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So many of you guys are saying you'd help her lose weight but what if she is happy with her body/weight and doesn't want to change?
Would you leave your wife if she got fat?
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As much as I'd want her to be into health and fitness as much as I am (establishing that at the beginning of the relationship), I'm marrying her for the love she brings to the table. At the end of the day, beauty is gonna fade, but man, I think it would really depend on the reason for her getting fat.. If she's doing it on purpose, just to say she doesn't have to "try" now that she's got me "locked-in" with the ball-and-chain, I'd have to rethink who I married. Lol At that point, it would be a question of her character, which I wouldn't like.
I don't agree with obesity being healthy. It puts unnecessary pressure on organs, and is usually evident of heart issues and clogged arteries.
However if there's some uncontrollable reason as to why she's gotten fat and it's been hard for her to lose, of course not. I'm there with her through thick and thin (no puns intended). Anyway, as long as she's striving to be healthy, regardless of how her body size is, and she's continuing to pour goodness and love into the relationship, then I have no problems.
I think in many relationships, what happens is dudes knock their wives up, she has his kids, gains a lot of weight, looks nothing like how she did pre-kids, and he is then repulsed by her appearance. This is where things are just selfish and disgusting on the guy's part, having the nerve to turn his face away after being part of the cause of her weight gain in the first place.
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So this actually is my situation. My wife, who I love dearly, has gained 120 pounds since we got married 26 years ago. I still think she’s hot and love seeing her naked etc so it hasn’t been a problem for me, but of course it’s a problem for her. But what drives me crazy is to hear her complain about it but do nothing about. Another thing I hate is because of her own insecurities now she doesn’t want to be naked, she doesn’t want to wear a bikini or a thong at the beach even though I love it and love seeing her in it so it’s now affecting my joy in her on something she’s unwilling to change which I think is unfair.
girls do you think that’s unfair? If your man loved seeing you in a thong at the beach would you still do it for him or take that joy away from him because of your own insecurities and unwillingness to lose weight?
I know this question was for guys, but I know I wouldn't want my husband leaving me over that. I could have a health issue. I wouldn't want someone to leave me based on something I couldn't really control! and I think I would more than likely be that for the person if they just gave me a chance!
Also, people could get fat for various reasons. Pregnancy could also do that to you, but that's only during pregnancy and a bit thereafter. Some I think keep it for longer (or forever), depending on if they adopt a healthier, or more different lifestyle. But these are just guesses because I don't have kids. It's just from what I've observed!
Also, AGING gains you weight as well! Especially in Middle age.
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Most women will gain some weight after having children, those who don't are either very lucky or they have got a seriously good exercise regime and a lot of self control where the fridge is concerned.
The biggest issue is a change in lifestyle after having children and significant weight gain (two dress sizes or more) is often a direct result of this. It needs to be addressed with a change in diet and regular exercise sooner rather than later.
I've had children and yes I have gained some weight but lots of Yoga, swimming and general exercise has kept it under control. I do worry about it even though my husband tells me he will love me whatever.
What Girls & Guys Said
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If he leaves me coz I got fat, then that’s fine. I can get hot when he does 🤣. But I know I’m not leaving my man if he gets fat. The only reason I’m leaving him is if he’s abusive! Looks are so shallow. But abuse is more than skin deep!
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If that was the only thing, hell no... that's no reason to end a marriage. If that was a symptom of other things, it may be time to leave... that depends.
- 519 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
Fat, as in overweight, or fat as in obese? Overweight I can tolerate to some extent. Obese, no way.
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I thought this was actually true b/c I was chubby in middle/high school, so it still haunts me as an adult. I lost 100 lbs by the time I was 19. When my now husband asked me to marry him in '12, I was happy, but in the back of my mind I was thinking, what if I get fat again? He's never seen me fat! I asked him that and he said that he doesn't care, just as long as I never turn out like my mother! lol He said he loves me for who I am as a person, but if I turn into the greedy, selfish old bag like my mother, he will have the divorce papers ready!
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That is covered under the for better or worse part of your vows.
After 2 or 3 kids, in her 30s it seems to happen.
She is still the same person and your wife.
Besides you might go bald and can no longer get a stiffie, so is that grounds for her to leave you? -
I'd leave her just long enough for me to throat punch the superficial bitch or baster that would ask such a bullshit question.
TILL DEATH DO YOU PART!
If you love your spouse and you two are in a healthy non-abusive relationship then the only way you should depart from it is in a body bag.
Otherwise don't bother getting married🤬 -
Ok who the f said that they would leave their wife! They need to leave. It’s unkind and disrespectful to those who either feel comfortable in the way they are or can’t help it because of an illness! I’m sorry I am just a bit angered when people say things like that.
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A man who leaves you because you got fat, is not a man who truly loves you for who you are. Women gain weight all the time especially after childbirth, its not uncommon or surprising. If your husband wants to ditch you, it means both your souls were never aligned together in the first place. He settled for you.
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I was underweight when I started my relationship 8 years ago. My guy helped me gain weight.
Knowing him, he'd just help me lose weight.
And no, I'm never going to leave my husband for that reason. -
My loss of attraction would be more deeply a mental loss of attraction than a physical... although the physical is still there.
Fitness is deeply important to me and for my partner to abandon what I found attractive in her in the first place, would make me feel like I've been cheated and played.
To not care about your loved ones sexual attraction is an Unhealthy, and ultimately self destructive behaviour. If someone who asked me to dedicate my life to them, stopped caring about maintaining my attraction to her; Then out of love my love for her I'd do the same.
Out of love I'd ignore her, out of love I'd tell her that I'm out with other women. Out of love I'd make her feel in a myriad of ways, how she has decided to make me feel. If she thinks it best to get a divorce after experiencing her own lack of care aimed back at her, then my slate is clean and it's for the best.
Kind regards,
DoctorSex -
When I met my S. O., she was about 160 lbs. She's 5' 6 1/2 inches medium frame, but she wasn't toned. At one point, she got down to 122 lbs, had kinky curly long hair. Always had great legs and turned lots of heads. Then she got as heavy as 185.
I encouraged her to lose weight through all our time together, but she was the driving force. I didn't leave her when she got fat, nor would I. Now she's back to about the 160 mark and runs 4 times a week. She wants to lose about 15 lbs again but hey, we also love "the good life". -
"how would you feel if your husband's lifelong career got ended by industrial offshoring to China? would you no longer find him attractive and leave?" . This actually DID happen to millions of Western men throughout the 80's , leaving especially the middle aged ones who's entire life's investment evaporated -and their sons who would never build a pension- abandoned by wives and homeless by foreclosure.
i saw that happen to my dad's generation as I graduated highschool into a world where junior entry level jobs went to unemployed older factory workers while the few good paying jobs went to gender & racial affirmative action. I was fortunate enough through stubborn perseverance to finally achieve a stable career job with a livable partial pension and a home paid off soon , which means I was delayed almost 2 decades before getting an actual opportunity, which was never "equal" for my generational demographic
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Well I answered this question on the idea of what if my husband got fat and I would stay with him though I would probably gently change his diet... Trying so that he doesn't notice lol
Not for his appearance heavens no but for his heart and cholesterol levels health reasons. I wouldn't want him getting sick or worse -
It is normal part of married life. Most women do not stay the same after kids. They do go through changes. It would be a flat out lie to say that you find her just as attractive... I do not believe in such politically correct nonsense. However, you don't fucking leave your spouse for his / her changing looks. That is not what marriage is about.
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Leave her? NEVER! Not after 50 years and three children. We've had our ups and downs over the years, and she has stuck by me through some tough times when I think most other women would have said, "I'm outta here!" I love her like crazy, and I wouldn't trade her for a busload of fashion models! Besides, her laugh can turn me into a lamp base!
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Such a ridiculuous reason for someone to leave his/her soulmate for physical apperance and that also means that person has chosen his/her spouse only for physical apperance , if he or she finds someone more attractive for him/her they would go for them. This proves that this person is not marriage person.
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No, there are a number of things people can go through and being fat is one of them.
it could be medical or due to mental health,
I guess a person leaving for her being fat, would accept their arse being dumped for similar.
Also what about if either is in a major accident, paralysed, missing limbs etc, do they also just get dumped. - 330 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
Depends on the reason. If it was because she had contempt for us and the relationship and an attitude of "I can do what I want, I'm married now" then yeah, I would.
If it was just something that happens as we get older enjoying life, then no, never. -
There is an underlying problem that must be addressed and rectified.
@Apple1996
"So many of you guys are saying you'd help her lose weight but what if she is happy with her body/weight and doesn't want to change? "
It's thinking like that makes universal health care impossible.
Nothing says "healthy" like oxygen tubes. Being a waddling fat ass is not a good thing for anybody. It's a drain on society as a whole.
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I guess that depends how fat and how her eating habits and lifestyles, because it honestly goes beyond just her appearance at this point, health is also in the picture, tbh id want my wife to outlive me, not the other way around, I saw the update and weight gain is doable but if it forms into an unhealthy diet and she refuses to help herself then I would probably leave her, what can I say, I got limits
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