblings and my girlfriend like gold and we have developed a warm and - dare I say it - loving relationship. I am wildly proud of him, and while he still lives with his mom - whom I confess I still don't know that well - he has stayed with us at holidays and summer breaks and he means the world to me as much as my three other children.

My only regret is that it does hurt that I was not part of his life till now. I would have loved to hold him as a baby - yes, when it comes to my children as my girlfriend will tell you, I am the biggest milksop - and see him grow. Still I am blessed to have him in my life and part of my family.

Putting all that together, though, my experience is the exception and not the rule. Married life - as the data show - is best.

At3mis24 · Answer

Getting married and having kids will lead me to depression. How can I be happy if anyone else always tries to change my lifestyle, and makes me compromise but don't make any effort in return. This kind of life isn't for me!

exitseven · Answer

I was neutral about having kids. I did not want to not have kids. I have 3 kids and I am glad I had them they were a lit if work and cost a ton of money but I am glad that I have them. They are all college graduates and have good jobs and living on their own. Maybe if they turned out to b e crackhead I might have a different opinion

molonski2 · Answer

Think of my situation , that happens over time , where would I be now without my two children , grown women , was it tough early = sure , the marriage failed as most will , that's a sad fact , but my kids , two girls , grown women , you just can't beat that.

sheenagwapa · Answer

it is better of course but that doesn't mean i will settle if you know what i mean

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

It's only good for those who can and are capable of raising kids. For those who can't have kids or don't want them, it'd be a bad idea. But they can at least get married & have a great wedding if they desire to.

Angelo75 · Answer

Well quite literally "all" the lifestyles come with some pro's and con's.

There is no "better" option.

Just like there are a variety of fruits, there are a variety of people who like the one option more than the other.

At the end of the day the question you wanna ask yourself is "which" of the pro's weighs more than the cons that come with it, and then choose that option.

relax24 · Answer

Being very lonely and isolated with no family around me. i would really like to start a family and have kids. the problem is that i don't ever see that happening and that really saddens me :(

Peridot25 · Answer

No kids for me. I couldn’t handle that responsibility. Though marriage would be nice 😊

laly520 · Answer

Getting married and having kids might require more efforts but it's worth it and makes life more happy, enjoyable

Bricealan · Answer

I don't see it as a Burden, but having children is a Tremendous Responsibility, if you intend to have your children to grow to maturity, and have a sense of purpose, responsibility and stand on their own two feet when you are no longer there.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Everyone I know seems happier for it and it's personally what I want.

MemeSupreme · Answer

it's worth it if you want it and are ready  some people shouldn't be parents or get married lol

Booklover_90 · Answer

Depends on your perspective. Personally, I view marriage as a beautiful thing, but I know that’s not everyone’s opinion.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

It can definitely be a burden if you marry the wrong person but if not, I think it would be a good thing.

Apple1996 · Answer

There aren't many good things in life without a spouse and kids so yeah its definitely worth it

clampfan101 · Answer

Naturally it will vary for different people. I don’t have a wife yet, let alone kids, but I feel my answer will be A and C when I do have them.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

It's without a doubt better, the ultimate most rewarding process humans can go through

Androktasia · Answer

for me marriage and kids is a prison ball people willingly put on themselves. It's a no for me

XXblack88 · Answer

Having kids would make life more enjoyable

myloveforuisinfinte · Answer

Burden for sure. I want to adopt kitties.

Unit1 · Answer

To me it's one of the worst forms to commit suicide in most aspects without actually dying.

SolitarySolace · Answer

All of the poll options are marriage good 🤣 talk about indoctrination

gorydetails · Answer

Of course it’s better It’s the most fulfilling thing a human being can do

LiamJHayden · Answer

I do not trust marriage under current laws, but if I were not congenitally sterile I would probably risk it.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

Marriage and/or having children is a losing situation for men.

Anonymous · Answer

Option 4: No.

dustybiker2 · Answer

Depends on the match.

strateguy632 · Answer

better

BCRanger10 · Answer

I voted A.

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Do you think there's more pros or cons in having kids?

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