Would you leave your wife if she got fat?

Question

How would you feel if your wife got fat after you got married? Would you no longer find her attractive and leave? Or stay cause you love her?

RedStealthOperative · Accepted Answer

As much as I'd want her to be into health and fitness as much as I am (establishing that at the beginning of the relationship), I'm marrying her for the love she brings to the table. At the end of the day, beauty is gonna fade, but man, I think it would really depend on the reason for her getting fat.. If she's doing it on purpose, just to say she doesn't have to "try" now that she's got me "locked-in" with the ball-and-chain, I'd have to rethink who I married. Lol At that point, it would be a question of her character, which I wouldn't like.

I don't agree with obesity being healthy. It puts unnecessary pressure on organs, and is usually evident of heart issues and clogged arteries.

However if there's some uncontrollable reason as to why she's gotten fat and it's been hard for her to lose, of course not. I'm there with her through thick and thin (no puns intended). Anyway, as long as she's striving to be healthy, regardless of how her body size is, and she's continuing to pour goodness and love into the relationship, then I have no problems.

I think in many relationships, what happens is dudes knock their wives up, she has his kids, gains a lot of weight, looks nothing like how she did pre-kids, and he is then repulsed by her appearance. This is where things are just selfish and disgusting on the guy's part, having the nerve to turn his face away after being part of the cause of her weight gain in the first place.

Keepitreal007 · Accepted Answer

So this actually is my situation. My wife, who I love dearly, has gained 120 pounds since we got married 26 years ago. I still think she’s hot and love seeing her naked etc so it hasn’t been a problem for me, but of course it’s a problem for her. But what drives me crazy is to hear her complain about it but do nothing about. Another thing I hate is because of her own insecurities now she doesn’t want to be naked, she doesn’t want to wear a bikini or a thong at the beach even though I love it and love seeing her in it so it’s now affecting my joy in her on something she’s unwilling to change which I think is unfair.

girls do you think that’s unfair? If your man loved seeing you in a thong at the beach would you still do it for him or take that joy away from him because of your own insecurities and unwillingness to lose weight?

TenderFantasy · Accepted Answer

I know this question was for guys, but I know I wouldn't want my husband leaving me over that. I could have a health issue. I wouldn't want someone to leave me based on something I couldn't really control! and I think I would more than likely be that for the person if they just gave me a chance!

Also, people could get fat for various reasons. Pregnancy could also do that to you, but that's only during pregnancy and a bit thereafter. Some I think keep it for longer (or forever), depending on if they adopt a healthier, or more different lifestyle. But these are just guesses because I don't have kids. It's just from what I've observed!

Also, AGING gains you weight as well! Especially in Middle age.

erandal · Accepted Answer

Most women will gain some weight after having children, those who don't are either very lucky or they have got a seriously good exercise regime and a lot of self control where the fridge is concerned.

The biggest issue is a change in lifestyle after having children and significant weight gain (two dress sizes or more) is often a direct result of this. It needs to be addressed with a change in diet and regular exercise sooner rather than later.

I've had children and yes I have gained some weight but lots of Yoga, swimming and general exercise has kept it under control. I do worry about it even though my husband tells me he will love me whatever.

Pinay_ako · Answer

If he leaves me coz I got fat, then that’s fine. I can get hot when he does 🤣. But I know I’m not leaving my man if he gets fat. The only reason I’m leaving him is if he’s abusive! Looks are so shallow. But abuse is more than skin deep!

AviatorTom · Answer

If that was the only thing, hell no... that's no reason to end a marriage. If that was a symptom of other things, it may be time to leave... that depends.

Avicenna · Answer

Fat, as in overweight, or fat as in obese? Overweight I can tolerate to some extent. Obese, no way.

TransAm85 · Answer

I thought this was actually true b/c I was chubby in middle/high school, so it still haunts me as an adult. I lost 100 lbs by the time I was 19. When my now husband asked me to marry him in '12, I was happy, but in the back of my mind I was thinking, what if I get fat again? He's never seen me fat! I asked him that and he said that he doesn't care, just as long as I never turn out like my mother! lol He said he loves me for who I am as a person, but if I turn into the greedy, selfish old bag like my mother, he will have the divorce papers ready!

Fireguy17 · Answer

That is covered under the for better or worse part of your vows.
After 2 or 3 kids, in her 30s it seems to happen.
She is still the same person and your wife.
Besides you might go bald and can no longer get a stiffie, so is that grounds for her to leave you?

Gent207 · Answer

I'd leave her just long enough for me to throat punch the superficial bitch or baster that would ask such a bullshit question.
TILL DEATH DO YOU PART!
If you love your spouse and you two are in a healthy non-abusive relationship then the only way you should depart from it is in a body bag.
Otherwise don't bother getting married🤬

GurlMaster40 · Answer

Ok who the f said that they would leave their wife! They need to leave. It’s unkind and disrespectful to those who either feel comfortable in the way they are or can’t help it because of an illness! I’m sorry I am just a bit angered when people say things like that.

shaysh87 · Answer

A man who leaves you because you got fat, is not a man who truly loves you for who you are. Women gain weight all the time especially after childbirth, its not uncommon or surprising. If your husband wants to ditch you, it means both your souls were never aligned together in the first place. He settled for you.

Mia-Wallace · Answer

I was underweight when I started my relationship 8 years ago. My guy helped me gain weight.  Knowing him, he'd just help me lose weight.  And no, I'm never going to leave my husband for that reason.

loveslongnails · Answer

When I met my S. O., she was about 160 lbs. She's 5' 6 1/2 inches medium frame, but she wasn't toned. At one point, she got down to 122 lbs, had kinky curly long hair. Always had great legs and turned lots of heads. Then she got as heavy as 185.

I encouraged her to lose weight through all our time together, but she was the driving force. I didn't leave her when she got fat, nor would I. Now she's back to about the 160 mark and runs 4 times a week. She wants to lose about 15 lbs again but hey, we also love "the good life".

DoctorSex · Answer

My loss of attraction would be more deeply a mental loss of attraction than a physical... although the physical is still there.

Fitness is deeply important to me and for my partner to abandon what I found attractive in her in the first place, would make me feel like I've been cheated and played.

To not care about your loved ones sexual attraction is an Unhealthy, and ultimately self destructive behaviour. If someone who asked me to dedicate my life to them, stopped caring about maintaining my attraction to her; Then out of love my love for her I'd do the same.
Out of love I'd ignore her, out of love I'd tell her that I'm out with other women. Out of love I'd make her feel in a myriad of ways, how she has decided to make me feel. If she thinks it best to get a divorce after experiencing her own lack of care aimed back at her, then my slate is clean and it's for the best.

Kind regards,
DoctorSex

bademoxy · Answer

"how would you feel if your husband's lifelong career got ended by industrial offshoring to China? would you no longer find him attractive and leave?" . This actually DID happen to millions of Western men throughout the 80's , leaving especially the middle aged ones who's entire life's investment evaporated -and their sons who would never build a pension- abandoned by wives and homeless by foreclosure.
i saw that happen to my dad's generation as I graduated highschool into a world where junior entry level jobs went to unemployed older factory workers while the few good paying jobs went to gender & racial affirmative action. I was fortunate enough through stubborn perseverance to finally achieve a stable career job with a livable partial pension and a home paid off soon , which means I was delayed almost 2 decades before getting an actual opportunity, which was never "equal" for my generational demographic
"

meetkitty123 · Answer

Well I answered this question on the idea of what if my husband got fat and I would stay with him though I would probably gently change his diet... Trying so that he doesn't notice lol
Not for his appearance heavens no but for his heart and cholesterol levels health reasons. I wouldn't want him getting sick or worse

HaveNoName · Answer

It is normal part of married life. Most women do not stay the same after kids. They do go through changes. It would be a flat out lie to say that you find her just as attractive... I do not believe in such politically correct nonsense. However, you don't fucking leave your spouse for his / her changing looks. That is not what marriage is about.

Keyboardkat · Answer

Leave her? NEVER! Not after 50 years and three children. We've had our ups and downs over the years, and she has stuck by me through some tough times when I think most other women would have said, "I'm outta here!" I love her like crazy, and I wouldn't trade her for a busload of fashion models! Besides, her laugh can turn me into a lamp base!

HopefulGuy94 · Answer

Such a ridiculuous reason for someone to leave his/her soulmate for physical apperance and that also means that person has chosen his/her spouse only for physical apperance , if he or she finds someone more attractive for him/her they would go for them. This proves that this person is not marriage person.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

No, there are a number of things people can go through and being fat is one of them.

it could be medical or due to mental health,

I guess a person leaving for her being fat, would accept their arse being dumped for similar.

Also what about if either is in a major accident, paralysed, missing limbs etc, do they also just get dumped.

Belgie · Answer

Depends on the reason. If it was because she had contempt for us and the relationship and an attitude of "I can do what I want, I'm married now" then yeah, I would.

If it was just something that happens as we get older enjoying life, then no, never.

Ryfyle · Answer

There is an underlying problem that must be addressed and rectified.

@Apple1996
"So many of you guys are saying you'd help her lose weight but what if she is happy with her body/weight and doesn't want to change? "
It's thinking like that makes universal health care impossible.

Nothing says "healthy" like oxygen tubes.

Being a waddling fat ass is not a good thing for anybody. It's a drain on society as a whole.

TheMajesticKing777 · Answer

I guess that depends how fat and how her eating habits and lifestyles, because it honestly goes beyond just her appearance at this point, health is also in the picture, tbh id want my wife to outlive me, not the other way around, I saw the update and weight gain is doable but if it forms into an unhealthy diet and she refuses to help herself then I would probably leave her, what can I say, I got limits

Moose304 · Answer

There is a huge difference between a female carrying a few extra pounds and getting morbidly obese. I know men get fat, but the question is about females. This is how I look at it. Life can sometimes suck. Childbirth or losing a job can really do a job on a female going forward. This is where a husband should be proactive. There are things a husband can do to make it easier for his wife to lose weight and keep it off. I will do what I can to keep her engaged in taking care of her body. However, I WILL not just sit and watch her harm herself. So, YES I can see me walking away. I won't like doing it, but I WILL NOT sit back helpless and watch her kill herself.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

If she did that, that would mean she easily gave up on herself, which would mean when the going gets tough for us as relationships often do, what does that mean when that happens. It’s not the “she’s fat” part that bothers me, it’s the fact should would stop doing the things that kept her healthy and in shape. And let herself go. That’s a problem. Effort energy and enthusiasm are everything when it comes to life. However, you question was, would I leave. If she decided that she wasn’t going to work on it after we discuss it and everything. Yeah, probably. I can’t stay with someone that’s going to be super lazy in important parts of life

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I wouldn't leave if he gained a normal and reasonable amount of weight and still remained functional but I wouldn't be happy if he got big enough to participate in 600lbs life.

That said, if I gained weight I'd want my partner to either be supportive in me losing weight (healthy food, encourage exercise), shut up about it (I'd know that I'm fat) or leave.

Whatever2929292 · Answer

No I would not leave her. I have morals and real love unlike... Some people. I even love the trolls on this site. I love you Apple. I love all the degenerates on here I feel more bad for them

TCredo · Answer

Hope I explain this properly lol... if the only thing was her gaining weight, I'd stay - but it would be challenging to stay if her getting fat resulted in her never or rarely wanting to do active things or go out or go on trips or be fun etc... hope that makes sense :)

Lucy68 · Answer

I hope my future husband still finds me attractive if I gain a few, if he gain a few pounds I'd still love him and find him sexy. Bodies change as one gets married, have kids, and settle down.

Anonymous · Answer

Bodies change as you get older. Women AND men can get fat. Men in particular start balding too. Would I leave my partner if he was balding and gained a bit of weight? No. I think I would only leave my partner if he became obese like americans, to the point where he can’t wash himself or walk without a stroller/walking stick, and refused to change diet.

Juven · Answer

For someone like me, it's just different 'cause I find interest in people for the way they think not how they look. That is where most people and especially the coming of age where technology has advanced and the world of social media has influenced many people.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

If I was to leave someone because they gained enough to be overweight or obese I would not have gotten with my girlfriend. The reason is because my girlfriend was a big woman before I got with her and still is. To me physically she is pulchritudinous and a turn on.

Datboi65 · Answer

Would you be OK if your husband lost all his money and was OK with it? Would you love him then? This is basically how you sound right now. No sense of logic whatsoever. Yes, I would still love her, but I have enough self-respect and dignity to not want to associate with anyone who settles for mediocrity. If she is OK with her weight, I'd rather get a divorce.

TruthBringer · Answer

That would be the last resort, yes. If I got with her when she was in great shape and she decided to slack off and no matter how much I tried to motivate her to get back on track, I'll leave. Not only will the attraction be lost, but it is also a clear red flag of her taking the easy and lazy road in life. And that won't fly with me.

Anonymous · Answer

would really depend as to how much weight they put on, why they put it on, what caused them to put it on and how fast they put it on. also if they would consider trying to lose some or most of it in the future if able.

when I first started dating my ex she was roughly 175 pounds and 5'10" tall. yet most of her weight was evenly spread out over her body so she didn't look that heavy. however over roughly 5 years of dating she nearly doubled in weight to over 300 pounds. because she just didn't want to put in the effort to maintain herself over time. I tried to help her by offering to make healthier meals, go on walks and/or come to the gym with me but she refused. to my knowledge she didn't have any healthy issues or medicine that caused her to gain that much weight. but as time went on we drifted apart from each other and ultimately broke up.

MCheetah · Answer

No. I'd only leave her if she was a criminal, cheating on me, abusive, or I found out she was queer/not-straight (which is really just the second and third thing I already said).

FunkyMonkee · Answer

My "wife" left ME because she was fucking GREEDY!! She was ALREADY a bit of a chub when I met her and I still stuck by her for 10 years!

Anthony20108 · Answer

Hell no I am chubby already and I plan to get a chisled body lol but if she ever got overweight that wouldn't change anything for me lol because I love her for her if she's chubby I mean hey whatever man she's still the same beautiful woman I've fallen in love with ❤️

globetrotter22 · Answer

I will never hold a girlfriend or wife to higher standards than I hold myself. But I would encourage her to exercise with me and eat healthy. I would lead by example.

But honestly if I put in the effort to stay in shape while she goes on cruise control; is that fair?

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Of course I wouldn't leave her!! But I wouldn't SAY that. Because I don't want her to feel too comfortable. Lol

Nik1hil · Answer

I cannot handle Obese!
She needs to be near her BMI..

and Illness is an exception, and fitness is priority..
If she is, on her fitness according to BMI..

But like she doesn't has a leg and is overweight looking than its deal breakee

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

I’d never marry under the current system. Exactly because of this kind of situation. Ideally, i should be able to offer for her to join me on my workouts. But she could just choose to continue to disrespect herself and me and in marriage i take it or she takes everything from me. On the other hand, the US has mostly ignored common law marriage for several decades. So if we don’t marry, when my attempts to be kind and helpful are ignored or met with hostility, i am actually free to leave!

wheresmrcunnunglis · Answer

I would not allow them to get past being slim. If I came into the relationship with them being fit and muscular I expect that to be ongoing and not something they lose once they get too "comfortable" in the relationship as it goes on. Not about that life

UniquelyBasic · Answer

Depends how fat she got. If she gained like 20 lbs then I wouldn't have an issue with it. If she gained like a 100lbs then I would find it hard to find her attractive physically. I wouldn't leave her as I would express to her how I find it hard to be attracted to her and I would hope she would try to lose some of the weight. That goes both ways as well, Ill try to keep in shape so my partner continues to find me attractive.

Andres77 · Answer

Never! And she wouldn't anyway because she's a busy women with lots of things to do.

humanearth · Answer

My wife is fat, and she knows it Neither of us look the same after 30 years together. If you bitch about your partners weight and leave them. That's not love That's using them

Literalbillionaire17 · Answer

I obv don’t have a wife lol but no I wouldn’t leave my husband if he gained weight. If he doesn’t like the way he is I will help him lose it but if he likes a little extra weight on him idc bc he’s still the same guy I fell for.

Anonymous · Answer

I voted Stay, but I draw the line at fat folds (unless she is/was pregnant). A guy marries a woman for who she is at the time; intentionally undermining this is a violation of trust, and maybe even consent.

Just because you are married doesn't give you the right to let yourself go. This certainly applies to guys.

Wubs3000 · Answer

I feel its your responsibility to try to remain good looking even in a secure relationship. But I wouldn't leave though I would probably tactfully try and help her manage weight ig. Go on walks with her more often, do more sports, buy less junk food if I'm shopping, cook healthier meals, bring her with me to a gym.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Id give her a chance to lose it, id help her lose it, if she refused to lose it that is a personality defect and abusive to both herself and the husband. Yes id leave someone like that. Would you leave if i wanted to chop both my arms off and then make you deal with my health consequences by having to wipe my ass? Thats no different at all.

fonduegirl · Answer

You shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place if looks matter that much to you

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't leave just because of weight gain that would be wrong to do.

My main worry would actually be for her health as if I'm married to someone I love I'd want them to be healthy so we can spend more of our lives together.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

I am really fine with her being healthy fat. Not fat fat. Then I would make her lose the weight anyhow.

Texasgal95 · Answer

If you leave her over her gaining weight which happens for a lot of reasons maybe you’re in the relationship for the wrong reason

Hairylegs222 · Answer

I'd have a wife that cares about her body/health as much as I do to not let herself get obese. So this question would never come up anyways. Choose your partner wisely. I'll never be with an unhealthy overweight woman. There would be no attraction anymore if she got huge. I wouldn't leave her, I just wouldn't be attracted to her anymore.

Th3ft · Answer

I can’t see marrying someone and then just leaving because they pout on weight. That sounds awful!

Mangospacho · Answer

I would absolutely not leave her. Plus, some of us enjoy a little extra weight. 😉

Cubus · Answer

This would mean, I would have to leave her if she was pregnant, lol. No, of course not.

jmsinaz · Answer

We both had an agreement before we got married over 14 years ago that if the other got "fat", above a certain weight then it was grounds for divorce. She is the heaviest she has ever been in her life at 154lbs. The 175lbs mark is the number for her.

HighValue · Answer

I'd stay out of loyalty as long as she was still a good person, but I'd lose attraction towards her and not want to be intimate/sexual with her.

matchrestore · Answer

I'd stay. My wife is plus size, and I definitely find her attractive

RationalMale · Answer

If she had a legit medical condition or was paralyzed in an accident etc? Gotta make the best of the situation and be loyal.

If she got fat by being lazy/eating terribly and was unwilling to exercise and eat healthy? Either she would need to agree I can go date other women or a divorce, yes.

This_Is_My_Opinion8 · Answer

When we marry someone, it's supposed to be that person that we would be with even if they got parallelized from the neck down.
I don't care if she got her face totally burned, if she lost a limb, if she got blind, or much easier to deal with, got fat.
She will always be my wife, the woman I love.

Would you leave your wife if she got fat?

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Would you leave your wife if she got fat?

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