My daughter is pregnant?

[Anonymous]

My daughter just turned 21 and found out 2 days later she is pregnant. She was on the pill for PCOS and it was making it worse so the doctor pulled her off. Her boyfriend of 7 months is a 2nd year marine and is deploying in November for 6 months so he won’t be here. She’s scared but me and her dad will be here for her. She doesn’t want to move out of our house and we have a spare room so she wants to set it up for the baby. The boyfriends parents think they should get married so he can get more money and move out of the barracks and then live in their loft so they can save. We offered the same but my daughter doesn’t want to get married right now. I agree with my daughter. He has already cheated on her once. I would like her to see how their relationship goes during and after deployment and wait at least a year to see how life is with him and a baby. That’s actually her thought process as well. I feel bad he has to stay in the barracks and they can’t live together unless they get married. his family is overbearing. Im supporting my daughter in her decision and she’s 21 so it’s not my business. They keep pushing for marriage and to live in their house with 4 kids, 5 dogs, 3 cats and 2 bunnies. She doesn’t want that. She gets anxiety really bad and wants to stay in her home with us until she figures things out.

How do I shut these people up? 21 or not she’s my daughter and has a plan of her own. They live 5 minutes away from us. It doesn’t sound like they want what’s best for her. Just their son.

[Anonymous]

In your entire story you never mentioned what the dude wants. You want the best for your daughter just like they most likely want the best for him as well. First of all she should have left him the first time he cheated on her. Trust me it’s never really a good idea being w someone in the service. Am I saying no girl should ever do it? No I’m not but that is a very hard lifestyle, w lite success in the way of relationships. . I spent 10 years in the Marine Corps. So many men hooked up w numerous women in different countries. We deployed a lot. I take it he’s about her age. At that age w the influence from your bros, getting drunk, fighting, meeting girls on foreign countries, chances are he will do it again. A lot of foreign women live military men, especially Marines. I remember hitting numerous countries one after another, women standing out on the docks waiting for us to get off ship. Like a kid in a candy store. No I don’t think they should get married, they’d be doing it for the wrong reasons. I wouldn’t feel sorry for him having to stay in the barracks. If it’s like what I went through it was like college w guns w no homework. Parties, girls, doing dumb shit. Does he plan on re-enlisting?

[Asker]

My exact thoughts! He doesn’t plan on re-enlisting. So my other issue is his mom actually got them a hotel room together while she was on vacation with them and turns out that’s likely where they conceived. First off yes I know she’s 21 however she lives under our roof and when he stays he sleeps in a separate room and she knows that. So WTF would she get them a room! I would not have. Adult or not, living under my roof then my rules apply. Yes I know my daughter can make her own decisions but come on don’t set up the baby making for them! Wouldn’t have happened under my watch!

[Opinion Owner]

The military lifestyle is very hard, especially for their partners, usually women. She’s going to struggle, basically a single mom as he won’t be around for however long till he gets out. Assuming he’s going to stay around after he gets out. Regardless of his mom getting them a room, it would have happened either way. You can’t be there all the time to watch her. Is he helping her financially? Meaning stuff in preparation for the baby? He should be able to get extra mo ey for having a dependent once the baby is born.

[Anonymous]

What does the boyfriend want? Maybe have your daughter talk to him and his family, let them know she isn't wanting to get married right now and that she would prefer to continue living at home with you and her dad, especially since he won't be around and she will be more dependent on you both than she will be of his family.

[Anonymous]

she will, and is on the path of, becoming a single mother. that is awful that he cheated on her before. she should have left him then. she's too young for all of this... i'd say take her and try your best. i wouldn't want anything to do with the dude's family.

[Asker]

I agree and I’m trying to be supportive. She knows my stance on cheating. She has to learn on her own unfortunately. I will love and support her each step of the way through this.

[RoseySarah]

Really they have them in mind being a marine he can't decide where or when he can be places unless he is married

Also your right they don't care what she thinks or wants no inlaws do! They want the baby not her!

[Luckycharms12]

Listen to your daughter

[Luckycharms12]

Forgot about his parents telling them what to do

[Asker]

Exactly! My daughter knows what she wants and she has told him she wants to do what makes her comfortable and that he needs to handle his parents.

[Asker]

So turns out his parents are upset she wants to continue living at home. He won’t even be here! He’s going on deployment. So their solution is when he gets back they live here for 6 months and then their house for 6 months so everyone gets equal time with the baby. Ummm no, my daughter would like to remain here until she’s ready and then would like to live on their own. His parents live 5 minutes away from us! I don’t think they are taking the baby’s well being into consideration. The baby needs to be in a stable environment and they are free to visit whenever they like! Sounds like they have jealousy issues and honestly I don’t care about equal time. Seems selfish. My daughter told him no IF we end up getting married we will stay here if we cannot get our own place and when we can then we will move into our own place not your parents.

[Luckycharms12]

If they live that close see the child loads. No reason to move that and she doesn't want to

[purplepoppy]

Abortion? But end of the day it's her choice.

[Asker]

I’m not sure why you would think that’s an option but killing a baby is never an option! I urge you to see how an abortion is performed. Maybe watch a video of it being done and then make a comment like that. If you still agree with abortion then I feel sorry for you. There is no my body my choice when it comes to babies. Argue if you want but I will stand my ground on this. It’s a sick thing to say. Educate yourself on who is the creator of life and who is the taker. It sure as hell isn’t up to us to decide. Sad. Very sad.