How do I get a man's unconditional love?

[TenderFantasy]

Updates

+1 y

What the hell? Why did a moderator /admin change my question's category to "Flirting"? How insulting! This is a serious question! Arrg!

[jennifer_bloom]

Love is never unconditional but it might be loyal and faithful, to get a man’s unending loyalty, you must be kind and loving and take care of the things that attracted him to you whether it’s your health or your intelligence or your job or your house keeping skills.

[TenderFantasy]

Why not? Is it THAT difficult to be unconditionally loving someone? Interesting, thanks.

[TenderFantasy]

Also, I did that and he STILL left me 😞. Maybe good riddance anyway. Not like he was perfect! In fact far from it!

[jennifer_bloom]

You can’t guarantee you will get a lasting relationship when you do what is right because not every person appreciates right action enough to stay, all I’m saying is, my advice will increase your chances, I’m not God and I can’t promise anything.

[TenderFantasy]

Oops, I didn't mean to pick your answer as Most Helpful (In fact, I found A LOT of the answers just as helpful). But I still don't agree that it is NEVER unconditional. People always have a choice and unfortunately, some are not nice about it or make bad choices.

[dustybiker]

“Love is selfless, non-possessive.” You don’t.

[TenderFantasy]

There's nothing wrong with asking for this type of treatment. I think it's a very fair thing to ask for. And most people (who are monogamous and faithful anyway), WANT to only be each other's. This isn't about cheating or not cheating. This is about how to get a MATURED, FAITHFUL, KIND, RESPONSIBLE, DECENT, Marriage-Material (family) type of guy to find you attractive enough and lovable enough to want to commit to (at least for a long while, if not forever). Just like MY parents. Why is that so hard to find these days? ? ! Just one thing wrong, and they out to catch the next bus/ship/whatever!

[dustybiker]

You missed the point.

[TenderFantasy]

Then could you care to explain what you mean? If I did find that unicorn, and he became my husband and married me, I was not about to become a controlling person and not let him do what he wanted, of course unless it was hurting himself or our family.

If you mean that you cannot force someone to love you unconditionally, that's true. I knew that already, but that's not what I was asking. I was asking HOW to get someone to go towards that route/action/feeling towards me!

[TenderFantasy]

Also, what is the damn point of trying to find a husband/spouse or a lover/love/Significant Other if when the going gets rough (and they more than likely will! Maybe a pregnancy loss, infertility struggles, maybe a cancer scare, sickness, financial crisis, child illness, teen drug trouble, mother/father in law passing, etc., etc.) if they just going to up and leave at the first sign of those things! Talk about betrayal!

[dustybiker]

The tighter you hold onto someone the more they want to pull away. You don’t own other people. You don’t make demands or require anything of anyone other than your own children.
A partner has to want to stay.
Think about how you would want to be treated. Do you like being stifled? Demanded of?
Relax. Enjoy a persons company.

I’m muting this question now. I doubt you will understand even now. Take care.

[TenderFantasy]

"The tighter you hold onto someone the more they want to pull away. " That's only for people who don't really love you/are too selfish to love you. You would NEVER want to hurt someone you cared about/loved, at least not intentionally. Only an immature person wouldn't get that.

Sorry you still don't get it.

[Bklynbadboy12]

That's a good question I don't think anybody can give you the answer to that there's no recipe for getting somebody's love that's not something they can control either they'll love you or they won't

[TenderFantasy]

I think they can control it they just don't want to for whatever shallow, stupid, superficial reason! Mostly selfishness is what it boils down to. If it doesn't benefit them (and they're not exactly a good person!), then bye!

[Bklynbadboy12]

That's not true we can't control who we fall in love with or when we fall in love no more than a woman can. The heart wants what the heart wants is sad but true

[TenderFantasy]

Well then I guess we can agree to disagree. For me, I think you can definitely control it! It's a mental thing. Also, why should I love let's say, someone who was mean and abusive to me? You want to make it fair in your already overwhelming life. You'd be STUPID to keep loving someone that hurts you. Makes no sense. This is what I have experienced sadly.

[Bklynbadboy12]

I'm sorry you had to go through that. You seem like a really nice girl don't let him or anyone else steal your joy

[TenderFantasy]

Thank you.

This guy was a homeless drug addict who got hit by a car TWICE and was very immature for some reason even at the age of 47! He USED to be a lawyer in Seattle but got Disbarred for some reason (maybe due to his drug use and depression or something). It's hard because yes, maybe you're right. I still have SOME type of feelings for him. I know it's going to take time to get over because I stupidly WAITED for him, my heart did, for at least 4 plus years!). This guy comes to my front door after two years of not seeing me. Confesses his "love" for me. Then he makes a wedding registry at Target for us. And then breaks up with me two days later. So weird. Also, we use my car for pretty much all our outings because he has no car. No home.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Damn I'm sorry you had to go through this cause you really seem like an amazing woman. Please don't let this experience change you cause love is a beautiful thing when you experience it with the right person

[andreasderjuengere]

There will always be some 'conditions'.

But they can be extremely fair and good for both.

The moment YOU do something to ''get his love'' - you already offer a 'deal'.

[TenderFantasy]

What do you mean by extremely fair and good for both? Sounds exaggerated to me.

[andreasderjuengere]

I used 'extremely' because there's never a 100% ''benefit for all. A little wear and tear -so to say- will need to be tolerated. Put it like that: when both partners feel very happy with their arrangement between each other? - and what makes a person 'happy' is very individual; I don't think that there's a one-for-all solution.

[Makeushiver]

There is only one source of unconditional love more later in that. Every love or affection held by mortals is conditi9nal. Husbands and wivws break uo for a variety of reasons. Children get tossed from the house because of drug and/or alcohol abuse. Dogs stop loving you if yio stop feeding & taking care of them. The one chance for unconditional love that possibly exists is spiritual love. All of the types of mortal love are transacctinal

[Lionman95]

Find the a guy that shares most of your values and try to build a relationship that involves goals you set as a couple. So that you live for one another because if you can trust him he will trust you.

[Guy13]

Proverbs Wife and Ephesians 5.

[TenderFantasy]

Thank you. I actually researched it. Nice.

https://www.biblestudytools.com/ephesians/5.html

[Guy13]

You are very welcomed. A decent Christian man will recognize those elements in a woman. AS would of the Christian divorcee for whatever reason groups... Churches and www.meetup.com

[Hanrej]

You don't. There's no such thing as unconditional love.

[TenderFantasy]

Why not?

[Hanrej]

Well, how do you know you don't allready have that? Because you're putting conditions on "love" to compare it to. Perhaps you're looking for somone who'll speak sweetly, spend his time and energy to keep you happy, work for the sake of bringing home money he then spends on creating a romantic atmosphere. Those are all conditions. Any person put under conditions will want to feel like the partner is worth it and so you will be met by conditions of his own.