I want to get married, but my parents say no until I finish my degree. What do I do?

Question

I’m 25 years old  They mostly make all my decisions

Peter_Penetrator · Accepted Answer

Finish your degree. Never give up something important for someone unless you have been in a longtime, committed relationship.

If you and your S/O end things, you will kick yourself for giving up you're education for them. After the breakup, you will find it much more difficult to pick up where you left off. Especially if you are raising a child and/or working full time.

Parents know many of the pitfalls in life. They have seen things in life you have yet to.

Definitely don’t give up your education because you think being married to a man will allow you to go through life uneducated. Don’t depend on a man to take care of you. You must have the tools in life to support yourself and your children independently.

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

Well if you are financially dependent on them then they unfortunately have some weight on your decisions. Doesn’t make it right or wrong but it’s how it is.

But if you are completely on your own that’s a different story. It’s psychological and you are a grown woman. Some parents have a hard time understanding there kids while still there kids are now grown adults. Kids getting treated this way don’t always understand it.

Anyway how much further do you have to go? If its less then 2 years they have a good point. But if its longer than that it’s different.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

you're only 25, no need to get married quite yet, regardless of what social media tells you.

what i'm more concerned about, and you should be too, is that your parents make all of your decisions for you. how are you supposed to be a wife if your parents make your decisions for you? how are you supposed to be an adult? how are you supposed to survive on your own? be more concerned about that rather than getting married at 25...

wolfcat87 · Accepted Answer

If your parents are paying for everything, then proceed at your own peril. You don't sound independent enough to get married at this point. Maybe work on that first and then get married.

CalmUntilAbused · Answer

Now... For how long do You know the man You want to marry?

If it's:

Less than 1 year - it's clearly too soon for a marriage, the potential repercussions of a decision like this, if it proves to be wrong, might be catastrophic, and it's not like You can be sure to escape unharmed
1 - 2 years - still too soon, but I guess it's not a dangerously shallow desicion anymore
2 - 3 years - almost there, it's possible that You've got Your confidence with each other, but waiting a little bit longer might be beneficial
3 - 4 years - at this point You might choose to disregard Your parents' opinion, but please bear in mind they will always know the world better than You, especially outside of the technological advancements. Some things never truly change
More than 4 years - I mean, what's the matter? You're already almost a married couple, except one aspect... Oh, who am I kidding, it would be kind of otherworldly wholesome if You never got tempted throughout all this time. Anyway, You are absolutely free to choose Your own decision at this point. It might not be the most-informed one available, but time is surprisingly scarce, You know?

OK, so it was humorous, but I guess it kind of shows the possible reservations of Your parents and the extent of their importance over time

yakumo · Answer

You're an adult so do not need anyone's permission. However, if possible it is probably best to keep a good relationship with your family. How many more years until you finish your degree? What about getting engaged and scheduling it just after graduation?

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Oh God I feel sorry for you the Lord blessedyour heart. Your an adult you dont needs parents permission at the end of the day they will care less if you have food on your tables or the cash to pay forbyour bills. My parents didn't gove a crap when I was 17 that is another story. Anyway ifnyou live alone you need to cut them off.

JacobJordan · Answer

you are an adult you are free to make your own choices. if it helps college educated women tend to get divorced more often than those who did not go to college. in addition marrying mid to late 20s tends to result in a happier and healthier marriage with a reduced risk of divorce. please note that this is not a blanket statement but information that comes from heavy heavy research and is not necessarily a 100% chance good or bad.

HaveNoName · Answer

You are definitely from the Eastern culture. Dont listen to this crap majority Westerners will tell you about "you are an adult" etc.

Parents always know and want the best for their kids. Again, not always true in Western culture. Do you want to get married because you want to get married or you have a love interest?

madhatters4 · Answer

you should probably wait til you are out of school. can't hurt to wait. it also means you can focus on your degree and studies. especially if they are going to pay for the wedding you probably should heed their advice

Saiesh30 · Answer

You can't do anything basically since you're mentioning they take your decisions and they want you to complete your degree first. Least you could do is bring the idea of marriage in your conversations with them that should make them think otherwise.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

firstly, if they control all your decisions? time to move out. BUT. yeah. focus on your education and job prospects first. you'll need them whether married or not.

The-Stud · Answer

Well you are 25, above legal age I guess.. so it's up to you at the end of the day

DextroShade · Answer

You are an adult so they have no say, it is better for you to marry than get a useless degree anyway because college is a scam for the most part.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

If a guy loves you, he'll wait until after your college graduation.

Unit1 · Answer

And why do your parents make all your decisions?

Anonymous · Answer

There really shouldn't be any rush. Hold off on marriage and keep the peace in the family.

Staximus · Answer

Maybe it's time to move out of your parents house, live your own life

ThebestIndian · Answer

I am guessing you are from India.  So. Mostly, Indian parents are right. If you wanna argue, DM me. I will give you many instances

LiamJHayden · Answer

Are they insanely wealthy and threatening to disinherit you?

dudeinohio · Answer

You are an adult. They legally have no control over you.

Abdulwahh · Answer

I assume you a Christian as long as the man works and can provide it will be safe to get married to protect from adultery.

BLP11520 · Answer

Well getting married is good. They think you may not get your degree which is a possibility.

Anonymous · Answer

Why tf are your parents making your decisions for you at 25? What degree are you doing?

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Do you have a man you love proposing?

WheelerOfSeeds1 · Answer

It’s not their decision

jahaims · Answer

Make your own decisions.

MaxUsefull · Answer

25? Common girl

Anonymous · Answer

You're an adult, do whatever you want.

Radiate143 · Answer

Get married.

Anonymous · Answer

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I want to get married, but my parents say no until I finish my degree. What do I do?

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I want to get married, but my parents say no until I finish my degree. What do I do?

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I expressed my interest of getting married soon with someone with my parents. They denied it. What should I do?

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