Have you lost faith in marriage?

[anykayd]

With your divorce rates being 46%, and now as a result, young modern couples are intentionally avoiding marriage. Is the concept of marriage growing increasingly outdated and considered something that is no longer works?

[LizJane]

After having to suffer through the horror of living through my parent’s marriage with all its emotional abuse and cheating, I absolutely refuse to ever get married to anyone. I have huge trust issues that stem from my childhood and subsequent bad experiences with boyfriends lying to me and cheating on me, and I could never trust anyone with my heart ever again. I’ve just seen too much of the bad in relationships and know well that you can’t promise forever to anyone. You may love them but feelings can, and do change, and many are quick look for someone new, while still in a relationship, rather than trying to sort out any problems in relationships. It’s so easy to do now with the internet.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

No haven't lost faith in "marriage", lost faith in people... Married or not, people aren't taking their relationships seriously, hook up culture, social media is destroying people's values and morals... People these days think it's okay to have online relationships and real life relationships at the same time and don't think it's cheating... People throw that love word around without meaning it or apparently really knowing what it means... It's not marriage destroying relationships, it's people doing that

[Anonymous]

Well I never believed you have to be married to prove commitment or anything like that in the first place, but as far as marriage goes, no not really. I think there's a lot of reasons for this, but it's not marriage itself. Such as people are often too quick to marry, without really getting to know each other well (they think they do, but haven't done the test of time). Communication is just horrible with most couples also, in general, not just marriage, but is another huge reason. I think it's a bigger reflection on our society in general.

[anykayd]

what other way can you prove commitment? there is no other way.

[Opinion Owner]

Well let me ask this, how does it prove commitment? Especially when you look at the divorce rate.

How do you prove it? Test of time. A piece of paper doesn't guarantee anything at all.

[anykayd]

if you think divorce rates are high, what makes you think break up rates are lower? Its so easy to leave a boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship, you really have nothing to lose. If you refuse to get married, it means you have absolutely no faith that things will work out forever. This is why the freedom to ditch the relationship quickly and easily matters to you so much

[Opinion Owner]

Again, how does marriage prove it?

[anykayd]

its not that the paper doesn't mean anything at all. Of course it means something. It means a lot. Any two individuals that are head over heels in love would WANT to get married. Marriage when you're in love is a VERY HAPPY thing.

But its mainly because you're afraid of the piece of paper due to your lack of confidence that your relationship will last.

[anykayd]

do you realize that marriage is the only position where you have claim over someone else?

[anykayd]

Any thing other than marriage, is just random squabble about being committed to each other. Without marriage, there really is no legitimacy over your supposed "claim" over your partner. A boyfriend can go around and make as many female friends as he wants. He can flirt around, enjoy his freedom. A husband cannot hangout with any female friend or even make a female friend without his wife's permission. There are many unwritten rules of marriage

[natepw22]

Hm. Well, no, I haven’t. One thing that needs to be considered is children. Being married and committed to your partner allows your children to have a stable home environment. I also believe in true love.

[drakethibault1]

It is not like I have lost a faith, I think it is pointless, today. I don't see a difference living as a spouses or boyfriend/girlfriend rellationship etc. I might marry once, to get a slight idea of what it is. So, if my marrige works out it will be good, if I divorce then bad luck, but I wouldn't marry after that.

[anykayd]

Because you won’t have official claim over someone unless you are married to them. Your boyfriend/girlfriend have the legal right to flirt with other people. If you are married , your husband cannot male female friends without his wife’s permission. There are a lot of unwritten rules of marriage that people don’t understand.

It’s also terribly easy to walk out of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

[anykayd]

If you are married , your husband cannot make*** female friends without his wife’s permission.

[Wester1967]

Yes. It’s horrifying right now if you’re a dude. I heard a woman on the subway in LA. She was talking about her friend who married a rich producer. $25 million net worth. The friend went out and started banging some hot dude for kicks. Husband filed for divorce and she took half his money. Massive rewards for cheating. I want no part and do not recommend marriage for any young guy right now.

[anykayd]

Never heard of a pre nup?

[readyplayer001]

no, i think with dating apps and all that other stuff people are way to fast to move on instead of communicate and work or even try to work on it with a partner. any relationship takes work and lots of people these days re too lazy to put the effort in

[Mango-man]

No, I haven't lost faith in marriage.

Most of failed marriages are of those who married very young (18-25) before their personality could even finish forming (brain undergoes major developments up until around 25 years) so if anything it just make me sure to generally date only women 25 if my prospective is marriage.

[jim009]

Lol I think marriage needs to be redefined. Marriage has legal and social implications, it is a tool in many ways, it should not be an automatic goal and it should be defined by and for each couple that chooses to enter into it... but you are hinting at the idea that young people avoid it more nowadays because not getting married means not getting divorced... lol not getting married doesn't mean you won't break up

[KrakenAttackin]

Hold onto your hat, the divorce rate is about to EXPLODE. I have seen several news blurbs that say post-lockdown requests by women to file for divorce is epic.

This also follows the post-lockdown murder rate which is up 30%

No man should ever get married with this present legal system.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure if I'll ever get married or ever lose my virginity, but I haven't faith in it. I think you have to just find someone who is compatible with you. I've seen marriages that are have been successful. Don't let the negativity make you give up on finding a partner. I could probably find someone, but it'd be an uphill battle. But for you i think you'll be able to do it. You're still young.

[DiegoO]

I have. For me is a waste of time. If there are kids involve, is better to make only a legal agreement for the kids, instead of compromising each other in other instance.

[anykayd]

What do you mean by legal agreement

[DiegoO]

Child support and other stuff.

[anykayd]

why would the kids be better off seeing you once a month, than if mom and dad lived under 1 roof?

[DiegoO]

I was refering to reduce the marital laws to the children.

[Ironic_Method]

I'd rather be divorced than in an unhappy marriage. It used to be more taboo to be divorced and now people are choosing happiness.

[anykayd]

why would you get married, just to get divorced? if divorce was so common, does this make the concept of marriage a joke?

[In_Trance]

You again...


Marriage make sense if you're a member of the Church and/or a believer and supporter of the state. It's a form of segregation, that's all. It never worked to begin with

[anykayd]

it worked all throughout history up until the past few decades. why don't you do some research before blurt out random things?

[In_Trance]

It did not work all through history. It's a relatively new tatic... created by the Church. You should practice what you preach

[anykayd]

divorce has never been popular until the past few recent decades. It has worked traditionally through thousands of years. Get your facts straight before you act like u know everything. bitch

[TheFlak38]

You intentionally skipped the part that says 70-80% of marriages are initiated by women. Why? Because women make money out of the divorce and secure their early retirement. If people have lost faith in marriage start blaming women for destroying everything.

[anykayd]

it still doesn't change the fact that you lose more money when you marry a poor woman.

[TheFlak38]

the outcome is always the same you dumb bitch. The woman wins and the man loses.

[anykayd]

you lose more divorcing a poor woman than a rich woman.

[Anonymous]

Well, seeing as how well off people are overwhelmingly married and dirt poor people are overwhelmingly not and have kids out of wedlock, I'd say that on average marriage "works" substantially better than the alternative.

[Inthecraphole]

I may never be able to get married. I am only seeking a woman who has never had her first love or any boyfriends before. I just don't know how to cope because I want to get married.

[anykayd]

Why would u only marry a woman who never had a boyfriend or husband before?

[Inthecraphole]

Because I want me and a woman to be each other's first loves. I can no longer say me and a woman met when we were young. I cannot handle the fact she loved someone before me, especially from her youth.

[Anonymous]

We do not have a single divorce “case” in my family. So tbh i like the idea of marriage and i think it’ll work for me.

[jamesgoldman]

Personal somewhat
Professionally I guess the same

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Happily married and I have intention of being on the 54% that works.

[anykayd]

Nobody marries with the Intention of getting divorced. But divorces still happens.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Sure. But many people also marry for the wrong reasons and ignoring red flags.

[anykayd]

People may change throughout marriage too. They also might end up getting bored through the years. understand you will encounter many people that will be more interesting funny charismatic good looking in life.

[anykayd]

There are no such thing as red flags. Everyone has flaws. But it really depends on if you can tolerate those flaws

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

That can happen. It certainly does.
But I blame bad choices and ignoring red flags much more for marriages failing.
Still more than half work. So far it's a positively safe bet.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

There are red flags. Many! Things that you chose to ignore thinking it will change over time and be the way you want. Or that you can live with a certain trait and over time it will stop bothering you.

[anykayd]

Hun everyone has red flags. Your partner will always have flaws. For most people they don’t have tip top personalities. There’s always something annoying about most people. For example , my dad has a terrible temper. My mother is disorganized and has low IQ. My boss is a married man and he is very insecure to the point where it can get annoying. My brother who is also married , can’t admit it when he is wrong

Humans will always be with flaws, it really depends on if u can tolerate it

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Sure flaws will always be there. But some flaws are just to big to accept. But people chose to be blind and marry that person anyway

[anykayd]

What may be "too big to accept" may not be too big to accept for someone else.
It really depends on how both your personalities mesh together.

For example, I am a feisty, intolerant, quick tempered girl. I wouldn't get along with my father who is also extremely bad tempered. The fights would be endless. The only reason why my mother never divorced him was because she was a huge push over. She could handle getting yelled at or disrespected by him. But if I wouldn't be able to stay married to someone like that for one night.

It really depends on the person and what they can handle.

[anykayd]

In every relationship, both personalities need to be able ot mesh together well like yin and yang.
For example, two people can't only enjoy talking but never listening. You can't have two people fighting to talk at the same time. Thus, such a relationship will not work out.

Another example, in every relationship where there is a dominant partner, the other partner must be submissive. You can't have two dominant people fighting over who gets to be dominant all the time. If one spouse is dominant and yells / controls the other spouse all the time , then the other spouse cannot also be "dominant" for the marriage to work.

It might sound sad that some marriages have one spouse controlling / yelling at the other. But it happens wayy more than you think (behind closed doors). People aren't perfect.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

"What may be "too big to accept" may not be too big to accept for someone else"
Absolutely. We all need to be aware of the red flags for us individually.

I absolutely agree that no one is perfect and that relationships take work. But people need to be compatible for it to work. What I am saying is that in many marriages people ignore the signs that it won't work in the long run.

[Anonymous]

About time. Marriage was about the money or some other convenience like greencards or merging kingdoms anyway. Marriage has nothing to do with love.

[Shihab91]

No never , its the best thing can happen between a man and a woman

[noohair]

I am divorced and women are still a mystery to me.
But I enjoy the challenge of the mystery.

[SnakeBoop]

I don't see the point of it personally.

[anykayd]

Marriage is what forms family.

[SnakeBoop]

it really isn't though. but thats your view lol

[anykayd]

Divorce breaks up families. When you have a family, you can’t just break up the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship whenever you want.

[SnakeBoop]

sure. same as it will still "break families" to divorce, or leave if not married depending on the context. marriage means nothing.

[Ms_Vanderquack]

Can you lose something you have never had?

[Subarugirl]

Actually divorce rates are declining.

[anykayd]

Because people are avoiding marriage. Less people are marrying

[Subarugirl]

And making better decisions about who they marry

[anykayd]

And also because people are also marrying later in life. So they make better decisions

[Subarugirl]

So in actuality marriage success rates are getting better.

[anykayd]

Mainly because less people are getting married. And the few ones getting married tend to be older people. Both those reasons why. Buttt I’m pretty sure these couples avoiding marriage are still breaking up

[Subarugirl]

Well getting married and dating or living together isn’t the same thing

[ChiPaPa]

I've lost faith in love

[Hangry06]

Never believed it

[SamFromFL]

Nope

[Babygirl_S]

No..

[disgustingweebtrash]

Most people have

[Fuentes]

Its a waste of time

[Jmmmfi4]

Yes I have