Why do men consider having kids with their partner a bigger commitment then marriage?

[Anonymous]

**Disclaimer** I am aware not all men think like this it just seems to be the trend (especially in the UK where I’m from) with people around my age (26-32)

Am I crazy for thinking that having kids with your partner is a bigger commitment than getting married to your partner? I think splitting from someone you have a kid with is arguably worse than splitting from someone you are married to. Especially nowadays raising a child can be an over 18 year commitment.

discuss

[Anonymous]

Because the current definition of "marriage" is a meaningless concept among most people.
It was originally about kids, in fact failure to have children was THE ONLY justifiable reason for ending a marriage.

The current definition of "marriage" in popular culture is basically just a friendship between adults with the unrealistic expectation of their mutual "happiness".

Why does anyone else even care about such a relationship enough to have a ceremony or any pressure to maintain it? Just because they slap a "love" label on it doesn't mean that it's ending and replacement is of any greater consequence than a regular friendship.

In "marriage" it was the children that made the difference and the children that were the point. Now our children are screwed either for want of being raised by 2 parents or worse want of being born at all.

All because someone had to hijack and redefine the institution of marriage thus abolishing it in practice.

[Summeroflove]

This is honestly extremely reasonable having children is a lifelong commitment if and when I decide to have babies with a woman, I want to make SURE that those babies have a good mom. A person can always divorce (although being married should be a lifelong commitment unless you’re abused or cheated on) but you can’t just get rid of your children unless you’re a coward.

A lot of people though want to fuck around and end up knocking up/getting knocked up by the wrong person. Especially if they just marry them. The parents may deserve the consequences of their actions but they children never did anything unfortunately many times they’re dragged into it.

For me, kids should come AFTER marriage and you should be very careful who you marry. There’s lots of people who would not make a good spouse much less a mother/father.

[Summeroflove]

I think a child deserves both parents in their life. Sometimes it’s not someone’s fault if there’s a death or something. But it really hurts a child to grow up without one of his/her parents

[DishLady]

*Than marriage…
Bc MARRIAGE is an agreement between two adults who supposedly know what they want and knowingly choose to be with each other.


HAVING CHILDREN is a lifetime commitment to tend to the formative generation and development of a new person from Day 1. Children don’t choose their parents, so if you SUCK at it there’s no escape for them… and if they’re little daemon spawn type kids that only a mother can love, there’s no escape for you….


Folks SHOULD be more mindful of who they do, about using contraception properly and about mindful conception… because once you get THAT ball rolling (parenthood), you’re in it for life.

[Razp_Sorbet]

Having kids is absolutely a bigger commitment. Marriage isn't a life long commitment even if you want it to be. Kids are life long.

[V_Injector]

Who has to work and pay the money? If it works out or not who still has to keep doing that shit just because the kids are not 18 or get sent to prison?

Fuck women and kids... it's a death trap. Elect me for supreme ruler... hookers. They like to fuck, so do you. You might as well pay less to fuck sluts, let them get paid, you get your rocks off, and everybody wins.

[Avicenna]

It is- you can dissolve a marriage but you're going to be dealing much longer with your ex about the kids.

[CB-Raido-Time]

I once had the dream of growing up getting married and having children, but that was when I was around and up to around age 9 or 10 years old. Then I began to notice the deck was stacked against men with full confirmation of that coming by the 80's and the evidence just kept stacking up. By the time of my last ex in the mid 80's I pretty much knew I was never getting married she crossed every I and dotted every T.

But not wanting to get married doesn't mean someone wants to spend their life completely alone and I certainly didn't. And after taking care of children during the 80's then I begin thinking about adoption I knew while taking care of children I didn't even think about things like dating and marrying and I begin the idea of adopting and that's when I begin to see the depth the extent how the deck is stacked against men.

Now days men are turning to sources such as mgtow and discovering the stacked deck that most men have refused to acknowledge or were willing to ignore for so many years. Men know now that women use children to control and oppress men with that game is no longer hidden and men are finally acknowledging it. Most men used to want children even marriage but sadly women and feminism practically crash humanity.

[bobby_bush_eater]

I think you're right but some people just don't recognize their responsibility in something like that. In the US there are surely tons of single mothers. You can't make the man be a father, he can just leave like a deadbeat and get away with it. Sure you can fight in court about child support but they don't always win and the man can definitely make it difficult.

Marriage however, is the state and or your religion recognizing you and binding you to another person. Financially and legally putting both of you in a vulnerable position. The man has something clear to lose there and divorce in general massively has favored the women (specifically stay at home moms), the common trope of her "stealing" half your stuff.

I want marriage and kids so I don't personally believe in any of what I wrote but I also believe prenups are a good thing to clear up a lot of the marriage commitment issues and set fair guidelines for both parties.

[Berethor]

Marriage is human-made, having children is biological, what the difference of married couple and non-married couple, a peace of paper? children are actually what truly bond a couple, children stay even in case of divorce, and children are the future, children are your legacy.

[sawno]

Because if you have kids you are basically automatically married as well. But with the added commitment of caring for the kid, having to work with you on parenting even if it doesn't work out, etc. Not saying any of that is a bad thing but its definitely more commitment.

[PeachyPie93]

They are both big commitments just people don't think marriage is because "we can divorce" but divorcing really isn't that simple of a thing. I wouldn't recommend marriage or children unless you are really certain about the person.
You got to love those young guys in their early 20s tho since they seriously don't care about consequences and will knock you up if you let them lol.

[CuriousHubby]

My wife will fully agree! It's more a commitment and is so much more exhausting and such a huge thing! 😂

Being married is one day! My wife freaks if she feels she might be pregnant! Having kids is like 20 years of taking care of someone else if your lucky!

Your not crazy and I think all the bad stories parents tell and divorce stories make it harder for any one to even want kids!

Let alone if you may end up divorced!

[_SillyShoes_]

Because it literally is. Anyone who doesn't think that is an idiot.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Smartshoes this time

[_SillyShoes_]

@Telekinetic-Potato Haha thank you. :)

[ManInChains]

Because if they have kids she can control his life. Women have too much power yet claim to still be oppressed.

[WhitneySnow]

It is a bigger commitment but I personally would never have a kid with someone I wasn’t married to

[Richarding]

Actually, we should never give birth in this world. There is no such blessed quality as being a strong antinatalist.

[Kelley1]

I believe men are more committed to their children than to their marriage.

[Nikki1989]

I suspect most men don't have what it takes to be a father.

[Vegasrunner]

Kids are the one thing that will force a man to tolerate a woman. That's why they say women "trap" men w/ babies because without the kid men would walk away a lot easier

[RingOfFire]

You can undo a marriage but you can't undo kids.

[ManInChains]

Unless you’re a baby killing woman 🤷🏻‍♂️

[DrPepper12]

Cuz it is!!! I could walk away from her for a million different reasons! I can't think of ONE that would get me to walk away from my kids!!

[OddBeMe]

Oh dead beat dads! Yes agreed.

I thought you just meant in general, having kids=way less stress than marriage. Was about to drop the big one on you. Ngl

[LiamJHayden]

Because it is, at least in the modern world. Having kids is for life. Marriage, not so much.

[Anonymous]

Because kinds ARE a bigger commitment. And for men, having kids is risky because fathers essentially have no rights.

[Anonymous]

Both are a big commitment, but an even bigger risk for men.

[MikeTheBartender]

One lasts 18 years, the other averages 7.

[Staximus]

Kids are a bigger commitment than marriage

[jahaims]

Because it is