
As a married woman, is it weird that I would like to take separate vacations?

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I'd say it is unusual to a degree.
Did you marry a man who is into doing that or is this going to cause strife in your marriage... resentment that will form a crack that can grow and fester over the years?
Also, what kind of vacations? Like "I want to go take 2-3 days with some girlfriends to go on some wine tours... something you have zero interest in"
Or "I know you've dreamed of spending of 3 weeks traveling through Europe but I think I want to blow 7,000 dollars of out family budget and go see it by myself and I want you to stay here"
Are these short trips... doing things, visiting places he has no interest in or are these big trips... dream vacations... Iceland, Paris, Venice, Hawaii, Tahiti, Spain, expensive trips that he'd love to do and that will be many days apart?
How long?
How expensive?
Where to?
Who is going? You alone? You and a girlfriend? You and a guy friend?
How does hubby feel about it? No big deal he is on board and supportive? He feels slighted, he thinks its shady, he wants to go with you and he will resent you for it?
Okay well let me just preface by saying that it was his idea that I take time to go out and do something that I enjoy because he uses the majority of his vacation time on hunting trips.
I would be going alone, and I am considering a road trip along the coast so that I work on my photography for a few days.
It sounds good.
Hubby is on board. He has no interest. You aren't using up all of the family vacation fund for just yourself. It sounds like this should work fine.
it doesn't have to be...
it's just vacations that you want to experience on your own, if you can afford it, and the two of you can arrange that, then it does not have to be weird...
it can be a great thing, when you live your life as you want to leave it and to be a lot less worried about how things can be seen by many other people that are not you or your partner
As long as your husband is okay with it and it doesn't cause issues in your marriage, that's all that matters, not what anyone else thinks... I think that's part of the problem with relationships that's days, people trust their partners less and less and so make doing things separate automatically must mean cheating. When I was younger, guys could have a guy's night out and the women would have a woman's night out... Or men would go on fishing or hunting trips. My father went hunting every year with his male relatives, it was never an issue..
My husband due to his dialysis schedule, couldn't go on a trip I took with my sister and her girlfriend. There wasn't no worry of cheating because my hubby knew he could trust me...
It makes sense, people asked Dolly Parton how her marriage has lasted so long and her response is they spend a lot of time apart and that prevents them from getting sick of each other, many couples have broken up during the pandemic because lockdowns force them to hang out with each other for 24 hours a day, but I also know couples who cheated and broke up when they spent too much time apart so it’s a balance and varies from person to person
Opinion
37Opinion
I would be extremely suspicious if my wife wanted to go somewhere without me on vacation. Most people don't get married so they can do things separately.
If you're just doing it to get some space and detox, then that's fine. If you're doing it to make plans to find some guy elsewhere and cheat on your husband, then yes, it's weird and definitely not good.
I doubt that you want to go for the later though, so it's all good.
Nope not at all.
I did exactly this with my ex wife (not connected to the ex bit lol), I’ve also done similar with long term gfs.
you live together 24/7 365 days of the year and then have a holiday together, bugger all wrong with doing your own thing.
I have a number of friends where they have holidays separately personally it’s a good thing.
trust is that thing though.
Most couples I know go together, but there are a few that have different interests and don't always. For example, one couple I know the wife loves tropical beach vacations, which he doesn't, and he loves going to car races, which she doesn't, so they have some separate vacations.
It is very strange in my opinion I wouldn't go on a vacation without my hubby if he was home. I've gone places while he was deployed but that's only cause he was gone. When he is home and has to work I also stay home so we can get as much time together as possible.
They say that distance makes the heat grow fonder. He takes his his vacation time to go on hunting trips, and I still want to use my vacation time
Yeah we do but you can’t exactly bring almond a 4 year old in a hunting trip out on the middle of no where. Also who am I to not allow my husband to go out and provide for his family?
We take our kids out hunting and fishing. They are 6 and 4. It's a good time to teach them if they are interested in those types of things. My oldest is starting to hate those activities tho lol. I'm just saying it's a little weird for a husband to not want his family to join along in the fun. If y'all like doing things separate then that's okay too whatever works for you
Do I think sometimes everybody needs a break and to get away by yourself and just breathe I think it's good for everybody at least try it once where do you usually go well that was kind of a stupid question like you're going to tell me where have you been how about that one
I dont know. Like me and my wife (almost 30 years) we do major trips together as a family. But there are rare times where we had to take trips apart from each other and they are not vacations.
I see it this way, if you have to have a trip apart from each other. Then something is not right in the realationship. Like them are times where you have the chance to increase your bond together as a couple.
Thats my opinion like it or not
But on the other hand if he is doing it and leaving you stuck with the kids for weeks on end. Fair is fair
I may not like the separate vacations. But if he is doing it
You are NOT a monogamous creature, eventually you're gonna get tired of the muthafuccka you're married to and want to do your own thing and even have sex with other people. Most people cannot suppress their 'nature' long enough to go a whole lifetime with one person, hence the divorce rates and infidelity rates being off the charts. Read the book "SEX AT DAWN" by Cacilda Jetha and Christopher Ryan.
If you really wanted to do something and your spouse would not like what you like. Then if the trust is there. Both of you will have a better time separately.
no , I've seen my mother go on 7 day vacations with a couple of friends while my dad stayed home...
a little time for yourself , can be good , for both parties.
I would hope a married couple would want to spend their free time together. It makes me wonder why they wouldn’t? Sounds unusual. Unless there is a good reason/situation that calls for it..
Like if you're going to totally different locations itsn ot that weird but if you're like both going to just different beaches than Id say its realy weird
I think it's great! It's like a sabbatical in a sense and you can come back together recharged.
Yes, unless you have a reason you don't want him around.
It’s not that I don’t want him around, it’s that he’s already used up his vacation time and I would still like to use mine.
If you and your husband have different interests, go for it. You do you and don't let anyone say nay.
It's not the most common arrangement I wouldn't think, but if you each have a very diverse set of interests, and are OK with the plan, then go have fun!
Not really. Alone, Yes, If you are having Issues with your Soulmate. With a Girl Friend? Not At All. As Long As it's Not for Looking nor Hooking. xxoo
If my wife ever suggested that I'd be afraid for my marriage.
Everyone’s relationship is different. My husband spends most of his vacation time hunting, and I would still like to utilize mine.
It’s hasn’t, it was his idea. I think it’s because he feels bad about spending so much time away
Well i have been planning a solo camping trip for a couple of nights
If you're doing it so you can cheat on him, not cool.. Any other reason it's fine.
Yes, huge red flag. Couples should enjoy the same hobbies and want to spend time together.
Who says couple can't have their own interests?
always results in seperation to not share interests and hobbies.
always? really?
Every single couple I've seen who is not basically mental mirrors of eachother ends up either fighting a lot eventually, breaking up eventually, or both.
I've not seen a single exception to this, and the few couples I've met who are still together, are always happy and never fight, have the same hobbies and are inseperable.
Okay so just based off personal experiences? Are you married?
it's not my personal experiences, it's theirs. I don't date disimilar people anymore, tried that a few times, couldn't stand them.
I'm basing it off thousands of people from varying backgrounds, personality types, and statuses, people debate this as wrong to no end only to eventually they realize otherwise (I'm also usually the relationship counselor for anyone I personally knew from that list as well, and holy shit is compatibility overlooked just about everyone).
by just*
Having different hobbies doesn’t make a couple incompatible.
Some alone time now and then is healthy. It’s all about finding good balance between alone time and together time.
it it’s a girl weekend out i could happen, but by your self what’s the reason are you cheating?
Because he uses most of his vacation time hunting and I would still like to use mine.
I take it you don’t like hunting.
I grew up hunting but I can’t exactly take a 4 year old with me on an intense elk hunting trip that is a week long.
Then it’s cuz it’s not a family friendly vacation
it reminds of me of this old joke where the guy says me and my wife keep our marriage strong by having a nice, candle light dinner every week. she has hers on Tuesday and he has his on Friday 🤣🤣
To each their own, but if my wife wanted separate vacations, I'd be wondering why.
Actually it was my husbands idea
Then, if I were you, I'd be wondering why.
I know why, he uses most of his vacation time hunting, and knows that I would still like to use mine. So to be fair he has encouraged me to take that vacation time even if he can’t join me.
I guess if you are both ok with it. I wouldn't like that arrangement, but it's not my relationship.
To each their own. Though I have heard that this is pretty common for a lot of hunters.
It very well may be.
I've heard of this happening. Couples who do that must have an abundance of trust in each other.
It depends on how long you have been together what you like so it could be good for both of you.
Solo trips are your wish, being married is a relationship status, that doesn't change the person in you.
Yes, but if both husband and wife are open to such ideas, it's cool
No we all need a break from life sometimes
It’s ok to take personal time! It’s healthy too!
But if you are interested in all vacations being separate, that’s a sign
It depends why you want to
No. Alone time is important.
No absence makes the heart grow fonder
That sounds pretty weird, yeah...
Nah, a great vacation is about a break
Only for the right reasons.
That means you have yours eyes on another man
Uh no it doesn’t lol
I doubt it
Well then that is projection of your own experiences. My husband has already used use vaccination time, and I would still like to enjoy mine.
Not really , not projection of my own experience. But based on what's happening in the society and logically. Women would never stay away from someone she love that much unless there's someone else on hand. That's what happens usually. In your case that's unusual
So you never need time alone to recharge? Lol you’ve never had kids have you lol
What's good for you is good for you. Don't worry about what other people think
Not weird at all
How long?
Yes...
Why? Lol
It tells me there is something wrong with your marriage.
How? You don’t know anything about my marriage.
I do know one thing, and that is that you don't enjoy your husband's company enough to want to include him in what might be your only chance at a vacation this year.
He’s already taken his vacation, I still want to use mine..
Why did he go on vacation without you?
Because he’s on a hunting trip with his brother and I am not about to spend a week out in the middle of no where with a 4 year old.
OK, that's fine and I don't blame you. You should have included all that context in your questions so people don't guess or make assumptions. You should definitely go on vacation without him.
Where are you going to go?
What kind of hunting is he doing? Deer, elk, pheasant, grouse?
Elk hunting. I don’t know yet I haven’t planned anything.
Well hope you have fun
Thanks
Seems weird
Nope
Relationships are very difficult to maintain. As important it is to spend time together it is important to spend time away as well. What you do while spending time away that's different story.
Very very strange
Why?
spouses should enjoy each other's company
We do very much
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