Marriage with bare feet?

[Anonymous]

My cousin is getting married and for some reason she decided that she want to be completely barefoot during her wedding. The wedding is not taking place at a beach or so, but inside a hall where everyone will be dancing and so on. The thing is, I will be one of her bridesmaids and she wants us to have bare feet, too, in order to have some kind of unified look and stress how we belong together.

What do you think about this? Is this kind of weird or have you heard of this before?

[DarkCarousel]

I love being barefoot but I don’t like this idea. At the beach, I get that for sure. I’d probably just go with it for a wedding if I’m really close to the person.
Inside a wedding hall seems like a liability with all of the possibilities of stepping on things. Also, I’m imagining the wedding/reception pictures with a bunch of dirty feet and it kind of grosses me out.

[Asker]

I am really close to her, we spent most of our childhood and youth together. But still I feel uncomfortable having to be barefoot. It's not so much because of the hall though, she said the hall will be very clean and since the guests will be wearing very formal shoes I guess they won't track too much dirt either. I also hope they won't take photos of the soles of our feet anyway haha
So anyway, what do you think I should do now? I guess I can't just back out now...

[DarkCarousel]

You can’t predict what other guests might track in… but I would probably do it for someone close to me. Can you wear some type of shoe during the reception?

[Asker]

Unfortunately I can't wear shoes during the reception either. But she said the hall will be extra clean and she will bring some wet towels for us to clean our feet in case they become dirty.
Mmh so I should just do this for her?

[Anonymous]

that is highly unusual and weird. i've never heard of such a thing before. but hey it's her wedding just make sure no one steps on your toes when you're walking or dancing lol. also bring an ice pack with you for later on when it's over so you can ice your feet when you get in the car or in your home or during some slow portion of the evening
or you could jump on the wedding cake up and down with your bare feet and make everyone lick the cake off your feet just joking i'm just joking

[Opinion Owner]

but seriously though bring an ice pack with you for later on in the evening because you'll eventually need it after walking and dancing on those hard floors. and a bottle of tylenol in case you get any inflammation in your feet.

[Opinion Owner]

oh by the way watch out for any broken glass or nails that may be sticking out of the floor or staples or sharp wooden jagged edges on the floor so you don't get your feet cut or have splinters in them

[Opinion Owner]

that is just weird. maybe it's a custom of the bride or the groom and his family who knows some old tradition. i know in cicily or greece i think they used to break plates on the floor during wedding ceremonies and dance around the table (i think greece)

[Opinion Owner]

could be some wedding custom who knows it's just weird though

[Asker]

Yeah, maybe it's some tradition, although she just said that it's because it has always been her dream to have a barefoot wedding, so she is going to be barefoot and says her bridesmaids must be the same.
So you think that's weird? Should I refuse to do as she asks then?

[Opinion Owner]

question for you.. is she going to have the groom go barefoot as well?

[Asker]

Actually I don't know. I thought it was just for her and the bridesmaids, but I realize I haven't asked about the groom. Why do you ask?
And do you think I have to do what she asks of me on her wedding?

[Opinion Owner]

i was just curious if she was going to her the groom be barefoot as well.

[Opinion Owner]

i was also wondering if the groomsmen would be barefoot as well

[Asker]

Maybe they will be.
So what do you think about my problem? What should I do?

[Opinion Owner]

well it's up to you. you can either go to the wedding and be a bridesmaid and not wear any socks or shoes or you can go to the wedding not be a bridesmaid decline the offer of being a bridesmaid still show up and wear shoes or don't have to show up at her wedding. it's entirely up to you what you should do. if you were wearing a dress or bridesmaid gown you could of hid the shoes or sneakers from her under your dress without her knowing but since you're wearing black pants that wouldn't be possible.
what you could do is wrap your foot up in bandages and say you sprained your foot but then she would think it's highly suspicious. just tell her flat out that you're going to wear shoes because being barefooted makes you uncomfortable. speak up for yourself and advocate for yourself if you don't feel comfortable doing something don't do it. the decision is entirely up to you

[Asker]

I can't just not go there, she's my cousin and we grew up together plus I'm her bridesmaid.
So yes, maybe I should just speak up for myself and tell her I'm going to wear socks at her wedding.

[Opinion Owner]

hey why not be more of a daredevil risk taker and tell her you're also going to wear dress shoes or high heel shoes or flat shoes or even more of a risk taker tell her you're going to wear sneakers or boots

[Asker]

Mmh she just replied this:
"Hey sweetheart, well as I said you can't wear socks during the wedding. The idea is to make it a barefoot wedding, so at least my bridesmaids will have bare feet, no exceptions. :)
Now please stop asking me this. You will be barefoot along with me and the other girls, end of story. 😂. Believe me, it's going to look amazing. 🤩
Kiss, Amber"

[Opinion Owner]

well it's up to you if you want to go to her wedding or not or if you want to be a bridesmaid or not or if you just want to attend and not be a bridesmaid. it depends on whatever you're comfortable with doing. don't let her pressure you into anything you're not ready or willing or wanting to do

[Opinion Owner]

there's a difference between social pressure by not wearing socks or shoes vs dangerous activity and not wearing socks and shoes which could result in injury. what she's doing is social pressure which isn't right. did you ask the other bridesmaids how they feel about it and if they're alright with not wearing socks and shoes to her wedding?

[Opinion Owner]

did she mention anything about the groom or groomsmen not wearing socks or shoes at the wedding?

[Asker]

she said nothing about the groom but I didn't ask her.
Yes, I asked her sister who is also going to be a bridesmaid. She said that her sister (the bride) always wanted to marry in her bare feet and that she's looking forward to this because the wedding will be so much more casual and fun with the girls in bare feet plus it will look incredibly cute on the photos.

Mmh so I should maybe refuse it then?

[Opinion Owner]

i'll be back in a while i got an appointment to look at a house out of state. i'll be back on later today we can finish figuring this perdicament out then

[Opinion Owner]

the house had to many structural problems with the foundation and the foundation itself had problems. then there were broken windows and lead paint issues since the house was built in the 1800's. that would of needed to be scraped out and repainted to latex paint. it would of cost 50k to 100k to update and fix and then to add a new electrical heating unit in the place since no gas maine ran through the street and a drive way would of had to be put in there and new kitchen cabinets and backsplash had to be installed plus new rugs and new pvc piping in the basement and in the bathrooms and kitchen since the basement had copper pipes and only 1 pvc pipe and the bathrooms and kitchen had a very thing pvc pipe in all of those that would have easily clogged. then they were trying to convert an upstairs attic with the slanted ceilings into bedrooms which wouldn't had worked especially given how small the rooms were. and 5 double paine windows needed replacing and two structural support beams in the basement needed replacing to support the horizontal support beam that supported the subfloor support beams of the house

[Opinion Owner]

then there were issues with getting the large gaps in the foundation both on the inside and outside that needed to be repaired and removing all the dirt and giant leveled off boulders and rocks and granite that were in the basement and digging a deeper basement since it was a crouch style basement and it also need to pour concrete at the very bottom to have a proper level floored basement

[Opinion Owner]

and to make matters worse since it was built in the 1800's there was no way of telling if the siding of the house had any tyvec insulation underneath the vinyl siding and all the coaxial had to be removed and replaced with new coaxial wiring and god only knows the condition of the electrical and there was no way of telling if proper water flow would happen since every valve was turned off and red tagged

[Opinion Owner]

the house had at least 7 red tags 2 in the basement for the heating boiling unit 2 in the kitchen and 3 in the upstairs bathroom and to make matters worse all the baseboards would need to be ripped out and put electrical baseboards in and the amp to the house would need a massive upgrade from the current 100 amp to 200 amp

[Opinion Owner]

the red tags were to mark it as winterized for the water not running and heating unit off

[all_hayl]

I did that at my wedding. Who cares about what other people want or expect. Screw tradition. It’s your wedding. Do whatever you want.

[all_hayl]

In should clarify. Screw what other people *think*.

[Asker]

What do you mean? It's my cousin's wedding, not my own.
So should I do as she insists or somehow try to wear socks?

[all_hayl]

Oops. Well, regardless of whose wedding it is, why should they care what other people think? Everyone has an opinion, so they should do whatever they want. It is, after all, THEIR wedding. You can always not attend if you don’t like how they’re doing it.

[Asker]

I still don't get your point. The thing is, it is her wedding but as her bridesmaid she says I have to be barefoot. I feel really shy about my feet though, so this is kind of an issue for me.
So are you saying, since it's her wedding I'll have to adapt and do what she says?

[all_hayl]

You almost seem to be implying that you feel she should do her wedding differently because you’re shy about your feet. Maybe this is an opportunity to deal with or get over your insecurity.
So, yes, it’s HER wedding. Adapt to what she asks or don’t be in the wedding party.

[all_hayl]

You seem more concerned about yourself and your feet than you are about celebrating your friend’s wedding and letting them have their day how they want to have it.

[all_hayl]

It doesn’t matter what I think. You’ll have to ask your cousin. I can’t predict the future. Honestly, you sound very selfish and immature.
Yes, you CAN just not go to the wedding. However, the grownup, mature thing to do would be get over your foot insecurity. That’s one of the problems with insecurity - the fears that are involved make many of our decisions for us, and those decisions often don’t end well
Anyways, I’m moving on from this conversation. You have a choice. Take care.

[Asker]

Yeah, I understand what you mean and I also feel bad about it...

[Asker]

Maybe you are right and I'm just being very selfish. I really feel bad about it now...

[Alwayreckles93]

I never heard of such a thing. She can't forced you and the rest of the bridesmaids to go bare foot , What else is she going to tell you girls what underwear you should wear too?

[Asker]

Haha no, I guess she won't. But nobody will see our underwear, right?

That's what she wrote to me when I asked her:
Hi and of course it‘s fine you are asking.
I always dreamt of marrying in my bare feet, because it’s going to be the happiest day of my life and being barefoot the whole day will make it perfect. It’s bare feet for you girls, too, because as my bridesmaids, of course you will have to share this moment with me and it will also look much nicer with all the girls in black pants and barefoot during the ceremony. There will be a professional photographer too and it would look out of place if some of you were wearing shoes or socks. You are also welcome to paint your toenails
So yes, you will definitely be barefoot and I’m sorry this makes you feel uncomfortable, but I can assure you it won’t be weird at all.
I’m soo much looking forward to this and I’m so happy to have you as my bridesmaid.
Hugs and kisses,
Amber

[soccerchick4eva]

I haven't been or heard of one like that but hey so be it if its what she wants haha :)

[Asker]

Yeah well, I really feel uncomfortable being completely barefoot around other people. And everyone else will be wearing shoes, well most people at least. So I don't know if I'm supposed to just do what she wants or if this request is really weird.

[soccerchick4eva]

ooh so the guests aren't barefoot too! Hmm I guess you could share how you feel to her about it if it really bothers you but if its all the bridesmaids it wouldn't look that weird if you all are :)

[Asker]

No, the guests will be wearing shoes, only the bride and her bridesmaids are expected to have bare feet.
Ok, I just wrote her a message and asked if I can wear shoes or at least socks. Let's see what she replies.

[soccerchick4eva]

ooh interesting! I feel that cause others would be not wearing it with you, it should be fine :)

[Asker]

She just replied:

Hi and of course it‘s fine you are asking :).
I always dreamt of marrying in my bare feet, because it’s going to be the happiest day of my life and being barefoot the whole day will make it perfect. It’s bare feet for you girls, too, because as my bridesmaids, of course you will have to share this moment with me and it will also look much nicer with all the girls in black pants and barefoot during the ceremony. There will be a professional photographer too and it would look out of place if some of you were wearing shoes or socks. You are also welcome to paint your toenails :)
So yes, you will definitely be barefoot and I’m sorry this makes you feel uncomfortable, but I can assure you it won’t be weird at all. :)
I’m soo much looking forward to this and I’m so happy to have you as my bridesmaid.
Hugs and kisses,
Amber

[Asker]

Mmh what do you think I should do?

[soccerchick4eva]

Aw she seems lovely! I would have had no problem with it, its her day so whatever makes her seem happy and it doesn't seem that bad :)

[Asker]

Yeah, she is a lovely girl 🥰
So you'd say what she is asking is actually not too much to ask? So I guess I'll have no choice but to attend the wedding with bare feet then?

[soccerchick4eva]

For me personally, I would be fine with it. In saying that, I'm not the one going, you are, so it's up to how you feel about it overall. You need to decide on what you're comfortable with or not :)

[Asker]

Mmh yeah sure.
I've asked again now: "Hey, thanks for the explanation, makes sense of course. :) The thing is, I really feel uncomfortable with people seeing my bare feet, so I wanted to ask again if maybe I can leave on my socks (no shoes is fine). Would that be ok?"

[soccerchick4eva]

If that is how you feel, then for sure ask :)

[Asker]

"Hi. Nope, you'll have to take your socks off, too. Bare feet will create a relaxed atmosphere during the wedding and actually I'd love to have everyone barefoot, but I guess that would be too much to ask, but at least my bridesmaids must have bare feet for sure :). So yeah, people will see your feet, but as I said you can paint your toenails and I'm sure nobody will take a close look at them 😂."

Mmh sounds like her definitive answer, right? So I guess I'll have no choice then 😑

[soccerchick4eva]

Yeah seems like it! Just go into it with an open mind and don't overthink it. Maybe it'll be a pretty cool experience in the end :

[Asker]

Mmh yes, but it's going to be so embarrassing for me...
But I guess there is really no way to avoid this now. And since the photographers will be taking photos of us during the whole wedding, I also fear that my feet will show on at least some of them. Or do you think I'll be able to hide them from the camera somehow? 😅

[soccerchick4eva]

Maybe your dress will be long enough?

[Asker]

No, she wrote in her first message that she wants us to wear black pants.
But I thought maybe I'll manage not to be in the photos or never full-body, but maybe that's a little unrealistic, right?

[soccerchick4eva]

Black pants might be long enough? just try to enjoy the wedding and the people around and I think youd forget it all :)

[Asker]

Haha thank you. Yeah, I guess there's not much else I can do.
No, my pants won't be hiding my feet, they don't even cover my ankles. So I guess I will probably be seen barefoot on some of the photos, right?

[soccerchick4eva]

Maybe but who knows, stop overthinking! hahaha

[Asker]

Yes, you are right. It's not getting easier by overthinking it...
If you want I can tell you how it was afterwards.

[soccerchick4eva]

Yeah you can always let me know if you want :) haha

[Asker]

Sure, I will :)
by the way is this you in your profile picture?

[soccerchick4eva]

Alrighty :)
Yeah it is haha

[Asker]

Nice. You look cute :)

[soccerchick4eva]

haha thank you :)

[Asker]

Hi! So, the wedding is over and I’m still alive haha. Gotta say it was really hard for me though. Of course me and the other bridesmaids had to be there earlier with my cousin. She was already barefoot and right away told us to take off our shoes and socks, too. She also asked us if we could help serving food and drinks later. From then on, every time someone I knew joined the wedding, it felt pretty awkward and I felt like they were looking at my feet. So eventually the whole celebration started and I was standing behind my cousin. Then lots of photos were taken and I fear many of them full-body, so they won’t hide my feet. Later on, I had to walk around serving the other guests. Several of them commented on us being barefoot, they said this was such an amazing idea to create a comfortable and sympathetic atmosphere for everyone. One of the guys called me a “cute barefoot fairy” once, I suppose my face got red as a tomato. I felt a little relieved later, because most people were getting drunk, so it felt like they’re not going to pay any attention to my feet any more. Surprisingly, the hall stayed pretty clean throughout the whole celebration, so my feet didn't get very dirty. All in all, I have to say it was a beautiful celebration, but for me personally it was also very embarrassing to endure all this.

[soccerchick4eva]

Aw I’m glad you are alive for sure haha. Sounds like it was tough but at least you pulled through 🙌😄

[Anonymous]

I personally would never attend a wedding that is barefooted even if I was a bridesmaid mostly because I hate feet I can’t even stand looking at them I am especially uncomfortable walking around barefoot

[Asker]

So would you refuse to participate even if it was your cousin getting married and you are the bridesmaid?

[ChrisMaster69]

Yeah been to a few weddings like this.

male sure you take some slip on pumps or something as well

[Asker]

Really? So it's not that uncommon then.
Can you tell me about those weddings? So were they like my cousin's wedding, meaning that only the bride and bridesmaids were barefoot?

[ChrisMaster69]

Yeah a couple were Celtic and two others small relaxed summer events.

[Asker]

Oh, so is it common at celtic weddings to be barefoot? And is everyone barefoot or just the bride and her girls?

[slatyb]

It's weird, maybe a dominant/submissive thing with her fiancee. It's a completely unreasonable demand to place on the attendants.

[Asker]

It's a demand only for her bridesmaids. I don't know why she's asking that.

[slatyb]

Bridesmaids, attendants, whatever. It's absurd.

[slatyb]

Don't be afraid to say no.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it's weird, but it's an aesthetic. Maybe she just doesn't want to wear heels? I'd totally agree with that!

[Asker]

Yes, she doesn't want to wear heels or any kind of shoes on her wedding because she says it looks so much nicer and adds to a relaxed atmosphere as well as feeling better. But she also insists that her bridesmaids must have bare feet along with her.
So do you think I have to do what she wants at her wedding?

[Asker]

Hi! So, the wedding is over and I’m still alive haha. Gotta say it was really hard for me though. Of course me and the other bridesmaids had to be there earlier with my cousin. She was already barefoot and right away told us to take off our shoes and socks, too. She also asked us if we could help serving food and drinks later. From then on, every time someone I knew joined the wedding, it felt pretty awkward and I felt like they were looking at my feet. So eventually the whole celebration started and I was standing behind my cousin. Then lots of photos were taken and I fear many of them full-body, so they won’t hide my feet. Later on, I had to walk around serving the other guests. Several of them commented on us being barefoot, they said this was such an amazing idea to create a comfortable and sympathetic atmosphere for everyone. One of the guys called me a “cute barefoot fairy” once, I suppose my face got red as a tomato. I felt a little relieved later, because most people were getting drunk, so it felt like they’re not going to pay any attention to my feet any more. Surprisingly, the hall stayed pretty clean throughout the whole celebration, so my feet didn't get very dirty. All in all, I have to say it was a beautiful celebration, but for me personally it was also very embarrassing to endure all this.

[Anonymous]

It's unusual but I would love to go to a barefoot marriage

[Asker]

Hi. Why would you love to do that?

[Opinion Owner]

High heels are very uncomfortable so barefoot would be a better think. I really love being barefoot and a dressy outfit with barefeet looks so cute. A barefoot party should also be a very chilly place

[Asker]

Mmh, for me it was kind of embarrassing having to be like that and everyone being able to see my bare feet. But it was just the bride and bridesmaids who had to be barefoot, for everyone else it was optional.

[Opinion Owner]

I think it's a good exercice to be more confident

[Anonymous]

I had to attend my sister's wedding barefoot too even though I hated it and I still find it weird.

[Asker]

Hi! Why did you have to be barefoot at her wedding?
And do you generally hate to show your feet?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes I generally hate showing my feet. It was my younger sister's wedding and according to an ancient tradition of the groom's family, the unmarried elder sister must serve barefoot at the wedding. So even though I hated the idea the family really insisted on it giving me no choice.

[Asker]

I also hate showing my feet, so I feel you!
I didn't know about that tradition, I think it's a little sexist. You say you had to serve at her wedding, so what did you have to do exactly?
And was it only about being without shoes or did they make you take off your socks, too?
And I suppose you were the only barefoot girl on that wedding then?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes I also hated that it's really sexist. I had to do the errands of the wedding (carrying stuff, looking after the guests etc) as the couple and the families please. And no they didn't let me keep my socks too! Yes I was the only barefoot one in the wedding which made it even more embarrassing so you're luckier at least in that.

[Asker]

Wow, that's really humiliating. Being their servant during the wedding is one thing, I guess that's fine for one evening if you are doing it for your sister. But having to do it with bare feet makes it much more embarrassing. So I guess that normally your sister didn't get to see your bare feet either, right?
And do you know what the purpose of this tradition is?

It's a little better in my case as I'm not the only barefoot girl, but still it is bad enough for me...

[Opinion Owner]

I think it was seen as a punishment to the elder sister for "failing to marry" and as a sign of shame and act to demean herself in order to break her "bad luck". I found it really humiliating too! Yes my sister knew how I'd hate to do this and even though she generally loves seeing me uncomfortable, she even offered me to make the bridesmaids to go barefoot too, so I wouldn't be the only one.

[Asker]

Wow, your sister is really cute that she offered that. So why didn’t you accept it? Wouldn’t it have helped a little if they would have been barefoot, too?
Yeah, the bare feet are probably meant to be a sign of shame and humiliation then. But it’s so mean to punish a girl for not being married.
Did people comment on your bare feet or did you have the impression they didn’t care?
And were you also photographed with your bare feet? Cause that’s one thing I’m also afraid of.

[Opinion Owner]

Not being the only one definitely would've helped but I refused it in the beginning because I was really shocked and didn't want other girls to be also "punished" like this because of me. And I think I believed that I could get away from it somehow until the last minute. And on the wedding day, seeing that I have no escape I went to my sister and begged her to do it as I was really ashamed but she said that now it's "too late" so I had to be the only one. And after that to this day I believe that maybe she was the one who brought this "tradition" to the family because she knew how I'd hate it.
I felt everyone's eyes on my feet throughout like they were laughing at me, especially the people who know me and never seen me before without my boots and socks. Yeah there are a lot of photos and videos of me walking around barefoot unfortunately.

[Asker]

Maybe the other girls wouldn’t have found it as humiliating as we do? I probably would have accepted her offer.
I can imagine how it must have felt to have bare feet while everyone else was wearing shoes. It must have been so bad…
Couldn’t you have told the photographer that she should not take photos or videos of you or at least only photos without feet?

Yeah, I guess it’s possible your sister could have brought this tradition to the family. My sister is the same, she would do that too if she had the chance. Maybe you should ask her if it was her, now that everything is over? :)

[Asker]

How old were you when this happened, if I may ask?

[Opinion Owner]

It's an humiliating situation no matter what others think. There were more then one photographers and I was really too miserable to talk to anyone about this. She wouldn't admit it even if she did it, maybe thinking that I'd get a revenge.
I was 30 and my sis was 25 when this happened. Why did you ask?

[Asker]

I can imagine how bad it must have been for you :(
So are those photos visible somewhere? That would make it worse, right? If people were looking at those photographs a lot.
I asked for your age because I thought maybe for some reason it gets easier when you grow older. But since you were already 30 and still feeling so ashamed about your feet, I guess that's not true.
But at least it's over and you survived it :)
Now I'm thinking about that wedding all the time, it's going to be so embarrassing to walk there with bare feet...
But do you think there will be a way for me to avoid this and leave on my socks?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah the photos are all around, even shared on Facebook but luckily I managed to untag myself from the photos a few hours after they are posted so that hopefully my friends could not see them.
Those things don't get easier as you grow older, they get worse as you get more and more
used to them.
Yeah I survived it but it still bothers me every time I think about it...
I'm so sorry they put you in a similiar situation. Can't you just really refuse to be her bridesmaid and wear shoes?

[Asker]

Oh my god, I don't wanna imagine being tagged on those barefoot photos...
Sorry to hear you still have to think about this. But maybe it also was a good experience in some way?
Mmh no, I don't think I can tell her that. I agreed months ago to be her bridesmaid and since we are very close and grew up together since we were children, I don't think backing out is an option. I also just told her I wanted to wear socks during the wedding, and this is what she replied:
"Hey sweetheart, well as I said you can't wear socks during the wedding. The idea is to make it a barefoot wedding, so at least my bridesmaids will have bare feet, no exceptions.
Now please stop asking me this. You will be barefoot along with me and the other girls, end of story. . Believe me, it's going to look amazing. 🤩
Kiss, Amber"

[Opinion Owner]

What do you mean it was good in some way?
Do you know the other bridesmaids? Maybe they don't want to do it neither so it'd be easier to convince her if you do it together. This isn't right, making girls go barefoot against their will...

[Asker]

I meant that maybe you learned from this experience and it made it easier to overcome your shyness in the future?
Yeah, I know the other girls, I asked her sister who is also a bridesmaid and she said that her sister (the bride) always wanted to marry in her bare feet and that she's looking forward to this because the wedding will be so much more casual and fun with the girls in bare feet plus it will look incredibly cute on the photos. I think the other bridesmaids also want it, so I guess I would be alone fighting against this haha
Now my mom said, it's my cousin's wish for her wedding day and I have no right to refuse it. She said I will have no choice but to do what she says, but I should see the fact that I have bare feet against my will as part of my wedding gift to her.
Mmh do you think she is right about that?

[Opinion Owner]

It really did not made it easier to overcome it, even made me more aware of it...
Hmm your mother made it really hard for you to get away. Maybe if you try to explain your cousin (and mother) why you don't want to be barefoot in that situation they could sympathize and let you get away with it? I mean doesn't your mother know that you hate showing your feet?

[Asker]

Oh, sorry to hear that. So you also never wear sandals in summer, right?
Of course my mom knows how shy I am. But she thinks in that case it would be wrong to let me get away with it. She says it's her wedding so if she insists that our feet must be bare, then we have to do as she asks and stop bitching around.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah I don't even own any sandals.
I don't understand why she doesn't want you to get away with it. Just make sure she understands that how this is like a big punishment for you.

[Asker]

She knows exactly how it is for me, because I have been like this since I was little. But she also thinks now that I'm an adult I have to get over this. And she says that for the wedding I will have no choice, so I should regard it as a useful opportunity to overcome my feet shyness.

[Opinion Owner]

Wow it looks like you don't have a way out then. So sorry!

[Asker]

Mmh yes. I also don't see a way out. I don't want to imagine how it will be with everyone seeing me barefoot.
Maybe I can tell you afterwards how it went, if you want.

[Opinion Owner]

Well at least you will not be the only one barefoot so I don't think that you'll attract much attention. Yes let me know how it went, when is the wedding date?

[Asker]

I will. Next weekend.

[Opinion Owner]

Isn't the weather too cold to be barefoot? Where do you live?

[Asker]

Yes, it's not super cold, but not really warm either. But she said the hall will be very warm (also because of the people in there) so I will actually be glad that my bare feet are going to refresh my body.
I really wonder how it's going to be now...

[Opinion Owner]

I hope you won't have to leave the hall then and I hope it would not be as bad as you though it would be.

[Asker]

Hi! So, the wedding is over and I’m still alive haha. Gotta say it was really hard for me though. Of course me and the other bridesmaids had to be there earlier with my cousin. She was already barefoot and right away told us to take off our shoes and socks, too. She also asked us if we could help serving food and drinks later. From then on, every time someone I knew joined the wedding, it felt pretty awkward and I felt like they were looking at my feet. So eventually the whole celebration started and I was standing behind my cousin. Then lots of photos were taken and I fear many of them full-body, so they won’t hide my feet. Later on, I had to walk around serving the other guests. Several of them commented on us being barefoot, they said this was such an amazing idea to create a comfortable and sympathetic atmosphere for everyone. One of the guys called me a “cute barefoot fairy” once, I suppose my face got red as a tomato. I felt a little relieved later, because most people were getting drunk, so it felt like they’re not going to pay any attention to my feet any more. Surprisingly, the hall stayed pretty clean throughout the whole celebration, so my feet didn't get very dirty. All in all, I have to say it was a beautiful celebration, but for me personally it was also very embarrassing to endure all this.

[Opinion Owner]

That's horrible! I would've kicked that boy with my boots who called you barefoot fairy. I can't believe it's a girl who put you in this humiliating position. I hope the hall was not cold (one of the things that made me suffer). Sorry they put you through this but at least it's all over now you can try to forget it.

[Asker]

Yeah, but I think that guy's having a crush on me, so that's why he said that.
It wasn't cold, maybe a little cool at the beginning, but then my feet got pretty warm quickly.
For me it was really humiliating, but the other girls thought it was fun to spend the whole celebration with bare feet.
I'll try to forget it, but those photos are everywhere now and I can't prevent people from seeing them...

[Opinion Owner]

That's what I was afraid of... Try to get rid of the photos as soon as possible before they spread.

[Asker]

Yeah, I tried that, but not very successfully...
Actually I'd prefer to talk to you in private, but unfortunately both of us are writing anonymously haha

[Opinion Owner]

How not successful?
Yeah I prefer to talk from here I don't want to reveal my profile...

[Asker]

I mean everyone started sharing those pictures on facebook etc. And my aunt sent the photos to all the wedding guests. So no way to stop them from spreading.

[Opinion Owner]

Untag yourself from the photos so at least your friends can't see them. And kindly ask your aunt to remove the pictures where your feet are being seen.

[Asker]

I untagged myself already, but still a lot of my friends have already seen them, some of them also asked me about the wedding etc.
Yeah, I asked her if she could remove them, but she said those photos are not about me but about the wedding and since I'm not the only one on them and all the others want them to be posted and so on, she can't just remove them. She also said noone will pay attention to my feet anyway, so there's no reason to be ashamed.

[Opinion Owner]

Just remove the ones where you're feet are being seen I'm sure there are not many like that explain her how embarrassing this is for you shouldn't she understand?

[Asker]

I am in quite a lot of them unfortunately, since I was one of the bridesmaids. So she would have to remove all of them which she doesn't want to. I explained her that it's so embarrassing for me, but she was like "Oh sweetie I know, Amber told me about it. But believe me, noone will look at your feet. The pictures are about the wedding, not your feet. So when you see them, just think of all the fun we had. And please, it's just feet, so there is no reason to be ashamed"

[Opinion Owner]

Wow she's so annoying. Maybe ask your mother to kindly ask her this? Could be more effective than you asking...

[Asker]

Yes, I will try that. Although it even makes me uncomfortable talking about this to her and thus drawing more attention to my bare feet in the photos. It's silly, I know...

[Opinion Owner]

I completely understand. But isn't it better than having those photos available for everyone to see all the time?

[Asker]

Sorry, I missed your last reply. Yes, you are right. I tried to argue about it, but so far I wasn't very successful...:(

[Opinion Owner]

So sorry to hear that but I don't think you argued enough then. Or just secretly untag yourself nobody will notice, otherwise everyone will see those photos every time they click on your profile.

[Anonymous]

it is very weird. but bridezilla gets what bridezilla wants...

[Asker]

So you think I just have to do what she asks?

[Opinion Owner]

no, eff her

[LegendaryIcon]

contemporary dance, is essentially, barefoot. so, she probably just plans to do contemporary

[Asker]

I don't know, but I can't dance contemporary anyway. And we have to be barefoot not only for the dance, but for the whole wedding.

[LegendaryIcon]

cool. if that's what she wants. and you are her best girl, then do it. you can always back out

[Asker]

What do you mean, how could I back out?

[LegendaryIcon]

Tell her you no longer want to do it

[Asker]

You mean no longer be her bridesmaid? You really think I could do that? I think it would make her really sad and also angry with me...

[LegendaryIcon]

better than not doing what she asked

[Asker]

She is really expecting me to do this, unfortunately.
I don't think I can back out, my mom would also be very angry with me if I did. But at the same time it would feel so weird to be barefoot on the wedding... I'm not sure what to do.

[LegendaryIcon]

i would rather not do it at all, than not do something my friend wanted. ITS HER WEDDING, NOT YOURS

[Asker]

Yes, you are right of course. That's why I'm so unsure what to do. But I can't tell her I'm not going to be her bridesmaid.
So you say I don't have a choice then, but to be on her wedding with bare feet?

[Asker]

That's what she wrote to me when I asked her:
Hi and of course it‘s fine you are asking.
I always dreamt of marrying in my bare feet, because it’s going to be the happiest day of my life and being barefoot the whole day will make it perfect. It’s bare feet for you girls, too, because as my bridesmaids, of course you will have to share this moment with me and it will also look much nicer with all the girls in black pants and barefoot during the ceremony. There will be a professional photographer too and it would look out of place if some of you were wearing shoes or socks. You are also welcome to paint your toenails
So yes, you will definitely be barefoot and I’m sorry this makes you feel uncomfortable, but I can assure you it won’t be weird at all.
I’m soo much looking forward to this and I’m so happy to have you as my bridesmaid.
Hugs and kisses,
Amber

[LegendaryIcon]

You have two options. quit, or do the barefeet

THOSE ARE YOUR OPTIONS

[Asker]

Not really two options then :(
I can't quit, as I said before. So then I have no choice but to go barefoot on that wedding, right?

[LegendaryIcon]

you can quit

you're allowed to quit

[Asker]

No I can't. My whole family would be so angry with me. I told her that I'm gonna be her bridesmaid, and she probably won't find someone new in the remaining time.

[LegendaryIcon]

yes, you can

[Anonymous]

I find barefoot girls really cute and sexy so that's a great idea :D

[Asker]

Why do you care if girls wear shoes or not? What's sexy about bare feet anyway?

[Opinion Owner]

I just love how charming and vulnerable a girl looks with no shoes :D

[Asker]

Haha ok, I see. So I guess you would have loved to attend that wedding 😂

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah you should definitely invite me would love to see that :D

[Asker]

Too late now haha

[Opinion Owner]

:(( then you must send me the photos :D

[Jude_Wills]

Not big deal

[Asker]

For me it is a big deal somehow. I really feel uncomfortable being completely barefoot around other people. But so you think, I should just do as she asks?

[Jude_Wills]

Do you have ugly feet?

[Asker]

Haha what? No I haven't, I guess 😂

[Jude_Wills]

Then no issues 😂 😂
You can barefoot if that's make your cousin happy.

But why she want it barefoot?
Is it any fetish?

[Asker]

I don't think it's a fetish. This is what she just wrote:

Hi and of course it‘s fine you are asking.
I always dreamt of marrying in my bare feet, because it’s going to be the happiest day of my life and being barefoot the whole day will make it perfect. It’s bare feet for you girls, too, because as my bridesmaids, of course you will have to share this moment with me and it will also look much nicer with all the girls in black pants and barefoot during the ceremony. There will be a professional photographer too and it would look out of place if some of you were wearing shoes or socks. You are also welcome to paint your toenails
So yes, you will definitely be barefoot and I’m sorry this makes you feel uncomfortable, but I can assure you it won’t be weird at all.
I’m soo much looking forward to this and I’m so happy to have you as my bridesmaid.
Hugs and kisses,
Amber

[Asker]

Yeah, its still an issue for me. I feel really weird being barefoot around others.

[Jude_Wills]

Never heard about it..

But if you have beautiful feet then you can attend wedding barefoot lol and fulfilled her wish

[Jude_Wills]

Only if you feel comfortable otherwise you can wear heels

[Asker]

It's not about how my feet look. I just feel uncomfortable when people see them.
But so you think I have no choice but to be barefoot during the wedding?

[Jude_Wills]

Yeah you can do for your sister..
It not that tough

[Jude_Wills]

But beware from foot fetish guys 😂 😂

[Asker]

She's my cousin, not my sister. But my sister will be barefoot as well. She doesn't really care though.
What do you mean by "beware of foot fetish guys"?

[Jude_Wills]

I mean if you will be barefoot in wedding lots of guy stare your feet and like them

[Asker]

So you think people will stare at my feet?

She just wrote this: "Hi. Nope, you'll have to take your socks off, too. Bare feet will create a relaxed atmosphere during the wedding and actually I'd love to have everyone barefoot, but I guess that would be too much to ask, but at least my bridesmaids must have bare feet for sure :). So yeah, people will see your feet, but as I said you can paint your toenails and I'm sure nobody will take a close look at them.😂"

[Jude_Wills]

Hmm yes if you have beautiful feet..
Lots of guys like feet

[Asker]

I didn't know that haha
But that makes it kind of worse for me, if I have to expect some of the guys staring at my feet. I just hoped nobody would really care or maybe even not notice that I have bare feet. But so you think people will definitely notice my bare feet and take a look at them?

And do you think there is some way for me to avoid having bare feet on her wedding?

[Jude_Wills]

If you are not comfortable, you can tell your cousin you can't be barefoot

You can message me lol if you want, i also like feet and have foot fetish

[Asker]

Sorry, I don't want to talk about your foot fetish, I hope you understand.

Well, I told her that before, but then she texted me back what I just sent you above. So she says I definitely must have bare feet and can't wear socks.

[Jude_Wills]

Decision is your..
If you feel comfortable go barefoot otherwise wear some footwear

[Asker]

I don't feel comfortable going barefoot. But she said I can't wear footwear. So I guess as her bridesmaid I have no choice but to do what she asks, right?

[Jude_Wills]

Right