Do you believe couples should live together before marriage?

Question

msc545 · Accepted Answer

I think it's better than a man does not marry at all. However some men seem hell-bent on doing exactly that so if they're going to do it it's better that they live with the woman they intend to marry to find out if the two of them are compatible before getting into a marriage which very likely will end in a divorce. Divorces are a disaster for men because of bias in the courts men lose their children their property their money their jobs and frequently their lives. If they don't lose their lives they're often condemned to 18 or more years of paying child support to a woman who let them see their children in a very begrudging way or frequently not at all. There's absolutely no upside to marriage for men it is a terrible terrible idea. I am very glad to see that more and more men are refusing to get married because they recognize the incredible legal social and psychological risks associated with entering into a contract with someone who probably doesn't have their best interests at heart.

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

ideally, yes...   informed decisions are better decisions, lol... but, it is not always necessary... the right people so the right couple will always be able to figure things out for the best, and they will make it work no matter what the one risk would be if the people involved are TERRIBLE matches when it comes to the living situation, or they have terrible habits or, if they are not really that good at living and sharing with someone in the first place and that is something that would NOT want to find out after you're married and allegedly stuck for life with them, lol but it is also true that you can find out about these things as well, early on... without the need of actually living together 24/7 so... people should live together before marriage only if they talk about it first and think it through, if they decide it is for the best and for them, then so be it... and if not, if they not deem it necessary then that's their risk to take

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

No. No. No. no.
If I wanted to sabotage my romantic life like that I’d do it. BUT NO.
I’d rather go on a long road trip or trip somewhere and spend a week with them to see what’s up. if it’s a foreign country, ohh my god you’re going to find out whether or not you can rely on each other to ask for help with things, who will be talk to who (asking someone for help and directions) who takes charge etc. There’s a lot to it. Safest option. I’d also find it mentally draining to live with my s/o for a whole year, like knowing myself if I’m going through something and I want to be alone, trust me im not going to want to go home and have to face him asking me what’s wrong.. im the type to be alone and take time to process my emotions, even though it can be workable (like me leaving for a moment somewhere while he’s at home) I’d still rather not risk it.

Kori1236 · Accepted Answer

Yes. If I’m intending on marrying this person I want to see what our combined space would look like. I want to see his mess and him to see my mess. If we’re really compatible with eachother the mess won’t be a big deal. Now I am a relatively clean person, I do a top to bottom clean of the house once a week and daily chores like cleaning the kitchen/dishes and running the roomba.

Bethany22 · Answer

No. The closest thing is if you go on a trip together, whereby you get to see how well you get along when you're jet legged, the living conditions aren't up to your standards, etc. Living together takes the romance out of it sometimes, and the one that doesn't want to get married uses it as an excuse that nothing would change much after they get married

Guy13 · Answer

No I think has negative effects on lasting or potential marriage

Summeroflove · Answer

Depends on the relationship. As long as they aren't having sex and this is right for them then it is fine. For some it would never work.

Lalarousse · Answer

Yes ! Definitely !

it’s only when you live with the person that you actually really start to KNOW them. It’s really a test before getting married.
I would recommend anybody to live together for at least 1 year before getting hitched.

UniquelyBasic · Answer

Yes. And I dont see any reason why you wouldn't. You need to see if you can live with this person you're thinking of marrying. You have to see if you can stand them on yours and her worst days even when forced to be around eachother. That way you get to see the real version of them.

Blackcupcake · Answer

yes and no, it all depends on the couple and their plans. I personally don’t value marriage much because I don’t think you need to be married to commit to someone “forever” so I would want to live with my significant other as soon as we decide we’re ready for that step.

petitedollbabee · Answer

Marriage supposedly means spending the rest of your life with your husband or wife. So why wouldn’t you want to live with them before marriage? You can’t truly see what someone is like until you’re around them everyday in your own shared space. That way you can see if you’re truly compatible. You’d be living together when you’re married anyway, and if you don’t live together until then, it would be too late if you find that you’re not compatible.

purplepoppy · Answer

Absolutely, it'll expose both of your faults and whether or not they'll be tolerated. You need to see their negative traits not just their dating face.

Anonymous · Answer

No. I'm not saying that living with your husband or wife won't be an eye opener at all after you marry them. But if you PROPERLY did the work and vetted them like you're supposed to and not just foolishly chased feelings. If you really LOVE them and not just what they bring to your life. Essentially if you married for the right reasons then you don't need to live with them first.

I have 4 siblings. All got married then move in with thier spouses. They have 4 kids, 1 of the kids married and moved in with thier spouse and have been happily married for 17 years. The other 3 moved in with thier SO. None of them are married. One has produced a child. And none of the 3 are in happy stable relationships. I don't think this is a coincidence. Marriage before living together is a sign of maturity, commitment and faith.

LovingJo · Answer

I would never get married to anyone without first seeing how compatible we were in close quarters, for a large portion of the day/week/time. I think it would be very irresponsible, but that's just me. 😊

Ticklishone · Answer

Even tho I truly believe in the sanctity of marriage, I do now believe in test runs! So many things to find out about each other once you cross over into intimacy, even more. It is very difficult to communicate exactly what you both want and I think you should make sure that is compatible too! I am a prime example w/my second ex. We got married first. after 4 years he said adios! We just didn't quite mesh. I won't ever marry again or even live w/one!

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

No requirement needed! Granted..

Vesuvius87 · Answer

Personally I've never done it and would never do it. I don't want to live with a boyfriend. Then the man might get too comfortable and like things the way they are without commitment.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

I don’t believe in marriage in its current state. If people insist on forming their own personal hells, living together is a fine idea. Ell oh ell!

DJB72 · Answer

Couples who live together before marriage have a statistically higher likelihood of divorce than ones who don't.

The message not marrying someone but living with then sends is that they'll do unless someone better comes along. That unrecognised stress increases the likelihood of splitting up dramatically.

Sparkie460 · Answer

It's not imperative that you live together. I know some people are totally against it. It just helps to see how well you get along with each other when you live together. My wife and I lived together for 3 years before we got married.

melanieeeB · Answer

Definitely!!! Most people jump into marriage way to fast, you should definitely get to know someone better before making a big decision like marriage

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I have already answered this previously, so I would like to refer people to my answer to the other question.

(If anyone can help me remember who it was that asked the question, I would be much obliged.)

mobiusforniner · Answer

Married nearly 10 years. Had no clue what it was like to live with another person. Weve made it work. So, evidently not.

Anonymous · Answer

That old trick. I did this to my cousin who lost her phone and needed a ride home after a party. Drove her up to the middle of the forest which was pitch black and whipped my dick out, told her if she didn't want to walk she would have to suck it. She bitched and moaned about but she still did it, bitched and moaned about it on the way home too.

Funny thing is whenever she goes to a party or a club and needs a ride to or from she calls me knowing she will have to suck or f*ck.

Tom_Wray_04 · Answer

I think it is important to get a peak at what someone is really like before you commit to a lifelong relationship, so yes I do think it is important to live together first.

legalboxers · Answer

think of it as a "try before you by" a trial sample. If you dont like it. .. :)

Faithfully · Answer

Absolutely. Imagine investing in a wedding and a future together just to find out you can't tolerate each other's day to day lifestyle

Anonymous · Answer

I think it's important that you know what you're getting into before marriage. If you can see the real person behind the facade without living together, fine. But living together is a good way to find this out.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yes, I do believe they should live together to see how things turn out before actually tieing the knot.

Wish4UrB00ty · Answer

I just wouldn’t want to… like if I want to live together I’m gonna just marry her.

FreyaRed · Answer

A

At least two years. Two years is usual time when the honeymoon phase ends and first character compatibility problems have the be resolved. If relationship doesn't dies due this troublesome time, is marriage an option.

Immie85 · Answer

It’s not vital. My best friend has a very strong religious conviction so for her it was just the way her and hubby did things and they are still together 12 years later, where as I’ve had 3 broken relationships with guys I’ve lived with.

Minahh · Answer

I'd say no. Like to get together on longer holidays and stuff is fine. But not living together. Either of them could be an abusive person and then it's a fucking problem.

Jen_27 · Answer

As a kid who has family issues all the time is yes. Their kids don't need to feel stressed about family. If they choose right one for each other.

Likes2drive · Answer

It’s not really necessary but they should go on vacation with each other for at least a week to see if they can deal with each other in that situation

genericname85 · Answer

i think that would reduce the chance of having a failed marriage dramatically.

Kebler · Answer

I do think they should live with each other, or at least visit each other, i think you should get used to being around your partner before you get married.

TrueConfection · Answer

I think people should do what's best for them. Personally, my husband and I got married before living together. I'm proud to be able to tellmy children that Mommy and Daddy were married first.

Psychotic_Buddhist · Answer

I'd say yes, at least for a year so that if they want to get married they already have a template to go off of and know what it entails with their partner, equating to a lessened chance of divorce

Havthrills · Answer

I don't think so. I lived with a girlfriend for 4 years. When things went bad and it was time to split, I had no where to go. Once the relationship is over, how can one move out when there is no place to go that you can afford?

BJP21 · Answer

Better know now if your SO lives like a slob.

menina · Answer

Yes, I do. It's a good way of seeing if you're compatible, if you can communicate and if you can share a space.

Fireguy17 · Answer

If we, my ex-wife and I had done that we might still be together, or not. Neither one of us had ever been out on our own so I don't think it could have hurt to do that.

DrAdams · Answer

It depends on the circumstances, but if possible I definitely would recommend it.

sofia_12 · Answer

ofc it would be nice to live someone u love but i don't think it should be before marriage. u don't get much value..

soe11 · Answer

According to me it is a vital element. Married is pice of paper nothing more than that. Trusty and loyalty essential part.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I think I would want to live together first.

WhitneySnow · Answer

They can if they want but they shouldn’t have to

Guardian45 · Answer

I think testing the waters is ALWAYS a good idea! I DON'T intend on making the same mistake twice!

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Bad idea. Statistically you are more likely to end up in divorce if you do.

BLP11520 · Answer

I have changed my mind on that, circumstances vary from couple to couple.

jimmy2 · Answer

Today you got to see if she or him a trans

TacosRAwesome · Answer

It's their choice.

LemiaOfThunder · Answer

It depends on the couple.

Marklaw12 · Answer

Not necessarily. Hence, trust

dustybiker · Answer

It’s wise.

gothbxtch · Answer

yeah ofc

BarryLiverstone · Answer

For sure

Anonymous · Answer

Yea sure

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