Depends how fat she got. If she gained like 20 lbs then I wouldn't have an issue with it. If she gained like a 100lbs then I would find it hard to find her attractive physically. I wouldn't leave her as I would express to her how I find it hard to be attracted to her and I would hope she would try to lose some of the weight. That goes both ways as well, Ill try to keep in shape so my partner continues to find me attractive.
Funny story, a few years ago I was dreaming and had a boner. She waited until I woke up to see who I was dreaming about. I told her she'd gained weight and was over 300 lbs and I still wanted to have sex. She was disgusted and touched at the same time. And she went on a diet that week. 🤷
I obv don’t have a wife lol but no I wouldn’t leave my husband if he gained weight. If he doesn’t like the way he is I will help him lose it but if he likes a little extra weight on him idc bc he’s still the same guy I fell for.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
1 y
I voted Stay, but I draw the line at fat folds (unless she is/was pregnant). A guy marries a woman for who she is at the time; intentionally undermining this is a violation of trust, and maybe even consent.
Just because you are married doesn't give you the right to let yourself go. This certainly applies to guys.
I feel its your responsibility to try to remain good looking even in a secure relationship. But I wouldn't leave though I would probably tactfully try and help her manage weight ig. Go on walks with her more often, do more sports, buy less junk food if I'm shopping, cook healthier meals, bring her with me to a gym.
Id give her a chance to lose it, id help her lose it, if she refused to lose it that is a personality defect and abusive to both herself and the husband. Yes id leave someone like that. Would you leave if i wanted to chop both my arms off and then make you deal with my health consequences by having to wipe my ass? Thats no different at all.
There is difference between those things and you know it 😂 weight gain happens naturally as people age and their metabolism slows down. Cutting off arms is not natural
"weight gain happens naturally as people age and their metabolism slows down" i mean thats just not true and its been scientifically proven as inaccurate. Anyone of any age can reasonably choose a weight and body composition and then take actions to achieve it. Just people dont want to. So that makes them either uneducated because they didn't know it, lazy because they dont want to put in the effort, no self control can't stick to a plan or any kind of diet, or just dont care about their health, or maybe they love being fat ie crazy. What other options are there?
Nah the body slows down with age and makes it harder to lose weight especially in the 40-60 age range. After that they start hitting that old person skinny. It's not lazy if that's what happening to someone's body naturally
Thats what happens naturally if you dont exercise or eat healthy at any age. My grandpa was a casual athlete and ate perfect diet almost and was in functional shape and not fat until the day he died. I also personally know a few body builders in their 60s. Somehow they are able to choose the body they want and have it. Its because its not magic or luck, its pure science.
But even if we gave you what you said as fact whats the excuse for a 20 or 30 or even 40 something obese wife? Thats pure choice.
@shaysh87 well like if she got in an accident and lost a leg, not if he just loses his job. But absolutely if he's not pounding the beat every day doing something. If he's not he's willfully lazy or crazy or something and thats whats unacceptable.
@shaysh87 i said sure if its because he's lazy. Im not leaving a fat woman because the fat, its because she's lazy. So i mean you do you but id fully expect a woman to leave me if i was jobless and sat on the couch lazy about it.
@Apple1996 "weight gain happens naturally as people age and their metabolism slows down." That doesn't mean wieght cannot be lost by watching one's diet first and foremost and exercise. Using age as an excuse to be a lazy bum is not valid. Here in the Netherlands, you will find our eldery being in pretty good shape because even at their old age they still move around by walking or using a BICYCLE. Also, Dutch food isn't the type of food that gets one overweight quickly. Sounds like you're just reaching for straws trying to justify being fat.
@shaysh87 not really. Id hate myself if i was that fucking lazy. Never been without income. Never not had a job more than like a day. Now i dont work anymore. So really its my least concern. Also not fat i always work out play sports and eat healthy. So my biggest issue is i have little tolerance for some lazy bum woman enjoying all my hard work and just thinks she's going to be a lard ass. Disgusting. She gets my money and my washboard abs she better be on point.
Your relationship was never about love anyways. Nothing separates true love. You wouldn't understand cuz you never experienced it and probably never will
@bamesjond0069 When someone is sugarcoating laziness and guilt tripping people who prefer a lazy partner, then that is a give away that person is lazy themselves. I've never met a single person who is serious about their health and shape sugarcoat a lazy lifestyle
Because when you fall in love with someone's character and personality, they will still appeal to you regardless of whatever way they look. This is the power of love which you obviously don't understand.
@shaysh87 "Because when you fall in love with someone's character and personality, they will still appeal to you regardless of whatever way they look."
You just dont get it. Its not about how they look. Its their character and personality that is the most disgusting. Lazy is what disgusts me the most. I could put up with a fat woman due to pregnancy or injury but after that only a lazy person would stay fat and i find lazy people to be disgusting bad people. Its immoral to be lazy and i dont like to hang around lazy people lest they influence me to be lazier.
Like i tell my girlfriend, i dont care about her weight on the scale which is fine by the way, but even though she's thin she upsets me sometimes skipping out on gym and sports and i do not find it attractive at all. She also would have a terrible diet if i didn't constantly keep on her... but she's learning and improving so im ok with continuing to help her. But if she just never exercised and ate candy all day even if thin id probably break up with her eventually too over her lazy uncaring attitude about her own health.
fat does not mean lazy. There are plenty of mothers who gain 30 pounds after birthing 3 children over the span of 5 years, and working herself 16 hours a day at her full time job and coming home to cook dinner, do housework, laundry, help her husband pay the bills, teach homework. Its very common for a woman to gain weight after she becomes a mother and trust me, she WORKS HARD to raise her kids and pay the bills.
where did you get the impression that all fat people are lazy? they aren't.
people are supposed to get fatter as they get older. their metabolism slows down. its not something shocking or unnatural or uncommon. does this mean all older people are lazy? NO.
@shaysh87 i wouldn't be interested in a woman who works a job like that. I expect her to spend time and effort on her health. there's no excuses. Its part of being an adult. And yes most older fat people are lazy or have no self control or dont care if they are fat. Fact. Otherwise they wouldn't be fat. No matter the reason its a personality defect. They have something wrong with their personality. And thats not something i care to deal with as i am not lazy and i have self control and i do care about my health. So i wouldn't be a good fit for someone who just goes "welp guess ill get diabetes eventually". No thanks.
@bamesjond0069 Most guys can't afford to sufficiently provide for a housewife and 3 kids. Thats why so many wives in the US have jobs.
so your wife gave birth to 3 children, now she is killing herself at home caring for a newborn that never stops crying all day, doing all the housework, does your laundry, cooks your lunch boxes, strugglin to breast feed all day, cooking all the meals. She barely ever sleeps cuz the baby keeps crying. The other 2 kids is a shit load of work.
now you're leaving her because she gained weight? how is she lazy? she has given you 3 kids, barely ever sleep due to all the work, makes all your lunch so you don't have to make it yourself, does all your housework so you don't have to do it, does your laundry so you don't have to do it.
how is she lazy?
you're not even cleaning up after yourself or making your own food. you are the lazy one, not her.
@shaysh87 umm well im not most men so i can't comment on that. Any girl I've ever been with had no job becaused thats how i was raised. That women who work are low class since they couldnt figure how to get out of poverty or immoral because they are materialistic since women ought not work out of the home. So ofc she has plenty of time to work out. But eating healthy is 80% of looking good. You dont HAVE to exercise to at least not be a fatty. So i really dont see how anyone couldn't get in shape. I only work out like 3 hours a week often. Its not much time at all. Does she have time to watch tv? I mean most fat women seem to watch lots of tv. Lol
moms with 3 kids , working full time jobs, doing all the housework and cooking meals for their husbands usually do not have the time to exercise. Weight gain, especially after multiple children, is normal and natural amongst women. Its not because she eats junk food. PREGNANCY CAUSES WEIGHT GAIN.
if you don't want her to gain weight, don't have kids with her.
Unless if you're willing to hire her a nanny so she can stop taking care of the kids so much so she can go exercise.
@shaysh87 pregnancy weight gain is for the weight of the child and fluids. The mom doesn't actually have to gain any weight. One only needs to increase diet about the amount of 1 banana a day to provide for the child.
@shaysh87 you're just trying to get a rise out of me. Lmao. And no pregnant woman should be "eating for two" its just nonsense. Eat a freaking apple extra. Not two burgers or 6 slices of pizza or a tub of ice cream. Disgusting.
The moms dont need to gain any weight as in fat. The weight they gain should and could be almost entirely fluids and the baby. Upon pregnancy when the baby is out and the fluids are released after a short time like a month, they should be back to about their original weight before pregnancy.
Is it normal to gain a lot of weight? Yes. But thats a hell of a low bar. Its also normal for men to only make minimum wage. Do you think that normal is ok or is that sad to have as the minimum requirements for a man? Sorry but thats sad asf in both instances. Its not even the fact someone doesn't make a lot or someones overweight, whats sad is their personality thats ok with that. I like to be excellent and ill always try to be excellent. Probably why im well off and have an athlete physique. Also got 4.0 in college... i just always try to be the best. It annoys the shit out of me when someone is like "i dont care if im average or below average oh well" that just completely disgusts me like how could someone be ok losing the game of life? Smh.
I wouldn't leave just because of weight gain that would be wrong to do.
My main worry would actually be for her health as if I'm married to someone I love I'd want them to be healthy so we can spend more of our lives together.
I'd have a wife that cares about her body/health as much as I do to not let herself get obese. So this question would never come up anyways. Choose your partner wisely. I'll never be with an unhealthy overweight woman. There would be no attraction anymore if she got huge. I wouldn't leave her, I just wouldn't be attracted to her anymore.
If she had a legit medical condition or was paralyzed in an accident etc? Gotta make the best of the situation and be loyal.
If she got fat by being lazy/eating terribly and was unwilling to exercise and eat healthy? Either she would need to agree I can go date other women or a divorce, yes.
When we marry someone, it's supposed to be that person that we would be with even if they got parallelized from the neck down. I don't care if she got her face totally burned, if she lost a limb, if she got blind, or much easier to deal with, got fat. She will always be my wife, the woman I love.
We both had an agreement before we got married over 14 years ago that if the other got "fat", above a certain weight then it was grounds for divorce. She is the heaviest she has ever been in her life at 154lbs. The 175lbs mark is the number for her.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
141Opinion
Depends how fat she got. If she gained like 20 lbs then I wouldn't have an issue with it. If she gained like a 100lbs then I would find it hard to find her attractive physically. I wouldn't leave her as I would express to her how I find it hard to be attracted to her and I would hope she would try to lose some of the weight. That goes both ways as well, Ill try to keep in shape so my partner continues to find me attractive.
Never!
And she wouldn't anyway because she's a busy women with lots of things to do.
Funny story, a few years ago I was dreaming and had a boner. She waited until I woke up to see who I was dreaming about. I told her she'd gained weight and was over 300 lbs and I still wanted to have sex.
She was disgusted and touched at the same time. And she went on a diet that week.
🤷
Oh no I'd go on a diet after hearing that too
I still wanted her. I thought that was the most important point.
Women are weird...🙄
My wife is fat, and she knows it
Neither of us look the same after 30 years together.
If you bitch about your partners weight and leave them. That's not love
That's using them
I obv don’t have a wife lol but no I wouldn’t leave my husband if he gained weight. If he doesn’t like the way he is I will help him lose it but if he likes a little extra weight on him idc bc he’s still the same guy I fell for.
I voted Stay, but I draw the line at fat folds (unless she is/was pregnant). A guy marries a woman for who she is at the time; intentionally undermining this is a violation of trust, and maybe even consent.
Just because you are married doesn't give you the right to let yourself go. This certainly applies to guys.
Some skinny people even have fat folds tho
Yeah, but im talking about when someone gets so fat it folds and sags.
Being plump is not being fat. A healthy amount of fat is attractive in women, but obesity is not.
I feel its your responsibility to try to remain good looking even in a secure relationship. But I wouldn't leave though I would probably tactfully try and help her manage weight ig. Go on walks with her more often, do more sports, buy less junk food if I'm shopping, cook healthier meals, bring her with me to a gym.
Id give her a chance to lose it, id help her lose it, if she refused to lose it that is a personality defect and abusive to both herself and the husband. Yes id leave someone like that. Would you leave if i wanted to chop both my arms off and then make you deal with my health consequences by having to wipe my ass? Thats no different at all.
There is difference between those things and you know it 😂 weight gain happens naturally as people age and their metabolism slows down. Cutting off arms is not natural
"weight gain happens naturally as people age and their metabolism slows down" i mean thats just not true and its been scientifically proven as inaccurate. Anyone of any age can reasonably choose a weight and body composition and then take actions to achieve it. Just people dont want to. So that makes them either uneducated because they didn't know it, lazy because they dont want to put in the effort, no self control can't stick to a plan or any kind of diet, or just dont care about their health, or maybe they love being fat ie crazy. What other options are there?
Nah the body slows down with age and makes it harder to lose weight especially in the 40-60 age range. After that they start hitting that old person skinny. It's not lazy if that's what happening to someone's body naturally
Thats what happens naturally if you dont exercise or eat healthy at any age. My grandpa was a casual athlete and ate perfect diet almost and was in functional shape and not fat until the day he died. I also personally know a few body builders in their 60s. Somehow they are able to choose the body they want and have it. Its because its not magic or luck, its pure science.
But even if we gave you what you said as fact whats the excuse for a 20 or 30 or even 40 something obese wife? Thats pure choice.
@bamesjond0069
do you think its ok for women to leave their husbands once he loses his money?
@shaysh87 well like if she got in an accident and lost a leg, not if he just loses his job. But absolutely if he's not pounding the beat every day doing something. If he's not he's willfully lazy or crazy or something and thats whats unacceptable.
@bamesjond0069
why should I not have the right to leave my husband when he loses his money? if he would leave me if I gained weight?
@shaysh87 i said sure if its because he's lazy. Im not leaving a fat woman because the fat, its because she's lazy. So i mean you do you but id fully expect a woman to leave me if i was jobless and sat on the couch lazy about it.
@bamesjond0069
wouldn't life be a lot better if your woman would stay with you even if you were flat broke? cuz she can't live without you?
@Apple1996 "weight gain happens naturally as people age and their metabolism slows down."
That doesn't mean wieght cannot be lost by watching one's diet first and foremost and exercise. Using age as an excuse to be a lazy bum is not valid. Here in the Netherlands, you will find our eldery being in pretty good shape because even at their old age they still move around by walking or using a BICYCLE. Also, Dutch food isn't the type of food that gets one overweight quickly. Sounds like you're just reaching for straws trying to justify being fat.
@shaysh87 not really. Id hate myself if i was that fucking lazy. Never been without income. Never not had a job more than like a day. Now i dont work anymore. So really its my least concern. Also not fat i always work out play sports and eat healthy. So my biggest issue is i have little tolerance for some lazy bum woman enjoying all my hard work and just thinks she's going to be a lard ass. Disgusting. She gets my money and my washboard abs she better be on point.
do you realize the only reason why a woman wants to marry a rich man is so she won't have to work for the rest of her life?
@shaysh87 thats fine. This is about being fat. I would not tolerate it at all.
@bamesjond0069
Your relationship was never about love anyways. Nothing separates true love. You wouldn't understand cuz you never experienced it and probably never will
@shaysh87 whats love got to do with it? I find lazy people disgusting.
@bamesjond0069 When someone is sugarcoating laziness and guilt tripping people who prefer a lazy partner, then that is a give away that person is lazy themselves. I've never met a single person who is serious about their health and shape sugarcoat a lazy lifestyle
@bamesjond0069
you find them disgusting because you never loved them in the first place.
@shaysh87 so if your husband shot a baby in the face with a gun and raped someone you would stay with him because you love him?
Love isn't really that important in having good relationships.
@bamesjond0069
becoming fat is completely different from shooting a baby in the face.
if you think those two are remotely comparable, then you're retarded.
@shaysh87 oh so love doesn't make up for being a shitty person? Its not everything?
@bamesjond0069
Because when you fall in love with someone's character and personality, they will still appeal to you regardless of whatever way they look. This is the power of love which you obviously don't understand.
@shaysh87 "Because when you fall in love with someone's character and personality, they will still appeal to you regardless of whatever way they look."
You just dont get it. Its not about how they look. Its their character and personality that is the most disgusting. Lazy is what disgusts me the most. I could put up with a fat woman due to pregnancy or injury but after that only a lazy person would stay fat and i find lazy people to be disgusting bad people. Its immoral to be lazy and i dont like to hang around lazy people lest they influence me to be lazier.
Like i tell my girlfriend, i dont care about her weight on the scale which is fine by the way, but even though she's thin she upsets me sometimes skipping out on gym and sports and i do not find it attractive at all. She also would have a terrible diet if i didn't constantly keep on her... but she's learning and improving so im ok with continuing to help her. But if she just never exercised and ate candy all day even if thin id probably break up with her eventually too over her lazy uncaring attitude about her own health.
@bamesjond0069
fat does not mean lazy. There are plenty of mothers who gain 30 pounds after birthing 3 children over the span of 5 years, and working herself 16 hours a day at her full time job and coming home to cook dinner, do housework, laundry, help her husband pay the bills, teach homework. Its very common for a woman to gain weight after she becomes a mother and trust me, she WORKS HARD to raise her kids and pay the bills.
where did you get the impression that all fat people are lazy? they aren't.
@bamesjond0069
people are supposed to get fatter as they get older. their metabolism slows down. its not something shocking or unnatural or uncommon. does this mean all older people are lazy? NO.
It just means you're an idiot.
@shaysh87 i wouldn't be interested in a woman who works a job like that. I expect her to spend time and effort on her health. there's no excuses. Its part of being an adult. And yes most older fat people are lazy or have no self control or dont care if they are fat. Fact. Otherwise they wouldn't be fat. No matter the reason its a personality defect. They have something wrong with their personality. And thats not something i care to deal with as i am not lazy and i have self control and i do care about my health. So i wouldn't be a good fit for someone who just goes "welp guess ill get diabetes eventually". No thanks.
@bamesjond0069
Most guys can't afford to sufficiently provide for a housewife and 3 kids. Thats why so many wives in the US have jobs.
so your wife gave birth to 3 children, now she is killing herself at home caring for a newborn that never stops crying all day, doing all the housework, does your laundry, cooks your lunch boxes, strugglin to breast feed all day, cooking all the meals. She barely ever sleeps cuz the baby keeps crying. The other 2 kids is a shit load of work.
now you're leaving her because she gained weight? how is she lazy? she has given you 3 kids, barely ever sleep due to all the work, makes all your lunch so you don't have to make it yourself, does all your housework so you don't have to do it, does your laundry so you don't have to do it.
how is she lazy?
you're not even cleaning up after yourself or making your own food. you are the lazy one, not her.
@bamesjond0069
you have a maid at home cleaning up after you, cooking for you, being a parent so you don't have to be a parent. I think you're the lazy one, not her.
@shaysh87 umm well im not most men so i can't comment on that. Any girl I've ever been with had no job becaused thats how i was raised. That women who work are low class since they couldnt figure how to get out of poverty or immoral because they are materialistic since women ought not work out of the home. So ofc she has plenty of time to work out. But eating healthy is 80% of looking good. You dont HAVE to exercise to at least not be a fatty. So i really dont see how anyone couldn't get in shape. I only work out like 3 hours a week often. Its not much time at all. Does she have time to watch tv? I mean most fat women seem to watch lots of tv. Lol
@bamesjond0069
moms with 3 kids , working full time jobs, doing all the housework and cooking meals for their husbands usually do not have the time to exercise. Weight gain, especially after multiple children, is normal and natural amongst women. Its not because she eats junk food. PREGNANCY CAUSES WEIGHT GAIN.
if you don't want her to gain weight, don't have kids with her.
Unless if you're willing to hire her a nanny so she can stop taking care of the kids so much so she can go exercise.
@shaysh87 pregnancy weight gain is for the weight of the child and fluids. The mom doesn't actually have to gain any weight. One only needs to increase diet about the amount of 1 banana a day to provide for the child.
@bamesjond0069
pregnancy causes weight gain. this is what doctors classify as a normal part of childbirth. Not what some misogynist believes.
and lets be honest, you never loved her. you're not capable of love. There is a good chance those 18 yr old girls never loved you either.
@shaysh87 you're just trying to get a rise out of me. Lmao. And no pregnant woman should be "eating for two" its just nonsense. Eat a freaking apple extra. Not two burgers or 6 slices of pizza or a tub of ice cream. Disgusting.
@bamesjond0069
ok. so you're willin to starve your own baby so she doesn't gain weight?
what type of father are you? sounds like child protective services need to be called even before the kid is born.
@bamesjond0069
nobody wants you. you're not worth anything more than just an ATM card.
Most moms gain weight even tho they can barely eat and are puking cuz of morning sickness. I rarely see anything that actually eat for 2
The mom needs to gain weight and for themselves and they baby to stay healthy. About 30lbs
The moms dont need to gain any weight as in fat. The weight they gain should and could be almost entirely fluids and the baby. Upon pregnancy when the baby is out and the fluids are released after a short time like a month, they should be back to about their original weight before pregnancy.
Is it normal to gain a lot of weight? Yes. But thats a hell of a low bar. Its also normal for men to only make minimum wage. Do you think that normal is ok or is that sad to have as the minimum requirements for a man? Sorry but thats sad asf in both instances. Its not even the fact someone doesn't make a lot or someones overweight, whats sad is their personality thats ok with that. I like to be excellent and ill always try to be excellent. Probably why im well off and have an athlete physique. Also got 4.0 in college... i just always try to be the best. It annoys the shit out of me when someone is like "i dont care if im average or below average oh well" that just completely disgusts me like how could someone be ok losing the game of life? Smh.
You shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place if looks matter that much to you
Im not gonna ruin my back by having sex with fat women.
@RobEurope then marry a slim bimbo
I will marry a bodybuilding fitness girl with strong arms so she can carry me to bed.
@RobEurope good luck.
I wouldn't leave just because of weight gain that would be wrong to do.
My main worry would actually be for her health as if I'm married to someone I love I'd want them to be healthy so we can spend more of our lives together.
Gaining weight isn't unhealthy for everyone. Also depends on the amount of weight
Yeah that is true sorry I should have been more specific about that one.
Also I feel like its fair as well that I can't hold a standard to my wife should I be fortunate enough to marry if I don't do the same.
I am really fine with her being healthy fat.
Not fat fat. Then I would make her lose the weight anyhow.
If you leave her over her gaining weight which happens for a lot of reasons maybe you’re in the relationship for the wrong reason
I'd have a wife that cares about her body/health as much as I do to not let herself get obese. So this question would never come up anyways. Choose your partner wisely. I'll never be with an unhealthy overweight woman. There would be no attraction anymore if she got huge. I wouldn't leave her, I just wouldn't be attracted to her anymore.
I can’t see marrying someone and then just leaving because they pout on weight. That sounds awful!
I would absolutely not leave her. Plus, some of us enjoy a little extra weight. 😉
Then the question for y'all would be would you leave if your wife if she got skinny? Lol
I first got with her when she was skinny. 🤣
But that would be an interesting question: Who has left their partner or had their partner leave them for getting too skinny.
This would mean, I would have to leave her if she was pregnant, lol.
No, of course not.
Not the same thing at all
Well besides pregnancy since that's not really being fat
Yeah, but you put on weight and later need to come back to shape.
If you're talking about "non-blessed" ones then it depends why she would become fat. But I believe I would try to help her lose it.
For me weight gain isn't really the issues. More a problem with skin being stretched from pregnancy and that cannot be fixed
I know right. I'm currently trying to lose weight
I'd stay out of loyalty as long as she was still a good person, but I'd lose attraction towards her and not want to be intimate/sexual with her.
I'd stay. My wife is plus size, and I definitely find her attractive
Aww.
If she had a legit medical condition or was paralyzed in an accident etc? Gotta make the best of the situation and be loyal.
If she got fat by being lazy/eating terribly and was unwilling to exercise and eat healthy? Either she would need to agree I can go date other women or a divorce, yes.
When we marry someone, it's supposed to be that person that we would be with even if they got parallelized from the neck down.
I don't care if she got her face totally burned, if she lost a limb, if she got blind, or much easier to deal with, got fat.
She will always be my wife, the woman I love.
We both had an agreement before we got married over 14 years ago that if the other got "fat", above a certain weight then it was grounds for divorce. She is the heaviest she has ever been in her life at 154lbs. The 175lbs mark is the number for her.
Sounds like a silly agreement. If your really loved her then weight wouldn't matter