Firstly, we don't really know much of the guy in particular so we can only judge from our own view or steroetypes. So take comments with scoops of salt.
Here are my thoughts:
- Generally, men are more practical thinking. So it could be that for him the wedding is not so exciting in itself as it has more to do with status and gestures.
For him it might be that the wedding is just a symbol that cements a commitment (to you, himself and maybe also to a God) and that the cermony itself is just an excuse to have a grand party.
- Depending on what culture you live in and how you relationship is set up it might also be an economic expense that he is supposed to handle, in such a case he might not be thinking much of how he want the wedding to be grand and unique but more on how much he will have to put out (he's being practical). So in a sense he might not want to interfere in your excitment as he might be stuck in a serious mood.
- Maybe he's simply not the type to have a lot of ideas around imagining how the wedding should be. He might not be into that type of designing. He leaves it to you to get your way.
- He might be nervous just thinking about it. Being on stage like that, the attention, the expectations.
- Then there might also be some cold feet. It's only natural to wonder and worry.
Another thing to keep in perspective is. Being excited and being nervous is actually the same thing, difference is whether he tend to worry or not. The difference is in if he reacts to the giddy feeling with positivity or negativity, that determens if it's nervousness or excitment - It's all in the mind.
He sounds like he has my mind on this. I let my wife do whatever she wanted. I couldn’t care less if there’s flowers or not. Where the cake is placed. Who sits where. What the food will be. That type of stuff is agonizing to me to figure out and plan out. I also get no joy out of any of it. So, whatever made her happy with wedding stuff made me happy. Frankly I got no aptitude in this area. I got no business being involved at all. I know that. I can’t match napkins to table cloths or pick out appropriate floral print. This is one thing I feel women generally excel over men at. So I know my role in this. Dish out the cash. Let her make it how she wants. Let her have her fun. My fun comes when the wedding is over and the ceremony stuff is done, which I hate and it’s time to enjoy cocktails and socialize and dance and party a little. You let me plan something like that and I’m all: “dinner…. idk……pizza delivery? No? How about water buffalo steaks? Plus I think you gals love planning that type of thing. So if he’s like me he’s content to let you have your fun.
To me a wearing suit and her in a respectable dress with the minister in the backyard is ample. I don’t care about pomp and pageantry. I hate being in formal ceremonies. I was excited to get married. I don’t care about the rest. All I cared is no mom/groom dance. I wasn’t dancing with my mom period. It’s weird.
My guy tells me he doesn't know what's sadder, weddings or funerals. lol
Your guy will love being married to you, but that doesn't mean he will like the ceremonial process. He will be just thinking about the buffalo wings and beer at the reception, and of course, your honeymoon.
Why the honeymoon?
@anon
Yes. Exactly. Hate the ceremonial process. I approach this like everything. From a utilitarian stance. What do we need to be married? You me and a wedding license. Awesome. This should be done in 15 min and cost about $35 and I’ll be back in the garage where I belong. She likes the process of it all. The ebb and flow of the day. Perhaps the hardest part was pretending I’m enjoying myself so I didn’t ruin it for her.
@Mrs_Incredible
Being in a bikini on the beach in Florida.
@Exterminatore
You totally get it. I love fishing with my man, but he has to put the worm on he hook. lol
That's a man's job. I feel so bad for the worm. What if in your next life you were a worm? Wouldn't that suck shit? lol
I was talking to a nice fella on here, and he was worried about being short. I just told him to find a girl who was one inch shorter. He thought that was bad, because tall girls should just like him. I learned a long time ago, that I would much rather NOT be that salmon swimming upstream. The guy was 5' 5" so told him to get a slightly shorter girl. That was not the answer he wanted. He will always be the salmon swimming upstream and beating his head against rocks. Why not just be the guy waking up in the morning and spooning the love of your life?
I put the worms on for my gal too.
Reincarnation as a worm? That’s a solid pass. Lol
In regards to the hight challenged guy, facts of life right. No gal wants a guy who’s shorter. Either learn to adapt and overcome or cry in the corner I suppose. I think your solution was wise. Find a shorter girl. That’s his best shot. He just wants better than what his looks can get him. Gotta work with what you got.
@Exterminatore
Imagine this girl. 
How could that guy not want her? For fuck's sake. He really needs to move on. I am losing interest in giving advice on this site, because no one wants it. To me we just come here to pass the time.
Is she a midget? Nothing for nothing she’s kinda cute. If I were single and 5’ 5” I’d be all over that cause you ain’t gonna do no better looks wise.
The funny thing when it comes to marriage is no one can do better usually. Most everyone is with already with the best they can do. I say learn to enjoy and appreciate what you have.
It’s like I said. You see this with both genders. People who think they should have access to better dating options when in fact they shouldn’t. Can’t be a 5/10 and expect to date a 10/10. That’s just not the way things work.
Yeah. I get on here to debate various subjects mainly. I’ll give advice when asked.
@Exterminatore
That's why online dating doesn't work.
I met my wife doing online dating. I think it really all depends on the site.
@Exterminatore
Of course it's possible and it happens. I just have a negative view of it
I would hope when I do eventually meet a guy and a few years after we've been together we decide to get married that he would be excited and eager. Personally, if my future husband is not ecstatic and excited with me then he isn't the one lol.
He can be excited with you, just doesn't care that much for the wedding ceremony itself, which is, as we all know, for the bride... the groom is just along for the ride that day
Opinion
44Opinion
The reasons men often aren't excited for marriage are these:
1. He is taking a huge risk unless she signs a prenuptial agreement first, though she will likely get angry with him if he suggests it so if she wants to treat him well she should offer it up front.
2. He often is the one paying for it so it just means he will have to work that much harder for more years to pay off a one day event.
3. He is expected to get her a ridiculously expensive ring which is a huge waste of money. (For example, one of my friends had to get his wife a $6,000 ring when he got married and she got him an $80 ring)
4. Nobody usually cares what the man wants for the wedding (location, which guests are invited, decorations, etc.) and if they ask his opinion they go with something else instead.
Wedding Day is for the bride. The groom is just part of the festivities. He's being very smart to leave it up tp you, the bride.
I think also there's a difference between how men and women view weddings. Women view a wedding as a big event to celebrate the end of her being single, while men view it as a beginning of a long-term relationship, which is more important than the wedding itself.
Weddings are stressful. I honestly couldnt wait till it was over. The people, families, schedules, photographer times, food, wife wanting eveything to be magical and perfect... hell its a reason not to get divorced cuz i would not wanna do it again...
Really? I had a blast in mine.
@Mobius
YES! It’s Hell isn’t it? I think most men find such things maddening. I remember thinking: “I’m getting married why does this whole affair seem like work?” It felt like I was on duty and at a job or something all day. Gotta be here. Gotta be there. All for stuff I don’t even like necessarily…. she’s lucky I showed up at all and didn’t just sign the marriage license and go back home lol.
Both of you MUST…PLEASE… read together Ephesians 5. Don’t cheat as you both need to feel the pressures of Marriage in real time together. DO IT TOGETHER AT SAME TIME.
It will make your life more difficult initially in that it should heighten stress levels. LONGTERM that chapter and 1 Peter saves marriages. Marriage and Couple Psychology/Counseling emerged from Ephesians 5.
I've never been married, but if I were engaged I would be more than excited to get married. That being said, I'm in the camp that it is her big day. Guys don't dream about their marriage and how it goes down. That's all you. We want you to plan out that big day you've been dreaming about. We're just happy to tie the knot.
I imagine it would be exciting right up until the planning phase because the woman's going to get really excited and I bet that's when it's going to sink in that you're stuck with this chick for the rest of your life.
Probably start seeing everything a little differently. I'm sure it's a little jarring.
No. It’s not fun, it’s all stress and costs a lot of money. You’ve been planning this since you were 5…. We just decided we can handle it yesterday.
Men have ran from commitment our whole life, while you’ve been looking for it. The wedding party is fun… all the other customs aren’t.
The wedding is for the bride, he’s doing it to make you happy, he’s asked you to marry him because you’re the only person that’s ever made it not terrifying and actually make sense.
Don’t try to project your excitement. If you want him to have an opinion narrow what you want down to 2 options and ask his opinion of this or that.
Of course they get excited but he’s a guy naturally he’s not too interested with the wedding planning and wants to make you happy. It’s more of a girly thing.
They often are excited, but not to the same extents as a woman. The whole world is abiding to woman's dreams about marriage, all the way from they was a girl. Men never had that, so of course they won't get the same amount of excitement from it.
The average man hell no. Biggest mistake of his life, he knows it and for some reason he's doing it anyways. Typically he's not had sex with you yet and he's excited to marry his virgin bride. But none of you women do that these days and instead you only get weak simps you can shame into marriage who are not excited about it for husbands.
Weddings aren’t about the men. It’s always been shot the women. It’s a protection for women after all. Which is why I’m never getting married
the action is exciting, but the planning and ballache of that generally isn't.
I've never been married, but I can say that it's probably WAY more exciting for women because it's generally ALL about them, even though you're a couple lol. The entire focus is on the bride. The groom just has to be there lol.
I'd say they are more nervous about not making a fool of themselves in front of the extended family >.<
We don't give a shit tbh, it's really your deal. Doesn't mean we aren't happy about it, just not our thing.
Most of us would be fine in the courthouse honestly.. Weddings are about you.
On top of that getting married is a huge risk and very stressful. I think I'd have a similar response
Honestly no. He certainly loves you and is looking forward to living his life for you.
But this wedding is a chore that we have to go through for you chicks. So you can’t force us to go and ask us to be excited about it.
I was pretty excited about going on the honeymoon. It was amazing. I still think about it.
hell yeah, it’s their biggest moment in their lives besides the birth of their kids
Generally no
I have to be slightly rarer because a little piece of me actually planned enough to give a shit despite it looking increasing unlikely to ever happen at all
Yes! In fact I was so excited (being a virgin) on our wedding night, I was premie and exploded and blew my hot cum all over her before even entering. SO Embarrassing.
Does a condemned man get excited when his execution date is coming up?
Because we don't really care generally and just want to get it over with
Yeah he probably doesn't even know the difference I know I don't
It’s a profitable industry and I don’t like being a sucker
Not generally. Getting married is more about the woman than the man.
He probably legitimately doesn’t care about the details and just wants it to be perfect for you. Unless there’s other red flags that he isn’t ready for marriage, I wouldn’t worry too much.
I would be excited a f! I don't know what his problem is. Maybe he's not really into the idea of marriage.
The wait and anticipation is always more exciting than the actual event. That is not true only for a wedding.
He truly doesn't give a fuck, or he's been down that road before. You are not telling of details.
no, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.
Typical guy response and bravado. Trust me, he asked YOU to marry HIM!! Not the other way around. He's excited!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Honestly he needs help. he needs to be told to withdraw and not marry you. a man marrying a woman these days is no different than a man getting his head chopped off
I’d be over the moon!
(Do people still say that? lol)
Of course we do! We love our wives and want to spend the rest of our lives with them.
The government is against him when it comes to marriage. He is vulnurable.
I like the idea of being married, but I can see not being fussed about the wedding. It’s just a one off thing.
Nope, we just start digging our 9 ft graves with spoons.
The ceremony isn't a huge concern for us. It's the a t, bot not anything else
Congratulations and he say that to let you know he wants you to be happy
No.
We mostly only get married because you women want to get married. We are just in it for you.
Married guy here. I had the time of my life in my weeding and I was excited for it.
@This_Is_My_Opinion8 Alright. You are the exception to the rule.
Doubt that. All the married guys I know where super excited for their wedding.
@This_Is_My_Opinion8 well ok. Some coworkers i know got married too. But it hasn't been more than 1-2 years since they married. Where i live the divorce rates are as high as 60-80% and that's not in the USA.
Yes divorce rate was always around 50% and COVID only made it worse.
I was as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs lol yea I was very excited!!!
The wedding is mostly for the woman anyways.
Wouldn't that make him your fiance?
Maybe I’ll be...
have set to find out
I like marriage to comiting suicide
i'm sure some do
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