Is it fair that I the woman have to sit down and do all the costing for our wedding?

Question

He provided all the money. Then we only sat down to pick clothes styles, colors and food. Now I'm saddled with costing those things as he's busy. When I complained he said all I have to do is go online, see costs and note them beside the items we wrote out and I should count myself lucky I don't have to spend a dime and he would still provide input but I should be doing something pending when he's free. I feel slighted.

loveslongnails · Accepted Answer

Consider that he's already given you input on the things he cares about (style, colors, food), he's done with anything he can be helpful with. You should be glad, because if he sits there costing out EVERYTHING with you, he'll probably start finding things he thinks are wasteful or doesn't want. Do you really want to hear "why do we need this?", "why are we spending money on that?, or "I don't want this or that".

If your wedding is "saddling you" with too much work, perhaps you should simplify your wedding.

JacobJordan · Accepted Answer

he is paying for all of it so yeah it is more than fair. if you want to catch an attitude I want you to remember something. YOU may have an issue with that I can promise you another woman would love to be in your position and if you keep that attitude another woman WILL be in your position only she'll be thrilled

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Yes. Men don't actually care about the ceremony. That's all for you. Priest/rabbi/imam/jedi says "you and you, yep, good to go" and that's all a man needs. You want fancy linen and centerpieces and all that stuff, that's on you. Be thankful he's paying.

Hulk30 · Answer

ya gotta look at it from his point of view now im actually engaged to Jenny Mccarthy and i can for damn sure tell ya that we're not doin an expensive weddin even havin rings none of that is in reality relevant to gettin legally married everyone has a right to do things how they want but if he's providin for and spendin money on you there's really not alotta wiggle room ya got to dictate how he does so in a traditional relationship as this seems to be if men are providin for you then they should have ultimate control over things generally unless you provide for yourself then if he's providin for you then as long as he's not actually abusin you in anyway why ya can't do simple things that he ask ya to do

Andres77 · Answer

Great start to your relationship.

he earned all the money. Guys think all the hooplah about the ceremony is a waste but girls wanna feel like a princess, spending the guys money, so we cater to your fantasies, dreading what we’re getting into because “is she going to want to spend like this for the whole marriage?”

you’re digging your own grave. He gave you how much? You feel slighted? He should just run now. Just, wow..

NathanDavis · Answer

you could hire a wedding planner...  a lot of people with this issue, do that... and he'll pay for it too

Nikki1989 · Answer

Weddings don't have to cost much. Our wedding cost maybe $200 and most of that was for food and drink.

Anonymous · Answer

As much as you’d like him to be a part of planning it, men aren’t really interested in this. He would be just as happy at the courts as he would w what you’re planning. The wedding isn’t about him, it’s about you. I know that doesn’t make sense cause you two are getting married, but it’s usually the women who look forward to being the center of attention, not the men.

slatyb · Answer

What's he busy doing? Making the money to pay for it all! So he's paying for it all and you can't be bothered to do some shopping? I don't see a great future for this marriage. Feels more like a business relationship.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Yes, it's extremely unfair. I suggest that YOU contribute 50% of the costs, so that he can work less and has time to sit with you and do the costing.

RedInnocent68 · Answer

Yeah, I expect most guys aren’t really into the whole wedding planning thing. If he’s happy bankrolling you, just do what you want.

HighValue · Answer

If he is paying for everything and you are complaining, you ate going to be a bad and unfair partner. If that is how you truly feel, you should end the relationship now.

Anonymous · Answer

ah i see how that marriage will go. he obviously doesn't care enough to be involved with you, planning. which, in my opinion, is a red flag. but hey... you'll still marry him anyways.

msc545 · Answer

Don't get married. No guy is bad enough to deserve you.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Think of all of the time it took for him to earn the money that is being spent.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Yes, but only because, and I quote:  "He provided all the money."

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

GUYS DON'T ARE ABOUT PLANNING WEDDINGS

spartan55 · Answer

Unbelievable. I feel sorry for your fiance.

RavVid · Answer

I'm on his side. He's out earning to pay for it.

Jennz6 · Answer

It’s the traditional way

Anonymous · Answer

is it fair that he has to pay everything?

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Idiot.

Joker_ · Answer

fair

Is it fair that I the woman have to sit down and do all the costing for our wedding?

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