Why are people not interested in marriage and children nowadays?

Question

nightdrot · Accepted Answer

The reasons for that decline have complex sociological explanations.

People are getting married later in part because lifespans have grown. This allows young people to stay single longer, establish their careers and settle economically before starting families.

Marriage has lost its special status in society. Thus, for example, co-habitation has become socially acceptable and the law and the courts have followed suit by making many of the legal protections of marriage available to cohabiting couples.

In terms of the law the watershed moment was the advent in the early 1970s of "no-fault" divorce. Prior to that, serious legal and financial penalties accrued to individuals if they were deemed to have been the cause of a divorce - for adultery for example - and a marriage license was deemed a legally binding contract. With "no fault" divorce, marriage became the one legal contract that government would NOT enforce.

We shape the law and the law then shapes us, and as the marriage license became just an expensive piece of paper - although it still affords some important benefits, particularly in tax law and for SS - young people have come not to value it.

Further, at the risk of inflaming some highly inflammable people, gay marriage may have worsened this decline. Understandably the gay community wanted it both in its own right and as a signal of legal equality. It's broad and generally quick acceptance in light of the Supreme Court ruling suggests that the gay community got that.

However, by making marriage a political badge of honor and, as a cultural matter, by making it seem less like a covenant and more like a political transaction, gay marriage unintentionally further trivialized marriage at a societal level. By making marriage more common without solemnizing it, gay marriage may have made marriage overall a cultural shrug of the shoulders.

Throw in the relative decline of religious belief in an increasingly secularized culture - it is interesting that the marriages that tend to endure, statistically, are those where the couple has deep religious convictions. For these and other reasons you have a recipe for the decline of marriage, especially for the young who tend to be the first indicators of cultural change.

Put another way, in a cultural sense, youth are as much effect as cause. It simply, in the tumult of social change, has lost its value. The results of that, however, have not been necessarily good, but there it is.

Jojohero93 · Accepted Answer

Not everyone. But since this phenomenon has spread. I think this is a lot of betrayal. And also because most people have lost conviction. Each person must be convinced of his partner. This means that you are satisfied with it alone

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Because it's not the fairytale people think it is. A good marriage requires work, and people don't seem to want to have to work for anything these days, they seem to think they're entitled to whatever they want without any effort on their part. Life itself don't work that way, well neither does marriage.

dontgetafemalecanine · Answer

This is the life I am pursuing currently. My girlfriend agrees to it too. (sorry we about mid 20s. We find that's too early to confirm marriage at this point)

But Children are not in the picture of our lives, there really isn't a point of having one. I can neglect to all the negative and positive aspects of having a child or children. As a couple, we aim to satisfy ourselves as a priority (well we worked hard and each in decent financial position). I don't want my girlfriend to be worried, waken up middle of the night every day for the first 3 years, definitely not relay our responsibility to someone else (nor families; they have their own life). I am very against to have my parents or her parents pressure her or me to have children to pass on generations etc. That's our live to decide so back off.

As independent individuals, we need our private times where I can game, reading for instance, and she can do hobbies and hang out with friends. Having a child or children is a lot of compromise and sacrifice. Education and ensuring your child doesn't become badly behaving person in the future is so much to ask for with the growing myth of what the millennial should do and should act. There could be a million reasons why I would and would not. Above is simply listing a few key reasons why we both wouldn't.

Worse come to worst, test tube babies or adoption seem fine to us.

Anonymous · Answer

Because MGTOW are giving loser guys a rational to why they are smart instead of losers. If you fear marriage then don't get a government marriage... But these idiots cannot think for themselves. They are cowards and many of them a porn addicts.

If you want marriage to work then go in with a coherent plan you idiots. But no one ever does that. No one sits down and writes out a joint vision and works toward it everyday and I do mean everyday in a state of habitual harmony. That's not what normal people do. Normal people are mediocre in every thing that they do... But you don't HAVE to get a government marriage... You don't HAVE to have children... You can just get a girl that wants to be your lifelong partner and never have kids. That is possible. And I don't see what is so wrong with that unless you want to just have sex with many girls or just watch porn all day. And if so I'll show you the ward in the hospital for people like that. And they will show you the souvenirs they got for living that life style.

Okay I did a lot of attacking; I see that. My point is that the reasons people give show that they don't spend much time looking for a solution because I just named many in here. Now children is something I can understand. I can also understand a government marriage but when you take away the government part you don't have an outside excuse anymore. Now you are only saying I won't get married because I know I am trash and cannot make it work. Don't blame women. Don't blame men. I know very little about government marriage but you don't need one to be in love and I think people seem to have forgotten that. And if you're scared of that... What does that say about you? because we all know everyone wants love in some state.
@brainsbeforebeauty I agree
@snakeboop but I also agree with you, from a general perspective.

Anonymous · Answer

Because a variety of reasons combined:

1. People are egocentrical and individualistic. They lack family values and everything is about them.

2. People are immature and don’t really ”grow up” anymore. They want to spend their lives partying, playing video games, back packing, sleeping and just bumming around indefinitely. Even well into adulthood, their whole lives really.

3. They can’t afford it. The salary you must make today to be able to have and afford what previous generations could do on 1 average salary is ridiculous.

4. People are commitmentphobes and don’t trust other people (rightfully so). People want to sleep around, ”have fun” and are terrified to even put labels on a relationship. Lots of people are cheating and most relationships end so if you are one of those who would like something real and stable forget it, you’ll only get hurt, and if you still get married or have kids with someone then you can expect divorce and single parenthood (with possible custody battles, kids every other week, step parents and what not) is heading your way.

Seinna · Answer

They'd have to be willing to give up some of their time and money for another person and they're just not. Call it selfishness if you want.

Also, people mature very late nowadays. Remember how hundreds of years ago people married and had children as teenagers? The maturity level typical for 18 year olds is now more commonly found in 30 year olds. In other words, people stay children for a lot longer than in the past so of course they're not interested in having any more. Raising a child is difficult so they get a cat or a dog, an easier alternative that was traditionally more of a child's companion.

Then there's people who want to have marriage and children but are finding it difficult to meet a likeminded partner or cannot afford to settle until they're in their 30s.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

Lol mostly because one “wrong” move or perceived wrong move by the female can set a man back for a couple decades. No one has time for that. And kids ensure that the woman is set for pretty much 18 years. We don’t have time to fund a woman for that long. And before y’all say, oh no, that money goes to the children… 😂😂😂😂 yah sure. Pretty much every woman I know that has received child support has done more for herself with the money then she put into her child. I’ve known instances when the children have gone to school hungry and this woman is out getting hair and nails done.. so yeah, to answer your question… that’s it in a nutshell.

Novacane · Answer

Because we have come to realize that it’s not beneficial for anyone, having kids sounds more like a chore, and marriage especially in the states doesn’t benefit men at all and designed to benefit women more, so men don’t want to take those chances, women are usually the ones that want marriage, if you let men decided most wouldn’t get married

Justerino · Answer

Honestly see a lot of people getting married and having kids, but it is mostly people who are upper middle class. Since Covid, salaries have actually gone way up in my city for “good” jobs, but now we got 100s of homeless drug addicts all
over downtown and in spots by the freeway all over the city.

Anonymous · Answer

Because women are horrible to men. Modern feminist women are unappealing to men. They're sluts, they cheat, they are entitled, they are lacking feminine qualities. Also, marriage literally has no benefits for men, just downsides. Women initiate 70% of divorce and almost always get full custody and alimony. Men have to be insane to invest in a relationship nowadays.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Because of feminism, lack of morals, values and lack of faith in god...

Also because a girl doesn't care anymore to stay a virgin until marriage...

Financial reasons and because the youth doesn't really understand what a true marriage is!

Tdieseler · Answer

The notion of marriage has been completely destroyed. More and more men are afraid to initiate cuz more and more women initiate divorces and having children are looked at at as a burden but in most cases, a money making scheme.

KatieB713 · Answer

I'm sure there were people before that weren't interested, however there was a culture where you had to get married and have children. There isn't an expectation anymore

Berethor · Answer

Feminism.

Anonymous · Answer

From a man's perspective marriage is more costly and risky but with far fewer benefits now than in the past. And when it comes to children men have responsibilities without rights. So it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that fewer and fewer men are interested in getting married and having kids these days.

pixie215 · Answer

because it takes work and dedication and most instead of working on problems just jump to a new partner. with the rise of social media its made it all so easy to move on, hook up etc, its pretty sad

DaveToo · Answer

In this "ME" society, the young folks want to make a life for themselves, rather than get tied into the family situation. Many have had poor examples of husbands and wives divorcing, sometimes amicably, sometimes not.

SnakeBoop · Answer

because marriage is an outdated concept, and no reason to have kids really.

Jasooty · Answer

I’ve heard a few people say it’s because they want to limit their impact on climate change  Less humans = Less carbon emissions

lovedejj_xo · Answer

Some are some aren’t ….. I do want to be married. I’m on the fence about children I always say I don’t want them but then I change my mind for like 10 seconds especially now that I work with them. But it goes back and forth.

Nagahime · Answer

If you had to deal with my 10 year old brother and saw how my parents act, you probably wouldn't wanna get married or have kids either.

Pyrofox · Answer

Cause most women aren't wife material and are flakier than a dried out piece of overcooked fish.

Anonymous · Answer

Ask yourself what the average body count of a woman is in today's culture, and then ask yourself why a man would commit, dedicate, provide and protect...

talka20 · Answer

They tryna make thing "easy n simple"... n not tryna spend money over "piece of paper"... and then many of em be regretting as they grow

Cubus · Answer

People nowadays are spoiled and only see child as a burden. Heh, I wonder who would work for their pensions in next years :D

whirled_up_girl · Answer

If would have met the guy when younger I would have considered it.

Aimée__LJ · Answer

Because it's expensive to just live for myself let alone trying to pay for other people

MasonAlucardthethird · Answer

It doesn’t seem like it brings happiness. Also, I think unlike before, the nuclear family is no longer treated in the media as the goal of life

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Lots of people didn’t grow up around married parents so they are not seeing the need for marriage

Dchrls78104 · Answer

For many it's not out of malice or hate; it's just that they don't want to be used and thrown away.

michael1469 · Answer

Why would we want to loose half our stuff... let alone welfare of kids who only eat and pooped without any appreciation...

Hulk30 · Answer

not bein interested in legalized marriage makes ya wise now bein interested in children makes ya cautious

Rohaan2020 · Answer

bcz people these days want to spend their life their own way without any restrictions or adjustments... they wanna stay free

Joshua0213 · Answer

Because the nuclear family was dismantled over the last 20 years

EnglishEuropean · Answer

Divorce, custody hearings, red pill, MGTOW. A pattern is beginning to take shape.

EaterPeter · Answer

It's a loose loose proposition for guys. We need lots of money too. 💰

htmndg183 · Answer

Many people are but there are factors which prevent them from having them such as finances.

Anonymous · Answer

Worlds ending anyway might as well be young, free and single for the last bit

Yellovv · Answer

They don't want to take responsibilty and spend extra money for that...

Anonymous · Answer

society has lied to them and told them KIDS ARE BAD  and that you should focus on a career  good luck with that

Anonymous · Answer

I guess they see the expense and headaches involved from older generations

Citizenkirk · Answer

People got options these days.

skyeee_ · Answer

too much responsibility

Yuumyumeko · Answer

because they are busy?

Waldoe · Answer

it's a lifetime commitment, people are selfish

Tstrbrainer · Answer

Too much legal trouble to start with

Anonymous · Answer

Money. More specifically the lack thereof.

MrSmithee · Answer

jewish subversion of Europan nations

DryGermanGuy · Answer

Says who…? 🤔

jimmy2 · Answer

Its all about daddy not in the home

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Individuality

shortster · Answer

I still am.

Why are people not interested in marriage and children nowadays?

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How come young people no longer desire marriage and children as much as people did in the old days?

Why are people not interested in marriage and children nowadays?

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How come young people no longer desire marriage and children as much as people did in the old days?

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