What to do in a sexless marriage?

Question

My wife is catholic, quite a few months ago she was told by her church that we must live as brother and sister because her previous divorce of many years ago was not recognized by the catholic church! So she is taking this as law and will not allow me to make love to her or even touch or see her without clothes. I'm at my wits end with this, any help here?

PositiveFlight · Accepted Answer

It seems as if the church should fix it then! That doesn’t make any sense. But then again, catholicism has always been very strict on sexual matters to an unhealthy level. From celibacy among clergy to viewing sex even in marriage as impure or a lesser form of holiness in my opinion actually is at odds with God. Sex is very much a godly act! The Old Testament is full of sexual relations dealing with the most holy and righteous people. Even polygamy aka plural marriage back in that era was more the rule over the exception. Interestingly enough, it was also catholicism and Constantine that shut down plural marriage from most of society and that’s why it's not understand today and rather mocked!

The church should make this right! A healthy and godly marriage should involve sex and intimacy. This is inhealthy and its evil from where I sit because it’s unrighteous dominion by the church to interfere with a married couple!

imran_ · Accepted Answer

In Islam we have a similar concept called Iddah or iddat. Which is a waiting period in Islamic law that a woman must observe under certain circumstances, such as the death of her husband or divorce. The purpose of the iddah is to ensure that a woman is not pregnant and to establish the paternity of any potential child. The length of the iddah period varies depending on the circumstances and can range from a few days to several months. It is a legal requirement in Islam and is observed by the woman by refraining from marrying another man during this waiting period.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yep, that's religion for ya. So stupid.

Boop's suggestion is not totally crazy. This is so ludicrous, what the church told you, might as well go apply your own loophole workaround and at least have some fun as if you're not married then. ? Might be an example of 'two wrongs don't make a right', but you can't reason with crazy, so how about 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em' in the crazy?

EmmaMary · Accepted Answer

Sadly that's all this fucked up religious BOLLOX for you.

Well the way I see it you have one of two choices... Either live with this and suffer... Or divorce her and move on... After all, life is far too short as it is.

Apologies if this seems so harsh and blunt... Hope you can appreciate this is entirely my own personal view and opinion.

Masterodd · Answer

Talk it out... as I have said in a prior post. No sex in a marriage is just a friendship...
If you needing sex, talk it out or file for a divorce.

"Intimacy in a marriage is absolutely critical," says Joshua Klapow, Ph. D., clinical psychologist, and creator of Mental Drive, a psychological well-being initiative on Instagram. "A marriage without intimacy, including sexual intimacy, is a marriage that is at risk for failing. But it's important to note that a marriage that's failing for other reasons will not be saved by sex."

Sour-rose · Answer

Dude... this... this is awful. I'm an asexual goddess myself but... bruh. Well the last thing you wanna do is go get it somewhere else but y'all need to come to a compromise... or drop this woman. Your time is valuable, and i don't believe you should be wasting it on a lady who is strictly religious. Those kind of people are a pain in the assss

strateguy632 · Answer

but if she can't divorce then your marriage was a "mistake based on wrong information" like if she lied she is single or rich etc. so you aren't really married. obviously she didn't trick you but same principle just separate or both leave catholic.

Riribichri · Answer

U are married. So just tell her it’s her duty. Given u satisfy the roles of a husband of protecting and providing.

Jersey2 · Answer

I’m Catholic. She should seek and annulment of her first marriage. If the priest says no, look for another priest or escalate to the bishop. I bet there are guides online to help identify what are solid grounds for annulment. My sister received one.

DextroShade · Answer

The fucking nerve of this bitch! If she won't put out, it's time for you to put her out! Tell her to fuck off and join a convent as you will no longer be supporting her in ANY way: no buying things for her, no attention, no affection, she is now an unwelcome guest. Talk to a divorce lawyer ASAP!

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Then they should annul your marriage. I'd tell her it's not going to be a sexless marriage, it'll just be sexless with you. I'll still be having sex since I wasn't consulted on this.

XXTruthfulOgrexx · Answer

Sorry mate but I would end that relationship. If she were that religious she wouldn't have remarried unless her previous relationship was annulled not divorced.

She is gaslighting you. Your her ATM and security blanket. Get out asap.

Miristheiss · Answer

Then if she isn't "divorced" then you two are not married. Move on to another woman.

Or you can just ignore that and have sex anyway. If your spouse is going to hold to that mandate then end the relationship and move on.

Anemone978 · Answer

Well at that point you might as well divorce her because at that point her belief is that you two are not married and won't change just because a stupid priest told her some bullshit xD

exitseven · Answer

Ask the priest how much it will cost to get the marriage annulled.

Adaeva · Answer

If you were a female, no problem. Just go out every Friday and Saturday night and get laid by a much hotter guy than your husband. As a man, that is not possible so divorce her.

collie22 · Answer

That's not proper interpretation of the scripture. Jesus forgives that sin when you guys repent. If the church is telling you that there messing up.

DaveJord · Answer

Sounds like some toxic bullshit to me, don't trust religious people they justify anything they do is most twisted of ways.

BCRanger10 · Answer

Why doesn't she just get her previous marriage annulled?

HelpfulWoman · Answer

you married her. you should have known what this was going to be like

Staximus · Answer

Tell her you are not brother and sister and if she doesn't act like a wife then you should get a divorce

Holo900 · Answer

Catholicism itself does not make sense to me

Surely · Answer

If you are not legally married in the eyes of the Catholic Church. Then you wouldn’t need a divorce. So then you would be able to date other women.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Tell your wife to tell the Catholic Church to go to hell.  It's beyond ridiculous what I just read.

Dargil · Answer

I think even in The Church, that deception is grounds for annulment.

AmeerX · Answer

Brother and sister can see each other naked. And screw this church with the stupid idea. He is your wife whether they like it or not

tfan1 · Answer

Take up masturbation and find another church

Unit1 · Answer

This is how cheating is born if counseling didn't help. Let yourself at it.

Twalli · Answer

I would tell her that she has to decide if she's married to you or not. If the divorce wasn't recgonize, neither is your marriage.

kaxeka56577 · Answer

Getting divorced, if there is no sex in your marriage means that you are a beta cuckold provider.

Anonymous · Answer

this is the only case in which i would support incest

Anonymous · Answer

Go marry someone else? If she doesn't recognize your marriage as valid then you can marry other women.

aceleon · Answer

Divorce is your right

Drumlin2001 · Answer

You can't do anything but leave.

jahaims · Answer

Just another reason to not join a cult

slatyb · Answer

D-I-V-O-R-C-E

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

Cheat.

Awantika03 · Answer

What the hell

What to do in a sexless marriage?

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