What do you think of women that want an expensive engagement ring?

[Anonymous]

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I've seen a few social media posts (in a group I was added to quite some time ago) from women complaining about their engagement rings, and I found it to be in pretty poor taste. It isn't even about the ring, it is about the start of your life with that person, and the thought they put into proposing. I find it to be a huge red flag if the bride-to-be's main concern is how expensive/impressive her engagement ring is.

I actually saw a post of a woman who snooped and found the engagement ring her boyfriend was planning to propose with, and her first reaction was that the ring was from Kay and was "too cheap", and how "heartbroken and disappointed" she was. 🤦‍♀️ No excitement that her boyfriend was planning to propose, no gratitude that he went out of his way to pick out a ring he thought was special (and let's be honest, anyone who isn't into jewelry, myself included, can't tell a "cheap" Kay ring from anything else; I'm sure the boyfriend tried his best), nothing. That kind of thing would really rub me the wrong way if I was the boyfriend and found out (and especially if I found out she complained on social media about it!!!).

Perhaps I just don't understand the big deal about having a fancy, expensive ring, but it just seems very shallow to put so much importance on that little aspect.

[Rob17792]

Damn and I bought mine from zales and spent a couple grand

[aWes0MeNeSs]

@Rob17792 I don't see anything wrong with those, either! I thought those types of places were where almost everyone got their rings!

[aWes0MeNeSs]

Not to mention that a couple grand is a lot of money, too!

[t-8900]

So you know I've actually used this as a shit test to see how a girl reacts? My advice? Get two rings. A cheaper one to propose with. If she says yes you can present a more valuable wedding band. If she shows being upset then you know she's not worth the expensive one. This is how you find out what she's in it for. Is it money or you?

[aWes0MeNeSs]

@t-8900 Great idea!

[Anonymous]

I think it has more to do with his income and what he spends on himself in general. If he goes and buys a 5000 dollar gaming computer but then gets me a 200 dollar ring, that would be hurtful. It'd suggest that he's putting himself over me, and thats not a good open to a marriage.
With my ex, I knew he didn't have a lot but when he would get money sometimes but he went out of his way to spend it on anyone but me; and especially himself. I didn't have a lot either, but whenever I did get anything I'd get him something nice. And if I knew he was having a hard time, id find ways to earn more or id make him something nice. He was my first, and so I wanted a promise ring; to make me feel more secure in our relationship... instead of getting me one, he went and bought himself an expensive ring. Then half a year later he tried to propose (less than a month after he'd just spent 4k on video games and systems and while i had just spent 1k on much needed house supplies) and i told him that if he didn't have a ring, don't bother. So he didn't. I said that with a last hope that he wouldn't let me down; but thats all he knew how to do.
If a man had average income and tried to get me a 10k ring, I would probably protest and feel weird about it. Its really not the worth of the ring, but the sacrifice it is to a man because he's showing you what you're worth. But you also don't want a man who is too lenient in his finances because thats just irresponsible also.

[gene8065]

You are the most kind and generous lady I have heard of in a long time. It's a shame he didn't appreciate you as much as you appreciated him. I wish I was friends with you, because I would love to have you as a friend, just the way you think. !!! I'm sorry you are in love with him. Sounds like you can do better.

[Rob17792]

I spent a couple grand on a diamond engagement ring for my significant other proposed never got a yes or a no and never once got anything from them either not that I'm looking for gifts but never once got a thank you for anything I did for them. Even when I got then 100 red roses twice not once did I get so much as a thank you

[NicoletteXO]

Yeah, this is all perfectly reasonable.

[NicoletteXO]

@Rob17792 Well that's weird. Red flag!! How sweet you were with the roses, that is so strange you weren't appreciated for it.

[molonski2]

I will answer with a story , friends of mine , both with expensive car leases , clothes etc in Australia , good income , ( both ) but massive expenses , beach front apartment ( Only renting ) , no money ! no money whatsoever , spend what they get and then some , can't JUST blame her as he was just as bad.
Ring set , engagement / wedding total cost $84,000 Aud , they didn't have a house for fcks sake ! At the end of the day , its a financial union like it or not , you need to be responsible , not just irresponsibly crazy ! It doesn't work..
The wedding was the same in the Tropics of Qld , couldn't afford that either.

You also need to understand the industry and what you are actually buying , I have only purchased one , I have a friend who is a jewelry and diamond creator , wholesale , I got a picture of the ring she wanted , he selected a far better stone , custom made it for her and it cost me about 1/3 of what the flash store wanted for theirs , and people always commented on this ring.
Common sense , I dont think much of women ( or men ) who do not apply logic to any purchase , with the excuse " it only happens once " , utter rubbish.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

All I can say is make sure it's for real to happen, I had an ex-girlfriend who I engaged to her around Valentines Day, and before my Birthday, she wasn't showing up at the Partial Hospitalization Program we attended and I called her at her house and she proceeded
to tell me she wanted to break up with me, So I warned all people is to make sure things is for real when you ask someone to marry you cause she cost me money
but that happened like in 1995-1996 but never got back with her and that was the
best thing I have ever done.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks For MHO :)

[jennifer_bloom]

I think they care too much about social status.

[Simply_M3]

I think a woman who wants an expensive ring, especially in a normal tax bracket is wasteful. Rings can easily be misplaced and sometimes need to be resized. I would never expect my guy to spend several pay checks or huge lump sum of savings on a ring.

What important for me is that he picks it out himself. I hope it's relatively the same shape and color that I've hinted at. Additionally, it needs to be real because of my sensitive skin lol. But, he better bargain and get a good deal. Because, I myself don't pay full price for anything... I always need a discount or bargain.

[t-8900]

You know seriously I love this post because it's so real. I don't do daimonds because of the blood diamond trade either. But I'll get real gold and silver and any other precision gem! Might be an $800 ring but its real and from the heart

[Simply_M3]

@t-8900 Absolutely! Guys buy 14K and are cheating on their wives or abusing them. You heart matters and the thought you put into it.

[t-8900]

i do want something special for who i end up with. I've toyed with mentioning things in the past. I usually open up about thinking diamond are so cliche and overrated I ask them what their favorite color is. sometimes that indicates a good pick for the stone. I've asked about weather gold or silver is more to their taste. These are little mentions over the course of some time. That way i get it exactly right and dont alert them to what I'm up to. See to me that's what really matters. I can get her something special by picking from the details. I customize it and then present it to her once it's fabricated in my possession. Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't this a much more romantic and meaningful approach than just gorging down a massive price tag for the sake of saying "i spent X on you"? I thought that this would have deeper meaning. I'm greatly saddened to see women on her demeaning me for this.

[Simply_M3]

@t-8900 I'm not keen on the idea of potentially receiving a blood diamond. I'm not going to lie. Diamonds are beautiful and I wouldn't mind receiving it. However, it's not worth going into debt over or anything like that. If he customizes the ring that would be great. It just better not be anything gold lol because I don't like gold. One if my friends always hinted and insisted on an emerald and that's what her guy got her. It's important to have subtle or upfront convos about these things. I'd rather invest good money in a nice home.

[t-8900]

yep! Absolutely! But for me the whole history of diamonds are tainted and just terrible. a lab grown emerald, ruby, or sapphire HAPPENS to be more affordable BUT it's actually acquired ETHICALLY! And thats my real issue. I'm going to show you something, PM sec.

[HighValue]

They are the kind of women I would avoid. I'd immediately end the relationship if she wanted that. Any ring I'd get would be zircon, not a real diamond. Even jewelers can't tell the difference with their naked eye. Only a very greedy and selfish person would insist on an expensive one.

I had a friend that was dumb enough to get his wife a $6,000 ring and of course she only got him an $80 black wedding band. I'm not surprised that now they are divorced and their kids are growing up in a broken home.

[HighValue]

Regardless of how much money I make, I'm not wasting it on expensive jewelry. I'd rather spend it on a good road bike so she can ride bikes with me. I hope she can make it 25 + miles on bike rides. :)

[NicoletteXO]

Super low value comment

[HighValue]

@NicoletteXO You're just upset because you are in too poor of shape to enjoy a good bike ride and would rather sit on the sofa with a wasteful ring.

[NicoletteXO]

Incorrect

[NicoletteXO]

There are a three scenarios here:

1) She has a partner who both can, and wants to, offer her a high value engagement ring - in which case, that is a beautiful celebration of their love. More power to them.

2) She has a partner who comfortably can, but doesn't want to, offer her a high value engagement ring... in which case, this begs the question of why. They may have mismatches in their values, which signals incompatibility. Big red flag - for both partners.

3) She has a partner who cannot, but sincerely wants to, offer her a high value engagement ring. I think this could be quite a sweet scenario. Again, what she does here will signal their compatibility long term. This might be one of those "you stuck by me when I was a penniless student, and now look where we are" scenarios 10 years later.

[NicoletteXO]

After reading some of the diatribes by shirty men here, I realize there is an additional scenario:

4) She has a partner who both cannot, and doesn't want to, offer her a high value engagement ring. My advice: RUN FOR THE HILLS, WOMAN! A guy like this will be a headache for your whole life, and a deadbeat Dad.

[Xoxocutekitty]

I think it's pretty normal.

Everyone has their own 'thing' that they want nice: whether it's a big ring, an open bar, fancy dress, huge guest list, live music, high quality food, or scenic/memorable venue.

There's no sense shaming someone for having different priorities. Big ring, second hand dress, catered buffet and cash bar after 2 drinks is OK for many folks.

If you're unwilling to compromise and you're dating someone who can't afford it, jokes on you, starting a marriage with debt ain't rainbows.

[DJB72]

Bye-bye.

I was engaged before the girl I eventually married. I had a very limited income both then and with my wife. The one thing they had in common was that when I asked them I didn't have a ring and we went to buy it together. Neither my ex or my wife allowed me to look at rings above a certain price despite me not telling either of them how much I had. Both girls asked for the ring they loved and both times it was perfectly in what I could afford.

The ring is just a symbol. If she's interested in its price more than what it represents that's a red flag.

[Anonymous]

I can somewhat see why she would want a ring like that.

I suppose it's to know how much she's worth to her significant other. An expensive ring might be a nice gesture of how much a person means to you.

It would be better for a woman NOT to ask for such a ring... but rather, wait to see if her significant other thinks she's worth it.

Take note, though. "Expensive" depends on that person's income! You might think that the ring they get you is "cheap," but if it's the BEST they can get, then you should probably value it based on the amount of time, money, blood and sweat that was spent trying to get it.

[NicoletteXO]

Totally agree with all of this :)

[BlackBeauty90]

Shallow bimbos who care more about bragging rights than their potential husband & future. If the guy had any brains he'd dump her ass on the curb and walk away.

Engagement & wedding rings mean nothing. They're jewelry. Irrelevant with respect to the actual marriage rapport.

[bamesjond0069]

Well there's a fine line. I don't think its commendable for a woman to accept a cracker jacks ring and say it doesn't matter. But if she's got to keep up with the joneses thats just gold digger shit there. I mean ever see some of these rich movie stars rings? So big and gaudy who would even wear that except some trashy person anyways?

in my opinion the 3 months salary rule is good with the caveat of never over $100k and never under $5k retail price. Now if you can get a bargain on used or alternative sources stones good for you. But i just mean general quality should be in that range.

[NicoletteXO]

Never thought I'd say this, but I agree with you bamesjond0069.

[shaysh87]

A man who thinks you're the biggest prize on earth will not buy you the cheapest ring at the shop. Be very careful about what kind of man you pick for a husband. And if he is too poor to buy you a decent ring, he is in no way shape or form able to support children.

[t-8900]

and guys be careful with girls who like you to express your love to them by buying rocks that were minded by child slave labor who got raped and beaten and stolen from their mothers by African Warlords! Such a thing does not have love as a foundation holding you together! ^^

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

one of my guy friends got married just for the sake of having a wife. he settled big time for her. He chose the cheapest ring at the shop. He told me that he wouldn't invest that much into a ring unless he passionately loved a woman very very very much.

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

[Such a thing does not have love as a foundation holding you together! ^^]

Buying the cheapest shit for your wife on the most important , special day of your life is in no way shape or form a sign of dedication or investment into your wife.

[t-8900]

No, you're being hyperbolic that's not what I said. I've spent several hundred on a ring. But i'm not paying thousands of dollars for something that was paid for in the blood of children to say "I love you". That's the fakest ish I ever heard in my life! And your "friend" would be a dickhead, not someone I'd be caught dead even associating with. I actually have lived a whole lifestyle by choice for many years. I would rather donate to charity than buy lavishly for myself. That's the type of person I am. If a girl can't be happy with a ruby or sapphire over a blood diamond she's not my girl. I dont buy "cheap" shit i simply dont believe in buying certain items that are overrated, tainted in issues of morality, or anything like that. And frankly if a chick is hung up on that ring more than our relationship I'm sure she's going to be the one to bounce as soon as something else comes up thats "better". Such women, who are materialistic and of this world can't be trusted.

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

you buy a ring worth a few hundred because you are poor. Thats the only reason why you would buy a cheap ring. Any man who loves his wife will buy her a decent ring even if it is at a bit of a higher price. Nobody expects a ring worth $10,000 but, all women expect a decent ring, not some cheap ass shit that nobody wants to buy at the store. The only reason why you would buy the cheapest shit at the store is because you're either very broke or you're settling for someone less.

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

The standard average price a man pays for a ring is around 2000 dollars. Obviously the more a man can afford, the better he can support a family.

[t-8900]

a ring between $800-$1,200 is I'm paying. That's it! I've never asked a girl for shit in my life. I just want her company and money can't buy me. if she's hung up on a ring its not love, period. Plus who tf pays for the wedding expenses? Who makes plans for the big move? No you, ME. So if that's the case you can either get with it or get gone. There are wonderful women out there who dont rub themselves off to money. Only someone born into a cushy life thinks like you. I doubt you ever worked hard enough to earn that ring for yourself. And i bet you'd buy your husband a cheap vanilla silver or 10K ring at most. My thing is you get out of a relationship what you put in. You buy me a 3K ring, I'll buy you one. But having a vagina does NOT entitle you to have your cake and eat it too. It's 2021, everything is equal now. You work too. Expecting to take all the money from the man while you collect your own while you work is dogshit. That's selfish beyond words.

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

don't be mad just because you're poor while other guys are rich. its your fault you didn't work harder in school when you were young.

[t-8900]

@shaysh87 lol okay it came down to work? I didn't have the same opportunities afforded me.

[t-8900]

list off why you are worth it and what you bring to the table. i'll wait for a reason why you deserve a 3K ring

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

Poor men tend to date poor women. Rich men tend to date rich women.

By the time I hit my 30s, I'd be making 120k a year, own a few rental properties, have investments on stocks. Anything is achievable if you work hard and plan smart. Unfortunately some people who think they are smart actually cannot do that.

I grew up in a very poor family too. But I am now college educated and making wayy more than my parents will ever make. And its only gonna get better as I get older.

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

[list off why you are worth it and what you bring to the table. i'll wait for a reason why you deserve a 3K ring]

maybe you can't get a better woman? which is why you're forced to settle for a shitty woman than a woman you truly love? there are guys who are rich enough to buy their wives 3k rings. actually. These are the type of guys that are fit to raise children.

[t-8900]

@shaysh87 You still haven't listed one goddamn reason why you're worth a man's money. still waiting for that. A woman not fit to be a wife or mother has no place speaking on who is fit to be a father. A smart woman invests the money into her kids, not her ego. End of story!

[t-8900]

by the way a man who is poor today can be rich tomorrow. But if I knew you were this type of woman you'd be a smash and dash for sure. If a woman isn't willing to grow with me and needs a pre self-made man its because she wants a cushy, unearned live.

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

just because you say that I am not wife material, it doesn't mean I am not wife material. I've had many guys fall in love with me over the years which none of whom i ever returned feelings for. So yea... i can get a man to fall for me easy.

Most "poor men" never become rich. In fact, most men never get rich. I won't marry a man who is so broke that he can't even afford to buy me a decent ring. Its a sure fire sign that we will have one hell of a hard life raising kids together.

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

you say that a woman shouldn't judge you for being broke and buying her a shit ring that nobody else wants at the store. but what else do you have to offer as a husband? NOTHING! you don't have personality, bad character, not husband material, no money.

[t-8900]

@shaysh87 sounds like an idiot, not a wise investor. Rings depreciate, homes appreciate. If you think a ring is more important than life long investments go for it. And men falling for you over the years? LOL you're 23. so far it doesn't sound like you've a clue of what love is. Again you haven't mentioned ONE THING that you bring to the table that makes you worth it. You are in competition with ever other single female looking for the same thing. You'll need more than that to impress those guys. And what you define as "rich" might be subjective. You aren't pulling a multi millionaire or billionaire. I already said i'm willing to get the house and pay the wedding expenses should that be the case. But i sure as hell am not dropping it on something that doesn't benefit the relationship. A house gives shelter to both of us and our children. But even then she'd have to be WELL worth it. Thankfully in today's world real women have stepped up to say that men are not defined by their wallets. Just like those same women have stepped up to say they aren't just F meat and one dimensional.

But if you you're a virgin and think marriage is so shallow maybe you can be the 4th wife of a Saudi Prince. But based on the consensus of everyone who's looked at what you've had to say I'd say that its a fair assumption that your views of love and happiness are WRONG. And as someone who's had a hell for a life since he was a child I can say that if I struck gold I sure as hell wouldn't share it with an entitled chick like you. I'd rather a single mom that was down to earth and nurturing than an entitled brat. When you lived me life you can pass judgements on me, I promise I didn't have the same opportunities afforded me that you did.

[t-8900]

No mommy and daddy to support me, sometimes no roof over my head, girls like you would be broken if you had to step in a time machine and live my childhood. I won't even go into all the drama and traumatic shit. But not all of us got a neatly packaged bundle of goodies waiting for us when we left the womb either.

Growing up in an impoverished neighborhood my only friends were an Mexican Illegal and the son of a Prostitute. But we were like brothers and our relationship was real. People like you NEED to experience hell on earth to get what life is really like. It's not easy! While you had parents to show you a better path I had a bottle and pills to cop. I was drinking heavy in school, always thought about ending my life. I turned that shit around and found abundance in spirituality and healing, and improving my body. I've lost almost 70 lbs these last 6 months. I've been busting my ass on weights 5 days a week and walking 40 miles a week. I'm better off today than I was 10 years ago. I'm drug free and alcohol free. I've earned a right to feel good about myself and a good woman WILL see past my shortcomings when she sees I strive to be my best everyday. THAT is the difference!

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

I'm an educated career lady, going for a masters degree soon in a few years. I'm pretty sure you're just an arrogant, uneducated, walmart bathroom cleaner , who has accomplished nothing in life but thinks he's a super duper huge hot shot.

most guys your age are in steady relationships or engaged , married already. why are you still single if you're such a hot shot?

you sound like you've never worked towards anything in life.

[t-8900]

read before ASSuming. I started working when I was 14. when did you get your first job?

[t-8900]

"hot shot" LOL no you can ask my girlfriend about that one. I'm not into the material shit. I'm in it for the real deal. I dont need a lavish gifts for validation or to show off. only one person here has an ego and thats YOU.

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

yea thats the funniest thing. you've worked since you were 14 and yet you're still broke. you've had so many years to build your career yet you're still a loser.

[t-8900]

@shaysh87 you've got nothing. If personalities were what were valued you'd be on the level of a street hooker, fact.

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

I have personality and money. Unlike you. I can have kids too on my own. You can't.

[t-8900]

again you dont know what happened in my life. people on here who read my story know the shit i went through. you can't relate. you were a coddled child and that's it. Born a spoiled brat and will die a spoiled brat.

[t-8900]

You have personality? LOL on what fucking planet cupcake? You're a terrible human being and with each response you reiterate that fact

[t-8900]

great a single mommy, yep you certainly fit the bill for that one. can't see any dude sticking around for you. There are women on this site who've hit me up for a relationship but since I'm monogamous and with someone I dont pursue

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

I still have years ahead of me to date. On the other hand , you just have 6 more years before you exit your prime. By 40, you'd be some wrinkly old guy in a middle life crisis

[t-8900]

ahaha! That's some funny shit! Girls your age were hitting on my dad in his 60's. Maybe your folks aged like sour milk but some of us got pretty good luck on the genetics. And plenty of 20 somethings going out with 40 year olds. You haven't been out much, I dont expect you to get it. Maybe in 5-10 years you'll mature and learn how to treat others with kindness and not pass judgement. But right now guys throw themselves at you in your youth. I can promise it doesn't last. When you get older you'll have to look at yourself in the mirror and you'll have to think back at all the messed up and hurtful things you've done to others along the way. Once you are broken down you can build yourself back up into a lady with integrity and not of the material world. I believe everyone has a redemption arc and you aren't above it. So good luck with your future. While you trash me I'll wish/hope you dont ever have to discover the shit I had to discover in my life. But just know not everyone got the chance for something better. As far as me being a "loser" for working at 14 and then not being successful now? Well it doesn't mean much when you accumulate stacks of medical bills taking care of your sick and dying father. Maybe you'll see that someday there's reasons people are broke, not because of bad work ethic! Or maybe your the type to abandon your own flesh and blood when shit goes south? Anyways I KNOW I'm not a loser. I know I'm fucking awesome because I'm the most loyal type of person you'll ever meet. And even though you might not value that, I promise the girls who have been abandoned and used by assholes WILL appreciate that

[t-8900]

read it or dont. but not all of us got the same hand in life girl.
A Look Into My Childhood (Long Read and not for the feint of heart) ↗

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

only 1% of all marraiges are 20 years age gap.

so how are so many girls in their 40s?

https:/
/en. wikipedia. org/wiki/Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships

[shaysh87]

Empirical evidence has also accumulated in support of women's preferences for older men, and as you might expect, the data often overlap with those data supporting men's preferences. As this sample of Conroy-Beam and Buss's (2019) review suggests:

Cross-culturally, women report wanting partners who are (on average) 3.5 years older than them.
In online dating, women make the first contact with older men at a greater than rate they do younger men.
Marriage records show that women are marrying men who are older than they are by about 3 years.

https:/
/www. psychologytoday. com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201904/what-we-know-about-age-gaps-in-dating-love-and-marriage

[shaysh87]

In 2020, the average age of marriage for female participants was 31, while male respondents married at age 33.

https:/
/www. theknot. com/content/average-age-of-marriage

Most men get married at 33, not 43.

[shaysh87]

https:/
/www. pewresearch. org/fact-tank/2020/01/03/globally-women-are-younger-than-their-male-partners-more-likely-to-age-alone/

According to pew research, over whelming majority of marriage age differences are under 5 years.

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

I think there is overwhelming evidence that most girls in their 20s do not marry guys in their 40s.

[t-8900]

okay? as it so happens i'm in a serious relationship now so i'm not sure what you're getting at. No one said i was getting married at 43...

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

Dating gets worse as you get older and especially as you start aging. In just 5-6 years you will find that most of your peers will be engaged, married or with kids. None of them will have the time to hangout with you at the bar anymore. Many of your female peers will also be married, engaged or too busy raising kids to date. You will likely be less attractive too. Single people are harder and harder to come by. And they likely won't want you because you get less attractive as you get older.

[t-8900]

you're not even reading at this point... okay cya i guess

[Rob17792]

The ring i got my s. o. a few years ago was over 3800 and I'm not rich

[shaysh87]

@Rob17792

you could be poor and an over spender. Just like how some poor people starve for 7 days so they can buy themselves new luxury channel handbags.

[t-8900]

I have dependents who need medicine more than she needs a big diamond. I can give her things far more important than a ring. Assuming love, loyalty, and protection are more valued that is.

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

you don't even have enough money to support yourself. forget about buying medicine for all the sick kids. you certainly have a huge imagination.

[t-8900]

Actually read what people say before blabbing. I gave you the article I wrote. I do take care of a sick man who has congestive heart failure. I said I don't have lots of money because I take care of him. You kept blabbering without reading a thing

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

I can take care of a sick man too. but would you be able to pay for a wedding? would you be able to support your kids well? no "nice person" helps someone out then brags about it all over the internet. sounds like you're just the average joe trying to get attention. Nice people do things for others without bragging.

[t-8900]

Nice people don't expect lavish gifts as a gateway to affection. You know you can answer anything in good faith. Just admit you're shallow and move on. I've been working to do better. My dad got sick when I was 23 and then I got sick. But in recovering and getting better. You act like I'm a worthless piece of shit because I have a different outlook on the best way to spend money. But I'm actually doing very good considering my starting point, which was way lower than yours and without help from anyone. It's easy to criticize when you haven't lived it. Its like a 13 year old in the back seat trying to tell a trucker how to drive. No boo boo that's not how that works

[t-8900]

like let say hypothetically right? If i was talking to you a lot about this stuff while we were dating I'd lose all my attraction for you personally. Aside from the selfish and greedy aspects of your personality and your being completely disingenuous you lack compassion and empathy for others. More over since you lived an easy and cushy life we can't relate. you dont know real hardships so you wouldn't be my type even if you were the best looking girl in the world. You need to realize that looks aren't everything for men. So when I asked you what you brought to the table that made you stand out from the other girls and you couldn't respond and dodged the question I proved that you aren't worth a 3K ring tbh. You'd be blessed to have a man who gave you a ring at all with your current attitude. But you have a lot of growing up today. Maybe some horrible tragedies will befall you in the future and set you right. To me painful tragedy is what builds and molds a person from child to adult. You need to be shattered and rebuilt like i was. You need to understand and share in the misery of others before you can appreciate a person. that's my world view.

[t-8900]

okay lets try this a different way without throwing more insults. Lets use a hypothetical. Lets say you were pro-war. Do you think you'd still feel that way if I made you watch the burned and amputated children suffer and cry out to their mothers and fathers that are 20 yards behind them in body bags. What if one day people kicked in your door and slaughtered your family in front of your eyes and raped you? Would that change your stance on being pro war? Would you empathize with the victims of a global conflict? Would you go from shrugging your shoulders to shedding tears? You need to feel other's suffering to understand them

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

nice people do not brag about their good deeds in front of large crowds. Nice people do many good things for others that largely goes unnoticed. Not some dude who does 1 nice thing a year then brag about it to the entire world for some attention and fame.

[t-8900]

@shaysh87 stop dodging the damn points. it makes you show lack of conviction. Dont lecture people about being nice or not. You have no idea all the shit i've done for others or what i've been through. You're by default not a nice person by putting a price tag on love. Get it? good.

[Chriscunning]

@shaysh87 I call BS on most of your stories. The average collage lever only earns $50K. The medium salary is $35K, so lets say you already above the medium. You out of collage for what a year or 2. In order to afford a normal house you need to earn some $55K. Now you claim you already own multiple investment properties. That makes no sense based on your age and salary (since you not at $120K yet). You came from a poor family so there was no help there either. So all in all I think you just rambling to look rich when you most likely paying off student loans.

[NicoletteXO]

I agree with you shaysh87. It's just common sense.

[NicoletteXO]

@t-8900 really, really surprised by this answer from you.

[shaysh87]

@Chriscunning

Most people can't pay their student loans because they lack the ability to save money. I have seen doctors and lawyers who run their own business, make 200k annually, but yet still have student loans that have been outstanding for the past 25 years.

Most people in america live paycheck to paycheck not because they do not make enough money, but because they do not know how to save money. Culturally, we do not have the values of saving money. This is why starbucks or dunkin donuts is so rich. That daily $3-4 dollars that you spend on your daily coffee can be saved up to buy your wife a decent wedding ring.

My household is Asian. Though my parents made minimum wage and struggled to raise us, we never failed to shell out 10k for funerals if a family member died.

When you spend too much money on starbucks and amazon, this is why you're poor.

[shaysh87]

@Chriscunning

do you spend an extra few dollars for extra guacamole at chipolte?
how often do you eat out?

People who make enough money, do not need to "save money". If you make enough money, you can afford to look good without diminishing your savings. There is no such thing as "looking good" just so that you can be poor in the bank account (if you have a lot of money)

[shaysh87]

@NicoletteXO

they're just a bunch of broke guys who are trying to think that they are as cool as the rich guys.

[t-8900]

@shaysh87 ok, right, message received. You're better than the rest of us. You deserve the best because you're above us, got it. Live your best life and i hope it works out for you.

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

i don't think im better than anyone else. but its hella funny when broke guys think they attract women like rich men.

[t-8900]

no one made that claim. I was saying that the $ shouldn't be what determines where a person's heart goes. And there are male gold diggers too. it happens on both sides. I dont like such people. it cheapens everything and makes it feel like a business transaction only.

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

you would be delusional if you think that only personality counts when it comes to dating and marriage. here are the truths: looks, money, status WILL ALWAYS MATTER regardless if you like it or not.

would you rather ask an ugly fat girl or a hot girl for her number?

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

Research has proven that uneducated, financially unstable couples are much more likely to divorce compared to more educated couples where both spouses hold decent incomes.

[NicoletteXO]

I agree with you that their bitterness comes from being broke.

I don't think they are necessarily "trying to look cool like the rich guys"... I think they are triggered because it's a sore issue. Also, I've known plenty of 'rich guys'... some are stellar humans, and some are not. Being rich is not a ticket to a good character. But being poor isn't either - and in fact, it may be worse in many instances, because the poor man often deludes himself that if he were rich he would act better. And while there may be exceptions, that's usually not true.

While I have no issue with a man who does not currently have means, I have a big issue with a man who is not currently on track to making means. This is a stagnant personality in my opinion, and a bad prospect for relationship and especially marriage and children.

[t-8900]

looks, money, status WILL ALWAYS MATTER

I guess we are just different. For me an average looking girl would be fine. She could work fries at a Mcdonalds and have zero status and I'd still be madly in love with her if all's she did was treat me right. When a girl who i didn't find attractive in college bought me a meal at chic-fil-a I broke down crying my eyes out because no one ever did anything nice for me like that before. And she became a goddess in my eyes over a very brief time. But maybe we're all just different and my emotions run higher than yours do. For the record many girls have told me the ring I bought my girl was beautiful. I didn't have fancy diamons but it was pure sterling silver and had a beautiful sapphire in the center.

[t-8900]

@NicoletteXO but she wants an already assembled self made man. so there's already a difference in your mentality.

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

you need to realize that people get what they can manage to get in life. you prefer an average girl because you can't get a hot girl. If you're willing to have such low standards in terms of looks, then you're probably not the hottest guy on the block.

If I worked extremely hard for my money , I took the initiative to build myself while you prefer to take the easy way out and remain broke.
why would I go for someone like you?
I can get someone who is just as hardworking, intelligent, ambitious as me.

If you were a hot guy like channing tatum, why would you have to settle for an average looking girl?
If I work hard to become a body builder, why would I have to settle for an overweight girl?

[t-8900]

@shaysh87 what do you define as hot hun? Lets start with that one. it's very subjective. Yeah I dont know a single "hottest guy on the block". But you're telling me even rich guys dont often go for average women who aren't gold diggers?

"If I worked extremely hard for my money , I took the initiative to build myself while you prefer to take the easy way out and remain broke."

I didn't, i've probably worked way harder than you ever have or will. But if you want to come and unload trucks and pallets, and do hard labor work to prove you can do what i did then please by all means show me up!

"I can get someone who is just as hardworking, intelligent, ambitious as men"
Right because it wasn't ambitious that I started working as young as I could to be self sufficient while you were around my age playing around with fuck boys and partying. Okay? I dont want you! lol i hate people like you. i'm good! I have rich cousins, I know about that life. Half my family are multi millionaires that own a huge swath of America's whole agricultural industry and that's all i'll say on it. Chances are some of the produce going into your gut was grown on their land.

[t-8900]

@shaysh87 ok link like 5 rings you would EXPECT to be given. lets start with that. And let me ask this. What happens if he's okay with buying other gems but not diamonds for moral and ethical reasons?

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

There is a difference between "working hard" and "working smart".

Unintelligent people work hard their entire lives with no success. Smart people work smart so they can succeed.

Its not impossible to get out of poverty if you are smart and plan well enough.

When I went to college, I worked part time, went to school full time. Every night I only got 3-5 hours of sleep. I had no leisure, no friends, no time to visit my family. I had no money to eat out, no money to buy basic things such as underwear, deodorant. I had to wear a broken shoe with a hole in it for a year. But I made sure to get internships, do well in my studies.

Now I am doing better in life than my poor parents ever did. And I have plans to make even more money when I'm older.

People tend to marry those of their own kind. Dumb people marry other dumb people. Smart people tend to marry other smart people. Rich people tend to marry other rich people. Unattractive people tend to marry other unattractive people.

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

[ok link like 5 rings you would EXPECT to be given. lets start with that. And let me ask this. What happens if he's okay with buying other gems but not diamonds for moral and ethical reasons?]

I don't need a man to buy me 5 rings. I can buy my own 5 rings. And when I do get those 5 rings, you have no right to tell me that I can't buy it or that I'm showing off. I WORKED HARD FOR MY MONEY SO I have every right to enjoy my money

[NicoletteXO]

I have to say you are spitting hot fire shaysh87. I agree with pretty much everything you've said.

[NicoletteXO]

"People tend to marry those of their own kind. Dumb people marry other dumb people. Smart people tend to marry other smart people. Rich people tend to marry other rich people. Unattractive people tend to marry other unattractive people."

And people who won't offer high value things to their partners, attract people who won't offer high value things to them.

[t-8900]

@shaysh87 thats not what i asked or what i expected. you can wear all the jewelry you want. it's your money, do what you want with it. But like I said I'd make it a point that if you were demanding a 3K ring. I would tell you "dont worry I'll buy my own too". get the 3K ring MAYBE. but if i did i'd wear the cheapest f'ing ring at amazon to make it a point about how much i think about the value of the ring in our relationship and the girl wouldn't be allowed to give me shit for it because hey, I got her the damn ring she wanted so badly. And no i dont want a damn thing in return. I've had an ex try to buy me a sportscar, which i shot down FAST. I didn't give her the choice. I told her if she bought it that I would be sad, not happy.

[NicoletteXO]

@t-8900 That's messed up. You clearly need the money, yet you shoot down an offer of a gift? For what? And what ex? What you're sharing with me privately and here is starting to not add up.

[t-8900]

yeah i suppose rich girls like rich boys, that makes sense. but not all rich boys like rich girls. Men are the ones to "marry down" in the upper echelons of society. rarely is the reverse true. could be that many are slaves to their biological nature.

[t-8900]

@NicoletteXO when i was 19 i dated a 36 year old. She offered and I said no. Because i dont take what hasn't been earned. My father was offered money from his uncle after the divorce and he said no too. We dont take what isn't earned in our family. that's not pride, that's just being a damn man about it.

[NicoletteXO]

@t-8900 Wow. Well aren't you showing your true colours now?

[NicoletteXO]

@t-8900 So, your father didn't "take what hadn't been earned" and as a result he allowed his child - you - to become homeless. And now that child is still a child.

[NicoletteXO]

And it also begs the question of why you were dating someone, and you didn't feel that you had "earned" the right to a gift. Clearly you didn't not feel you were bringing your a game - if you were, receiving a gift would not be an issue.

[t-8900]

Because the man treats his woman, not the other way around. It's expected by those that raised me

[NicoletteXO]

@t-8900 Yet you seem to be championing a cheapskate ring mentality here.

[t-8900]

Of course I didn't earn it! That money wasn't made by me so I have. I right to it. I'm in it to be loved, held, nurtured. The money is worthless to me. Money doesn't make me happy.

[t-8900]

No I bash in the idea of demanding a specific price point or a certain tier. I had no issues with real precious metals and stones. But the price point doesn't reflect. People look for deals on jewelry all the time. Being a competitive shopper is smart. You can sometimes find the same ring $500 cheaper. Is it a problem to da e when buying?

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

You like to look for exceptions all the time. The reality is that rich people tend to marry other rich people. Poor people tend to marry other poor people. People marry those within their own social class.

Only in Hollywood movies you see rich men marrying maids. But that is the furthest thing from the truth.

Obama married a high profile lawyer. Biden married a very educated wife with a PHD. Bill Clinton married a powerful lawyer and politician too. Currently doctors are now marrying other doctors , rather than nurses. It’s no longer the 1950s where all men married maids or housewives.

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

And if you are poor , just admit you are poor. Don’t accuse other people of being “materialistic” for wanting a decent ring. If you can’t even afford a decent ring, you are in no way shape or form to support a family.

[t-8900]

Maybe I just thought there was more to love and I was just being naive to think that the person and their feelings mattered. I guess it really is all just a business decision. Okay madam I will leave you to it now. I clearly am not meant for love in this life.

[NicoletteXO]

Sadly, it's men who can't even take responsibility for the truth of their own station in life, and spend their days blaming women for it, who will never achieve anything much in life or with women.

[t-8900]

I did. I just said it to you and you got angry over it. 🤷‍♂️

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

Looks money and status matter. Only people who don’t have looks money or status would say that it doesn’t matter. It’s a coping mechanism. I’m sure you wouldn’t date a fat woman over a hot one

[t-8900]

I've never had good exp with women in either categories. So who cares. I'm worthless I get it. I'll die alone and you can be happier for it knowing that undesirables like me will not be a burden to you anymore. Best wishes

[NicoletteXO]

Well, that was an incredible display of why NOT to entertain a man who fronts with a shitty ring. Ultimately, it's about his own self worth - which of course, if you become his wife, is going to impact you on the daily. A man who thinks a decent ring is a problem, clearly cannot provide one, and expects "love" to come to him without proper effort or investment in his woman or his life. When he doesn't get what he wants at a low-ball offer, he sulks and plays victim instead of finding a way. The ring is ultimately a symbol of effort, care and investment - it's not just about the money, but it's also not NOT about the money - because that's what makes it tangible, and not just an empty promise. Words are cheap, a nice ring is not.

[t-8900]

Welp that's not how you worded things In pm. But sure w/e. It's great when I applied similar logic to defend you. and others in the virginity topic but not when it comes to this. Smh. 😩

[t-8900]

A girl demanding a guy pay x amount is okay. A guy asks for a virgin, not okay. A guy who tries to show that lived exp plays a role in individual outcomes to end stereotypes, the real bad guy. I'm done with this society. Let everyone treat everyone like shit. I never seen a better argument for saying fuck the world then I'm seeing between this thread and that one. I can go get laid but I'm after something meaningful. Alas if it's not getting laid it's money. No one prioritizes the individual they process too. Never mind the greater risks for a man in child custody. Smh w/e Seriously. I'll look elsewhere for love I'm sure there's some else out there who feels like the relationship is already he important part of... the relationship

[t-8900]

Imagine a guy willing to bend over backwards for you, give you everything he can, sign a prenup for you, take care of you in sickness and health and all's he's asking for in return is to be held and told he's loved. And that gets thrown out the window over a ring. A very beautiful ring at that. But one that doesn't set the bar of your standards believing instead that showing it off to peers with their approval or sizing up is more important. Maybe somewhere there's a crumb of your heart for the actual guy? I hope...

[shaysh87]

@NicoletteXO

Once I had a guy friend who decided to “settle” for a wife. She really wasn’t his top pick but he married her anyways because he was running out of time. He said that he only spent 200 on her ring. He told me “ I would only shell out real money for a nice ring for two exes ( he was the most passionate about in his life”

I would have to agree. If I were to marry the love of my life I would spend a few hundred more to get a decent ring rather than simply look for the cheapest thing available. When it comes to love that big , it’s worth paying a bit more for it

Now I’m not saying everyone should overspend but just don’t treat the love of your life cheaply

It’s Also not a good sign a man will take good care of you down the road if he’s so cheap with you on the biggest day of his life

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

A man who is too poor to support a family is not husband material. Like you said , men should be providers. Most women would not be ok supporting their husbands.

There are plenty of financially stable intelligent men who are also caring loving husbands. What makes you think that all financially stable men can’t be loving or caring? Are only poor men loving and caring?

[t-8900]

@shaysh87 no you missed what i said. i am questioning weather someone like YOU can find any space in your heart for the man after all the money and validation. if you could fine some small place in your heart to prioritize you man in some small way. What's more I honestly don think a $1,400 run is cheap. I bought one once for a girl. I said you demanding a price tag is the issue. Also I won't do diamonds unless you can 100% prove to me they were lab made and not blood diamonds. And if you demanded such a rock like that you'd be out. I won't deal with a girl who is okay to think that type of practice of acquiring a raw material is okay and a symbol of "love" so that's where you're not understanding me.

[t-8900]

@shaysh87 i think our disconnect comes down to this
You: Expensive Ring = Love
Me: I've been wining and dining you on my dime for the last 2 years and bought you tons of gifts including jewelry. and this is the hill you chose to die on.

[t-8900]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5kWu1ifBGU

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

Excuses poor men make so they can buy their wives the cheapest rings. The next thing you would be complaining about is the cost of raising children. You’d be suggesting feeding your kids the cheapest food later on.

[t-8900]

@shaysh87 nope now i KNOW you're just being full of shit. My child's belly means more than a worthless rock. Idc at this point. I've said my piece and now i feel better for having seen that i'm not the problem here. if i wanted the cheapest ring they got rings on amazon that are $8.99

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

You wouldn’t be able to feed your child good food or send your kid to college anyways. So stop acting like a hot shot. You’re not a hot shot at all. How are you supposed to act like you measure up to rich men?

[t-8900]

@shaysh87 no one here is acting like a "hot shot" but you. How is this not abundantly clear to you yet? You STILL haven't said one damn thing that separates you from all the other women in this world. still waiting for that unique quality that makes you worth it. Mr "hot shot" over here showed a lot of humility over the last few posts. And you STILL can't see it's you with the ego. smh. Good luck girl! peace

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

I don’t even know what your problem is. If I were to buy a ring for my husband on the biggest day of my life , I’ll invest in a nice ring. Not some cheap ass 200 dollar fake gold that you get from Walmart.

There’s nothing wrong with expecting something decent on the biggest day of your life.

[shaysh87]

@t-8900

If you can’t even afford to get your wife anything decent , how are you supposed to but your kids anything decent?

[Chriscunning]

Damn, I missed a good run there LOL

[Rob17792]

@shaysh87 I never said I was poor

[Rob17792]

@shaysh87 I never said I was poor. You're just assuming it.

[qwert1234]

It's actually understandable at times. I think for most women, engagement/marriage is a one-time thing and they will not get a chance to do it again so they dream big.

If it only happens for the engagement ring (and wedding ring) - then I think it's ok. But if she wants expensive stuffs all the time - red flag.

[WowwGirl]

That's nice

[NicoletteXO]

I think that's fair and sweet. You get it. It is a symbol of the connection and what he is investing into that. I think most normal women will take account of a man's position in life. Like, to me, a $5K ring from a guy studying his Masters full time with no income is a big investment. Whereas, a $10K ring from a super wealthy trust fund baby might not be such a big investment. I would probably be more impressed by the $5K one from the first guy, because for him, I know it's much more 'expensive'. Which means he's really putting himself on the line for the relationship. Which means, I would feel deeply moved to reciprocate that.

[WowwGirl]

@NicoletteXO I agree it's situational and about effort

[Chriscunning]

I don't think much of it. Everyone wants nice fancy cars, fancy house, an expensive ring is part and parcel of expectations.

Girls are always bragging and showing of their rings, comparing them with other girls, etc. I have seen this first hand over and over again.

You want to make your girl feel special, put in the effort to get her a good ring. Good means big with a good diamond (i. e. not yellow and not full of visible imperfections).

[t-8900]

"Everyone wants nice fancy cars, fancy house"
nah that's never been me. But i suppose i can't fit in with such a crowd and so i never have to worry about getting entangled with such women.

[Chriscunning]

@t-8900 Well I do think generally speaking it is true. But as with everything there are always exceptions to any rule. I have friends who refuse to fit into social norms and refuse to get married.

[t-8900]

All those things for me are a means to an end for attracting a mate. But such things I don't know never gave me pleasure. If marriage wasn't on my mind a car that runs, a studio apt, and a dog are all I'd need

[Diodoro]

Nothing one way or the other. I think it might be a bit unrealistic and some situations, but nothing wrong with wanting it.

The whole concept of having a specific percentage of salary for a wedding ring seems like a very dated reference that benefited some Diamond corporations back in the day.

Just like the diamonds last forever catchphrase

[HOAAH]

She must really like "material" stuff, like the material girl song.
I think that an expensive ring is a waste of money and better put that money in investments unless she is rich or her husband is rich than why now?
if you can afford it go for it.

[Shizunk]

I want a lot of things, can't get them all but nothing wrong with wanting them. If my woman wanted expensive not nice, I'd definitely try to talk her out of it and negotiate as that's the biggest most vain waste in the known world, but no judgement for wanting it. She can dream, she's just not getting it is all.

[egarcia1360]

I get wanting a nice, good-looking, well-made ring, but worrying a lot about the dollar value or carat count comes off as picky and materialistic, especially when there are so many high-quality yet affordable options available nowadays, like lab-grown diamonds or moissanite.

[Pummel]

Well if she wants a ring with a high dollar amount because she wants to tell everyone how much it costs than I would assume that such a woman is shallow, but if she likes a ring that costs a small fortune without knowing it's cost than I would say she has good taste

[Anonymous]

They are magpies. They like shiny expensive things like some animals mating in the wild like bright shiny rocks. They also show off to their peers and make single women jealous (that's very important). Finally it represents another hurdle the man must cross to prove his worth as opposed to his love. It's a measure of his existing wealth or earning potential.

[globetrotter22]

It’s a bad sign if she openly says this.

If she secretly would like this that’s a bit different. But if she’s the type to expect this then the guy should just by no ring at all and call it quits. It’s a huge red flag of what kind of person she really is.

[Anonymous]

That they have fallen for the diamond industry (De Beers) propaganda it was they that 'suggested' that the ring should cost the equivalent of one month of a man's salary and that the ring is a gift, were as the ring is a symbol of a promise to marry and remains the property of the groom.

[red324]

Good thing I work at mcdonalds... part time

[nellie24]

First thing comes too my mind 'a gold digger'. Do you love the guy or his money? When inlove, materialistic things shouldn't matter. What if he can't afford the ring you want but still wants too marry you. Are u going too reject him and he's all u ever wanted in a man but he can't afford that diamond ring. Love him for who he is and not what he can give you ;)

[Interstate]

Unreasonable and materialistic. She has to be the center of attention, and think she is all that, just because her other half can fork out the $$ on an overpriced piece of jewelry.

[Pandupillu]

I would think that she is more concerned about the the ring being big than the actual engagement. However there is also another side to the story. It so happens sometimes, it is a girl's dream to have a big wedding, so once she finds a suitable guy who is well off, I don't think in this scenario she is wrong or anything to ask for a big ring.

[MisteryMe]

She cares more about material possessions than the relationship.

[NicoletteXO]

What makes you think that? I think it's a symbol of a man going the extra mile, and I think that for most normal women this gesture is just going to be an upwards spiral, with her then continuing to go the extra mile for him.

[MisteryMe]

@NicoletteXO It seemed to me that the tone of the question implied she'd be upset if she didn't get an expensive engagement ring, which is what I replied to.

Taking the question further than that... if the guy is loaded and he cheaps out on her engagement ring, I can see her feeling like he doesn't care as much about her as he should. However, if she's goign to get mad she didn't get an expensive ring because the guy just doesn't have the means or he's going to run himself into debt that he really shouldn't, that's a different issue.

[NicoletteXO]

Yes, I’d broadly agree with that.

[Snsns]

That she's stupid. What function does a ring do that you won't even notice when your not looking at it?
Might as well get £5 ring from the party shop, what difference does it make?
It's. jus there for the representation that you two are bound together... It doesn't matter the price of the ring... it's like paying for £50000 oxygen

[Snsns]

Why pay overpriced oxygen which you won't even notice the difference? Stupid

[snowgirl123]

as long as her man can afford it. she must know what he can afford and where he wants to get in life. she must choose to accept him and his goals in life or find someone else that can fit her

[Lucy68]

As long as it's a 2 carat round diamond solitaire with a white gold band I'm happy. Honestly really don't like big and flashy rings but that's just me.

[PAcc92]

They are whores.

Marriage is for morons. Get yourself a nice catholic hispanic girl, they're much better than white women, they also tend to be okay with not marrying as marriage is expensive in South America.

[Anonymous]

Personally I want tatto rings, because they're permanent. But also, so many of the guys here act like wanting something nice one time for something that stays with you forever makes you a gold digger. I think it takes more than that, you guys need a dictionary.

[Razp_Sorbet]

I guess it's alright to want one, but getting it is another story. If you get upset with the ring your partner chooses then you're kinda a shitty person. The ring I like isn't even diamond 🤣

[exitseven]

Girls get brainwashed from the wedding industry. They want the ring, the dress , the whole nine yards. It is not their fault.

[Paris13]

High Maintenance and a Problem down the Road. xx

[t-8900]

You are correct Paris! 👏

[Anonymous]

I bought my significant other of 4 years an expensive one. I proposed numerous times never got a yes or a no and I'm still waiting to give the ring to the love of my life. It's a.70ct princess cut with E color VVS1 clarity in 14k white gold. This was an upgrade from the original.50ct princess cut E color VVS1 clarity in 14k white gold. It took me a year and a half almost two years to buy the ring and propose

[NicoletteXO]

I wish you every success. Maybe the woman you are proposing to is not the one, but I hope you find the woman you are meant to be with, and who deeply appreciates this.

[elizabeth000]

I'm a girl myself and I never understood why some women want such an expensive ring. What so you can show off? Just no.

[corny_cooter581]

I don't think it's bad to want an expensive ring but they should be considerate of the person buying it. I personally wouldn't want to put someone in debt over a hunk of jewelry

[Retiever]

I don’t know. When I got married I was very young so money was kind of an issue but I look everywhere to find one that I thought was beautiful. It wasn’t a cheap one I thought it was awesome because it came from my heart ❤️

[Mangospacho]

It’s fine. Most people either want a ring they can show off or don’t care as long as the ring looks nice. If you know you want an expensive ring and have one picked out already, there’s nothing wrong with that.

[jshm2]

It's rather pointless and frivolous.

You'd rather get an expensive wedding ring, or a ring you'll actually wear.

[WowwGirl]

Wedding ring that I wear

[Paradox316]

They have every right to feel that way, and I can sort of see why they feel that way. They want to feel more valued than their partner's money. That they are a worthwhile partner.

[NicoletteXO]

Totally!

[Browneye57]

It shows them commitment.

Marriage... it's been said the amount of money spent on the ceremony is in direct proportion to the percent chance it will fail.

[007kingifrit]

i think she's impractical and stupid. the money could be spent on something more important... like a hot tub =D

[aWes0MeNeSs]

That's how I feel about insanely expensive weddings as well. I just can't fathom spending the equivalent of a down payment on a house or a brand new car on a big party that lasts one day. The memories will occur whether you have all of the fancy, expensive stuff or not.

[007kingifrit]

@aWes0MeNeSs who needs memories when every day can be filled with the warm bubbly caress of a hot tuuuuuuuuuub

i mean the ring will get boring after a while

[aWes0MeNeSs]

That's true!

[TheSpaceGnome]

I think if they want a guy to buy them one, they should also by one for him.

If a lesbian, just edit the sentence in your head.

[StormyWinter]

I'm not sure how it's any different than buying a guy really expensive car / bike

[godfatherfan]

Most of us don't buy a really expensive car or bike. Esp if we can't afford it. The diamond companies want to guilt guys into "3 months salary", which is absurd. I am not spending 6 grand on an engagement ring no matter who she is or how amazing the sex might be.

[StormyWinter]

@godfatherfan fair call, hubby paid $130.00 for mine, I preferred a house and a marriage over sparkle 🤷‍♀️

[dustybiker]

That they are an ideal match for a rich, superficial, man.

[t-8900]

that she can go find someone else to try to be that entitled with ^^

[NicoletteXO]

Sad response from you!

[t-8900]

Ya in sad that you terminated our connection over this too. But I see now what I am worth...

[Anonymous]

They are great examples of what is commonly referred to as MFES, or modern female entitlement syndrome. There is an ICD-10 code for that condition. It is one of the most diagnosed mental disorders today.

[EssenceOfLight]

Congratulations.
She must be good in convincing if she could find a dork who buys her such an expensive bling-bling.

[Rob17792]

Wow what a nasty attitude you got

[zagor]

I think they want something they can pawn for a lot after they dump him.

[NicoletteXO]

Seriously?

[sweetie_01]

In our culture they ask the bride how much money or gold she wants during the marriage. In order for them to have enough money for a while after divorce or abandonment and not be completely dominated by men.

[NicoletteXO]

@sweetie_01 Interesting - where are you from?

[sweetie_01]

@NicoletteXO from Turkey

[NicoletteXO]

@sweetie_01 I've always wanted to go to Turkey. Actually, I find Turkish men are often very generous (that's not why I want to go, but it's an observation!). Many Australian men (not the ones I date, but in general) can be quite withholding. Turkish men have warm hearts and are often focussed on family values. They take pride in caring for their women. It is not surprising they have this practice.

[sweetie_01]

@NicoletteXO Turkish men value family and women, which is a good thing. but it becomes a problem when it is too much. There are men who can't handle separation or cheating, and women suffer as a result. Recently, news of violence against women comes every day in Turkey. In other words, what matters is not where a person is from, but his character. But I can still say that when A Turkish men loves, they really beautiful love.

[NicoletteXO]

@sweetie_01 Yes, I understand that. I've been with men who... lets just say "love too much"... are willing to give 'everything'... but it comes with a cost of perhaps excessive possessiveness, jealousy and controlling behavior. (Obviously I am not condoning cheating, I am talking about possessive behaviour just in general life). So I get it!

[zagor]

@sweetie_01 It must be traditional for women to stay home; when I was in Turkey it seems like 90% of the people you see on the street are male, except for children and the very old.

[TheFlak38]

"I want I want I want give me give me give me" women in a nutshell. Just "give me" but give nothing back. Stupid bitches.

[Anonymous]

She better go by herself one

[jamesgoldman]

I would avoid them personally but if he wants to buy her one then I'll sure help him

[IveGotNoName]

High Maintenance and materialistic.

[noohair]

They want to show off. The markup on diamonds is huge.

[t-8900]

even though diamonds are worthless lol. Just a monopoly keeping them jacked up. Hell they dont even look as nice as Emeralds or Sapphires anyways!

[lorenzomichael]

They should start saving for it now and pitch in when he's about to buy it.

[Waldoe]

"Gold Diggers" if its all about the "Bling" then where is the "Love"

[TheBigGuy9]

If a woman wants anything bigger than a 2 carat, they can hit the road.

[Dchrls78104]

She needs to find a man who can afford her (Is Tiger Woods still single?).

[SamFromFL]

She knows her value, I mean the opposite is wanting a cheap ring

[Anonymous]

Not wifey material. It seems like they care more about the ring than the man. Big turn off, probably just wants to steal your money long term. Who cares about a stupid ring anyway. My sister wears a $30k one. It’s just stupid.

[Anonymous]

Good for them i want one too. Even if i pay for it but its sentimental to me.