Funny examples of marital bliss? Can you contribute a joke or meme?

[Lliam]

I ran across this first meme and it made me chuckle, so I decided to share.

Do you have any funny jokes or memes?
Here are a few more just to get you started.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "You are right."

I always wanted to marry Mrs. Right, but I didn't know her first name was "Always".

A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.

[AmandaYVR]

This is not a joke, per se, but it is a favourite line:

“We marry ourselves, Michael. Starting out in step, linked like a man and his reflection. Then the reflection starts making some moves on its own – revolt of the shadows. The trick is staying in sync.”

Michael: “How do you do that?”

Miles: “First, you have to figure out which side of the mirror you’re on.”

What does that mean, exactly? This character was always cryptic. He was highly intelligent, full of insights and wisdom, but he lived his life consumed with calculation, manipulation, and power plays. It's not surprising this is how he viewed marriage. (And never had any interest in long-term relationships.)

David Clennon as Miles Drentell

TV Series: "Thirtysomething", Episode: "Legacy"

[Lliam]

Yup. That one would leave me scratching my head. LOL

[musicbrain5]

Ha, those are good! I found a few more:

And here's one of my favourite jokes from Family Guy:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/DHzjgNoRmjg

[DizzyDesii]

The file and the cat one 🤣

[Lliam]

OMG, those were great! The file cabinet one made me spit out my drink. 🤣🤣🤣

[LiamJHayden]

I like these

[Lliam]

Those are GREAT! 🤣🤣🤣 The last one, in particular, strikes a chord. LOL

[NathanDavis]

lol...

true story...

truer story...

this is going to be... 100% sure

every single time...

lol...

[NathanDavis]

[DizzyDesii]

The recording, waiting and storm one took me out 🤣

[NathanDavis]

@DizzyDesii lmao...

on the waiting one, when they're finally ready

LET"S GO!! what are you waiting for? they say... lol

[DizzyDesii]

Im definitely that type. I’ll say “I was waiting on you the whole time” 😂 To make it worse, i took all that time, but come out in sweats and a hoodie 🤣

[NathanDavis]

@DizzyDesii and that's a classic... lol

[Lliam]

"I did the dishes" killed me. It's too close to the truth for me. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[WonderBell99]

the 4th one is accurate.. my mom takes forever to get ready 💀

[NathanDavis]

@WonderBell99 same with mine, hence... why I picked it, lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Here’s a few I thought were funny 😆

[TrueConfection]

* During a heated spat over finances the husband said, "Well, if you'd learn to cook and were willing to clean this place, we could fire the maid." The wife, fuming, shot back, "Oh yeah? Well, if you'd learn how to make love, we could fire the chauffeur and the gardener."

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
- Mickey Rooney (married 8 times)

I never mind my wife having the last word. In fact, I'm delighted when she gets to it.
- Walter Matthau

Never tell your wife she’s lousy in bed. She'll go out and get a second opinion.
- Rodney Dangerfield

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little attention, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.
- Henny Youngman

[Lliam]

Classics. I love it! 🤣🤣🤣

[DizzyDesii]

I couldnt find “bliss” ones lol

[Noah-z]

.

[Nikki1989]

Here ya go..

[SnowedIn]

I don't have a meme for it but my wife will often say, "what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine!"

With a smile on her face of course.

[Andres77]

Her- squeaky wheel gets the grease.

me-or gets replaced.