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Poll Result
Voted 70 times in total
I think if your parents have your best interests at heart and pick you a good partner it can work out.
Arranged marriages, because there is an increased social pressure to stay together.
Opinion
14Opinion
Love
A lot of arranged marriages are not real marriages in that the partners tolerate each other at best and if it wasn't for the family and cultural pressure they'd never be together after the first week. I've lived in many countries were arranged marriages exist. And it's comical to hear blubbering about logics when a lot of arranged marriages are done for the betterment of the father, no thought nor care about the daughter. If there were care for the daughter abuse, spousal cheating, etc wouldn't exist far more in arranged marriages than in any other form of marriage.
@Chthou95 most women initiate divorces because of the fact that men are as trustworthy as a slug. When I was trying online dating years ago the number of separated but not divorced men looking for the newest screw was disgusting and filthy. These dogs had so little respect for their wife and their children that they couldn't even wait for the divorce to be finalized.
@BlackBeauty90
sweetie, arraigned marriages last longer because they are based on practical reasons such as security, family, support instead of fickle feelings that can change over time.
people also have more of an incentive to work on problems when they know divorce is frowned upon.
on the other hand, in america there are broken families everywhere and you consider it to be a great thing
@BlackBeauty90
Sorry my comment offended u. But its the truth
@Chthou95
in vast majority of cases, the entire family needs to agree for the marriage agreement to settle.
because if everyone does not agree, there will be future in the family. Nobody wants problems within the family especially in marriage where we are talking about FOREVER stuck with this person
@nastyb When you're the leader, you make decisions that will be for the best. Leaders which in this case is the dad, doesn't need to get approval or an agreement from anyone. With that being said, because its your call and your say you also take responsibility for any bad outcomes because you had all the power to make the decisions and now you have to deal with your failure
@Chthou95
good leaders know that peace comes from picking a bride that everyone can agree upon. Stupid incompetent leaders will pick someone that his family hates so he will need to live with strife and problems in his family for the rest of his life.
Part of the reason why arraigned marriages work so well is because the parents know that picking bride with similar family values, a bride that will fit right in with the family is important to marital success.
@Chthou95 this thing is is Arrangements has nothing to do with the betterment of the spouses if that was the case then cheating would not be about 5 to 10 if not 50 times higher than in other marriages.
@nastyb yes exactly fits into the family so if the family is composed of a bunch of degenerates then they are going to pick a degenerate wife. Now if the husband is not a degenerate or is not an uneducated loser then he is not going to like the wife anymore than the family that he's probably left behind by moving to another country
@BlackBeauty90
if you live in a society where divorce is not frowned upon... you have no incentive to work on problems in a relationship. where as if you're in arraigned marriage where divorce is frowned upon, there is more of an incentive to work on things.
americans have a culture of where parents cannot get along. kids see their fathers once a month while they live with their mothers. I don't know how you still would say this is a good thing
@BlackBeauty90
Part of the reason why arraigned marriages last is because these families pick a wife that fits in with the rest of the family. When people are too different, they will not get along.
@nastyb Because others start so you have to get involved to protect your country and people. Its been this way for thousands of years. And if the implication is that woman would be better leaders, there's a matriarchy society has never lasted. Women are not meant to be in leadership positions because they are scared of confrontation. Most women in general try to avoid confrontation and usually dont do well with their backs against the wall. Men dont like confrontation either but they're willing to stand up against it and hold their ground. Most women aren't capable of that. Leaders face confrontation all the time
@nastyb Evil men like to start confrontation. Good men (which do exist by the way) i know its hard for your feminists beliefs to think that good men dont exist od that there's not a lot, but good men protect the countries and people. Sometimes you have no other choice but to get involved because the evil side won't stop. And again most women dont want to be leaders anyway. They would rather let a man lead and they follow. This includes leadership of a country
I say it depends on the marriage. My belief in free will and consent of the parties with respect to their fate and their own bodies comes above that (Atheist Irish American woman here, used to be married to a Nepali Hindu Brahmin man).:
At the end of the day, it's no one's business who you screw, marriage or not, except you and who you screw. I don't care how the marriage happens. Love marriages can last just as long as arranged.
That being said, perhaps those raised with arranged marriages may know something us raised with love marriages don't. There is something to be said for it. I just don't think it should happen that way necessarily.
Depends on the marriage.
Depends, as I said from the getco.
@Chthou95 - I'll assume you have never talked to anyone in an arranged marriage. Nor has any of the Americans saying it's made in the best choice.
A friend of my brother's is an engineer specialist. He makes over 200k / year. His parents have harassed him for 5 years trying to arrange a marriage with women. He's turned down every single one. Because the marriage is benefical to his family, where's he can't even stand being in these women's presence for 30 minutes.
In arranged marriage they stay together only because getting divorced is detrimental not just to the spouse but to their entire family. There's a number of uneducated Americans saying that an arranged marriage is made with best intentions in mind. Yes, for the family.
It is why cheating in arranged is MANY MANY times greater than a love marriage.
When marriages are bult on love, they dont last. Women initiate most divorces and its for a multitude of ressons. That includes boredom and not feeling the same way anymore. But you get rewarded with half my shit for breaking things off. Why should a man in the west get married based on love if statistcally the odds are stacked against me and by me im talking about men in general
@Chthou95 - well if you have such a self centered inconsiderate selfish mentality - so unappealing typical of poor me naraccist it's amusing - is it any surprise a woman wouldn't want to tarnish her life with your existence? A wedding is a partnership that means you are to be equals, etc. Men like you deserve to be divorced because you'd never be able to understand that or contribute successfully to a marriage beyond your wallet.
There no equal partnership in a relationship lol. Women in general expect their men to lead and make decisions without asking. They also expect the man to protect her which he should but that alone isn't an equal partnership. Someone will always be the leader and its usually the man. Men lead, women follow. And statistically if something is likely to happen, why would men take that chance? Whay benefit does a man get from a wife over a girlfriend? What's the difference?
In societies with arranged marriages it's very difficult to divorce their spouse, this is statistically much more stabilizing factor than arranged marriages. Of course is this just a fake stability that won't survive real equality.
Mutual love is unbreakable, but love isn't eternal and living just with memories from the past won't mend all gaps and cracks in a relationship.
It is clearly arranged marriages because they occur in societies where marriage is taken more seriously. I suspect if there are marital problems than it becomes a problem that both families get involved in to resolve. If either the husband or wife is unrealistic they probably are made realistic.
To me it seems, that love marriages is a choice whereas arranged marriages is not (e. g. it feels like a gun is put to your head if you dare to decline or divorce).
With holding on for life it's arranged marriage. Otherwise it's love marriage.
Not to mention the advantages wives get over being a girlfriend is that when leaving turns out to be the inevitable outcome they will make sure it's gonna be as painful as possible. Plus walking out with nice sums, assets and alimoney and the big wedding ceremony party making it the intoxicating instagram material they seek and more.
Ever wonder why grooms were dressed in black and brides in white? This is why.
Well it's not really a valid question. Arranged marriages can last just as long as proper healthy love marriages. It's not like they can't work you're just rolling the dice that you'll be with someone compatible enough.
Well no, there's a lot of convoluted factors like cultural differences that affect why marriages last in different places longer. There's even the fact that a lot of people get married for love, except the love needed is not actually there.
Another thing to note, if two people get married for love, the relationship would always be an identical situation if those same two people got married because the marriage was arranged (say like in a different universe for example). Like if they ended up divorcing, wouldn't matter if they married out of love or they were arranged to be married, that relationship would be the same. However if they were an arranged marriage, in a different universe where they had freedom to marry who they loved, they might not ever get into that marriage in the first place because they wouldn't have wanted to choose that person.
If you were looking at the actual thing being compared here, which is arranged versus love marriages, there's no difference in what causes them to last, because what causes them to last is entirely based on how compatible they are with each other, just in one they choose what they think is most compatible for themselves, and the other is a complete roll of the die.
One is based around logic, the other one is based around emotion. And on top of that, daddy is involved when it comes to arrange marriages and picking based on longevity. Marriages built around emotion don't last long and all you need to see that are the divorce statistics and the gender initiating them which so happens to be... You guessed it, women. When marriage is treated like a business (which it is), the marriage is better
Well one is based on logic and emotion yea. The other is just purely random, that's really not logical.
I know you really want it to be the way you're arguing, but it won't ever be that way, and everything I said prior stands; you didn't bother countering it, so I'll accept that as you agreeing with me.
One cannot be both logical and emotional. There's no such thing. Most marriages that end in the west are again based around emotion. Women are not smart when it comes to choosing a long term partner. So if the parents get involved, it'll last longer because they're looking at things statistically. Logic>emotion
Well being in a relationship with someone you choose and actually want to be with is just plain more logical. (And it's not up for debate, you just have to accept that unfortunately)
As for your random sexism, don't go around saying people are stupid if you cannot grasp simple concepts.
Another thing to note of why divorces happen in the west is because people can freely come to the conclusion "hey I'm not happy in my current situation, I'm going to leave it and change it" whereas in arranged marriages, people don't feel like they have that option and will stay in miserable situations.
Yeah and that's why single motherhood and marriages are at all high time high. Womwn choose men that aren't the best for logically. They think they're best in the moment based on emotion but look what happens later on. And i didn't say it was up to me. It's up to the parents who have that belief system to pick a suitable partner based on good statistics, not emotions. It will last longer. And sexism blah blah blah. Women are not smart when it comes to mate selection isn't sexist, its a fact. Look at the results. The results don't lie. And a lot of women are aware of the kind of men they're getting involved with and know the man isn't going to be long term success but go through with it anyway expecting different results. The definition of insanity is doing the same shit over and over expecting different results
Is the point of marriage just to last a long time? I thought it was more meaningful than that.
What?
Okay, so that is the main point of a marriage, just to last a long time? If that's your goal, then yes, approaching it like a business contract rather than a romantic relationship would definitely be better for you.
Who rewards their partner for breaking up with them? Why be in a relationship at all if you want them to break up with you?
Oh weird. I guess I don't live somewhere that's practiced, and glad I don't. I still don't want to get married for personal reasons though.
Without looking at Stats , I think arranged , mainly because generally speaking they come with conditions attached.
Well arranged marriage really only happens in cultures where divorce is almost impossible, so not really a fair comparison
The vast majority of arranged marriages would never happen in the first place, nevermind last, if it wasn’t for family and social coercion
Yeah, family forces it
You’re really latching onto a small piece of the picture
Men are incapable of feeling love, so love marriages aren’t even real.
Love marriages. Duh. People themselves pick for themselves. A no-brainer 🧠 (an obvious answer) 😀😏
Nowadays, none of these. I had arranged marriage thing going on and it didn't work out.
And even in Love marriage people love with open eyes. Love doesn't seem to be blind anymore 😔
Depends on the Era. These days it is arranged marriages as the ideas of what love and marriage are have been degraded in the west
It depends upon the culture, religion and country, in some countries arranged marriages are preferred and lost longer but in some, no concept of this type of marriage, so they have love marriages, which has lot of Cheating and divorces
India has arranged marriages and they have very low divorce rates.
Marriages between two virgins.
love marriages
Love marriage if it's a real marriage...
Statistically, arranged ones.
..,2nd
Arranged.
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