I want to give a female friend very disappointing news (I do not want to get married) face to face but she keeps asking me over text/phone calls?

[Anonymous]

I have a long time female friend (briefly more than friends when we first met) who proposed a marriage idea a few months ago that would of mutually benefitted us both economically (her more so but me as well). I am actually in a financial calamity right now but I have been recovering. She brought up this idea right when my dire financial problem started. I was in a different headspace and I said I would consider it (I was)

Also I am 41 and never been married. She’s 27. She is a very honest and hard working woman. She always treated me well. I have a ton of respect for her. But I have one major problem: I am just not attracted to her physically. It’s not something she can change either (she’s not overweight).

She knows I am not in love with her. She also knows about my financial situation. This is really more for business. She even gave me permission to date other women when we got married but i was never a cheater and don’t want to be an adulterer. Even if it’s just a paper marriage cheating is cheating

I did seriously think about this. I got lots of advice from confidantes I trust too. But after thinking it all the way through I decided it’s not a good idea at all. There is only one way it could go right and thousands of ways it could go wrong.

Anyway she travels for her job and I only see her maybe once or twice a month. We were unable to meet up last time (I planned to tell her). Now she is asking me over text messages.

When it comes to big let downs I believe in telling people face to face. I’ve had plenty of women selfishly and cowardly bitch out by sending me the answer I didn’t want to hear his SMS or worse ghosting. I do not do that. For example I sat down and broke up with my last ex face to face. She went nuclear ballistic but I knew she could at least look back and realize I respected her. Let her get to say what she needed to say.

But again this girl keeps asking me. I want to give her the full context in person why.

[Guy13]

Exactly face-face because she’s either going to fall in your arms and cry or smack that skull. Need to get that out the way

[Asker]

Twice I planned to do this but she was unable to come by. She then texted me yesterday about it. I told her I wanted to say it “face to face” and she then asked “oh is that a good thing. Should I be excited?” I did not respond (and almost always respond).

In a way I am giving her the answer but not responding. But if she texts me again I might be forced to say something.

[Guy13]

Give her time and place. This is your meeting. Take control of the damn thing 😎

[Slipperydug]

This is the same man who admitted on gag a while back that he didn’t wanna date a girl because she’s back. he doesn’t wanna marry her because she’s a black woman.

[Slipperydug]

Black *

[Guy13]

You got me confused with someone else but still I’m not attracted to many black women except for a couple I modeled with…. they weren’t really “black” anyway. Any being raised around them the cultures are too different. . And I don’t apologize for it ‼️ You do whatever the hell you want to do you judgmental asshole

[Paradisesweetzz]

No the question asker don’t like black people period

[Paradisesweetzz]

I remember when he made a post about him not liking black people especially black women

[Asker]

I zero idea how in the hell race was brought into this. This other girl and myself are both white. Everything I posted above is the truth so please quit blowing up the threads with all these bizarre and baseless “race”‘allegations. Seriously for fucks sake that was the last thing I expected to read.

[Abbynewyork]

First off please stop whitewashing. I have seen this post several times under different accounts or either different genders. It was just last night this exact post was under a female account. Stop trolling

[Anonymous]

Have you told her that you didn’t wanna get married from the beginning?

[Asker]

I considered it for a while. But I was in a different (compromised) head space when she brought up this idea. Never told her yes but I needed time to think it over and did. I’ve come to a conclusion it’s just not going to work. If I was in love it would obviously be a different story.

[Opinion Owner]

Well then you can just be friends with her if that helps but it will break her heart though

[Asker]

She knew I might decline. But I do not want to decline over a text message. But she has asked me twice now in recent text messages.

[Avicenna]

Just be honest with her and do it in Person. You already know from your own experience how upsetting it is to be told something like that via text message.