Which do you think makes more sense: love marriage or marriage of convenience?

Question

I'm curious about the intricate balance between love marriages and marriages of convenience. Love marriages are based on emotional connection and shared affection, which can lead to deep fulfillment. On the other hand, marriages of convenience often prioritize practicality and social factors. The choice between them depends on individual circumstances and values. While love marriages emphasize emotional satisfaction, marriages of convenience can provide stability or address cultural and societal expectations. Both have their merits and challenges, making it essential to consider personal priorities, cultural contexts, and long-term compatibility when making this significant life decision. What do you think about it ?

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

I’m all for love marriage.

If I wanted a nanny, I could hire one.
If I wanted a personal chef, I could hire one.
If I wanted a maid, I could hire one.
If I wanted an assistant, I could hire one.
If I wanted a sugar-baby, I could hire one.

Anything ‘practical’ can be solved with money and creating convenience can be solved with money as well.

But love transcends practicality, it’s deeper than that, it means so much more.

Marriage should have more significance than a legal contract — otherwise, it’s no more significant than a business transaction.

I say, make marriages meaningful or don’t have them at all.

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

When you are young, marriage is all about love. As you get older convenience because a bigger part of the equation. Because real love is so hard to find, and convenience is better than being alone. But for young people it's all about love, until they have loved and lost soooo much and soooo many times... that becomes less valuable to them because they have learned how to live without it.

I mean at my age of 47, I talk to lots of women and date the ones that are available and open to actually participating on some level in a relationship. Love is something I want, but I no longer need it.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I think a lot of marriages start out as convenient choices and grow into love choices over time. When people are young and healthy with nobody dying or getting sick, they marry for beauty and wealth and hair and clothes and intelligence, when somebody is old and too weak to take care of themselves, they stay married for love.

Bethany22 · Accepted Answer

Marriage of convenience makes more sense, as both parties have realistic expectations, and they work harder to keep the marriage going.

ohsheeT · Answer

Love marriage is a commitment it takes hard work and is well worth it when both people want to work for it

marriage of convenience is like having someonedown to the 7-Eleven and getting you a slurpee they might come back with what you asked for and it might be what you don't even like

Avicenna · Answer

Either might make sense depending on the circumstances

MrOracle · Answer

I disagree with your framing.

What I see in the vast majority of cases are marriages for infatuation (which is usually called "love", but is most often far more shallow and far more about fun and convenience), but sometimes see marriages that are treated for what they are: life-long business partnerships between people actually understand that LOVE, while it has many good and enjoyable aspects, is also going to include plenty of pain, sacrifice, and unhappiness along the way.

These are NOT "marriages of convenience" - when you have to make sacrifices for your partner or your kids/family, it's rarely convenient. When you have to work 12 hours a day 6 days a week for years at a time, that's not convenience. When you have to give up your vacation, or your vacation becomes a "stay-cation" because your spouse has student debt or the kid needs braces, that's not convenience. That's what REAL love is - ALONG with the romance and the sunsets and the nice things.

SOOOO many people today, men and women both, choose partners and get married purely for infatuation and convenience, without a single thought about long-term compromise and sacrifice - which is why the divorce rate is so high. Most people call these "love marriages" but they aren't - they're infatuation marriages and "I want to throw a big party and impress my friends" marriages.

JacobJordan · Answer

relationships and by extension marriages are typically 3 facets and for 1 of 3 reasons. those 3 facets are looks, intelligence, personality. the 3 reasons are Lust, Infatuation, Attraction.
to further break this down and to clarify some potential confusion majority of relationships can be categorized into those 3 reasons. and the facets are what typically determine which reason is utilized

Lust is purely sexual as such it is generally a purely looks based relationship. these fail the majority of the time.
Infatuation is a 50/50 on success as it is effectively an obsessive attraction allowing someone to ignore 1 of the 3 facets. looks, intelligence or personality. why 1? because a healthy relationship consists of all 3. infatuation can develop into attraction which is what gives it a 50/50 on success. it can also develop into lust causing it to fail.
Attraction is the one that generally has the highest level of success as attraction more often than not turns into love and brings about the deeper and broader emotional spectrum one sees in healthy relationships. it is more often than not represented by a fairly even spread of being attracted to someone's looks, intelligence and personality.

As such a marriage of convenience is typically very likely to fail as it is most often formed via either Lust or Infatuation. and it generally 1 sided. Marriages of Love nearly always started as Attraction and some as Infatuation. this doesn't mean there is a zero chance for a convenience marriage but the odds are much lower

Anonymous · Answer

I had an opportunity to get married for a mutually economic situation and not for love.

I seriously considered it (it was her idea) Although I wasn’t in love I did highly respect the girl. She’s a very hard worker and honest. I’m also not getting any younger.

But there were some huge risks involved. It really would have helped her more than me. But the biggest issue is I didn’t want to risk becoming an adulterer. She flat out said she didn’t care if I messed around with other girls. But paper marriage or not it’s still adultery to me. I have done a lot of bad things in my life but I am not a cheater. An adulterer would be a whole another level when it came to principle and my Christian beliefs.

I turned it down after seriously contemplating it for a few months. I was very tactful on why and told I really did seriously consider it (true) Haven’t heard from her sense. This is despite her earlier promise that we could “still be friends” if I said no. I knew that was complete bs the moment she said that but it still hurt anyway.

I understand why she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. But it was another sad reminder that women only care about men who can provide some sort of benefit for them. If men can’t provide any tangible benefit then they become quickly expendable and just a bad memory. Regardless of the scenario. Women don’t care about treating men right out of general principle unless there is something in it for them.

RavVid · Answer

You could see marriage as a union of families also. It used to be - a king would marry a daughter of another king as political union. Must have worked to some degree because they did it for a long time.

Pyshacks sees love as having nothing to do with it. The concept only came into play in early 1800's in women's mags of the day. Another case of women's mags buggaring it all up. :)

If you are contemplating you might be best looking at their employment history.

by the way. I take it you like koalas?

Anonymous · Answer

I tend to think men marry for love. Women more so what they can get out of the marriage, what benefits as far as how much money he makes, his lifestyle, etc. A lot of men see no benefit in marriage, for a man at least. As for women there’s plenty of benefits. I don’t believe there’s such a thing as unconditional love. Men as well as women have to meet certain standards for a person to even want to continue to see them. If those standards aren’t met then chances are they won’t select them as a partner.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Probably a controversial take but setting aside obvious cultural differences such as arranged marriages I think the two types are somewhat based on ages.

Would say more love / emotional marriages occur when we are younger (20-35) and looking to get married and build up a family of kids and careers.

The other types of marriage are more likely to occur 35+ when either people already have kids or have spent their youth on other things. These marriages may incorporate love and new children but often are also focused on money and companionship. Keeping in mind I’m sure economic class factors into marriage decisions.

Open to feedback as I understand people get married for many reasons

SoJust · Answer

Of course, it should be a love marriage, not a marriage of logic, because in logic you can immediately refuse a love marriage is better, so I also want to say that marriage is unimportant, you can also live in the same house with the person you love, you can have children

Singing_Hollow · Answer

Love and marriage is and should be the only option. We have created an excuse so we have have our cake and eat it. It is not called marriage if you are doing it for something other than love and respect, then its called using one another in a way where we can't be blamed or feel bad for what we are doing.

Horse-girl · Answer

Love definitely, what's the point in getting married otherwise. Surely if you're together purely for convenience then going through with a whole marriage is not very... well convenient. To me marriage is two people who love eachother promising their lives to eachother and staying together through thick and thin.

Constatine · Answer

Marriages out of love make more sence..

In the old days marriages in name of family or business or expending the kingdom was normal... Also the phrase... Don't worry dear you grow to love him.

Well in the end it could be... But it is a complex type of love... More like brother sister. in my opinion that is not a great base for marriages.. 😄

I guess also the reason women searching for love outside the arrangement.. And man hunting down other women..

molonski2 · Answer

If we are talking absolute straight logic ( although personally I have never had , the marriage of convenience makes vastly more sense , so called " love " is just really attraction and will fade , convenience does not work that way and there are some serious reasons to stay married..

Long term convenience makes far more sense.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

You left out the option of not getting married at all.

As you ponder about ''making sense'', this would be the preferable choice, unless it gives a tax paying advantage.

Nowadays, that is.

In all other cases ''marriage'' is just something 'you' fancy to do.

Nowadays, that is.

Samantha36 · Answer

Love and marriage. I nearly married my ex because of our children. That would have been wrong as I didn't love him. Now I'm in love with my boyfriend and can't wait to marry him

Anonymous · Answer

Both have their pros and cons, and what makes more sense varies from person to person. Some prioritize emotional connection and love in a marriage, while others may value practicality and stability. It's essential to consider what matters most to you and your partner and how those priorities align with your life goals and cultural context when making such a decision.

AimeeKyle · Answer

It really depends on your personal aspirations and what you want to get out of your marriage and the personality and goals of your person of interest.

For me I would rather have love, intimacy…but everyone has their own goals / what they want to get out of it (I. e. security, etc)

Guardian45 · Answer

I am from a Western country, but I lived 3 years in Japan, and was offered and almost accepted an 'arranged marriage'.

I had a 'love marriage' at home that ended in a divorce. Looking back, I think I might have been better off if I had accepted an 'arranged marriage'!

TheGuyYouCrave · Answer

Marriage is for the modern women what a part is.

Its just a day for her.

Women don't actually want to get married. They want the to lock down (imprison) the man's resources. Especially the desperate ones hitting the wall.

nastyb · Answer

love will change or fade. you may fall in and out of love within marriage. if you cannot weather the storm, don't get married. you will just find yourself divorced 20 years down the road.

_NightGuard_ · Answer

I think there is no such thing as a love marriage nowadays. People only prefer a marriage with good financial income and in which they can feel comfortable. That's why I call it a marriage of convenience.

kmg9150 · Answer

Neither. True love requires no paper document, no religious ideology, nothing deterring them from leaving.

katiesmuff · Answer

I don't see where anyone needs a marriage of convenience so the only marriage I want and have is out of love.

Jasmin01 · Answer

If I got married without love, I would feel like I had been bought - bad!

TomMarks · Answer

I personally wouldn’t want a marriage of convenience, cause sooner or later there will be problems or people hurt if they don’t genuinely love their partner.

OddBeMe · Answer

Ehh, I guess it depends on your stage of life. I married at 25 as a “love marriage”.

But if now at 39 ad I had kids, a marriage of convenience makes sense to me. As my marriage currently is convenient. But thankfully also loving.

ReverseCowboy · Answer

In the longrun definitely love! I married because I didn't pull out... I love my son but I couldn't stay with his mother. We have good terms and understanding still but I feel so much better now when I married for love.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

The premise is false. In reality, marriages based on love/compatibility are the only convenient marriages.

aceleon · Answer

marriage is not a sensible thing for me so i don't know.

EmmaMary · Answer

Definitely a  Marriage of Love .

m33ladEmjay · Answer

If I can marry them both at the same time. I will get married tonight.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Love first that marriage a marriage of convenience will never last cause what's convenient now may not be convenient later. Everything changes that's the one constant in life. Everything modifies everything deviates nothing stays the same.

sheenagwapa · Answer

love marriage of course... never underestimate the power of love. it can move mountqins

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Love marriage. At least it’s clear in the name. Marriage out of convenience means you have no options left

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Love is still very possible without marriage while convenience requires marriage so there for, marriage is more for the convenience. If it's true love, then marriage won't matter.

Raaj4you · Answer

Neither of them guarantees successful married life. You both should make it work together. I have seen both failed arranged and love marriages.

CoolCatMar1 · Answer

Love marriage it's the best and tends to last more.

sheikalana · Answer

Convenience marriage. Love is not enough to keep a marriage/relationship.

exitseven · Answer

Marriage of love. If you marry for convenience, eventually it becomes inconvenient.

Mangospacho · Answer

This is a trick question because a marriage based on true love IS also a marriage of convenience

Crankor · Answer

There's no convenience in a marriage. It's just a title. If you don't love the person then why would you waste your time?

LiamJHayden · Answer

Love if that love is actually a commitment and not just long term infatuation. A marriage of convenience sounds stupid to me.

Anonymous · Answer

mariage of convenience. I'm lazy and don't want to work so I would get any guy ok with me being a housewife.

Alex-Snow · Answer

I'd have to go with the love part of marriage anyday

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Through out most of human history marriages were arranged and believe it or not that actualy worked put for the best throughout himan history.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

Love marriage…

HippieVeganJewslim · Answer

What kind of marriage is it if it ain’t a love marriage?

fuddly · Answer

There are other reasons people marry Respectability Money Makes sense Good "genes"/children Pregnant!

Anonymous · Answer

marriage of convenience. I think it lasts longer than love. interests last longer than some fleeting heated emotion

msc545 · Answer

Neither makes sense in the US. Marriage is a huge risk for men here.

Guido · Answer

Love marriage. I wouldn't marry for any other reason.

ItsMykolaJenkins · Answer

Love is bullshit ok So better go for money

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on how old you are, if you have kids, and your financial situation...

Anonymous · Answer

love for marriage doesn't exist. take away all the qualities that attracted the couple to each other to begin with and that love is gone

whirled_up_girl · Answer

Love marriage

Nikki1989 · Answer

It should be about the love.

Evelump · Answer

Definitely love. What’s the point if not?

Simslover92 · Answer

I think love marriage makes more sense.

elizamichale1 · Answer

Love marriages ofcourse

love_conquers_lust · Answer

Love marriages are the most convenient

Which do you think makes more sense: love marriage or marriage of convenience?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Which do you think makes more sense: love marriage or marriage of convenience?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.