Why is marriage too much of a commitment but having a kid is not?

[Justneedtokno]

I would think having a child is a long-term commitment. You don’t wanna be tied to someone forever and a child is forever.

[Summeroflove]

This depends on the person as well as their intentions. Some people future fake with someone because at the end of the day they don’t really want to be with them they are looking to find someone better. But they need someone to move on to as well as if they don’t find someone else they want to have someone they’re able to lock down.

Let me say children can come unexpected if people are reckless and lack self control. But marriage is a huge decision but so is having children don’t get me wrong. I will say rushing marriage is just as big of a red flag as well. Sometimes there is more nefarious intentions and they want someone to sign the contract fast.

Some people do this where they knock someone up or get knocked up by someone and just marry them. Even if they barely know one another… Those marriages rarely end well (there are exceptions to the rule) and most end in misery for both people. Who have nothing in common, never really loved one another, and only married because they had a kid together.

Many times it leads to someone having affairs. Especially if someone was basically just sleeping around when they met and they just so happened to have kids with one another.

[AviatorTom]

I never viewed marriage or having kids as too much of a commitment. I was married (3 kids) for 20 years before an amicable divorce, and I'm remarried for 8 years and still counting.

I suppose some people might view marriage as a lifelong commitment... til death do us part... while a kid eventually grows up and moves out on their own.

[Anonymous]

Marriage and having kids should go hand in hand and should be viewed as equally important. Unfortunately, neither is taken as seriously as they used to be. The percentage of children born out of wedlock has skyrocketed over the last 50 years. And marriage rates have plummeted at the same time. It seems guys just want to have casual sex and don't want to get married anymore. And to be honest, given the current state of marriage (well actually divorce) and the court system in the US, I can't really blame them. It's a sad mess.

[Apple1996]

No idea why people think that like kids are for life. My mom had 4 kids with her first husband and even tho she's been divorced from him for 30 years she still has to hear about him from my brothers even tho they're all grown. If for some reason they never had kids she could have gotten divorced and never heard or seen the guy again

[DizzyDesii]

people ask me that often because im for sure i want a kid but unsure if i want marriage. At least the unmarried one allows me to “feel free” and not trapped/stuck with the wrong one for if things get too toxic.

[NathanDavis]

kids grow up and move out... eventually

you can't really kid someone forever...

[Justneedtokno]

You still have to be a part of that child’s life forever, whether it be life decision decisions that they make marriage college adulting a shoulder to cry on whatever I still to this day would love to have my mother a part of my life grandchildren like they’re not gone

[NathanDavis]

yes, true... but you will have them in your life, as the adults they are, or should be...

and not "kids"

[ProbablyClueless]

I don't think most people in that situation were necessarily planning to have kids.

[msc545]

None of this is about "commitment". It is about legal and financial risk. Smart men do not get married or have children.

[wkhan_87]

Because almost all couples are agree to have kids after marriage

[Anonymous]

For men, marriage is too big a risk, and children mean responsibilities without rights.

[Anonymous]

Both is lots of commitment.