
Do you think a couple should be married before they have children or is that an antiquated way of thinking?

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I absolutely believe that people should be married before having children.
Children born out of wedlock used to be called bastards. I think that was unfair to children because they had no control. Instead, there should be derogatory names for people who have children out of wedlock. Those people should be stigmatized.
People who use the terms "baby-daddy" or "baby-mama" to describe the casual sex partner who contributed to bringing forth an illegitimate child are generally low IQ, low status and irresponsible. Mothers often wind up leeching off of someone or society.
I'm for having all the sex you want, but children deserve to have positive male and female role models.
That isn't to say that some families aren't dysfunctional or that something can't happen to a spouse. Some single parents to a good job of raising well rounded children. But the baby-mama and baby-daddy thing makes me sick. It's ghetto. It's the opposite of cultural evolution.
I think the whole original point of marriage was to have kids. But that was a different time. Kids used to make your life easier, they made you money instead of cost you money. Sex was second to real-world issues. You could always just take your sexual frustrations out on hookers. Women hate hookers because it helps men out of needing them around.

Definitely! Without that bond it makes it too easy for one to bail out when things get rough or tough. You can do that too if you are married, but then there are legal aspects such as alimony and child support. And of course the splitting up of possessions, so it gives you less incentive to get divorced. My opinion is that lots of people plan to get married after they have children, but too often they haven't even after 10 years. How would a child feel when someone called him a bastard? Shacking up introduces a stigma for children, that their parents didn't love each other to get married and sometimes question whether they are loved. Marriage requires commitment, compromise, and security. Without them you have nothing.
I personally think it is better if children are born to a married couple in a stable environment, but if that isn’t the case that is okay too especially if the couple stays together, they’re happy, and the environment is stable. You can have that through marriage or not. Obviously if the parents are unhappy, the relationship isn’t working, and divorce is the best option there is that too. My parents had me out of wedlock and stayed together because of me and my brother. I don’t think them being married would have made a difference and both me and my brother would have been happier if they split versus staying together for us. There is no one shoe fits all solution for when it comes to relationships and children
Opinion
32Opinion
I think the couple should be married. If they aren't willing to get married, to me that strongly suggests that they are afraid to assume a lifelong commitment. Every child deserves to be raised in a home with both a mother (born female) and father (born male) and not giving that to a child represents selfishness on the part of the parents.
Children definitely need to be born to a married couple. A couple who won't even commit to each other definitely doesn't need to be reproducing. That's why we have so many poor little bastard children who are failing to thrive at life these days, because people just have sex with whoever their genitals tell them to and think that everything will work out.
oh really? what about the parents who decide to divorce each other after the children are born?
PS: they say that in America alone half of all children will witness the ending of a parent’s marriage
Nice! attacking the messanger and not the message... a sign of being butthurt from self defeat
till then just to let you know my statement is based on facts, wasn't trying to bruise up your ego.
"leave the marrying to the high quality people it was meant for, we only have a 4% divorce rate."
yeah I will more than gladly do that. they say "marriage is insanity" for a reason and I think its pretty insane and narcissistic enough to believe that someone is consider themselves "high quality people." that sounds like someone I dont even want to be in a relationship with
Yes. Absolutely. Children deserve to be born into the stability of a legally binding marriage as the secure foundation of their family structure. Plus, marriage is not ‘simply a piece of paper’ but rather invokes certain legal privileges and protections. Among them, and most importantly, the right to make medical, legal, and financial decisions together. This is why the LGBT community fought so hard for the right to be married - it’s more than just symbolic.
No , I don't believe it makes any difference at all , what is outdated is the entire concept of marriage , what the child needs is a mother/ father and stability , this is not provided by a piece of paper , the child needs the love of its parents , to be encouraged and nurtured , educated , none of this has the slightest thing to do with marriage.
However , having all of the above should always be the goal and few will be able to achieve same.
i think kids after marriage as there is a commitment then. I have had too many bfs leave me.. if i had his kid, he could still say "fuck it" and leave. with no responsibility.
and for the kids, to know they were born in marriage is important to me.
i had a daughter out of wedlock.. luckily, her dad has her and she has his last name.
I think the ideal chronological order is definitely to be married then have kids as it usually entails a higher level of commitment and duty, and hopefully a higher chance to remain together while your kids grow up.
But marriage is a human made concept and at the start of time, there was no such thing as marriage. People were able to live just find while having kids and not having the title of being married.
It's not absolutely necessary, but is definitely ideal.
Ask it from the point-of-view of the children.
Do they wanna grow up in an environment where there "might" be a little chance that their parents will stay together, or do the kid want to grow up in an environment where the parents have nothing binding them to each other?
But hey, we live in a world nowadays that it's just "the majority" decides together what they think could be right and then they just define it as right.
Absolutely. For Children to grow up nice and healthy, they need a stable loving home.. Marriage worked because it was the most likely way to insure that, but also because it was seen as two becoming one and children was the result of two people really loving each other.
Yes, babies born into a stable two parent home are much more likely to succeed in life. I think a lot of why we are so screwed up is the attack on the nuclear family by liberals.
Yes you have key point, children should be brought up in a stable home. But marraige doesn't mean stable parents either. Plenty of children have been brought up by evil parents who were married. Serial killer were married and had children,. marriage doesn't guarantee anything. Its a contract between two people, and that contract can be broken at time, if either party wish to do so.
I agree, but your parents did the right thing, by getting a divorce, if they did not get on or whatever the reason. Its better parents get a divorce, than for a child to live in a abusive household, were parents are arguing and fighting all the time.
Its understandable a divorce would affect you or any child, but us kids need to understand, sometimes parent just don't get on after a period of time. Also parents don't have all the answers, and are humans just like us.
I think I read or watched a movie, I quite can't remember but it mainly talked about major outfits
So the idea of having children before marriage isn't my idea but if things happened then its perfectly fine
Definitely. The more stability children have in their home the better their chances of happy, healthy and successful lives. Having the most successful family unit means having both a mother and a father raising the children and having a safe, stable home to live in. Marriage is one of the stabilizing commitments that contributes to the overall stability of the family unit which has been the building block of a strong society and survival of the human species for millions of years.
I don’t think it’s antiquated I just think if we are someone who wants to see a decrease in abortions we have to change our attitude about unmarried parents and single moms. Even reliable birth control can fail and waiting till marriage for sex is becoming more rare.
I wouldn't say "antiquated"
more like "slavery mentality." having children is a biological need, marrying those you have children with its not. is no different than eating and dieting, when you are hungry you eat whatever you want or have available at the moment because its how you quench your hunger. eating healthy in the other hand is a decision you make, whether it benefits you or not; something marriage does not guaranteed
@Minahh you invaded my op, accused me of "spreading misinformation" and told me to "shut up" again under my post because supposedly from your point of view being a biology student gives you some sort of badge of authority yet I'm the one assaulting you? I think I'm the one who is supposed to be asking you if you're okay
Yes. Only Because marriage isn’t what it traditionally was, it doesn’t stand for the same things.
Marriage is about a bond sworn between two people, their God, and their family. It is a Oath to the death.
Modern marriage isn’t that.
I think couples should get married when both partners want it. Forcing someone to do something this person doesn't agree with, doesn't make any sense
Ι think a couple should do whatever they deem to be right for them.
They absolutely should because children born to unwed mothers have worse outcomes in every way they can measure: they are much more likely to get addicted to drugs, go to prison, get into sex work, commit suicide, or end up homeless.
yes i think couples should be married before children. children born out of wedlock is actually very bad for their developmental ages.
That’s my philosophy. I don’t care what year it is nor what everyone else is doing. I will not be having children with a man who is not my husband. Period.
Tbh, yeah. I’m usually like “it’s just a piece of paper.” And it is. But when children are involved stats say married parents are usually better. But happy parents, whether together or separate, are infinitely best.
They should get married before they have children.
Yes it helps to keep people from ending up as single parents.
Yes because children need a mom and a dad. But also don't rush into marriage just to have kids faster.
they should be married if they are commited enough to have a kid together.
I do just in the sense of learning what your life will be like in a real commited relationship. The big thing to discuss is how or what both of your priorities will be when you have kids
yes, because in many cases they get married just because she got pregnant and then the couple turns bad
I believe they should be. Especially since legally he has no rights to his child if they aren't married..
This may be true some places but not in the United States. Parental rights are a right recognized totally independent of marriage.
Lol dude I live in the Midwest.. Unless you're married, paternity must be established BEFORE he has any parental rights.
www.findlaw.com/.../...-and-unmarried-fathers.html
Read the second paragraph...
Better yet I will paste it here
First Step: Establish Paternity
Fathers who were not married when their child was born must legally establish paternity before a family court will grant them father's rights. Paternity represents a finding that you are the legal father of the child.
Often, this means unmarried parents signing and filing a voluntary acknowledgment of paternity affidavit with the appropriate state agency or court. This can occur at the time of the child's birth or afterward.
If said father does not establish paternity he does NOT get parental rights.
I don't believe so. But then I have have 2 kids wuth my fiancé. No date set for wedding
As long as there is a ring on my finger whether it's engagement or wedding ring, I am fine with having kids either way. But without the ring, nope.
Antiquated? There is an epidemic of fatheress children today, and the consquences have been devistating to society. They primary reason for it is children born out of wedlock.
It's not fair for kids to be called bastards. And abortion is not the solution either.
It doesn't matter in this modern world. But if you believe in marriage and want to get married then you should get pregnant after the wedding.
Yes but even that doesn't secure that the child will grow up in a harmonious home
I think that it is best to wait until you are married before having kids.
Yeah couples should be married before they have children
Yes because both decided to comity for life not just a season
No I don't think it matters
Yes they should be
Couples should do whatever they think is best
to me it doesn't matter
Doesn't make a difference
Marry before your carry.
antiquated EASILY
Antiquated.
Yes. I believe that.
Yes they should be.
Duh; of course.
Before.. come on now
There few around
ı think should be
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