So up until a few years ago, I vowed never to get married because of what my mom went through. Two cheating and abusive husbands and before you go saying anything bad about her, she didn't receive anything from either divorce except heartbreak.
But since I've fallen in love, my whole perspective has changed and a big part of me thinks our marriage will last but there is still doubt because of what my mother went through. But her last marriage has been a success. They've been married for almost 15 years. It gives me hope. But then there's still doubt in the back of my mind, like should I really enter something I used to believe was hopeless.
Marriage doesn't exist anymore in the west in the legal sense, and among people who believe it is about themselves rather than children it doesn't exist at all between them in the cultural sense.
What we have instead is a bit of a phony institutionalization of mere friendship among adults parties fraudulently claiming said trappings and name on the basis of their mutual 'pleasure' rather than security of their children.
This is not marriage, indeed as their relationship is now defined. It has no legitimate reason to exist beyond the ongoing consent of the 2 adult parries involved, and as such it has increasingly not.
This is why over the last 100 years we have progressively abolished every aspect of the original union to better reflect the modern cultural understanding of it as a mere mutually beneficence friendship.
The innocent 3rd party children's interest have reluctantly been totally abandoned leading to a catastrophic collapse in future generation's well-being as well as increasingly mere existence with sub-replacement birth rates.
So if you think Marriage is for sucker its because it doesn't exist at all.
Your looking at the lingering legal entrapment of a completely different institution for a completely different propose. .
1.1K opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
It would be interesting to look at the correlation between whether a couple smashed wedding cake into each other's faces at the reception and how long the marriage lasted. I think that is a disrespectful thing to do even if it is a "tradition" among some people.
Marriage has never failed anyone. People have failed themselves and each other in their marriages. Many people, such as your mother, undoubtedly chose the wrong partners for marriage and it is no wonder that it eventually failed. Some people failed to honor their promises to each other, some failed to treat their marriage as something that is important, and some people simply failed by yielding to addictions. It isn't the institution of marriage that killed those relationships; they died because of the decisions and actions of the participants in marriage.
Marriage is a relationship that has worked for humans for thousands of years and, as much as contemporary people want to think they are different, human nature has not changed. Marriage can still work for a couple if they have lust, love, trust, and respect, and a willingness to work on problems that arise rather than running away at the first sign of trouble.
I am getting married on April 27. Good luck to you!
Nope. All of my 3 older sisters are married with great husbands. And my parents have been married for many years too. I think marriage is where people want to make more commitment, keep promises to their partner, treat them right, etc. just like they did when they were dating, but higher up. Your mom just picked the wrong men to marry, but she found a man that treats & loves her much better than any of those other men could. It's all about the people in the marriage, not marriage as a concept itself. If you work as a team and make sure both of you are getting needs, wants, etc. met then it can work. But if you aren't or one of you abuses the power, then it will end.
Pretty much it is for suckers. You see most people cheating and divorcing (men too I am not blaming any gender for this issue) and see more relationships becoming Ploy and that is because in nature there is no marriage contracts or divorce papers in nature you just animals running around having sex or raping each other.
homo erectus began to create community-oriented where they cared for the sick and elderly. The thing that is missing a marriage contract is the community. Old human tribes helped raise families and the sick and old. Now a man works and funds for his wife to stay at home and watch the kids while the dad has little to involvement. The woman starts to get upset the man doesn't spend enough time and then a divorce happens.
Ploy relationships are increasing because humans were never men to sit at home all day or Infront of a computer. All these institutions are created by the rich for you to conform to the system that only benefits the rich.
For example I rented out a house to 8 Chinese men living in the same splitting the and all of them made at least 100k a year, so they would split the bill so to lower the cost and then put that money aside for the huge corporate building they own now in the city. They have community and they trust each other.
Now I'll give you an example of two American guys I rented out to. They both worked together to pay off the house and once it was paid off the one of the friends had his name in the lease and he moved his girlfriend in the house and kicked his friend out on the streets and he got nothing. You see? rugged individualism and getting into relationships and marriages based on how you feel about the person you are with and not anything else. It's usually decisions made by the individuals and they neglect any community which gives them worst outcomes because they don't have any social capital or people that help move them up.
It ain't for suckers! It's just not the way it was in the past... Ask your mom this: "there's this guy who's name is Tony, he asked me, if you're husband didn't cheat and stayed with you, how much time do you need to find a proper excuse to dump him?"
I know that she will tell you: "wth, ofc i'll never dump him, i love him, i die for him, bla bla bla..." but common let's face it, don't you women think that no matter how much you love a guy, there will be this moment where you're going to dump him for any reason? Unless you were able to control him like a robot 🤣
Women always nag that she was hurt cause her man cheated or dumped her but no one's asked her, if he was loyal and never dumped her, how much time is she willing to stay with him before her love expires to him?
I know that you're going to say "wth are you talking about and i'm different, this and that" but the proof is out there, search and see!
Men and women these have high expectations from each other, they don't just settle for the simple things, cheating is very easy, divorcing is being encouraged by feminists, no faith in god, no morals and no values, no nothing...
Our lives became like: "just living the moment" we don't care if it lasts or not and we believe that there's always someone else, also it's very easy for women these days for women to jump like super mario from a man to another, no need to put any effort to be in another relationship!
The majority of men are just males these days, show them anything and they will drool like dogs in front of you, you can use them for their money or anything else, just use them and when you're done, sh*t on them and dump them, do you think that i give a f*ck!
If it was for me, i'll take all these males and feminazis and burn them alive in the same trash bin!
Your mom's marriage has been a success this time because she learned from the last ones. Her experiences set her up for better in the end, and this usually happens when you learn from them, so I'm glad to hear she's had a 15 year-marriage that has worked.
Regardless, marriage is not the faulty structure. The people are. Marriage doesn't make anything bad and doesn't make people suckers. People do. The human heart is wicked and can't help but to cause suffering for others. Marriage is not for them, it's for people who know what real compassion and bonding is. You should go for it.
No it is not for suckers I know many people who have been happily married for years. Vast majority of my family has never gotten a divorce. Honestly the married ratio is not as low as you think. That 50% is of marriages that end in a divorce not how many people. People that get 2+ are the ones that bring that down so it looks worse than what it is. People need to stop going into marriage thinking divorce is an option and stop divorcing for the stupidest things and actually put effort into them. I could list more things but I will stop with that.
Most women want to "get married." But they don't want to "be married."
The difference is, they fall for all the feminist and Disney programming, subconsciously wanting more excitement than solid, good life partners provide, then nuke their current situation in search of greener pastures.
Guys can do better (at least in their head) with porn than some average girl. A woman who has her own set of desires, maybe a kid or two, is probably a difficult, soft 6 who thinks she deserves a man who is more masculine, makes more money, etc, etc. The juice as they say, 'ain't worth the squeeze.'
Nope. It's not a case really. "I have faith in marriage. It embodies care, love, happiness, understanding, offering a helping hand, mutual pride, respect, courage, and also entails compromise (even if it's sometimes one-sided)." Please note that it's my definition and everyone may have own opinion which I do respect.
It’s supposed to embody those things but never actually does. You don’t need to get married in order to have those things either. Why people think those things are somehow set in stone when they get married I’ll never know…
It's not surprising. When you come from a broken family, seeing something that seems slightly better than how you were raised gives you hope for the future. When you come from a stable family and you know how people are suppose to act toward one another for marriages to actually last a lifetime, you come to realize there aren't that many great candidates in the world...
Every time your mother entered a marriage she sounded just like you.
Yes, marriage is for suckers. Even a good marriage doesn't make your life easier or better. The only reason to enter the institution is to have children. Love doesn't last in the best of relationships. It fades and dies fairly quickly and you will get tired of someone's sh! t. You are falling for media propaganda that promotes relationships for the sake of consumerism. You buy the house and then you fill your house with junk you don't need and have children so they can grow up and do the same.. There has to be pier pressure to get married in a society cause nobody in their right mind would engage in the institution without feeling pressured by society to do so.
Yup after a seconds "failed marriage" i believe that is for suckers... why? all my younger life worked and put the on a "pedestal", just for them to be happy and see that i`m family oriented, and what i`ve got? (after houses built and cars bought?"... bye-bye... So fuck that shit! No more, learned my lesson, and the hard way... twice now!
I believe that marriage under no-fault can be a very dangerous proposition. Basically the person with more assets / the larger earner, which is quite often the woman nowadays, is risking half of everything and part of future earnings on the hope that the other person won't have a change of mind and unilaterally blow it up somewhere down the road. At least with at-fault divorce, the person who didn't cheat was not ordered by the courts to fork over half of everything plus spousal support.
Marriage isn't for suckers im sorry your mother went through that but my mom and dad was married 36 years and if my mom didn't pass away they'd still be married
i don't believe its for suckers. i believe marriage has been twisted into more about the event, and then incels for how unfair it is to men, than about what it should be.
Nope. It’s been one of the best things in my life. It’s important to chose the right person for the right reasons. I think that’s where some people get it wrong.
To expand, I once got frustrated by the lack of substance in the women I was meeting. When I asked, rhetorically, “Why all women were so…” I was corrected ever so eloquently by a female friend “You mean why all the women you keep letting into your life are so…”. It was not the women who were the common denominator in all my failed relationships. It was me. I learned and recognized the truths. Life got much better (as did relationships) from that point forward.
I think it's worth doing once in life. That said all it really is now days is a piece of paper and maybe if you're lucky better health insurance for one of you. Beyond that, it's not some sort of magic cure all.
Yes most definitely, it’s supposed to be a woman’s special day. In the past you’d gift her family with animals, land etc and take the girl u love from her father. Becoming the new male leader in her life, done through religion for sanctity and stability. Married virgins perform much better than those who have slept around. Unfortunately the government made themselves part of the equation seing $$$ in failed marriages
If ur a guy I just don’t see any benefit to it only risk, girls get all the benefits during and big pay out after when they’re divorced. Most girls should try to get married if they can find a guy dumb enough to do it.
Talk to my mother about getting the benefits to her marriages. She got abused and cheated on with no money at the end of it. Most girls should not get married just so they can get beat on and cheated on.
Women, like men, have to choose their partner’s very carefully instead of jumping in head first just because things seem great in the there and then without thinking about the future.
It’s not my fault ur mother willingly signed up to marry a guy with trailer park drama. You’re anecdotal personal experience doesn’t take away from what’s generally true.
It's not a trailer park drama. He was in the military so he had money but for some reason he got away with not paying her any money or me for that matter. And it's true that a lot of marriages are like my mom's where the man benefits from cheating and abusing their wives and the wives taking it.
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