How can I escape an arranged marriage when my parents threaten to kill themselves should their arranged marriage plans fail?

Question

Growing up, my parents always tried to force me into believing every single detail about Islam, and while I am a "Muslim", there a lot of major ideas from it I disagree with and am disgusted about, and one such idea is the idea of arranged marriages. An arranged marriage is where people outside of the bride and groom to be (primarily the parents) choose who the couple will be. And what disgusts me about it is that neither person who is being married gets to have a say in the matter. Not only that, but there is absolutely ZERO romance involved. And I want no part in an arranged marriage.

However, my parents threatened me that if I ever have a girlfriend and participate in a love marriage and not an arranged one, they will die, either by the grief of me not succumbing to their whims causing life-threatening conditions (such as a possible heart attack) or them outright committing suicide. The thing is, I don't want my parents to die and bear the guilt of my life choices killing them, yet I don't want to bend over to my parents' will in that regard.

How can I escape their plans for setting me up for an arranged marriage so that my parents will not end up killing themselves?

so_over_this · Accepted Answer

I'm a Muslim girl living in a predominantly Indian community so my heart really goes out to you because I know exactly how you feel. I made it clear to my family from the time I turned 16 that I do not want to get married and fortunately for me my relationship with my mother has improved so she stopped pushing the subject of marriage over the past few years , it is however brought up often with family. All I can say to you is that majority of parents are dramatic like that , they'll supposedly "die " if you do not marry or do not fulfill their wishes but in reality they just bring very emotionally manipulative and I've experienced this first hand so dont stress too much about their threats, I think you just need to sit down with them and tell them openly that look I need to get my priorities straight (e. g study, work, whatever they may be to you) before you can actually think about marriage and hopefully by having this talk with them it'll relieve you from some of the pressure they're putting on you. I wish you the best of luck and I hope this was helpful 💕

Jessica405 · Accepted Answer

Quite simply, your parents do not own you. Once you reach adulthood, you are a free person. You cannot spend your whole life with it being organised for you. They are using the age old trick of emotional blackmail to try and get you to comply with their wishes. You can either be a doormat, or you can insist on your right to be with the person you want to be with.

A lifetime is a long time, and you have only got one. Don't waste it. You will regret it for all that time.

slatyb · Accepted Answer

It’s your life. They won’t kill themselves. They will get over it. Where are you?

Celtero · Accepted Answer

People who threaten suicide are manipulative cunts and are lying about it.

Anonymous · Answer

They're just lying.
But Islam is strong as heck. How about try to see and learn about the girl?
There's a Muslim woman here who acts very slutty. Maybe you will end up woth someone like her if you lucky

jahaims · Answer

Let them kill their selves. Not your fault they are mentally ill.

moonpie89 · Answer

Arranged marriages are a cultural thing not an Islamic thing

How can I escape an arranged marriage when my parents threaten to kill themselves should their arranged marriage plans fail?

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