Unsupportive Grandmother?

[Anonymous]

Hi! So I've been with this guy, we'll call him Sam for the last 6 years. We got engaged in September. Leading up to the engagement, my grandmother would ask Sam when and if we're ever getting married.

Sam would tell my grandparents that we would eventually, but he wants to be financially ready for that first. He's had to tell her that multiple times, and I was okay with that.

Fast forward to Sam buying me the ring, he showed my grandparents a picture of it. Now that we are engaged, he told me they were just kind of like "okay cool" and that was about it.

The day we got engaged (this was a month later after he showed them the ring) my grandmother was... well very underwhelmingly excited. She told us that we better get a fence for our house first before planning a wedding. A fence? It's not needed but with the fit she threw, we were like okay fine.

It's been almost a year since we've been engaged and she has not brought up the engagement once since the day we got engaged. She won't ask to see my ring, she won't ask about the wedding. Absolutely nothing. She acts like our engagement doesn't even exist. I'm confused and I don't know how to handle this.

Side note: When you try to confront her about anything, all he** breaks lose. It's not easy. Usually this results her storming off and not talking to you for a few days/weeks at a time.

[Iron_Man]

Always listen to a grandmother and mother they have a lot of wisdom they been there and done that they know what to look for out there some girls that are younger are inexperienced and naïve and they don’t know what they’re getting into the mother than steps in and guides you

[Asker]

Thanks for your input! I think I needed to add more to the question.

I've asked her multiple times if she likes him and she always says "yes, of course" and states that if she didn't like him, I'd know. She treats him equally when it comes to holidays like Easter and Christmas, she bought us a refrigerator, a washer/dryer and an oven for a house warming gift. She's a very giving person and we're both very appreciative of that. I don't think she would waste her time on that if she thought he was a waste of time?

He's very smart, funny, he volunteers coaching a youth baseball league, he has a great paying, reliable full time job, we don't fight, he's family oriented, helps out around the house.. I mean he's great. We always have a fun time together. There's so many other great qualities that I can ramble on about but I'm sure you get the point. Everyone loves the guy. My step dad even said "if you can't get along with Sam, you can't get along with anyone."

I think her problem with him, isn't really a "him" problem. She doesn't like his parents because they haven't offered to help remodel the house. We don't like handouts. We like the satisfaction of working hard and doing things on our own. His parents are not and should not be responsible for being here if they don't want to be. That's not fair to take out on my fiancé.

[Iron_Man]

Everything sounds perfect then

[Avicenna]

Just invite her to the wedding but otherwise leave the topic alone

[Alwayreckles93]

First she kept asking when you guys would get married so the two of you get engaged Now all she cares about is a fence 😲 and does not offer you to help out with the wedding planning or dress shopping. She sounds like a Karen. What else has she complained about?

[Anonymous]

you don't know how to handle what? there's nothing to handle... you did the thing she was asking about and now there's nothing more she wants to say.

[Honesttguy]

Maybe you two need to grow up? Time to be independent and think for yourself, make your own path and choices. Fragile to begin with huh? Your grandparents have strong frame game, you guys go mentall all over. They beat you, face it. U can't handle them. Admit defeat and move on