It's fairly easy to be on your best behavior when dating, but living together is a totally different situation. When dating, people want to win the other over, so they tend to be more considerate. You want to see how considerate the person is in real life. By living together, you discover any challenges that might exist. This allows you to get into therapy together and learn how to deal with those challenges. How you or your partner follow through on what you learn in therapy is a good indication of what to expect in the future. If we're not showing consideration when the relationship is young, there's generally little hope of seeing consideration in the future.
Once people get married, they often feel they are stuck and just have to put up with what exists (or complain about it). They are less likely to seek help and do what's necessary to see progress.
I'm not saying I recommend indiscriminate living situations, but if the two of you plan to have a life together, it is helpful to learn what potential issues might be and have the opportunity to work as a team on them before the legal commitment is made. Seeing how you and your partner address and resolve challenges is important to have a clear picture of what you are getting yourself into. There will always be differences. No two people will ever be alike. You want to learn how the two of you deal with those differences before you make a lifelong commitment.
I understand you don't need to live together to have sex, but I've encountered too many people who felt they needed to be virgins on their wedding night... only to find out they were sexually incompatible. It is helpful to know what we're committing to. Would you take a job knowing the boss will pay a salary if and when he feels like it? The longer a commitment and the more life inclusive it is, the more research we want to do in advance to raise the likelihood of having the results we seek. Would you buy a stock just because you thought the name was cute? Knowledge will definitely help, in all aspects of your life. Don't assume you know all you need to know before you have all the facts.
If you are seriously looking for a relationship, you are not following most of the derivates of dating trends and ideas that have developed in the latest century. A person who is seriously hoping to find a meaningful and stable relationship will be very intentional about the process. I believe that part of being intentional and proactive involves reflection of what it is that you want exactly in the long term. What is your ideal vision. Now I'm not saying we will find the perfect person, but the perfect potential to grow towards that vision, provided it is a common vision for the 2 parties. Now, as you date, you should try and find out if the people you are seeing are compatible with you in terms of that vision. You should not loose your time with someone who does not satisfy that. You shouldn't settle for less than what you want, because that will frustrate you and that will create an unhealthy relationship in the long term. Don't waste your time with people.. as soon as you realize there are red flags of incompatibility, move on. And moving on is easy to do when you are not living with the person. Dont get involved with the wrong person.
Now, when you do find the "perfect match", you will have done so very intentionally. If you are serious about wanting a stable and meaningful relationship, you will not go with someone random and "see how it goes". You will have been very intentional in your conversations with the person before deciding he/she is the one. And by the way: the person should be on the same page as you, they should have been very intentional and thoughtful about being with you. This is part of the dating phase. So now that it is confirmed that you have a common vision of what you want (and fyi its not a day by day map, its a long term vision in things like "i want to buy a house in the next 5 years... or I want to be traveling around the world living in different cities every season"... those are super different so it should have been discussed)... With common visions confirmed, you are pretty much ready for the next step --> getting engaged.
Now maybe you'll want to wait, I don't know why though. If you are certain they are the one and so are they, and you guys are ready to make your vision come true.. why be afraid of getting engaged/married? If a person fears marriage, they're probably not the one for you... there's nothing to fear in it. Being intentional requires overcoming fears. Marriage is a beautiful thing and it is the confirmation that you are being intentional about going through life together. That you have each other's back even when life gets tough... and when life is wonderful as well!
This is an interesting question and I wish more people would consider it. These are the stats I've read about co habiting BEFORE marriage.
People who live together might get an idea of each others' bodily habits, which ALONE could end a relationship if they are repulsive to one or the other. Or perhaps that their eating and cooking habits don't jibe and they could never live together, or one lives in filth and the other is a clean freak.
Those oddball issues aside: Since most folks don't have fetid feet, compulsively fart, or have horrible food addictions and live like a pig, living together before marriage offers scant information about the longterm survival of a couple.
When people KNOW it's a trial period, they are usually on their best behavior as long as 2 to three years. The average "breakdown" times, when people stop "honeymoon behavior," is 6 to 18 months.
Therapeutic professionals say couples who know each other in that ballpark of time, 1 to 2 years, what many call "the engagement," have a good chance of a sound marriage.
On the other hand living together for a SHORT period of time before marriage seems to be good. Perhaps the LAST six months before the wedding. Weddings are stressful. You'll get to see your potential spouse grumpy, annoyed, bored, exhausted. Just as he'll see you.
These are the relationship tests. Therapeutic pros say one the wedding ring in on, couples often mimic the adult relationships they witnessed and lived with as children. If their parents had a solid marriage and grandparents, aunts and uncles did also, they have good role models.
The fact that it's called "PLAYING house," is the most telling thing about living together. It's not real until it IS real.
Obviously... It's all nice and sweet when you only date each other... The real challenge is to live together. That's what's gonna determine if you can stay together or not, hence, if you should get married.
I'll give my own example: I had a girlfriend for 7 years, we moved together, and we broke up after a year. It just wasn't working. I had another girlfriend that for necessity, we moved together after only 4 months. A year and a half later I proposed. 2 years and a half later, and we are still as happy if not happier than when we met.
Imagine if I had got married with the first one before trying to live with her!
I actually read an article on this the other day! There are two ways that couples live together. The first way is “we might as well live together, we spend so much time together anyways and it would save us money.” This is toxic to the future relationship and causes issues down the road. The second way is the couple decides to move in together knowing the implications and obligations that this agreement suggests. That it’s a serious step in their future and think they would be compatible enough to live together. This is helpful for the future relationship. Definitely made me rethink because I was leaning on the whole saving money part and spending a lot of time together anyways. So I will not be moving in with my boyfriend or vice versa until we are ready for that step.
Covid-19 death rate is like one in a thousand. But the vaccine had to undergo three trials before approval for use.
And so far, after more than a year, trials are still on and WHO has not "confirm" the company that will be the key supplier.
Marriage is more "deadly". In Western countries, almost every one in two marriages will "die". In the East, the figure is about one in five to ten, much much higher than Covid-19 death rate.
Hence, if professionals and great institutions need to test until 3 phases, I think the complicated institution of marriage need at least 3 tests too to confirm that the "vaccine" works.
@Alyssa11 LOL! Marriage is REALLY worse than Covid-19!
Covid only killed 0.1% of those infected.
But marriage: 50% divorce since Y2k means billions literally lost their mental health, their wealth, years of "support" settlement, and untold number of suicide cases due to the consequences of it.
No, compared to modern Marriages that wreck life for the last century, Covid-19 is but a very small problem.
Totally. I want to know before i marry, if i will be able to live with them for the “rest of my life”. And what better way to get to know someone than in the comfort of their own home. My friend wanted to marry her boyfriend as soon as she turned 18. I told her that she should first start living with him to see if he is really who he present himself to be. Thank god i stopped her cause the asshole was a violent toward her. If she had married him first she would’ve been stuck with dealing with divorce papers at the age of 18-19.
In medieval cultures, there was a custom wherein a couple before their village, would pledge their pairing EXCLUSIVE to one another, for a year-and-a-day 'trial' marriage; after which, they COULD either 'finalize' their literal 'coupling' by 'Handfasting' or... go their separate ways "no harm / no foul".
Modern 'shacking up' serves a likewise function... conventional dating serves to show one another at your idealized 'best' persona, prolonged 'live-in' wears down false pretenses before entering into what amounts to (at minimum) a binding legal partnership in return for reproductive exclusivity and inheritance.
Then what would the point be to getting married? You are supposed to get to know a person a bit before having sex. Getting engaged is for getting to know if you get along and to figure out if there are any deal breakers, but usually done when living apart. When you live together I would assume you are also having sex which can skew your feelings towards a person because you are basing your relationship on sex for the most part and not them as an all around person. Also when you find out she/he is not the one you thought they were afterwards, then it will result in a messy divorce and you will have that stigma of a divorced person forever.
I think it could help them see what it would be like to live together and if that would work, but I don't think it is necessary. Neither my wife nor my family wanted us to do that, so we didn't. I think we were spending enough time together that we didn't have any real surprises when we're living together after we got married.
It really depends on different people and what their values are!
For me, I am traditional and I come from a Middle Eastern background. I will never move in with a guy before marriage because i don’t believe in giving him full access to me as a wife if I am not yet his wife.
As a Christian I don't think you should live together before getting married. Isn't that what dating is for to get to know the person better and find out who they are as a person. I am sure living with someone you would see who the real person is behind close doors. If the person cleans up after themselves and how live day to day. I know my brother lived with his ex girlfriend for like 7 years and it quickly took a 180 to see that his girlfriend acted like a totally different person when coming home. I can't imagine if they got married before living together how much worse the living situation would be for them.
I used to think shacking up and playing house was really poor judgment... but now not so much. You don't to REALLY know a person 'till you actually live with them - then all their true colors really come out. Are they selfish or generous? Neat or sloppy? Do they augment your life or detract from it? Do you have sexual compatibility? If you get that last thing wrong, you sign yourself up for a lifetime of anxiety and disappointment. Seriously.
So if you're waiting for marriage to have sex for religious reasons, just find someone like minded and plan it together. For the rest of us mere mortals, you better make goddam sure they're the one. Don't fuck this up.
Now, all that said, if you're going to actually stay together and start a family, then for gods sakes make it official and get married. The worst thing you can do for your children is to have to explain to them why you and their dad didn't commit to each other.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I think it’s a good idea because you can really get a feel for that person and learn their quirks, living style, habits, etc. I feel like you can also connect with them more privately compared to seeing each other every so often or only spending a couple of nights. You can really know them wholeheartedly being around them more and feeling that energy. I personally feel like I can’t marry a guy unless I live with him for awhile because what if we wait and it’s a completely different aspect when we live together and we already married.
Sure and it's necessary. To get to know each other, to know life together. I think this duration will be a short summary of marriage life. In fact, everyone over the age of 20 should live in a house separate from their parents.
I don't think that anyone should get married if they still live with their parents. But I also don't think it's a good idea to move in with a boyfriend/girlfriend directly from your parents' house.
Yes because, when you live together, the infatuation will eventually die down and you will experience what routine is like with your partner. This will allow to see how daily, everyday life feels with your partner and, ultimately, everyday life will make most of your couple's life because you don't date everyday, you don't feel madly in love everyday and living together will allow you to experience this so you can decide if you like it or not before marrying.
I strongly believe that they should. Getting married is one of, if not the most important commitments a person will ever make. People need to know each other very well before deciding. Living together lets them find out of they still want to be married for life after learning each others quirks, habits, lifestyles, and unguarded personalities. I believe it's also important to see if they are sexually compatible. Sexual compatibility is really important.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I dont understand why men and women would ever get married these days. Most women hate men and they only want to use them to support themselves and their children. Unless a guy really wants kids he should never commit to any women. Luckily feminists have introduced the concept of friends with benefits thinking that it will empower women (which is fine) but the biggest advantage to it is that it frees men up from having to be in any relationship just to have sex.
Don't live together, don't get married. Have sex but dont buy the cows
If they want to yeah. I have lived with my boyfriend coming up 4 years, we don't plan on getting married any time soon. Saying you can't live together because you aren't married ends up with people marrying young, which often results in divorce. Most people don't want to live with their parents till mid 20s and for most people it's pretty much impossible to live on your own. So you either go flatting with friends or strangers or you find a place with your s/o.
Or you get a real job. McDonald’s isn’t a real job. You can be an electrician or another trade and make money $12/hr starting and prob 60 hours/week. That’s enough to survive on easy if your smart.
I wanna be clear I used to think like you when I was your age. I had to work ot and get paid more than $10/h to find it what it meant to make real money. I’m just above median income in the states with covid flipping up my hours. Once you get a real job and work 60+ hours a week you’ll understand.
Houses are expensive here. Currently trying to buy one less than 10 years ago my parents bought their second home (at a mid to high price range) with less money than my partner and I currently have, we are at the bottom of the market. Plus groceries aren't cheap, good internet isn't cheap, definitely not easy to be living on your own and still have savings
Lol I struggle to struggle. My bills are literally around $1500 per month and I make around 4k per month. But I love to splurge and go overboard with food and such. I probably drop $400-$700 per month on food because I bbq every weekend lol. Course I’m single with no kids. Women don’t date men that are short, round, and milquetoast so I don’t have a reason, need, or desire to save more money lol
Okay. But you're still probably paying too much for internet and groceries. My roommates and I used to get hella fast internet for only $40 a month. ($17 each.)
Definitely on the cheapest internet plan and could probably go cheaper on groceries sure but it would be a sad sad life. Cost of living is really high here.
Unless I move to rural absolutely nowhere nothing is really different. Besides I love my job, my partner finally has a stable good job with a great income. I'm not struggling so im okay I just couldn't do it on my own.
It’s very unfair but I’m glad you can’t make it on your own. It shouldn’t be reliably possible for men or women to make it without pairing up. It should be a top priority to find acceptable partners and build a family early, when your 70 all that saved up money’s not gonna matter much if you have nobody to take care of and love you. So sad this is where we are.
Yes and I find people who don't believe so to be very un-logical and strange. You don't really know someone till you live with them. Once you live with someone you might find out there's certain things that are red flags and deal breakers with them but if you are married to them it's a little to late to back out without a difficult divorce.
Ab-SO-lutely!!! Look. Its not 1957 anymore. Its safe to say that 99.9% of non married couples have engaged in sexual activity. In most cases, living together is just practical. Plus, why not take cohabitation for a test drive? That way, if things dont work out, you only lose what you have invested to that point. Time, security deposit, maybe. The few things that the two of you bought for the house.
Yes. You learn a lot of important things about how compatible you actually are by living together for a while first. It can really help prevent getting into a bad marriage too.
I hate to say it... but you always "Test drive" a car before you buy it, and that's something you will trade in after a few years... why wouldn't you want to do the same thing for something you want to be permanent
They should just live together and not bother getting married. Unless they’re religious - most religious people seem to want that title, which is fair enough.
@devilman666 Atheists maybe? Marriage isn’t just reserved for Christianity - it’s also traditionally been a huge part of all the other religions that also branched off from Paganism.
Yes just to be sure it will work out because if you never live together you will never know if it will work out because living together is the only way to really know a person
Yes and no. Personally I’d say couples shouldn’t. You can get to know someone very well if you put in effort and are open with each other, admit to your flaws snd know what to work on to make yourself and your relationship better. Once you decide to marry then you move in. Your very own home as a married couple.
Get to know your partner before making big life decisions with them that could fail if things fall through.
I’m rolling with yes on this one because if married couples can’t live together & play nice before marriage than after they get married it’s going to be a nightmare.
Couples who live together before they marry have a divorce rate that is 50 percent higher than those who don’t. https://firstthings. org/myths-about-living-together/#:~:text=Truth:%20Although%20many%20couples%20think%20that%20moving%20in, is%2050%20percent%20higher%20than%20those%20who%20don’t. That is enough to make you question if living together before marriage is a wise choice.
Yes, 100% You don't truly know if you two are compatible until you live together and see EVERYTHING about your SO. If you live together you'll see each others habits that you normally won't see.
Absolutely. Couples should experience as many things possible together before deciding to be together forever, that includes living together (for both the social and financial experience) and ofc having sex to assure sexual compatibility.
Based on statistics no. I don't know why that's the case, but it's a strong enough correlation to make me think there is something to it. More often than not you should wait. If marriage and a long lasting one is the goal
I feel like living together and dating are two separate things, if you really like someone your dating, but they tend to have bad habits in their living areas, then your relationship may not start off well.
I would never jump into a marriage without tried living with them first. That's how you really get to figure out if they are the one for you. Can you make it work?
Maybe I’m old school but if a girl moves in with a guy he will never try to move the relationship forward. Why would he? He’s getting to play house so there is no rush!
There has been some recent studies done in the past 3 years that show cohabiting partners have a higher rate of divorce after 5 years of marriage. This is based on American studies in psychology and sociology.
One of the largest disadvantages to premarital cohabitation is economic for couples. There are certain factors as to why it's not the best for long term relationships depending on the couples themselves and their personal goals and beliefs.
Although it is the new normal for American society it doesn't necessarily mean it's healthy or better. There have been studies conducted and have produced the data showing that people and entire families benefit substantially and notably from couples who refrain from not only premarital cohabitation but also premarital coitus. These alternatives are not popular within many cultures including our own (if you're from a western culture) but they produce excellent results and benefits for all parties involved in most cases. @VanillaSalt@Jamie05rhs
So... don’t live together or have sex before marriage... does anal count? Na jk. Still don’t understand how though unless it changes how a person looks at the relationship and going In order effects this. I would believe it was the opposite.
Oh well I’ll prob never get married so I’ll never know lmao.
Because you can get use to living with each other before actually decided on a marriage and maybe to test how your relationship change when living together whether it's going to be good or bad.
Setting yourself up for failure before or maybe after marriage. It's not a guarantee that your relationship will be good when you get married. You will still learn and disagree about things before and after marriage.
Ask yourself this.."Which part of the traditional vows can you not see yourself committed to? If you name one, you do not need to get married. Because you will definitely experience one specifically... "Better or worst".
Marriage is nothing more than a verbal commitment before God and man. So, umm, yeah... Knock yourself out! You want to stand before man than God. "It's your pleasure." (In my Chick-fil-A voice)
Well another christian told me that athiests should be banned from marriage so I'm just asking to see what you believe. Sorry if that question seems ridiculous, but religion is ridiculous sometimes, at least in my opinion. Have you seen the christians who speak in tongues? Anyways I'm getting off track. Good, I'm glad you think no one should be banned from marriage.
Unfortunately, I dislike so call "Christians" not representing the very God they say they follow. Jesus never treated people like that. The entire Bible is all about love of God and mankind. If you ask God for understanding of the Bible, read it and study it without judgment, you will walk away with "Love".
And, yes, religion can be silly because of "Man". But, we shouldn't allow "Man" from stopping us to read and study for ourselves. I grew up in the church all my life and was never taught to look at "Man" but God. God uses man for many things "Spiritual, Medical, Education, Science, etc. He created it all due to popular belief.
And, yes, I have "Speaking in tongues as the "Spirit" gives utterance. I look at one every day in the mirror. If you wanna chat about it message me. I'll tell you my testimony.
What is your interpretation of exodus 21:2-11? How does this teach love? The story of jephthah? 2 kings 2:23-24?
What does it mean to not look at "man" but god?
What have you said? Which languages has he made you speak? How do you know you were speaking an actual language and not making things up? Have you looked into any of the analysis of this phenomenon? For example William J Samarin analyzed 5 years worth of data on the subject in 1972 and found it to be "meaningless but phonologically structured human utterance, believed by the speaker to be a real language but bearing no systematic resemblance to any natural language, living or dead". Other linguistic experts have done similar analysis and reached similar conclusions.
I'll say this my friend. You will not comprehend anything I will say because you don't believe. Now, as far mankind. My thoughts and not a Christian. I'm using my God given brain. Man is stupid yet have the intelligence of a fool. No matter how you dice it. You were made by something far greater than yourself. And, God has given man the choice to believe him and follow or get left behind. Yes, God has given you the choice to not believe in him. And, you have made that choice. Or, have you? Because for life of me I don't understand why you are trying to understand something you don't believe in. I don't try to understand an atheist (If that's what you are) because there's nothing to know about you. I don't try debunk your God (Which is you.. You are a god unto yourself) Now, if you came to learn and study, that's "one thing" But, you ask questions to challenge. I don't like throw offs "How is that showing love" Read it! The Bible is about "People" no different than what's going on in the world today. God's word gives guidance back then and now. You can't take one passage from the Bible and run with it. You must prayer, read and study. Annd, pray again. The Bible says "Study to show thyself approve... Man shall not live by bread alone but by the word of God, love God, etc." What's wrong with that? Sounds good to me. You focus your attention on the wrong things in the Bible "Man's sins" to justify "you" And, why do you believe in you. I don't believe in me. I am my worst enemy. I believe in God and his word.
Just as it read. You focus your attention on a man or woman to know God for yourself. And, by doing so you will fail. A Christian is just a representative and not the owner of heaven or hell. God is. Look to Jesus the author and finisher of the faith. In him we move and have our being. Not man.
Fourth question:
If one don't believe, he will not understand. The Bible says the Christian life is a believe lifestyle. You are taking information from someone who don't believe. The Bible says as the "Spirit" gives utterance. If you don't have the spirit of God, you will not speak in tongues.
I Corinthians 2:14 "But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned."
So my lack of belief makes me stupid? Is that what you're saying? Those who don't believe in God are incapable of comprehending anything about him? Seems ridiculous to me tbh, I don't see how belief affects my intelligence/comprehension skills like that.
How do you know I was made by something greater than myself? Does this mean something greater than God created God? Did God create himself? Can anything exist without being created?
Apparently God has not given me the choice to belief in him, because according to you, I can't comprehend anything about him, and therefore cannot possibly believe in him.
I tried to believe in Christianity, I went to a christian highschool, I read the full bible, when I was 12, I prayed, I begged God for a sign, I begged God to save me from my sadness and loneliness, I begged and begged to God and I heard nothing, I saw nothing, all I felt was emptiness and lonliness. I understand the religion because when I was suicidal I threw myself at it in the hopes it would save me, it didn't, in the end I saved myself.
I am an athiest. With that said, why don't you try to understand athiests? I try to understand christians out of my love for humanity. I want to see us succeed, I want to help people, I want to know the truth, and I want to know my place in the world. I am curious about so much, understanding the how and why of the universe is one of my greatest desire, helping humanity to grow would be another of my greatest desires. I don't understand how you (regardless of religion) can just choose to not try to understand others, maybe you just love christianity instead of humanity? I don't know for sure, I'm just guessing. What do you mean there is nothing to know about me, I just divulged a lot of information about myself.
I am not God. I dont think anyone or anything is God, if I had to choose something then I would say everything is part of God. The universe as a whole, is God, I don't see anything else great enough to worship. If there is a God who is able to percieve how his actions affect us then in my opinion, he must be as flawed as we are. If he were perfecf then the world wouldn't be as flawed as it is. That isn't specifically against your God by the way, that's my view on the universe, I see flaws everywhere, not just in humanity but everywhere, what kind of loving God would create cancer? Or mental illness? Why would a God create people who are incapable of comprehending him?
I already did learn and study. You however, did not. You know nothing of my beliefs, yet I have read the bible. I mean that doesn't give me insight into your interpretation of the bible, but it certainly helps me to understand where you're coming from. To be fair, in your defence athiests don't have a book like the bible so the only way you can understand anything about any athiest's beliefs is to ask about it.
I ask questions to understand and to help others understand, I can be quite straightforward with my challenges. Socrates (a great philosopher who I look up to) once said, "an unexamined life is not worth living.", he said that just before he drank poison (he was convicted of a crime and sentenced to death, they gave him this choice because he had served as a warrior or something). The meaning should be clear, you should question and examine everything, never accept something purely on faith, I use this to examine my beliefs and try to figure it flaws in my logic, I wish I was perfect, but I am FAR from it. Examing myself is the only way I can improve myself, so I constantly question myself. I also extend this to others, and instead of berating them I try to ask them questions in order to lead them into examining themselves and their own beliefs.
I have read it, if I hadn't read it then I wouldn't be quoting it. I agree that the bible is about people and the biblical God and the relationship between the two, however I cannot say if the bible is about real people or fictional people, I cannot even say who the authors are. Neither can you tbh, you believe what you believe and I'm not attacking you on that, but we have no certainty on the Bible's author or whether or not many of the people in it ever existed. We have evidence for some but then, for example, Jesus is basically only mentioned in the bible, outside of that we have a couple Roman's who said that they saw someone who was supposedly related to Jesus or knew Jesus. For example we have writings from Josephus Flavius that he watched Jesus' brother, James, being executed by roman soldiers. We have no eye witness accounts of Jesus' death other than the bible.
You can get guidance just about anywhere tbh, the native/indigenous peoples of my country, Canada, used to seek guidance from their ancestors and animal spirits. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that by the way, just using it as an example. People can get guidance in many many ways, some people even think they see messages of guidance written in the stars or in their alphabet soup.
How does prayer help? I ask genuinely, I've tried prayer, it did nothing for me, so I have 0 understanding of it's benefits.
There is nothing wrong with that verse, but here, let me show you something, "The art of reading and studying consists in remembering the essentials and forgetting what is not essential.", I won't even give you a chance to wonder where that's from by the way, it's mein kampf, that was written by Hitler.
You can find decent guidance in pretty much any book, as long as you ignore the bad parts, but that doesn't mean that the book is necessarily good. In this case I am not saying the bible is like Mein Kampf, but rather using Mein Kampf as an extreme exampke that shows even the most vile and bigoted pieces of work can have slivers of insight that actually aren't bad. I focus on everything in the bible, good and bad, I only pointed out the bad to you because you only see the good. You are correct that there are things we can learn in the bible, much of what Jesus said was very wise, for example giving to charity is good.
I focus on the sins because it shows that even the bible has evil in it. Not everything the bible teaches is good, just like how not everything Mein Kampf teaches is bad. Both good and evil exists inside everything and everyone.
I believe in myself because the existence of my mind is the only thing I have true 100% certainty of. For all I know I could be insane, I could be schizophrenic, everything I experience could be fake, a chemical response in the brain. Beyond that, I don't believe in me, I often think that I am a failure and that everything I do is wrong, my self esteem is shit, I've even thought that I'd be better off dead and the world would be better off without me. I am also my worst enemy, I've always been my own biggest bully, I'm flawed and I often feel conflicted, but I think that's just normal for humans.
Why do you believe in God and his word?
Exodus 21: 2 “If you buy a Hebrew servant,(D) he is to serve you for six years. But in the seventh year, he shall go free,(E) without paying anything. 3 If he comes alone, he is to go free alone; but if he has a wife when he comes, she is to go with him. 4 If his master gives him a wife and she bears him sons or daughters, the woman and her children shall belong to her master, and only the man shall go free.
This is "indentured servitude", but if you read further and deeper, you'll see that this doesn't extend to everyone, only male jews. Non-jews, and women, were owned for life.
Exodus 21: 7 “If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is not to go free as male servants do. 8 If she does not please the master who has selected her for himself, he must let her be redeemed. He has no right to sell her to foreigners, because he has broken faith with her. 9 If he selects her for his son, he must grant her the rights of a daughter. 10 If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights. 11 If he does not provide her with these three things, she is to go free, without any payment of money.
For non-jew slaves we have to turn to leviticus 25:44-46, which says: 44 And as for your male and female slaves whom you may have—from the nations that are around you, from them you may buy male and female slaves. 45 Moreover you may buy (A) the children of the strangers who dwell among you, and their families who are with you, which they beget in your land; and they shall become your property.
Sure, some bible verses say one thing but I can find verses which contradict that. I can find verses of God hurting young ones, and the bible condoning the stoning of children. If you don't believe me, 2 kings 2:23-24 features children harmed by God, the story of Jephthah features God allowing and condoning child sacrifice, and Leviticus 20:9 says: "`If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother, and his blood will be on his own head.
With that said I cannot see the questions I asked anymore, and I'm not sure what you were responding to with the second answer.
Please stop telling me what I believe or what I do. Stop making assumptions about me. I dont focus on anyone to know God for myself, I focus on the bible to know "God" (the god of the bible, aka Jehovah aka Yahweh), and I focus on people to understand them and their understanding of things.
A Christian is a representative of what? Is God the creator of Heaven and Hell? Is God the creator of Sin? To be honest, that seems like a nice non-answer. I still don't feel like I understand how YOU personally, look at God and not man. What does that even mean? Does it mean God tells you what to believe? Does it mean you interpret the bible in order to know what to believe? What does it even mean? I genuinely don't understand.
Why do people need to believe in God to understand anything? What does "believe lifestyle" even mean? I've never heard that term before. Why do I need information from someone who believes in YOUR God? How would belief in a God help me to understand things? I genuinely want to understabd everything so please explain this to me. I don't really want to speak in tongues, in my opinion it seems like the same as saying nothing, so I have no desire to do it.
So you think Athiests can never know anything about God? Can Athiests learn about God without believing in him? If not then how does anyone convert from athiesm to Christianity?
Sorry that was so long, I wanted to respond to as much as I could and actually offer a full explanation about myself so you maybe understand me a little. I also wanted to question your beliefs, both to push you to question yourself, and to help myself understand YOU personally, and what leads you to believe in God.
I just reread a bit of what I said and realized I left out the last verse of leviticus 25 44-46
44 “‘Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. 45 You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. 46 You can bequeath them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life, but you must not rule over your fellow Israelites ruthlessly.
"Slaves for life" "you can bequeth them to your children as inherited property"
by the way I tried to respond to everything in order of how you wrote it, so I apologize if it gets confusing at points, maybe I should have quoted you to show what I was refering to.
I would say so yes, because the idea of marriage is for life, so it is vital to understand how you both cope with each other in close proximity before making the leap.
I mean dating is a test drive so why not living together as a test drive before getting married? I think that's a great idea.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Yes, I need to know is it possible to live with her as I suppose to sing up for rest of my life being with her, but that is not relevant these days marriage only peace of paper letting women to take everything in time of divorce...
I did that and it did not help. Things change when you get married not mater if you live together first or not. It is how you handle the change that counts.
I think it's a good idea as it gives each of them an idea of how it will be like when married , that way they can decide if they want to proceed or not
yeah because it will give you the opportunity to feel out the situation and you can still RUN away any time when you see this person won't be a suitable lifelong match
Holidays 
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
+1 y
+1 y
